TRAGEDY STRIKES
I am not really sure what to say in this entry and my very first one at that.
I am just going to start writing as I normally do and if you like it, just follow along and enjoy the ride.
I was thrown from a car at eighteen years old
now here I am going on twenty-seven with a story to be told.
I spent three months in a coma, almost a year in rehab
learning how to walk again, it was all so sad.
It was a cold night in the beginning of October and I could finally have some fun
still young and naive I thought the fun had just begun.
I can’t remember exactly how it happened
I cannot recall you see,
They say when the brain experiences trauma, the memory of it is set free.
rarezircon
After my near fatal car accident I awoke at Baylor University Medical Center which is a hospital and rehabilitation center that provides specialized treatment to those with a traumatic brain injury, spinal cord injury, stroke or other orthopedic or neurological conditions.
I wasn’t scared nor was I aware what was happening. The most I can bring to mind about this substantial moment in my life was the obvious irate man directly in front of me, yelling obscenities to whoever was listening, I suppose.
I cannot tell you what his fit of rage was regarding, only that I wanted him to shut. the. fuck. up. Using those exact words. My thoughts were very testy then and very unapologetic to anyone and everyone who bothered me.
The memories I have at Baylor are very scattered. I am now well-aware my thought pattern and lack of concern for others, as well as myself, was owed to the fact that I sustained a severe traumatic brain injury.
Nothing made sense to me. I thought I was living in a dream. No, I knew this was a dream and was sure I had the perfect strategy to confirm this madness. I was becoming more alert and starting to acknowledge a daily routine. I knew I would be wheeled onto an elevator everyday, go to the same place for a little while, then be wheeled back onto the elevator and return to my room. I tried to remember the floor numbers when I got on and off the elevator each day and it only gave me more reason to believe I was living in a nightmare. I was certain the floors I went to daily were never the same!
I was very angry. I remember being agitated with everything and everyone of which I came in contact. I just wanted to wake up and go home. Go home to my boyfriend and my newborn baby. … That’s right. I just had a baby!
I decided to ask my mother if this was happening. I distinctly remember the night I posed the tragic question. It was dark in my room, dimly lit by the glow of the television. I asked her if this was real and I’m pretty sure I had to repeat the question a few times because my speech was unclear, slow and slurred. I might have had quite a few misconceptions during this time frame, but there was no denying the desolation of her tone when she told me this was indeed, real.
I have played with and changed this blog so many times, however, before reading anything else pertaining to me, this should be read FIRST.
Just a reminder of where I’ve been! I need to see this every so often.
There are those days when I am disgusted by all of my “short-comings” and they stick out like a sore thumb.
IT COULD BE SO MUCH WORSE
