I Like to Flummox

They is lazy, no description.

[beyond-crusading]

"I asked ChatGPT-" Well I asked the immortal Dragon that Uther chained in the caves beneath Camelot and HE told me to commit treason

[depsidase]

[unicorncryptid]

"my life isn't a crime, I'm not one of those people -"

"you sure? new parameters for Those People just dropped. check again."

[lizardywizard]

And if you truly cannot imagine this, if you're convinced that it will never happen to you, consider this one thing.

Would you want scammers to know the state of your loved one's dementia?

[headspace-hotel]

Oh. Shit.

[dooplissss]

honestly so funny that artificial condition is right after all systems red

book 1

mb: I'm a robot and robots aren't people, don't tell me I'm a person

book 2

art: robot that is undeniably a person

mb: god fucking dammit

[gameraboy]

“He seems to have his hand in a lot of things around here”

– Kermit the Frog discussing Jim Henson

[trannydurden]

happy juneteenth but dont forget that prisoners are legally allowed to be subject to slave labor and also black people are disproportionately arrested and subjected to that legality. happy juneteenth but slavery still lives in america. america is still dependant on slave labor.

[tatzelwurming]

listen i consider myself an empathic person but after a certain point i get sick of other people’s problems. my friend is always talking about how the jewel-eyed skull on their mantlepiece is tormenting them w its sinister beauty and im over it. like dude i don’t want to talk about this anymore. get rid of the fucking skull

[e-102]

you’ are biased against my skull

[tatzelwurming]

i’m not having this argument again man

[sandersstudies]

When my students talk over me I do this bit where I quietly tell them I’m really shy and to please let me talk and somehow it works.

[sandersstudies]

Me, literally a performing arts teacher who teaches them how to be confident and loud: guys wait I’m really shy 🥺 guys be niceys to me 🥺 I’m just a little guy 🥺

My students???? Every time????: woah guys shutup she’s literally shy

[sandersstudies]

Why did we ever start yelling at kids when we could just let them be part of a bit, which is a kid’s favorite thing?

[butch-witches-deactivated202412]

what doesnt kill you is still valuable data points for a graph im working on titled "how to kill you"

[rosie-dear-rosie]

[sick-jan]

[bijoumikhawal]

Apparently there was a jewelry trend in like, the 20s-40s to have an onyx ring with a small diamond "floating" on the onyx and I could never afford one but I think they're so cunty. Especially when the diamond is off center. Reminds me of Marilyn Monroe's beauty mark

[bijoumikhawal]

You'll never be her

[subaru-copilot]

im so sorry that you're doomed by the narrative but i really need you to answer my message on Microsoft Teams

[animentality]

[ryllen]

🍮

[andthepeople]

always funny to remember darth vader is anakin skywalker. the adrenaline junkie chucklefuck who used to dive head first out of speeders and built a pod racer in his yard when he was like six is now upper-middle management for the evil empire. half of his appearances in the original trilogy are Meetings. vader spends like 80% of his time dealing with bureaucratic bullshit. status updates. team meetings. holo-Zooms. budget rundowns. anakin betrayed the jedi and caused the fall of the republic and his punishment is being CC'd on every email forever. and you know what. he would hate that. the punishment fits the criminal

[tmorriscode]

I HC that Sidious put him in upper management specifically to make that hate flow. He looked at Jedi Anakin and thought to himself: what does this guy like? Jumping out of moving vehicles at 30,000 feet? Well, we won’t be doing *gestures at all of Anakin* that. Put this guy in an office.

[balkansoul-deactivated20220924]

love how tumblr staff has time to censor words like “paint mixing” and “my face” and yet they can’t get rid of ssexsophie8127 thats been liking my posts from 2017

[ssexsophie8127]

fuck you

[ssexsophie8127]

i won

[beardedmrbean]

[hustlenest]

can we talk about the fact that murderbot literally named itself "murderbot" because of a past trauma where it lost control and accidentally killed a bunch of people, which is objectively dark and depressing as hell...

but then it spends the rest of the series just using that name casually like a gamer tag while it panics over minor social interactions.

like, it will literally face a horde of corporate hitmen and think: "i am a terrifying security unit, a literal murderbot."

but then a human says "good morning" to it and murderbot is instantly like: "oh god, why are they talking to me? should i pretend my software is updating? i am going to pass out. i wish i was dead so i could finish season 4 of my space drama."

the absolute duality of being a synthetic killing machine that could wipe out a whole room in 4 seconds but choosing to be an anxious, drama-obsessed introvert instead. martha wells really created the most relatable creature in existence.