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so today i was hungry and i had no energy. so i decided to make my self a provolone pepperoni wrap so first, i walk in to my dark ass kitchen open the fridge nearly get blinded and i grab a month old bag of tortillas and i pull out a tortilla they are all stuck together, i pry them apart with minimal damage lay one down put some pesto on it smack two pieces of cheese and four pepperonis on it. i throw it in the toaster oven to melt the cheese as i turn the toaster on it beeps louder that the fucken fire alarm nearly waking the entire house i wait a min for the cheese to melt and just as im about to pull it out it beep EVEN LOUDER actually waking the entire house, i pull it out put it on a plate and i think to my self you know what would be a good addition to the wrap, oregano so i open the spice cabnet looking for oregano hoping to find it and to my delight i do its a bit empty but ill make do. i start to pour it on to to my wrap i here plop plop and then powder hitting to tortilla and i look down in utter horror shock and discust and i see cinnamon C I N N O M O N two whole sticks of the shit. my soul left my body for a solid 5 seconds. and as i come back i look at the now in my mind cinnamon bottle to see my grave mistake and i read it and it says oregano WHO PUTS CINNOMON IN AN OREGNO BOTTLE WHY WOULD THEY DO THIS TO ME I CAN EAT THIS ABOMINATION CINNOMON MONSTROSOTY.

#meme thingy #story

reweber313

cat?

I fixed it

#pringles #your welcome

sm-baby

making thibgs... to send people

gayteensupreme

im literally forever obsessed with this because it implies the following:

The Rapture, as described by Christian Evangelicals, has happened

Parents witnessed their son disappear during The Rapture, but remained atheists anyway (based)

Instead of sinners and nonbelievers going to hell or getting killed, they just... stay on Earth.

detectivehole

some of you are miserable because you’re mean. like you’re just mean to people and things

detectivehole

“why don’t i have any friends” because you are mean

detectivehole

this can be fixed at least in part very easily though! just stop being mean. i believe in all of you 👍

roach-works

‘but i’m not mean’ ok, cool! do you:

point out people’s mistakes and failures to them? in front of others?

belittle their accomplishments and successes? in front of others?

make fun of people and laugh at them? in front of others?

do all this secretly to your ‘friends’ because friendship means being able to ‘joke around with’ each other, or ‘be brutally honest’ with each other?

bring up past grievances with people over and over until they’ve apologized ‘enough’, or just to shut down arguments with them, or get out of conversations you don’t want to have?

refuse to do favors for people? like when you feel they haven’t ‘earned’ your time or effort? or at all because you don’t want to be ‘taken advantage’ of?

try to get out of paying your share of bills, doing your share of chores? spend time figuring out exactly how little you can contribute to groups in terms of time, effort, and money, without anyone noticing or getting too mad at you?

get angry and jealous when people are happy about things that don’t concern you? get angry and jealous when people pay attention to each other and not you?

spend any amount of time ‘getting even’ with people?

THIS BEHAVIOR IS MEAN.

you might feel like you’re a perfectly nice person who cares a lot about people but also speak your mind and take no shit! but if you do any of this stuff, people won’t like you anymore, because it fucking sucks to be around you. you suck to interact with. no one fucking likes being mocked, criticized, picked on, upstaged, pushed around, mooched off, or revenged upon. they will, if they have any self-respect at all, avoid you.

the worst case scenario actually isn’t that you end up alone. it’s that you end up with other people who are just as mean as you are, and you all mutually tear each other to pieces on your way to drug addictions, losing all your money and property and kids, and jail time. this happens a lot, i have seen it go down, and it’s not fun even for bystanders. please consider putting the time and effort in to be nice, instead.