so this is literally the first time I have ever made a post like this on this tumblr account, I actually made another post on an old account I later deleted.
my name is Jordan
and I have not had an easy past year for what it’s worth but I want to share a story that might help other kids who were / are like me :-)
Starting in high school I was pretty much an outcast, I was overweight I was strange and socially awkward I didn’t treat myself very well, I thought maybe changing my outer appearance would help me become the person I had always wanted to be.
fast forward to the second set of pictures
this was me at around 200 pounds (Starting at 260-250)
I was unhappy still, even with my weight loss I still hated the way I looked. ((but hey I look back now I was a cutie but that is off topic))
not only did I hate myself physically but mentally I was still trying to find myself I have been picked on / bullied my entire life for me to meet people who did not have a negative thing to say past all of the horrible names I was called in the past had basically given me internal trust issues that every time someone had said something good about me I didn’t think they were telling the truth.
I had finally “met” someone I could talk with and have something with which turned into a complete disaster and ended in me being brutally hurt to a point I’m still not recovered (but that’s really another story)
I became obsessed with weightloss and my appearance constantly trying to change myself, I didn’t look at myself for anything more then appearance, it didn’t matter if someone had something positive to say if anyone had anything negative to say that’s what would be engraved into me.
slowly it became worse, I was basically ready to completely give up and end my life because I didn’t feel like I was good enough to be apart of anything, I did not feel like even with all of my success anything positive would come out of it
I was worrying friends, people were scared for what I had become this went on for a very long time I was starting to feel like I was losing friends all I could talk about was my weight it’s all I really seemed to care about.
I lost myself in all of this because I was trying to please people who really were not part of my life anymore!
fast forward onto the final set of images;
this is me now and It’s a journey for me because I am not 100% ok with how I look but I met someone who is part of my new life, who loves me for who I am.
((Shout out to my boyfriend Justin!)) we’re moving in together later this month and he’s on his own weight loss journey which I am supporting him 100% throughout.
if you feel the need to change for somebody because you don’t feel good enough, DO NOT.
because your weight will not change how you feel inside that’s an entirely different journey, please do not EVER think you’re not good enough because I have been there and your friends (Shoutout to my Bestfriends for putting up with my tornado of hate and loved me through it!)
will be there for you!
if someone makes you feel like YOU have to change they’re the ones who need some self discovery because you are beautiful and you deserve to be happy.
300 pounds - 80 pounds
underweight or overweight, love yourself because if you can’t love yourself how the hell you gonna love somebody else?
work hard and do it for yourself, fuck negative keep the good vibes.
ps. if you ever want someone to talk to send me an ask, I am really slow normally but I will get around!
annaxmalina
dededos
kianamaiart
yousharknotpass
prguitarman
