From the Desk of MR. Troll. (ceo)

Fine providers of at home trolling products, and other services.

[mr-troll-ceo]

Why I lift

Why I lift, In this life so many people will lie to me, betray me, or hurt me. But not the Iron. The iron is all ways there waiting for me. It never bails on me, nor will it lie to me. The Iron is never to busy to spend time with me, or to push me to my limits. Other may say that they care, that they want to be around me, that they love me, only to hurt me later. But not the Iron. All it has ever said is "I am heavy to day, as I was heavy yesterday, and as I will be tomorrow, as you have found me in the past. But one day you will find me to be lighter. On that day you will add to me so that I may be heavy to you again, as you have before. You may lift me now, but you can not to hold on to me for ever. I will break you forcing you to set me down. But I will not mock you, but welcome you to try again, and again. Each time I break you, I all so build you. So that as you may add to me, I will add to you, so that I may find you stronger than when I found you." That is why I lift.

[aliteraldragon-blog]

Help me, Banjo’s refusing to feed me, “because I’m too well-fed for a dragon.” Well, Banjo, you don’t know ANYTHING about dragon anatomy, and just because I can’t lift myself with my wings DOES NOT mean I am over-weight.

[mr-troll-ceo]

Here at Troll co. (a LLC) we take our employs health very very seriously. That is why I am enrolling you in our fitness, and weight management program. As we all know obesity does lead to some very serous, and costly health problems. It is not fair to every one to have to look at you.  

So from this moment on you are now going to spend 2 hours (1 in the morning, and 1 in the afternoon.)  working with our Dietion, and our personal trainer in our newly built, and fully furnished Slave labor salt mine, err I mean company gym.

If we (and by we I mean you) can't get you down to a more healthy weight, then we will be forced to terminate you employment with Troll co.

Now if you will excuse me I have some fat children to chase with a bull whip.

[mr-troll-ceo]

Stepping out from behind the mask.

On the 15th of September one of my really good friends was involved in a really bad accident that left him in very bad way.  His wife needs help paying for his medical copay.  I'm not one to drag shit from my life on to my tumbler, but they really do need the help,  look they aren't asking for an un godly amount of money, just 20K (usd).   I know that's a lot for one family to come up with but if only 2000 people gave $10, they could reach their goal.  I'm not asking for a lot, but they really do need the help.  His wife, and his kids need him to get better so he can go back to work, but he can't do that if they can't pay the co-pay.  It's only $20,000 (usd)  if we all chip in that would take no time for us to raise.

I'll post the link to the fundraising site at the botom of the post.

Thank you any one that helps them out, and thank you to any one that donates money. -Jace-

Link:

http://www.gofundme.com/jchermanmemorialfund

[saladkin]

Would you be interested in attending a lunch, er I mean a mid day power meeting at my office say around 12:30 tomorrow?

Depends on what’s for lunch! Steak is non-oppressive.

[mr-troll-ceo]

Well you can order what ever you would like, just a heads up, the dressing.  Errr dress code, is spicy, and vinegary.

[aliteraldragon-blog]

Here at troll co. (an llc) we have need of your skill set. As of right now we employ over 8,999 people, and some of them are being a little less than well honest about how many pens they need.I as much as I would like to let every employee take as many pens from the supply room as they wanted, Troll co. (an llc) simply can not afford such waste. Employee theft is very costly and hurts all of us. Would you like to be our new "Head of security"?

Sorry for the delay, Banjo sorta got busy with school. It’s lonely, staying at home all alone. But certainly, I’d love a position at your place of business as “Head of Security.”

[mr-troll-ceo]

We do have an opening in accounting department.  Can you sit on large piles of gold for years on end? Do you have any problems with the possibility of killing Dwarfs, and or Hobbit or two?

Well if not then we could use some one like you. You would have to be able to start by the 25th, of October, and you will be eligible for health/dental in 60 days from start of employment.

Now if you’ll be as kind to excuse me, I have a Grey Wizard to beat to death with a tube sock full of Grapefruits.

[aliteraldragon-blog]

Of course I can! What do you take me for, a human? Pah! I certainly can take care of your gold. Consider it done.

Now, about the dental plan… Do I choose my own dentist, or is there a company-approved one? Because, for reasons hopefully obvious, I need some special dentists.

[mr-troll-ceo]

Good,  You start on the 25th of October of this year, your company health benefits will not kick in until the 23rd of January, 2015.  You have until the 15th of December, 2014 to in role in the company's retirement planing, all so you have until the 18th of December, 2014 to transfer over your personal 401k if you wish to in role it with our retirement program.

Now about the dental plane has a few levels to pick from.  But that will be covered in orientation on the 25th of October.  All so the dress code is Business professional, and yes we do have an in house tailor that can handle making you two suits if you so need them, but it does come out of your pay, but you do get to keep the suit(s).

Now if you will excuse me I have a Moss to ride around the halls.

[aliteraldragon-blog]

Here at troll co. (an llc) we have need of your skill set. As of right now we employ over 8,999 people, and some of them are being a little less than well honest about how many pens they need.I as much as I would like to let every employee take as many pens from the supply room as they wanted, Troll co. (an llc) simply can not afford such waste. Employee theft is very costly and hurts all of us. Would you like to be our new "Head of security"?

Sorry for the delay, Banjo sorta got busy with school. It’s lonely, staying at home all alone. But certainly, I’d love a position at your place of business as “Head of Security.”

[mr-troll-ceo]

We do have an opening in accounting department.  Can you sit on large piles of gold for years on end? Do you have any problems with the possibility of killing Dwarfs, and or Hobbit or two?

Well if not then we could use some one like you. You would have to be able to start by the 25th, of October, and you will be eligible for health/dental in 60 days from start of employment.

Now if you’ll be as kind to excuse me, I have a Grey Wizard to beat to death with a tube sock full of Grapefruits.

[mr-troll-ceo]

This why you do not drive from South Texas, to Wisconsin in one go.

[no-fun01]

Incredibly rare WHITE humpback whale spotted off coast of Norway

[porpoise-princess-deactivated20]

migaloo part II.

[mr-troll-ceo]

That's no Whale.  That's Paul from accounting!  Get back to work Paul, or you are fired!  Aqua therapy my ass...

[cocoscabin]

Reblog if you will answer LITERALLY ANY anon questions.

[mr-troll-ceo]

The giant Moose in the employ break room

The giant Moose in the employ break room, will be left where it is, as it turns out that no one wants to going there.  As a result employee down time from breaks has dropped dramaticly, and productivity is at an all time high.

All so I have order an additional giant Moose for every bath room in the building with exception of my own.  All Moose’s will be placed with in the gender correct bathrooms. 

If you have any complaints please write them down on the paper provided by the incinerator, er I mean complaint box.

[theimperialguard-kin]

Here at troll co. (an llc) we have need of your skill set. As of right now we employ over 8,999 people, and some of them are being a little less than well honest about how many pens they need.I as much as I would like to let every employee take as many pens from the supply room as they wanted, Troll co. (an llc) simply can not afford such waste. Employee theft is very costly and hurts all of us. Would you like to be our new "Head of security"?

No thanks, I’m fine not having (TRIGGER) cancer.

[mr-troll-ceo]

That's odd I could have sworn that we removed all of the Asbestos in the building in 1993, and sent it over to some 3rd world Nation (North Korea if I remember correctly)

Well ether way it's your loss.  But should you change your mind we can all ways work some thing out.

[mr-troll-ceo]

Would you have a position available for a literal dragon such as myself? My human friend has been pestering me about leaving his room for some time, and I'd love to explore my options. I could make a great accountant, or bookkeeper. Or, I'd make a fantastic HR rep. Just asking!

We do have an opening in accounting department.  Can you sit on large piles of gold for years on end? Do you have any problems with the possibility of killing Dwarfs, and or Hobbit or two?

Well if not then we could use some one like you. You would have to be able to start by the 25th, of August, and you will be eligible for health/dental in 60 days from start of employment.

Now if you'll be as kind to excuse me, I have a Grey Wizard to beat to death with a tube sock full of Grapefruits.

[mr-troll-ceo]

Troll co might be looking for you.

Here at troll co. (an llc) we have need of a certian skill set.  As of right now we employ over 8,999 people, and some of them are being a little less than well honest about how many pens they need.

I as much as I would like to let every employee take as many pens from the supply room as they wanted, Troll co. (an llc) simply can not afford such waste.   Employee theft is very costly and hurts all of us.  But this is where you would come in.  As head of our security department you would be on the front line of pen theft.  Defending the company from needless waste of both supplies, and capital.

Would you be interested in such a position with in the company, and could you give me a brief run down on what you would do if you encountered such an act?

[mr-troll-ceo]

I am very pleased to give you Troll co.s new line of toys!  Now they are not on sale yet, but they will be next month (in select test markets)  and they will be rather popular, so you better buy them before the stores sell out!

[mr-troll-ceo]

I really need to do some thing about the giant Moose in the employ break room.

I has come to me, I really should take care of the giant Moose in the employ break room.  So as of now I am taking bids to relocate the Moose to Mens rest room on lvl 43.

[mr-troll-ceo]

My act as the new dictator of North Korea.

As my first act as the dictator of North Korea will be to invade the nation of Turkey.  Once I have fully taken over Turkey, it will be renamed Pheasant.  That is all.

[mr-troll-ceo]

The President of North Korea

I am very pleased to let you know that all of my hard work has paid off!  I have "settled" the debt that North Korea owes me.  Now as to weather or not they like is up to some debate, not that it will make much difference in the long run.

So to celebrate this momentums occasion, I will allow all Troll Co. employees an additional 36 seconds of lunch time for the next 2 days!

In other news it seams that we have a slight radiation leak in to the air vents again.  So until this problem can be resolved I just suggest that every one hold their breath, and think happy thoughts.