miracle jones!

www.miraclejones.com

[mraclejones-blog]

I stand there holding my bag of vomit, staring at the security guard, waiting for him to start to see how dignified I am. I start to tapdance.

The Avengers: Age of Ultron 

[mraclejones-blog]

Watchlist: 32 Short Stories by Persons of Interest. 

Short stories about surveillance by: Etgar Keret. Robert Coover. Aimee Bender. Jim Shepard. Alissa Nutting. Charles Yu. Cory Doctorow. Randa Jarrar. Katherine Karlin. Miracle Jones (!!!). Mark Irwin. T. Coraghessan Boyle. Dale Peck. Bonnie Nadzam. Lucy Corin. Chika Unigwe. Paul Di Filippo. Lincoln Michel. Dana Johnson. Mark Chiusano. Juan Pablo Villalobos. Chanelle Benz. Sean Bernard. Kelly Luce. Zhang Ran. Miles Klee. Carmen Maria Machado. David Abrams. Steven Hayward. Deji Bryce Olukotun. Alexis Landau. And Bryan Hurt.

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2015

For my next collection, I will be writing short stories about the sci-fi future of poverty, titling each one after highly-anticipated movies that will be debuting in 2015. I am probably going to call the entire collection Tomorrowland.  Here's the first story in this collection, "The Avengers: Age of Ultron," which is a...uh... "superhero origin story" about a trip to the bank.

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My novel Sharing is now available for sale at Instar Books.   If I can sell 100 copies, I will get high and eat an entire erotic cake, alone, on some lonely street corner in Queens (a video shall be made, lest ye doubt my veracity).   If I can sell 500, Sharing becomes a real live print book from OR Books. (...I uh also recently redid my whole website... to reflect how we are all uh..."fighting to survive, in a world with the darkest powers")                              

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[orbooks]

Stephen Colbert and Sherman Alexie call for a boycott of Amazon.

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!

[orbooks]

“The press doesn’t seem to consider this newsworthy, but there is a war going on between Amazon and book publishers.” — James Patterson stands up to Amazon for how they are treating authors, fearing the demise of American literature at the hands of monopoly.

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YEAH MAN YEAH

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“I know you have all heard this from me a bajillion kajillion times, but we aren’t food as love,” said T.J. Maxx, Director of Concepts at Yum! Brands (NYSE: YUM). “We are food as fucking. And not just like: good fucking that you do listening to old disco on a Sunday morning to piss off the neighbors, all fake animal noises and trying to rattle the chandelier with your cock. We are food as nasty fucking, the kind of fucking where the leftovers smeared on the vinyl cause diseases, the kind that would snap your prostate like a rubber band if you did it for real, the kind of fucking that you can only do to yourself in your head."

From Food As Love, which is all about Yum! Brands (NYSE: YUM).  

[orbooks]

When Google Met WikiLeaks, by Julian Assange, is now available for pre-order.

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“We are gonna talk about Facebook in the future like our parents talk about cocaine,” he said. “Man, I can’t even remember that decade. I was on Facebook the whole time. I met your mother on Facebook. I did so much Facebook that my balls went numb and I could only fuck on Facebook. You want to see pictures? They are on Facebook.”

from "Ladykiller," which is about Anonymous sending a sex android to an app developer (who works for Buzzfeed) as a passive-aggressive wedding present

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"I am working at the new Amazon fulfillment center in Haslet, Texas as a seasonal, part-time picker.  It is winter. We aren’t workers here: we are associates. It is a job that I can do hung-over and high and I can make just enough money here to technically have my own apartment, a place to store all my empty beer cans and all my crumpled Taco Cabana wrappers and all my stacks of shitty sci-fi novels." Happy holidays, I guess!

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10 Dead Poets (I would fuck)

I am basically a "poetry groupie" already, but the choice I made here betrays how erotic I find eternal fame commingled with sordid middle class sensibilities, I guess.

[orbooks]

We are extremely proud to be publishing “Gay Propaganda,” a dual-language book of Russian love stories, edited by Masha Gessen and Joseph Huff-Hannon, which will be distributed by any means possible in Russia (and everywhere else) on the eve of the Winter Olympics in Sochi.

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seems legit

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Emma Lazarus wrote America's Craigslist "casual encounters" ad, and I think we have a solemn duty to live up to this advertisement.

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I kind of want to start a tumblr where people post badass pictures of their  kidney stones floating in outer space and airbrushed to look like awesome meteors.

[orbooks]

[mraclejones-blog]

BRAVO and CSPAN should put together a show called "Real Senators of the United States."  I WANT TOTAL ACCESS.  I want to know who is a drunken lush and who talks shit behind Lindsey Graham's back.

[orbooks]

Psst: so we’re publishing new fiction by Gordon Lish very soon. Are you as excited as we are?