Uriel = this on angel dude, Adam = the guy who owns the house we’re all squatting in, Lily = Nobody cares.
“Wait... did Adam design the characters after us?” I asked looking at the four small figurines after Uriel opened the small box.
“I think so, I guess I’m the hat,” Uriel said picking up and inspecting his pawn.
“Then I guess that makes me that makes the gun me,” I said taking my one.
“The teacup it obviously Adam,” I said looking over to the fourth pawn, a literal stone carving of a pile of crap.
“I think this might be-” I was interrupted by Uriel who said “Yeah definitely…”, we both looked over to the sleeping Lily with pity before deciding not to wake her up to play the game.
“Right, so I assume you know how to play the game?” Uriel asked.
“Yeah, I played it by myself once, my parents bought me the game for Christmas and I had nobody to play it with so I learned the rules,” I explained.
“That is that is the single saddest thing I heard from you,” Uriel said with even more pity in his eyes than before.
“Shut up, it’s not like I wanted to play the game with anyone!” I replied.
Uriel just kept shooting me that same pitiful look,
I took out the four stone tiles inside which when placed beside each other into a square make up the playing board, I put Uriel’s pawn on the start square labelled ‘Start Here’ same thing with my one.
I gave each one of us five brown coins and five green coins…
“What about the other pawns?” Uriel asked.
“I’m not going to give money to pawns that aren’t in the game…” I replied.
“So you’re not going to use the other pawns?” Uriel asked.
“Why would I put pawns that nobody is going to play on the board?” I asked rhetorically.
Uriel picked up the pawns and placed them down, “It does no harm for us to include them.” Uriel shrugged.
“Sometimes, I can’t tell if you are just that…annoyingly nice or if you’re just trying to piss me off…” I complained before rolling the dice.
“One…” I announced before moving my pawn one square forward, it read “Warebears attack you, you loose one brown coin, if you don’t have one, you lose a green one, else you go back to the start…” I surrendered the one coin…
“Alright, now you go…” I said tossing the dice to Uriel, “Six,” he announced, he moved his pawn six places forward before reading the square aloud “A small inn, you can buy it for one green coin.” Uriel put one green coin away before pulling out a little green-stone house figurine, “Keep in mind the green ones are mine.” He said placing it down on the square.
I roll again, “Five!” I announced, “Finally, luck is on my side!” I said as I move my pawn forward by five only to realise I landed on Uriel’s inn, “Ah, welcome to my inn!” he exclaimed upon seeing this, I looked to the bottom of the square, it had ‘1B’ written in small text, I guess that’s the amount I have to pay for stepping on it, I had Uriel one brown coin,
Uriel looked over to me, “Why are you paying me?” he asked.
“Because I landed on your square,” I explained, slightly irritated at this point.
“It’s alright, you can stay for free, I’m sure my inn can stay in business despite letting one person stay the night for free.” Uriel shrugged.
“THAT’S NOT HOW THE GAME WORKS!” I exclaimed handing him the dice.
Uriel rolled again, “One…” he said, a grin spread across my face, “Oh, too bad, it’s ok though - sometimes, luck just isn’t on our side.” I explained.
Uriel moved forward by one, “Upon leaving the inn, you are approached by a group of bandits! They demand your money or they will kill you, which will mean returning to square one.” Uriel read looking down to see an ‘at least 2B’ written on the bottom of the square.
“Ooooh, that suck!” I said with a wide grin, before seeing Uriel place six brown coins on the square.
I wasn’t sure why he did this…but to be fair, he did a lot of stupid things.
I roll the dice, “three…” I announce, moving my pawn over, “Surprise square!” I said as I reached for a card, “You found ten brown coins behind the couch!” I read with excitement before grabbing ten more brown coins.
Uriel rolls the dice, “One…” he read again, he moves over to the square, “Looks like your competition stalked you, move one pawn closest to the start to the square ahead of you.” Uriel narrated before grabbing the cup pawn and moving it to where I was, Uriel then took out a surprise card for the pawn.
“Swap your money with someone else on this square…” Uriel read.
Without saying anything I roll the dice, “Six…” I grumble before narrating the square “Multiply your money by two! -Enjoy~”
I just handed Uriel the dice…
He rolled the dice… “One” He announced moving onto the surprise square, “Add the value of all player coins on this square, and divide by two, that is your current balance, if it is not a full number or not an even number, round up and or minus one coin,” Uriel said,
0.5(13 + 0) = 6.5, Round up to 7 and minus one 6 Brown, Green remains the same since the value ends up as 8, except for Adam who looses 1 Green.
“GOD DAMN IT…he’s taking advantage of the other pawns…is that even allowed?!… I guess I might as well cheat too…” I decided.
“Hey, you have Adam on your side, I think I should get Lily.” I suggested, I expected him to protest but he just said: “Sound fair, I’m glad you learned from your mistakes.”
I rolled one for Lily’s pawn, “one…” she moved onto the werebear square and had to move back since she has no money.
“LILY YOU LITERAL PIECE OF SHIT!” I cried, causing the real Lily to wake up and jump up, “Adam?!” She exclaimed looking around, “No, no, sorry, I was just screaming at your pawn in the game.” I explained waving Lily to go back to sleep.
I roll the dice for myself, “one…” I moved one forward… It was a bland square…
“What does a blank square mean?” Uriel asked.
A devilish idea was born in my head, “Oh, that…it means that we…fight…” I came up with some a random excuse.
“A fight? How does that work?” Uriel asked,
“Simple…” I look at the cards…”We just think about who would win the fight with the give land and pawns…” I explained.
“I see…a very creative game!” Uriel exclaimed.
“Exactly!” I replied, “Well since this is me, I have the teleport bullets so I teleport beside your Inn.” I explained moving my pawn to the square after the inn.
“Alright, in that case, I think I win,” Uriel replied uncertainly.
“Why is that?” I asked looking around the board.
That was when I imagined it, I move towards the inn…ready to take the enemy castle when suddenly… I’m surrounded by a group of bandits… Uriel pointed to the bandit card, “It says at least 2 brown, I gave them six, by giving them all I have I hope, nay pray that they will help me in my hour of need if such a time comes!” Uriel exclaimed.
I looked over to my money pile, no coins…this means I’m dead!
I flipped the board and left leaving Uriel along in the living room, except for the now sleeping Lily.
