Paul Turner's #1 Fan

mainly professional wrestling and music he/him 28

[mrfunnyinthebank]

sideblog

(Mister Funny In The Bank)

icon image description: Dom Mysterio's screaming sweaty face. Rhea Ripley's thighs are squeezing his head.

header image description: photo of CM Punk's right hand making a fist so you can see his knuckle tattoos that say "DRUG".

i also run @future-wrestling-headlines which at least 1 person's mom has reportedly gotten a kick out of

tags i use for original content

#my video - videos of me, usually talking about wrestling

#notes - screenshots of notes from my phone

#flutistry - anything relating to my flute music

#my art - my art. NOTE: always read the alt text

[lemonsweet]

Do you remember the episode of Spongebob where he's training gary for the snail race and does a coach persona + calls gary a girl and has an aside where he's like "I called you a lady to demean you 🤓" and right after he says that it cuts to sandy and she somehow telepathically feels that Spongebob just did something misogynistic and us like I feel like I need to kick Spongebobs ass for some reason. And then she appears just at the end of the episode to kick his ass.

[sforzzz]

im gonna make it big someday just you watch

[sforzzz]

*goes back to jerkin it*

[sforzzz]

waaaaaaiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiitt

[mrfunnyinthebank]

the larger piece is entitled Samoa Joe Has Been Voted Sexiest Man Alive For The Twentieth Year In A Row and has this text on it in braille, which I wrote (by hand):

The champ is here – the 25 year old world champion rests in the corner of the barricade, glistening with sweat. The competitor in the two-toned trunks is billed at 6'2" 270 lbs. His wrist tape is white, for now.

His lips are parted and his thighs are spread in his squatting position, elbows resting on the barricade walls. His mid-thigh trunks ride up. the lights in the high school gymnasium bounce off the shiny fabric.

The wrestler shaves everything below his eyebrows, which are thick. The dark hair on his head is thick and full as well, cut respectably yet fashionably short. His eyelids are shiny with sweat, resembling the glitter of eyeshadow.

14 months, 19 men, and none of them get it done. CM Punk thinks he can take the belt tonight, but he is sadly mistaken. Samoa Joe is professional wrestling, and he cannot be beat.

the smaller piece is entitled That Fat Ass Samoa Joe and has this text on it in braille, quoting the Big Bad Booty Daddy Big Poppa Pump and Lauren Thompson in the Steiner Math promo:

See, but I'm gonna break it down for all you ladies: would you rather be with me? Or would you rather be with Joe?

"Well, I think Joe's kinda nice, I mean, y'know..."

See, you're one of those girls that like romance. I'mma talk to all my freaks out there. Would you rather come home to me, a genetic freak, to be satisfied every night? Or go home to that fat ass Samoa Joe?

[mrfunnyinthebank]

[fishwikipedia]

she finally killed him and is dragging his body into a deep hole

[memorycycle]

(to the tune of working on the railroad) iiive been working on the railrooad

[mrfunnyinthebank]

Hey, are you selling any of your work online? If that Ospreay/MJF one still exists I would definitely be interested

Not yet, but I am working on it! I will have prints of the MJF/Ospreay piece available once I can figure out appropriate pricing, including a version of the piece with the accompanying description/poem on it in braille

[buried-in-stardust]

Writing 和風細雨 (he2feng1xi4yu3; gentle breeze and light rain) with a cat's tail on a water-writing mat.

Water-writing mats turn black when wet and return to their original colour once dry, so they are often used to practise calligraphy with water. The black colour allows you to see your writing clearly, and the mat can be reused as soon as the writing dries and disappears.

[eng by me]

[bluering8]

listen to me, this is so so important: you've gotta get used to really giving it your 60% as a default. like don't half-ass it necessarily but try not to go over 70% or so of an ass. you'll feel better and live a happier more fulfilled life, and on the rare occasions where you do need to lock the fuck in you'll be able to pull off bullshit that the sad miserable wretches giving it their 100% can never dream off, because they're busy draining themselves dry and you have energy reserves to spare.

[smokingchagga]

This is actually what I was adviced to do at the work rehabilitation program I went to. Hasn't left my mind since. 10/10 solid advice

[shalpilot]

i’m so thirsty… won’t you use /water to water me?

[belzrgr]

/water

[shalpilot]

oh…. why thank you!!

[this-is-trans-joy]

everyone loves to hate terfs until they realise that it actually entails rejecting bioessentialism entirely and then suddenly you’re “taking things too seriously” and you “don’t have a sense of humour” like i’m sorry but saying protect the dolls doesn’t make you immune to terfism it has seeped into every corner of mainstream feminism and unless you’re actively searching it out and checking your own biases you will always be at risk of sharing a space with terfs

[mjfass]

Another spot nobody forced the Bucks to do

[mjfass]

[rickrude]

[angelicguy]

i bet girls hated it in 1902 cuz you would constantly go on dates w guys who are working on an invention to present at the world fair

[mrfunnyinthebank]

the larger piece is entitled Samoa Joe Has Been Voted Sexiest Man Alive For The Twentieth Year In A Row and has this text on it in braille, which I wrote (by hand):

The champ is here – the 25 year old world champion rests in the corner of the barricade, glistening with sweat. The competitor in the two-toned trunks is billed at 6'2" 270 lbs. His wrist tape is white, for now.

His lips are parted and his thighs are spread in his squatting position, elbows resting on the barricade walls. His mid-thigh trunks ride up. the lights in the high school gymnasium bounce off the shiny fabric.

The wrestler shaves everything below his eyebrows, which are thick. The dark hair on his head is thick and full as well, cut respectably yet fashionably short. His eyelids are shiny with sweat, resembling the glitter of eyeshadow.

14 months, 19 men, and none of them get it done. CM Punk thinks he can take the belt tonight, but he is sadly mistaken. Samoa Joe is professional wrestling, and he cannot be beat.

the smaller piece is entitled That Fat Ass Samoa Joe and has this text on it in braille, quoting the Big Bad Booty Daddy Big Poppa Pump and Lauren Thompson in the Steiner Math promo:

See, but I'm gonna break it down for all you ladies: would you rather be with me? Or would you rather be with Joe?

"Well, I think Joe's kinda nice, I mean, y'know..."

See, you're one of those girls that like romance. I'mma talk to all my freaks out there. Would you rather come home to me, a genetic freak, to be satisfied every night? Or go home to that fat ass Samoa Joe?

[mrfunnyinthebank]

the larger piece is entitled Samoa Joe Has Been Voted Sexiest Man Alive For The Twentieth Year In A Row and has this text on it in braille, which I wrote (by hand):

The champ is here – the 25 year old world champion rests in the corner of the barricade, glistening with sweat. The competitor in the two-toned trunks is billed at 6'2" 270 lbs. His wrist tape is white, for now.

His lips are parted and his thighs are spread in his squatting position, elbows resting on the barricade walls. His mid-thigh trunks ride up. the lights in the high school gymnasium bounce off the shiny fabric.

The wrestler shaves everything below his eyebrows, which are thick. The dark hair on his head is thick and full as well, cut respectably yet fashionably short. His eyelids are shiny with sweat, resembling the glitter of eyeshadow.

14 months, 19 men, and none of them get it done. CM Punk thinks he can take the belt tonight, but he is sadly mistaken. Samoa Joe is professional wrestling, and he cannot be beat.

the smaller piece is entitled That Fat Ass Samoa Joe and has this text on it in braille, quoting the Big Bad Booty Daddy Big Poppa Pump and Lauren Thompson in the Steiner Math promo:

See, but I'm gonna break it down for all you ladies: would you rather be with me? Or would you rather be with Joe?

"Well, I think Joe's kinda nice, I mean, y'know..."

See, you're one of those girls that like romance. I'mma talk to all my freaks out there. Would you rather come home to me, a genetic freak, to be satisfied every night? Or go home to that fat ass Samoa Joe?