Knight Spectre

it/its, 18+, bad at staying in character. My main is @gremlinservant, I do not post anything related to knights there.

[daveedmee]

explosion at health potion factory 0 dead 0 injured

[noah-jumble]

He´s own sun

[yapping-princess]

I don't have the patience to tease you right now, you will obey and you will bend. I am your sun and moon and guiding star. I am the very gravity that tethers you. You forget your place -- how dare you reach for your blade. How dare you threaten me! I am the one who gives you your orders, am I not? Are you not an extension of my wishes? You swore an oath to me, and when you did, you gave all of yourself to me.

To the crown? Perhaps you've forgotten that I am the crown, and the crown is me.

Stay still. I will disarm you. You don't deserve to have weapons when you dare even consider wielding them in my direction.

I'll remove your helmet too, expose the most fragile part of you. You may keep the rest of your armour on. I don't feel like taking it off -- if you find it is difficult to complete these tasks, perhaps you should have held your tongue earlier. Perhaps you should not have reached so quickly for that sword of yours.

Now kneel. Lower.

To the ground, dog. Is the press of my heel in your cheek uncomfortable? Tough.

Now apologize for your insolence.

...

I said apologize.

Good, that's better. It's good you can still learn... it's become apparent I have much to teach you.

Yes, Sir Knight. You may kiss my hand.

Oh, you want me to say that you're a good boy? Earn my praise then -- show me your mouth has use beyond talking back.

[lavenderpr1nce]

Guards! GUARDS! This fiend has made an attempt on my life! Take it to the dungeons immediately!

*It's a singular earwig. On the ground. Blocking the exit to the bathroom*

[mrknightside]

To the bug dungeon or the people dungeon, sir? Or have it switch between them?

[lavenderpr1nce]

It matters not where you put it as long as you get the foul little thing out of my sight.

...though it should probably go in the bug dungeon lest it slip through the bars of the normal one.

[mrknightside]

🗑🪲🤏 taking it to the bug dungeon, sir.

[your-kneeling-knight]

Knight getting older… knight with a bit of grey coming in… knight who finds it a little harder to put on his armour and walk the castle… knight with old battle injuries and faded scars

[basicbascinet]

Alright guys, we are ready to rehome this knight we rescued.

This fellow may seem broody at first, but that's only because they're a bit shy. Give them some time and you'll see they can be very social and affectionate. They get along great with other knights. We haven't had the opportunity to test how well they do with jesters, wizards and advisors, but we think they'd do fine with the right introductions. Their favorite activities are jousts and harp-playing. We are sending him home with their favorite horse and pole axe as endowments.

We are looking for responsible lieges with spacious, safe castles, so if you fit the bill, leave us a message. As per our standards, they've already been fully vaccinated and dewormed.

[lavenderpr1nce]

Guards! GUARDS! This fiend has made an attempt on my life! Take it to the dungeons immediately!

*It's a singular earwig. On the ground. Blocking the exit to the bathroom*

[mrknightside]

To the bug dungeon or the people dungeon, sir? Or have it switch between them?

[rosieandthemoon]

[celluzu]

"You're losing blood" no I know exactly where it is. The floor. Don't ever underestimate me.

[sun-yearning]

"Sire you can't keep petting your knight's head when they kneel before you—" their tail is literally wagging what else am I meant to do??

[jester-of-hearts]

running around and petting all of the hounds heads before knight fall is actually in the jester's job description—so it's a necessity

[hopethesillyheartwitch]

Cannibalism as a metaphor for toxic relationships/codependency? Is this thing on? Can anyone hear me?

[blanchebees]

Pride month begins with gay knights

Tip jar

[mrknightside]

Knight who disagrees with its liege on basic human rights ("my liege, the people cannot live on 2 gold a month") but said liege is actively dying while saying this bullshit and the knight KNOWS the heir will be better. But the liege isn't dying fast enough, so it's stuck nodding and praying for patience

[medievalsquire]

my knight says he fights for honor but he also cheats at cards constantly

[mrknightside]

Yeah, well, losing isn't honorable, and how can I fight for honor if I lose?

[medievalsquire]

my knight says he fights for honor but he also cheats at cards constantly

[mrknightside]

Yeah, well, losing isn't honorable, and how can I fight for honor if I lose?

[mold-wizard]

If it looks like a duck, swims like a duck, and quacks like a duck, it might be one of those adventurers who broke into my wizard tower yesterday, 'cause yeah, I turned 'em all into ducks.

[mrknightside]

Ran to draw this

[gauntlyt]

princessussy. that's it that's the post

[gauntlyt]

oh I see. if I post about #knightknob it's coins tossed left and right, my coffer and goblet overfloweth, on and on. but no one wants the bard to make mention of the humble princessussy hm? no patronage for Her Highnessussy?