[wornd]

the art of getting by (2011)

[mrphln]

graze

[mrphln]

i still have off days but honestly, i’ve never felt happier and healthier than i do now. sometimes they’re enough to make me want to live. and make plans. and look forward to things.

this year, i’m rooting for myself.

[neckkiss]

“The Breakfast Club”

[mrphln]

i really hate being home like fuck my body image issues are getting so bad

[mrphln]

ma’am i want my sanity back

[danger]

[mrphln]

sigh

[mrphln]

medschoolmakesmewantto****myself

[mrphln]

gusto kong umiyak pero sayang oras?????? nakakapagod na rin mag-explain bakit nakakapagod mag-aral tanginang online classes kmn pls

[mrphln]

it's not a concrete, linear thing.

[thecalminside]

“That is the simple secret of happiness. Whatever you are doing, don’t let past move your mind; don’t let future disturb you. Because the past is no more, and the future is not yet. To live in the memories, to live in the imagination, is to live in the non-existential. And when you are living in the non-existential, you are missing that which is existential. Naturally you will be miserable, because you will miss your whole life.”

Osho

[mrphln]

[mrphln]

more than angry, i am scared.

because soon enough it's going to be people you know. people close to you.

and still, you will be powerless.

[mrphln]

i really cant get myself to study for more than 5 minutes without feeling the heaviness of everything that’s going on. suddenly i’m angry.

but i waste so much time being angry that i hate myself when i see how much everyone else has studied. unbothered. 

i hate myself.

i hate myself.

[mrphln]

i dont know what the worlds gonna look like in a day or two. cant see it from my bedroom window.

is it going to make a difference? or at least enough of a difference to actually stir things up and begin the ripple of change? sometimes i feel like no matter how hard people try to resist, it's all futile because the choice isnt given to us in the first place.

i just cant get myself to worry about the senseless things as much as i try to distract myself? its all bearing down on me - it being the uncertainty of what will happen later, in a day or two. it's just a really weird feeling i guess cause we never had to think about tomorrow being so different from today.

but now, things are changing way too quickly.

it's so easy to get distracted with dumb memes and instagram posts and on some days i kind of wish i were, instead of feeling everything but still helpless.

on another note, i know that me being able to lie in bed and be angry and be frustrated is a privilege in itself because i dont have to worry where we'll get the food to sustain ourselves for the next two days. im sitting comfortably with two fucking wifi connections in an air conditioned room. somehow it feels like i'm not in the place to be so disheartened about it because all the worrying to me are just... concepts and theories and ideas. the experiences are not mine. somehow this also makes me feel bad.

[booklover]

“My mission, should I choose to accept it, is to find peace with exactly who and what I am. To take pride in my thoughts, my appearance, my talents, my flaws and to stop this incessant worrying that I can’t be loved as I am.”

— Anaïs Nin  (via thequotejournals)