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[mrrainbowpeanut]

How terrible, that the thought of wanting to live scares me more than death.

[mrrainbowpeanut]

I'm tired of people saying "I'm here to help," like the only thing that matters is me being able to function. What I want them to say is "I'm here for you," because that means I can go to them when I'm feeling down for comfort without being pressured to get better ASAP.

[mrrainbowpeanut]

Sometimes I wish people would see just how much pain I'm in, and lock me up so I can't hurt myself. I am so close to ending it all.

[mrrainbowpeanut]

Mixed feelings...

I can't be bothered most times when I'm out-and-about and get misgendered. I've accepted that, given how feminine I present myself to be, I'll almost always be misgendered. The problem is when I'm not particularly feminine; when I'm not wearing heels or makeup and haven't shaved for a few days. What exactly makes me look like a woman? Is it my hair? My face structure? The way I 'hold' myself? And then there's the times my friend's mum misgenders me. I get it, I was first introduced to her as a girl, but that was 3 years ago, and we see each other every week. It's not like she could forget. I just... it's kinda... disappointing.

[mrrainbowpeanut]

I love just suddenly remembering people I used to date/ people I nearly dated. Especially since they kept in contact with me for a long time and would just randomly start up a conversation with me. Like, those people genuinely liked me and wanted to be with me, but I felt nothing like that for them. And now I wonder what would happen if I started talking to them again. Do they still have feelings for the idea of the person I used to be? Or do they scorn me, disgusted with the person I really am? Just random thoughts I had.

[mrrainbowpeanut]

Wow. I know people have said Sweeney Todd is basically Depp killing the cast of HP, but now watching it…

[mrrainbowpeanut]

... it is really a fucked up movie. Like what the fuck. I love it. But what the fuck.

[mrrainbowpeanut]

Wow. I know people have said Sweeney Todd is basically Depp killing the cast of HP, but now watching it...

[mrrainbowpeanut]

Okay, question.

How to I get myself a boyfriend when the only times I leave the house are for (1) Church with old people, (2) extra classes, and (3) to hang at my friend's house...? And let's keep in mind that when I'm at those extra classes I sit alone in the front row and only talk to the teacher.

[mrrainbowpeanut]

Fun update!

I got my lip pierced Thursday night. Spider bite on my left. No pain, minimal swelling, and it looks fucking neat.

[mrrainbowpeanut]

What the fuck Victoria!? Why do I need a penis to be a man?? What sort of logic says that I must be sterile to be recognised as a man?!??

[mrrainbowpeanut]

I am absolutely living for the relationship between Magnus and Alec. Love it!

[mrrainbowpeanut]

Dear lord. Magnus flirting with Alec is so cringey. I love it.

[mrrainbowpeanut]

I don't like the Mortal Instruments all that much, but dear lord Magnus is my life. He is lit the only reason I've started watching Shadow Hunters, and yah, he is lit.

[mrrainbowpeanut]

So I'm behind on updates, but who gives a fuck. I made dark chocolate and coconut fudge yesterday, and today I made a cookie dough tart, and tomorrow I'm gonna make an apple crumble cake.

[mrrainbowpeanut]

Found the above posts on Facebook and thought I'd add my own input (the drawing). But seriously. Crossing cultures and time periods has got to have a limit... [that said, I like fedoras]

[22psyduck]

gays are gonna make crocs cool. you heard it here first

[mrrainbowpeanut]

Crocs have always been cool. I refuse to acknowledge otherwise. I own three pairs, and fuck the haters.

[mrrainbowpeanut]

I love it when I have an identity crisis. I mean, I know I'm male, but I'm also a fucking babe.