Mrs. Red Bowler Hat

I'm 17 and I have this little fancy dream of being a writer. I write with two things honesty and ambiguity.

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Lack of Motivation or Tired Inspiration

I started this term with my spirits help up higher than the eiffel tower, and now it seems like a big slump has taken over me. What happened and when did it start? I know this happens to everyone regardless of age or profession but knowing that doesn't make me feel at ease not one bit. See that's the thing with older people telling me its okay to feel like a complete shit like crumpled paper, pardon my language. You're not going to be okay, just because everyone is feeling the same thing as what you're feeling. I feel like your depriving yourself the truth, the need to know the truth is very important for fear is gone once you know the truth. Did that make sense? Well it did in my head.

Everything was slow, real slow. Too slow enough to be considered real. And now I stare at my computer screen wondering if it would talk back to me and say how meticulously pitiful I seem for my age. I'm now watching "the art of getting by" and I'm only watching this because I do not want to do my algebra homework. Its pretty good. Why can't life ever be as good as the movies? Are we too sedated to experience thrill (such as doing stuffs) maybe without getting caught in our senses? or maybe movies are outtakes of life in totality?

See they're not meant to exist in real life, movies are beautiful for the reason that we are forever subjected to looking at beauty in a distance. Close enough to taste but I still can't touch. Maybe thats the thrill, looking something from a distance is the beauty and not the plots and scenes used in the movies. This post has been the most loosely-directed post I've ever made. I wanted to find myself. Who doesn't? Who really doesn't?

I'm disappointed on how the world turned out for me, not necessarily how I planned but I guess thats what reality does to you. It screws you up the way other people screwed it up. The inevitable search for myself will be a conquest that'll never end. 

Wow, the most randomest post ever. Sorry I had to. 

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Yay or Nay?: Cybercrime Bill

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This picture makes me look fat and it just gets me in all my wrong angles but oh well, here I post "my bestfruuuuuuun" we have been like bestfriends for almost 6 years now ever since we were in high school and we've been through so much together like I can't even count it since I can't remember some of them. It all started when we were seatmates in our history class and JUST LIKE THAT we started teasing each other and writing on each other's arm (eww that sounded like some kind of flirationship going on, but its not.) And ever since then we were literally stuck like nutella on a bread. 

People say we're opposites like north and south but then again I think those are one of the 'bestest' combinations ever because up until now even though we don't see each other too much since we go in different schools we still manage to talk like the way we were back in high school and I think thats too awesome

Do check out her site, she's too awesome of a photographer for you not to love her work. Denise's site: http://laconquetedereves.tumblr.com/

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"Di ka naman yayaman sa puro kaka-aral eh." (No one ever becomes rich in continuously studying.)

-Hi! Comalge classmate

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Aww pumpkin.. Will it make you feel any better if told you that I was once homeless? Though it wasn't for too long a period, it was long enough. Enough to make me work so hard that I vowed to never allow myself to be in that situation again. The first opportunity I got, I didn't just run with it, I flew with it. Working 12 hrs a day, 48 days straight between 2 different jobs. Then I learned to work smarter, not harder. ;)

HouseofHaute at youtube

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Staple accessories in my wardrobe. Yay! for getting dad's old watches. 

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I cannot stop my intense school spirit right now. ATENEO VS LA SALLE. This is more than just a game, its like an occasion in which every animo spirit comes together in unity. One of the most 'awe moments' I consider in my life. 

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Take them as they are.

Everything's a struggle, I mean everything. Even when they cover themselves with paints of beautiful colors at the end of the day they ARE and WILL always disappoint you but you can change that do not give them control. Nothing is constant, nothing. At the end of the day, all you have is YOU. Thats the thing you know, people are programmed to do something because they're imperfect and thats something you will always have to deal with. 

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I really have to learn to be on my own.

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An overview of what my weekend looked like.

DISCLAIMER: When you see my study table, you'd see a bunch of post-its saying random encouraging quotes. 

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The weekend update!

No it wasn't a party or dinner with friends or even an amazing food venture. It was all about three papers due +  1 law exam + 2 literature readings + accounting homework + algebra homework, talk about an exciting weekend. (*insert sarcasm emoticon here). It wasn't really that special of a weekend but I was glad I did finish almost 80% of the work so for an average lazy-ass student like me that was an accomplishment. (*insert applause here)

I just wanted to update this blog because it seems like its been forever since I wrote something completely nonsense. So I downloaded three movies to keep me entertained while I was doing like my school works, "One for the money" where katherine Heigl starred in, "Devil wears Prada" just because I needed a movie that will not disappoint me. Thinking that DVP came out like 2006 scared the shit out of me, not in the horrific kind of way but more in the holy-jeezus-I-cannot-believe-I'm-that-old kinda way. The last one was actually soul surfer, that was really heartwarming I can't even shut myself up because I was like commenting on how everything was depicted. By the latter part of sunday just had dinner at home with the family, and then went back to studying again. Surprisingly, I am now ending my sunday night by watching some kind of Juan Ponce Enrile documentary its really good a bit biased but I guess its time to show the other side of JPE. 

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I hate to say this but the best kid shows were the one shown in the 90s. Technology is too awesome right now since I get to watch them full on on youtube. 

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When is it my turn to fall in love?

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The Urge of being better than others.

The ugly reality is that facebook seems to be the place where everyone whose anyone dumps their 'happy and blissful' life in there. Down right with the photos, statuses and even credentials. Sadly I have to say I'm one of them and I hate it so much.

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I'm self-destructive

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First school week!

So many mixed emotions this first week of school to be honest, I had too many stories I needed to tell them to my “blockmates” but it felt like time was against us since we only had an hour or two to get together. Gosh I miss them! So I’m officially now COB or College of Business, so happy! Some classes felt too dreadful since the professors were considered as the terror ones in their department, I wanted to adjust and everything but I guess the line was too long and there was no assurance I could actually go in the class that I wanted so I didn’t bother. 

First week was overwhelming, profs were handing out their projects left and right and the sad part is that my floating subjects (the chill ones) didn’t seem so petiks because they demanded too much in my opinion. But nevertheless I love the fact that I’m always moving and doing some sort of work, now its time for me to form new study habits.

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"I screwed up. Fuck I really did like him though. I just didn't get the chance to send the right message."