The room was silent. Nobody had moved and no words had been spoken of for a while now. Not even Rileyās uneasy breathing was loud enough for Lucas to hear.
The periwinkle blue walls were melting as the sheer curtains danced with tremor. The sky outside the bay window cast low and gloomy, one drop of water slowly crashing down, leading the next like a chain reaction.
Lucas had one leg bent, touching the frame of the window, while the other laid out, stiff and tingly because it had fallen asleep. His back rested on the wall, as he fiddled with his fingers. His intense green eyes watched the rain fall, bouncing onto the concrete floor of the fire escape outside.
The vine leaves that wrapped itself around the fence hung heavy with sorrow, causing Lucas to close his eyes in a grimace.
Riley was tense, her heart was beating irregularly, and although she didnāt want Lucas to know what she felt, it was obvious that she wasnāt okay. Every word he said replayed over and over, her ideas of what happened infiltrated her mind which caused her to cringeā eyes squeezing shut and lips flattened tight, trying to make it stop. It felt like a nightmare.
Lucas noticed her uneasy state, slowly reaching to grab her hand as an attempt to soothe her. It only made her jump and push his hand back towards him. Her reaction hurt Lucas, tearing him up more than he already was. He was broken while she was falling to pieces.
Her mind was going in circles. She was torn apart, knowing that for so long that Lucas struggled to keep this behind him. Lucas had bottled this secret for what felt like an eternity. He regrets everything that happened that day. He was tired of the constant subtle reminders of his past.
Meeting Riley had changed him for the better. He often considered that moving was good for him and that he was better off. But even now, Riley couldnāt soothe him, as she tried so hard to absorb everything he had told her. Still, she was struggling to understand what caused him to lose his temper.
It took Lucas months to change who he was, but even the slightest of things triggered him. He was tired of reminiscing. He was also tired of being regretful. Ā However, Riley made this process easier on his end.
āThatās not who I am anymore,ā Lucas said, more to himself than Riley. He tried to remind himself that every day, but he knew that he could never go back and fix his mistakes.
He was a mess. He was scared; it was scary to think that something similar to what triggered him in the past can cause damage. He was afraid to push Riley away because of this detrimental secret he kept.
He slid his body closer to the wall of the bay window, which Riley had sensed when she reopened her eyes and turned her head to look at him. Rileyās then pained facial expression changed into something that was more of a concerned expression. She was scared that she had lost Lucas.
Riley turned to him. He was almost stuck in a trance now. He had leaned forward, elbows on knees as his palms mirrored each other. He had become detached. Everything was haunting him. His memory kept getting stuck at the part he last remembered before everything faded out. It stopped playing, like when a record player gets stuck at the same part of but tries to go forward again.
Riley stood up from the bay window, walking over to her bed. She picked up Lucasā jacket that he carelessly tossed on his way in from the living room of the Matthewsā apartment. It was the first time in a long time he walked through the door without notice. He desperately needed to speak to Riley. It was something he could not explain in a text message or even during a phone call.
Cory opened the door for him. When he saw the look on Lucasās face, he knew it was serious, letting Lucas come in with ease. Even Topanga was worried as she greeted Lucas. He returned a rushed āhelloā as he quickly ran into Rileyās room, shutting the door behind him. And now, Lucas sits on Rileyās bay window seat, still with his elbows resting on his knees and his face hiding in his hands.
He was contemplating if he should leave Riley now or if he should wait around, hoping that she would say something. Riley sat next to him with his jacket loosely resting on her shoulders. She leaned her head on his shoulder like she would with Maya. Lucas had lifted her chin, looking for hope in her warm, brown orbs. Though sad, her eyes still contained that sparkle that Lucas had fallen for. Ā
āPromise me that you would never give up on me, even after everything I told you.ā He told her, even though it seemed like he was begging her.
A tear slowly rolled down her cheek. She hated to see Lucas in pain or hurt, even though he somehow managed to smile all the time. She does not understand that sheās the reason that he became so strong, and for him to break down like this is hard for him to do. Rileyās heart broke seeing Lucas in such a state.
'Iām in love with you, Rileyā was what he wanted to tell her but he was too hurt to even see tears stream down her face. He let go of her chin, tears of his own tears rolling down his face. This was the first time he has cried in front of anyone in such a long time. However, it was the first time he broke down crying in front of Riley. Ā
āLucas, look at me,ā She whispered as she gently pulled him to face her.
He refused her command but accepted her warm touch as she placed her palms onto his cheeks, slowly turning his head towards her.
āFor the longest time Iāve known you, Iāve known that you were someone I really liked.ā She started, āAnd today, as we sit at this bay window, I still like you.ā
She stared into his weepy eyes and right through his hurting soul. She inched closer, āNo matter who you were in Texas and no matter who you are in New York, I will ALWAYS like you.ā
She paused. She searched for a response. Lucasās eyes jumped back and forth between her eyes to her lips, poking at the temptation of kissing her. He watched as she took a breath before speaking again.
āWhat people define you as will never affect me because I know who MY Lucas Friar is and I love him,ā Another tear rolled down her cheek, āAnd if you think pushing me away saves me from what you did, itās not going to work. Please stay, Lucas. I donāt want you to leave just to keep me from getting hurt. We canāt change the past, but we can work on the present and dream for the future. I promise you that your mistakes only make you strongerā it makes us stronger.ā
Riley searched for hope in his eyes again to see if what she said had any effect on him, while he kept resisting his ache for her lips.
āI will ALWAYS like you, Lucas.ā āIt makes us stronger.ā āI love you, Lucas.āĀ Her words replayed over and over and over again as her lips were only centimeters apart. Lucas gently grabs her face with his two hands, pressing his lips onto hers. At first, it was just a normal kiss. However, as he got more, he became kind of desperate to find confirmation from her through kissing him back
"I love you, Riley,ā He smiled, āAnd Iāll always stay. I promise.ā
He looked at her for a while, before she held up her pinky.
āI love you,ā she replied, as wrapped his pinky around hers.
Riley gave him a reassuring smile and adjusted her head as Lucas allowed her to lean her head on his shoulder and intertwine their fingers together.
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