WTF: Why Does My Child Say “Curse Words” Clearly but Struggle with Other Words?
Why Does My Child Say “Curse Words” Clearly but Struggle with Other Words?
Parents often ask why their child can say a curse word like "fuck" with perfect clarity, but struggles to tell them they had "fun" with their "friends" or describe "food" at mealtime. This often comes down to how the brain handles different types of speech, particularly for children with language processing or motor speech challenges.
Volitional vs. Non-Volitional Speech
Speech can be divided into two categories: volitional and non-volitional
- Non-volitional speech is automatic. It comes out without much conscious effort, often tied to emotions or habit. Think of a time when you stubbed your toe and a curse word slipped out before you even realized it—that’s non-volitional. Children, especially those who process language in chunks or "gestalts," often find it easier to say emotionally charged or familiar phrases because these are learned as whole units.
- Volitional speech on the other hand, requires conscious thought and planning. It’s when your child has to actively think about what they want to say, organize their thoughts, and then motorically produce the words. For example, describing "fun" at school, saying "food is good," or talking about "friends" involves volitional speech.
"Islands of Clear Speech" in Motor Speech Disorders
Children with motor speech disorders are often described as having "islands of clear speech." This refers to moments when they suddenly produce a word or phrase very clearly. This usually happens when they’re using non-volitional speech—automatic, familiar, or emotionally charged words that come out effortlessly. Meanwhile, volitional speech, like saying new or less familiar words, demands more precise motor planning and control, which can be much harder for these children.
Why Curse Words Are Easier
In many cases, curse words are tied to strong emotions like frustration or excitement, which can make them easier to say. These words or phrases are often learned in chunks as a whole, meaning they don’t require the child to break them down into individual sounds or words. This can be especially true for children who are gestalt language processors, who often learn and use language in larger, more automatic pieces before they develop the ability to break down language into smaller, more intentional parts.
The Challenge of "F" Sounds
Words like "fun," "food," and "friends" require more effort for a few reasons. First, they involve volitional speech, meaning your child has to consciously plan and organize their words. Second, these words start with the "f" sound, which requires **articulatory precision**—bringing the lower lip to the upper teeth and controlling airflow. This type of motor control can be tricky, especially when trying to piece together new or less familiar words.
3 Easy Tips for Parents
1. Model short phrases: Use simple, functional phrases like "I had fun" or "food is good" in everyday conversation. This helps your child absorb new gestalts.
2. Use visual cues: Show pictures of food, activities, or friends while labeling them. This reduces the speech load and helps connect language with meaning.
3. Make it natural: Rather than quizzing your child, provide casual opportunities to talk about things they enjoy, like during playtime or mealtime. This reduces pressure and makes practicing language feel fun.
Understanding the difference between volitional and non-volitional speech, along with recognizing how your child processes language, can help guide your approach in supporting their communication skills.
Here are some gestalt phrases for each word that encourage kids to talk about their experiences:
Fun:
1. "That was so much fun!"
2. "I had a great time!"
3. "Let’s do it again!"
4. "That made me so happy!"
5. "I love doing that!"
Friends:
1. "I played with my friend."
2. "We had so much fun together!"
3. "My friend is so nice!"
4. "I like being with my friend."
5. "I want to play with them again!"
Food:
1. "This food is yummy!"
2. "I like this snack."
3. "That tastes so good!"
4. "Can I have more, please?"
5. "This is my favorite!"
These easy-to-use phrases help kids express enjoyment, socialize, and talk about their favorite foods in a way that feels natural and engaging.