There are so many different ways to contribute beyond going to work. Every time you're kind to someone, you're contributing. Every time you create something - anything - you're contributing. Every time you share your knowledge and experiences with other people, you're contributing. Every time you advocate for something or someone, you're contributing. Every time you make someone feel heard, validated and supported, you're contributing. Every time you make someone laugh or smile, you're contributing. Every time you help someone out or do someone a favor, you're contributing. So don't let anyone tell you that working a job is the only valid way to contribute to society - cause that's a lie.
The amount of time I restarted this fic is insane. It was going to be Isaac, realized Faust fit better, but Isaac deserves smut but he'd be so ooc. So here we are with Faust, it's still a little ooc but you can deal.
Anyway. It's a modern au. I don't wanna give away the plot twist but the ending is funny. Trust me
You lay in bed, swiping on your phone. Swiping left on guy after guy after guy. Why is there no one cute in your area? Where did they all go for summer break?
You finally get to a guy that makes you stop. You look through his pictures. Wow he's hot. A little older than you but you're looking for a hook up, so what does that matter. You barely think twice about swiping right. You don't match immediately and so you swipe through some more guys before eventually falling asleep.
The next morning when you wake up, you start going through your notifications. Most of them are unimportant and clear them. You see that you have a match and a message.
You open it to see that it's the guy you liked last night. Johann. He sent you a message, you're sure it's some cheesy pick up line and you aren't wrong.
'That outfit of yours is cute, but it would be much better on my floor.'
You can't help but chuckle a little. It might be early but you're okay with starting the day with some flirting.
'You'd look much better on me instead.'
You continue to go through your phone, seeing what you missed before you get out of bed and start going about your day.
It was a few hours later before you got a reply. You honestly weren't expecting anything in return. Most guys want something that night and by morning are over it and unmatched.
But instead you got a message.
'I know something else of mine that would look good on you~'
You think for a moment before figuring out what to send back.
'Your lips can go where they want. But I think your hands would make a pretty necklace'
Then the messages come faster and by late afternoon you are doing nothing but flirting with each other.
'Why don't you come over tonight so we can actually have some fun~'
You pause. Do you really want to go straight to his house? You know nothing about him. You can't even say you've talked to him for a day, you've just been flirting. Would that be safe?
That's what you would be thinking if the two of you didn't start exchanging nudes an hour ago. Seeing his erect cock got you feeling a type of way. A good type of way.
Damn you're so needy. You've been lonely for just a little too long to think of any consequences and agree to his offer. You couldn't have him come to your place. It's small.. and a disaster. You clearly look like a broke college student.
You look up the address he sent you to see what the area looked like. It seemed nice. It was a nice house, and pretty close to you.
'I'll be over soon~'
You change your clothes into something nicer looking and head over.
It didn't take long for you to be knocking on his front door. You are standing on the porch a little nervous. Hook ups are nothing new to you, but you really hope he's as hot as he is in his photos.
The door opens and a tall man opens the door. That's him alright. Wow he's hotter in real life.
"...damn you're hot."
"I could say the same thing about you," he pulls you inside, closing the door behind you. You can't believe you said that out loud.
"Did you find the place alright?" he already has an arm around you.
"Yeah," you slip your shoes off, immediately shrinking a few inches. You look back up at him. Damn. How is he hotter now that your shorter?
With your head up he kisses you. You came for a reason, and it wasn't to necessarily get to know each other. Maybe each other's bodies, but if you don't learn a thing about the other by the end of the night that's fine.
You kiss him back, which only causes him to kiss you harder. You moan and turn your body to face him. As your hands went up his shirt to feel him, his hands went behind you to grab your ass.
Encouraging him, you press your body against him. In a swift motion he picks you up, keeping a firm grip on your ass. Your arms move to hold onto him by his shoulders while your legs wrap around his waist.
As he carries you to his bedroom, you take the opportunity to try to get some moans out of him by kissing his neck.
Just as he started to moan for you he drops you on his bed, immediately taking his shirt off.
"Is there anything I shouldn't do to you?" He tossed his shirt to the side
You almost don't hear him. How did you luck out with a guy so hot. Since you don't answer he leans down, grabbing your jaw to make you look at him.
"If you don't answer I'll just use you how I like."
You feel your cheeks flush. Oh god. That's a dream. But maybe you shouldn't agree to that since you have just met him.
"Make me your personal fuck toy."
Definitely not what you should have said.
He smirks and lets you go. "That's what I like to hear."
You quickly start taking your shirt off. Once it's over your head he pushes you onto your back and starts to yank your pants down to your ankles. You move further back onto the bed and slip out of your underwear.
As you are taking your bra off you hear his belt being undone. Something about that sound gets you excited. With your bra to the side he gets on top of you, grabbing your hands so that he can tie your wrists together with his belt.
He does it so quickly that you swear he does this all the time. He sets his glasses to the side before going further down on the bed, almost laying down.
As your legs are being spread open you look down, seeing his face between your thighs. With your legs over his shoulders, you get a good glimpse of his bright green eyes before you shut yours with a gasp.
His tongue slid its way into you. You were already wet with anticipation but now you are leaking into your tongue. He's treating you as a meal, lapping you up and getting his tongue as deep in you as he possibly can.
It isn't long before you're squirming. His hands grip your hips tightly, keeping you down on the bed. He nibbles you a bit, teasing you with teeth. Feeling you jump only causes him to do it again. Your thighs try to close, as if you want him to stop, but you really don't want it to end.
Letting go with one hand, he starts to rub your clit, going in circles.
"Ahh-hh no!" You moan louder and squirm in a way that it seems like you are trying to roll over. Once he starts rubbing you, it doesn't take much to cover his tongue in your cum.
You try to look down at him, to catch a glimpse of his eyes. When you make contact with his, he looks like he's going to go feral. This is what you wanted after all.
"If you're going to be my fuck toy, let's flip you over."
He doesn't give you the option to roll over yourself. He sat up, grabbed you, and flipped you himself. You could help but moan. He even moved you so that your ass was in the air.
His hands grabbed your ass and rubbed it roughly, getting you to moan again. You could feel his hard tip pressed against you and whined. You've been waiting for this all day and now he's right there. You try to move back to get him to slip inside.
He chuckles. "Well I'd you're that eager."
He smirks and pushes his whole length inside you. He was going to ease himself in, but since you're so impatient.
"Ahh-!"
You bury your face into the bed and pull at your restraints.
"Don't be shy now."
He reaches up, grabbing a fist full of your hair and pulling it back.
"I want to hear what kinds of noises my new toy makes."
His voice is in a low growl, though your moans it can be hard to hear but each word gets you wetter.
His hips pull back before snapping back into you, getting you to yelp.
"Good girl," he praises you as he starts to thrust into you at a regular pace, making sure his full length enters you. "You're so tight and yet you can fit all of me," he pulls your hair more to hear you yell.
You try to prop yourself up on your tied up hands as he pulls your hair more and more.
"And you just keep getting wetter," he teased, his cock being able to slide in and out of you faster.
He doesn't seem to hold back with how hard he thrusts into you. One hand isn't enough to keep your hips in place and your legs start slipping.
Faust lets your hair go, making you fall forward. Without losing momentum, he fixes your hips and presses down on your upper back, forcing your face into the bed.
Your hair is in your face, your hot breath hitting you back. Your body is squirming again. With your hips at a new angle his cock is hitting a new spot, getting you to cum again nearly immediately.
"You're a perfect toy," he grunts a little, still going despite you tightening around him. "You take me with no complaints," he pushes you down harder as he pounds into you rougher.
"Ungh-ahhh! F-fuck!" You pant, barely able to get out words.
He feels himself starting to get closer, but he stays in you for as long as he can. His thrusts are getting out of rhythm. Finally he pulls out of you, making a trail of cum down your back.
He tries to catch his breath for a moment before helping you lay your body flat on his bed so that he can grab something to clean you up.
As he steps away you try to push your hair out of your face. In a few moments your back is cleaned, your hands are freed, and you're laying there with your head on his chest.
~~
For the rest of the summer your hook ups became nearly a regular thing. You don't plan on keeping it once the summer ends so you don't end up getting to know each other much. You're there for a hook up, no strings attached.
Or so you thought.
Your college classes start again. It's the first week of the semester and you're looking over your schedule.
"Ugh. My schedule is awful. I already can't wait for this to be over."
You head to your next class. It's a lecture hall. You already know it's going to be one you're going to fall asleep in.
You walk into the class and look for a place to sit when you look at the front to get a look at the teacher.
Shit. No. He can't possibly be the teacher.
"Johann?"
Faust looks up from the papers he's looking at to see who called his name and makes eye contact with you.
@roach-works // Melissa Broder, "Problem Area" // Mary Oliver, "The Return" // @annavonsyfert // Koyoharu Gotouge, Demon Slayer // Haruki Murakami, Dance Dance Dance // David Levithan, How They Met and Other Stories // Tennessee Williams, Notebooks
One of the weirdest thing about growing up suicidal is that you assume you have no future, you donât even try to envision it because you see no point. So eventually, you start assuming everyone else sees nothing in your future either. Recently, my friend and I were talking and she said something about how at her wedding I could wear a suit or a dress as long as it matched her bridesmaidâs dresses because the butler of honor has to make a good impression. This hit me so hard because I had never realized before how other people thought about me. She said it so casually like it wasnât even a hard decision, just a given fact. She loves me so much she saw me at her wedding, standing with her on one of the most important days of her life. And you know what? There are so many people who think about you that way. If that isnât proof that you should keep going I donât know what is.
This is called a sense of foreshortened future and it is also very common in traumatized people, particularly in cases involving long-term abuse or the death of a loved one.
This post is making the rounds again so I wanted to add an update. I kept going, despite all of the times it felt impossible. It was absolutely worth it. I struggled for many years with this feeling, and even when not actively wishing to die I often just assumed my life would end.
I wrote a digital time capsule when I was 14, about the same time I made this post. I described what I wished I could have one day but felt like it would never happen. It was simple, my own place, potted plants, a cat. Itâs been seven years and I have everything I wanted and so much more. I have a job I love, a partner who lights up my world, best friends I see every day, and Iâm about to finish my bachelorâs and start my masterâs degree. I have this life I am so grateful for because instead of succumbing to this feeling of nothingness, I decided if there was nothing I would make something to replace it.
Make plans for yourself, even if you donât believe theyâll happen make them anyway. If they donât happen youâve lost nothing, if they do (spoiler alert they can and will!) then you have amazing things coming to fruition.
Donât give up on or avoid therapy and medication. They can change your life, and if you have tried before and found it ineffective please donât give up on it all. I had lots of trial and error before I found the meds I needed, and now they help me live a full life and I donât rely on them as heavily.
Reach out to your family, friends, and communities. Do not try to go it alone because it is 1000 times harder and it doesnât have to be. If you have a dream, no matter how small, pursue it. I mean it! I started giving myself a sense of life by decorating my bedroom. You do have a future even if you canât see it through the fog. Light up a lantern and keep going! You will find your happiness.
If you share this post please share and encourage the sharing of this version. While I respect peopleâs need to express their feelings of hopelessness, I am getting an influx of messages, tags, and activity where commenters reaffirm in themselves that it will never get better, life is hopeless, and that this post just confirms their state of mind. That is not the effect I wished to make with this post in 2018 and it isnât in 2024. The point of my original post was that despite the feeling, you are not alone, you exist, you are seen and wanted, and your depression is the thing barring you from happiness. You donât have to magically overcome hopelessness, but please consider the impact of reaffirming hopelessness to myself and others online. You have the right to share the words I posted, but I would be grateful if you shared all of them.
there's something so raw and soul crushing about spending your late childhood+teen years suicidal then growing up and actually wanting to live, after an ungodly effort, only to see your health deteriorate because of chronic illness.
The only thing you were aware of was the man in front of you; his breaths heavy, crimson eyes intent on your figure as he stalked forward. Fingers gripping tightly as he crushed you to his chest, his lips finding yours in a kiss which threatened to consume you entirely. The backs of your legs hit the bed, his want obvious as he pressed himself against your body, determined to push you back onto the bed.
A small growl escaped Lichtâs throat when you refused to budge.
Deciding he couldnât wait, his hands instantly seek the band of your trousers; muttering into your kiss about how this would have been easier had you been wearing a skirt. Thereâs no gentleness in his movements as he shoves his hands down the waist band and straight to your building heat. You moan against him, using his body to support you.
âLichtâŠ.â
âCum on my hands first,â he breathes out, a slight blush colouring his cheeks.
Heâs unsure, you can sense it. Licht, as gentle as he is, always worries when he gets this forward with you; is it too much, do you not like it? He swallows thickly and you press your chest to his in need for his warmth. âYouâre doing well, Licht,â you breathe out, voice hitching in your throat when his fingers brush your sensitive bud.
âThere?â he asks, burying his face into your neck. He pinches your clit sending you mewling, your legs growing weaker and weaker; each time he urges you to come undone on his fingers, and each time you try harder and harder to resist. âStop fighting it,â he half pleads. âI need you to feel good.â
âI want you to feel good too, Licht,â you whimper, reaching out for his trousers.
The moment you do, his hands move from you and you find yourself spun around and pushed down onto the bed. A sound of surprise leaves you and you go to push yourself up but - âHands behind your back,â his voice comes, right in your ear, a dangerous growl almost trying to tempt you to go against him. You shudder, almost wanting to defy him. Licht huffs, pulling the ribbon from the back of your corset, your blouse long since discarded with his shirt, and quickly ties your hands behind your back.
âBut-â
He entirely ignores your need to touch him, pulling your trousers and undergarments off in one movement. For a moment he does nothing and you gulp, resisting the urge to look behind at him; is he just staring at how wet you are? Does he find it obscene? You can feel your arousal coating your thighs already and you wriggle slightly â stopped when his fingers prod at your dripping folds. âYouâre so wet for me.â
Lichtâs voice drips with approval and you whimper.
âIâll make you feel good.â
His promise is laced with desire and you hear the sound of his belt buckle coming undone and heavy fabric hitting the floor with a slight clank. Thereâs silence then, only your heavy breathing filling the space before you feel him at your entrance. âOn your knees, face down.â
âLicht?â
âDo it.â
Youâre going to have to reassure him later, you know he much prefers you to be the one to take initiative in the bedroom â youâre not even sure what had inspired this in him, him coming to you saying he wanted to fuck you, that he wanted to make you squirm under him, come undone around him again and again, until you were drunk on his cock.
At first, youâd thought he was drunk. The flush on his cheeks alcohol and nothing else, but it had become obvious in the way he kissed you and led you towards his room that there was no intoxication involved; he was sober, his kisses sloppy and hands clumsy with a shyness, an unsureness. You liked this, though, in fact you werenât sure youâd ever been so aroused in your entire life.
His hands are calloused, rough, and yet gentle as he helps you find your balance into his position of choice but they soon move from you to grip his cock. You already know his size, the feel of the way he fills you up and stretches you until you feel your mind going blank is ingrained in you. Licht is slow, teasing, as he traces himself over you to coat himself in your wetness; each time his tip rubs against your clit you moan and whimper, his name a plea for more on your lips.
Licht is slow at first as he pushes into you, just the tip at first and then a little more each time. You moan each time, desperate to grip the sheets below you, but the best you can do is clench your hands from their bound position. Sweat drops from his chest onto your back adding to the stimulation, and as he bottoms out inside of you, he lets out a deep sigh of pleasure.
Then he pulls out almost fully and stays still.
âLichtâŠ?â
You wonder, briefly, if heâs unsure but when you go to turn your head to look at him, he quickly pushes your head down onto the pillows. You mumble his name as he gives a few quick thrusts, and then slowly pulls out again leaving his tip to stuff you and nothing else.
âFuck yourself on my cock.â
Itâs rare to hear him talk so dirty, to hear a single word like that come from his lips that you could almost cum from that alone. It takes you to a moment to calm down, to steady yourself and make sense of his words, and then you move yourself against him. Lichtâs moans are louder than yours, yours muffled by the pillows heâs still pinning you down into as you move yourself along his thick shaft. The sounds of your backside hitting against his thighs laced with wetness is almost too lewd, you feel your stomach forming a knot; a heat going lower and lower.
âYouâre cumming?â he breathes, leaning over you to cage your body down. All of Licht covers you and fills your senses as he adds his thrusts to yours. You keep moving yourself against him until you feel yourself peak, whimpering and crying into the pillows he keeps you buried into as he continues to fuck you through your orgasm.
His pace quickens and you whimper, trying to move away from him at the overstimulation, but each time you flee heâs quick to chase you and fill you back up. You bite the sheets in an attempt to find some control of the situation, body shaking. One of Lichtâs hands slips under your stomach to keep you up.
The sounds are too much; his moans of your name, the wetness each time he fully joins with you, the sound and feel of your joined arousal running from your thigh and hitting the sheets. Thereâs nothing but Licht as he continues, seeming to have endless stamina. Perhaps heâs an animal in heat, you think, closing your eyes as you feel his tongue against your shoulder. Then, without warning, he bites down.
You cry out, body tensing around him and pulling another high from you.
Licht isnât done yet â but his movements are erratic as he desperately chases his own orgasm. Moans change to grunts as he focuses himself, teeth claiming any unmarked patch of skin on your arms, shoulders, and back he can find and all you can do is let him; murmuring his name as you find yourself more and more drunk on him.
He fills you up quickly, pushing you down into his bed as he spills himself fully. Licht pulls out before heâs spent and you feel your backside and lower back covered in him as he lets you fall to his bed, panting heavily. You donât need to look to know thereâs a right mess between your legs; you can feel the stickiness, the feeling of being full from his cock now being full of his love for you. Perhaps heâs curious, you feel his fingers on the inside of your thighs and you shudder as he traces along your dripping mess.
âLicht,â you whisper, weakly turning to look at him. âI think Iâll pass out⊠if you touch me there.â
His crimson eyes raise to meet you and he swallows thickly. âI didnât hurt you?â Heâs quick to untie your hands and rub them, covering them in soft kisses. Surely heâs tired too, you think, yet he busies himself cleaning you up, soothing each of the sore bite marks heâd left on you, and then pulling you off the bed and into his arms in the single chair in his room. From the new position you can see just what a state heâs made of his own bed, and youâre positive that not too long before that you were also quite a state.
âWhat⊠brought this on?â you gulp out, exhausted and resting languidly in his arms. Heâs wrapped you in one of his shirts, the fabric soft, but if youâre honest you miss the feeling of his skin and you press yourself close to him as if seeking more.
âI-â he looks away, pursing his lips almost. Shame?
âYou didnât hurt me. I⊠kind of liked it, really. But why?â
âI overheard my brothers talking about how women prefer dominant lovers.â
Youâre not sure you heard him, and you swallow down a small laugh, not wanting him to get upset or hurt at the reaction. Honestly, itâs adorable. âLicht-â you smile at him, weakly raising yourself to place a soft kiss on his cheek. âThe type of lover I prefer is the one youâre most comfortable being.â
His lips are still pursed.
âYouâre a great boyfriend- partner⊠sweetheart,â you smile at him, urging him to look at you. Heâs avoiding your gaze, shame flooding through him. âI liked this, you didnât hurt me. Really. But⊠your usual love making is enough, too. I always feel so loved by you.â
Finally pulling a reaction from him, you feel his fingers grip you. Lichtâs eyes move to meet yours, and itâs only when he sees you smiling at him, your cheeks glowing and eyes heavy from being drunk simply on him, does he smile back. Licht kisses you again, a slow kiss, and he bites at your bottom lip as he pulls away; a small growl in the back of his throat. âWhen you say sweet things like that⊠I want you to take me.â
This time itâs your turn to blush. You swear your whole body burns crimson, and you try desperately to hide from him, using his neck to bury your face into. Honestly itâs just not fair how he gets your heart going, how he already has you wanting him again despite how absolutely exhausted you are. Youâre certain come sunrise your body will be blue and red; marks from kisses, from fingers on your soft flesh, legs weak, and thoughts stuck on just how perfect he had felt when heâd filled your senses. Licht will kiss each mark, perhaps he will spend the day apologising each time you wince in pain, swear he wonât touch you until youâre okay; and yet youâre more than certain that come tomorrow night youâll find yourself tangled in his limbs, bodies joined in every way possible, and every part of yourself dedicated to the love of him.
Summary: Perhaps you werenât just a little robin anymore; he felt like a sailor walking to his death when the siren began to sing.
Words: 2902
Tags: NSFW! MDNI! female reader; reader masturbating; vaginal fingering; vaginal sex; voice kink; praise kink; overstimulation; unprotected sex; creampie; this man is basically smitten, but you donât know it; thereâs consent after Roger enters the room!
Notes: Me when Freya told me about Rogerâs curse (before the release): I have 10 different smuts ideas. And I was thinking a lot about it these days, remembering how Roger heard the reader in this fanfic of hers, and⊠here we are. Also inspired by the song Siren (Kailee Morgue).
You can pretend
That when you hear my voice
Darlinâ itâs a choice not to fall in
He could hear you. You didnât really think about it, but probably a part of your mind did. Youâd bet that same part was the one that thought it was a good idea to touch yourself while thinking about Roger.
To take off your clothes and throw them all over the floor while caressing your sensitive nipples and pretending his hands were the ones doing it. To let your fingertips slide down your stomach and flick your clit. To have those same fingertips tease your entrance, collecting your juices, just to then enter you, a mewl of his name leaving your lips. To close your eyes and imagine how his cock would feel inside you, and then realize your fingers werenât enough anymore.
Roger could simply shut off the sounds or concentrate to hear them better, and unfortunately for you, he was always randomly listening to you, making sure you were fine, that you werenât in danger, that you didnât feel sad and lonely. Heâd usually ask someone more suitable for the job of cheering you up, like Liam, William, or Victor⊠Sometimes Ellis was a good choice too. But when he sought out your voice and all he caught was the sound of his name being softly whispered, he stopped in the middle of his lab.
Were you�
Raising an eyebrow, he tilted his head slightly, concentrating more on the sound.
Yes, you were.
You were definitely touching yourself and moaning his name. His cock instantly reacted, hardening and tenting his pants in record time. Shaking his head, he tried to pretend it didnât happen, but you were getting louder. He closed his eyes to take a deep breath, but your frustrated sounds took over his mind. It sounded like you were close, but couldnât finish, so you kept calling his name and moaning with that beautiful voice of yours.
Sighing, he ran a hand through his hair and tried once again to shut down your sounds and listen to something else, anything to distract him. But of course, everyone chose tonight to either leave the castle or be quiet in their rooms.
As if enchanted by your voice, he gave up trying to fight it. He shouldnât, and he knew it very well. He was bound to betray; it was his curse, and even though he fought against it every day, there was no guarantee he wouldnât end up doing it. He shouldnât get so close to you; he shouldnât let your voice beckon him that way. He didnât want to risk betraying you⊠but he went.
Perhaps you werenât just a little robin anymore; he felt like a sailor walking to his death when the siren began to sing.
Roger stopped in front of your door for a second, unsure if he should just enter or knock first. His knuckles met the wood before he could think much more, and your alluring sounds stopped instantly. For a brief moment, he could think clearly without you moaning his name, but he could still hear your ragged breath on the other side.
âItâs me,â he announced. You didnât say anything, and he thought you might even be holding your breath, trying to prevent him from hearing you. Well, he was already there⊠âIâm coming in.â
âNOââ
He ignored you and opened the door â you were so naive, leaving it unlocked. He entered your room and closed the door behind him, locking it this time. His gaze was instantly on you, still fumbling with the sheets, trying to cover your naked body without success. Your eyes met his, your mouth opened and closed a few times, no sound coming out. You were so embarrassed, but he probably already saw everything, so you stopped fighting your sheets and stayed there unmoving, hoping this was a dream, or that your bed would swallow you.
âI can help you,â he said simply, still hovering next to the door.
Your eyes widened. âI-I⊠donâtâŠâ
âYou sounded like you needed help, lilâ lady.â
âYou⊠You were listening to me?â Your voice cracked as it rose to a higher tone, filled with disbelief.
âNot on purpose, you dirty-minded thing,â he smirked. âBut when you have an ability like mine and you hear a voice calling your name, itâs a little hard to ignore it, donât you think?â
Apparently, it was possible to feel even more embarrassed in this situation. Again, you didnât really think about it, but a part of your mind probably set all this up for you, thinking it could end up being a good thing.
You averted your eyes and bit your lip nervously, weighing the pros and cons of this situation, if this could really be a good idea⊠But you knew you were just trying to keep up an act because from the moment he knocked on your door, you hoped things would end up this way â to be fair, you hoped for things to end up this way from the moment you started touching yourself.
Looking back at Roger, who was still standing next to your door and intently staring at you, you swallowed hard. You quickly scanned his whole body, then looked back into those beautiful amber eyes behind his glasses.
âOkay,â you finally replied in a whisper.
It was more than enough for him.
His face shifted into a playful expression as Roger walked over to you. He kicked off his boots when he stopped at the feet of your bed, his eyes taking in your whole body now that he was closer. He leaned his knee on the bed, the mattress creaking underneath his weight as he made his way over to you. You didnât have time to think much or to regret; his lips were on yours in a matter of seconds, giving you a deep, demanding, desperate, rough, and almost possessive kiss.
Rough hands groped you, making sure he mapped every patch of skin, memorizing the spots that made you squirm under him. For a few moments, Roger felt like he was the one temptingly calling you, but then youâd sigh his name oh so beautifully and heâd go back to be the one following your call. He honestly didnât care anymore; heâd drown in you if that was what you wanted.
His lips descended to your neck, kissing and nibbling, spurred on by your heavy breaths. When Roger reached your breasts, his tongue swirling around your perky nipples, he knew he was a goner. Your moan hit his ears in a way that made him quickly realize that your voice and whatever sounds that left your lips were addicting. Your hands went to his hair, grabbing what you could from his short locks, trying to pull him closer as you attempted to spread your legs even more. He took that as an invitation, bringing one hand to your already wet pussy, two fingers easily slipping inside.
âYouâve already prepared yourself so well,â he purred against your skin, his hot breath sending shivers through your body.
âRogerâ Ah!â
When he added a third one, it was a stretch, but not unwelcome. You threw your head back, your eyes rolling back and closing. He let go of your nipple with a hum, delighted by your reactions. Bringing his face back up, he hovered above your body, using his elbow as support beside your head. That way, he could carefully watch you, wanting to keep it on his mind, concentrating on your mewls, your ragged breath, your heartbeats increasingâŠ
âYouâre already close, ainât you?â he whispered, his lips softly brushing against yours.
âYes⊠RogerâŠâ you breathlessly tried to say something, but your moans were the only thing that left your lips.
âYou were pleasuring yourself for a while, after all.â
He flicked his wrist, giving him a better angle to hit inside you, using his thumb to rub your clit. Your hands went straight to his shoulder blades, digging your fingers into him. The feeling inside you was growing stronger, hotter, about to snap and make you see all the stars in the sky. Your walls fluttered nonstop around his fingers, which relentlessly kept thrusting into you, his breath on your neck while he decorated your skin with red marks, making goosebumps rise.
And the he stopped.
âR-RogerâŠâ
You whined and tried to buck your hips against him, but he pulled out his fingers, purposefully brushing against your clit to make you squirm before bringing them to his lips. Your eyes widened, but you kept watching intently as his tongue cleaned his fingers. He chuckled, looking at your desperate gaze, feeling smug and proud, knowing he was the whole cause of this state of yours.
âDonât worry, my dear,â he smiled almost lovingly, bringing his face a hairâs width away from yours. âI just want you to cum on my cock.â
You gasped, and his smile spread even wider across his face. He pecked your lips before sitting up on his heels. His amber eyes shone and glimmered with lust even in the low light of your bedroom. Roger kept his gaze on you while unbuttoning his shirt, throwing it over his shoulder to a random corner of your room, and his pants and underwear followed suit. You tried not to stare so much, but it was impossible not to see this huge man, naked, right in front of you, and not stare shamelessly. You thought his smirk couldnât get any cockier, but that was on you and your hungry gaze roaming his body.
When he leaned down again, his body pressing yours against the mattress, his hard cock rubbing against your wet folds, you didnât waste time in looping your legs around his waist. You didnât care if you looked desperate anymore, and to be fair, it shouldnât matter since the moment he entered the room, knowing very well what you were doing.
Your hands flew to his head, trying to fist his hair, your nails scraping his scalp and his neck. One of his hands dug into your hips, while his other hand aligned his cock with your entrance. He kissed you deeply as he started sinking into you. It was definitely big, but you could tell he was trying to go slow so as not to hurt you.
You had to break the kiss to throw your head back on your pillow, a long moan leaving your lips, your eyes closing from the pleasure.
âLook at me, lilâ lady,â he said with his deep voice close to your ear.
Stilling his movements when he was fully inside you to wait for you to feel adjusted, Roger started peppering kisses on your cheeks and jawline. You whimpered at the feeling of his lips so tenderly caressing your skin and slowly fluttered your eyes open, coming face to face with his heated gaze â one that could set you on fire so easily, and youâd just be grateful if it did. He smiled at you, the back of his fingers caressing your cheeks.
âGood girl.â
Your walls squeezed around him after the praise, and he raised an eyebrow at you. Neither of you said anything, but you knew heâd probably use it against you â not that it was a really bad thing, or that you wouldnât like it. You just pouted for being so easily read, for your body reacting so readily to him, and for Roger being extremely perceptive.
With a smug and knowing grin, he pulled out until just the tip, then slammed back into you. You gasped, your thighs trembling around his body, squeezing him as he started a rough pace. It was such a beautiful sight⊠Your furrowed brows, your hazy eyes staring intently into his, your disheveled hair splayed on your pillow, your lips calling to him like it was the only thing you knew to do.
Ah, he was fucked. It was addicting to feel and hear you like that.
Roger slowed his thrusts to grab your legs, disentangling them from around his body and bringing them to his shoulders. He held your ankle near his face, planting a soft kiss there before sliding his hand down to grab your thigh. Leaning forward slightly, the new angle allowed him to hit deeper. He brought his hand to your clit, rubbing circles, and resumed his rough pace from before.
âR-Rogerâ There!â You moaned as he hit your sweet spot, fighting every urge to close your eyes again. You wanted to look at his face, to see how pleasurable this was for him too; it gave you a sense of pride.
âSuch a good and pretty girl, taking my cock so well,â he smiled with amusement, feeling your pussy clenching around him, sensing your body quivering with his praise.
âI-IâmâŠâ
âClose, right?â
âYes, s-so close,â you whined, your arms locking around his neck, pulling him down to seal your lips together, practically folding yourself in half.
âThen cum on me,â he murmured, sucking on your bottom lip.
He lightly pinched your clit between his index and thumb, and you finally saw stars. Your nails dug into his back, and your whole body spasmed as you climaxed. Your vision went white for a second, and you found yourself out of breath, your mouth agape but no sound coming out.
Roger didnât stop, fucking you through your orgasm, his fingertips still relentlessly rubbing your sensitive clit. Your walls clenched around his cock impossibly tight, and he gave his all to hold back his own climax.
âToo muchâŠâ you whimpered, your body trembling beneath him.
However, you made no effort to stop him, on the contrary. You held his face close to yours, trying to kiss him and breathing heavily against his lips; your hips bucked trying to meet him halfway. Roger watched intently every tiny reaction that showed on your face, and his heart sang when he noticed the corners of your eyes getting wet.
âYou can do it, dear,â he breathed. âYouâve done so well already, I know you can do it again.â
He changed hands, the other one rubbing your clit with revitalized energy. You opened your mouth to tell him you were close again, but the pleasure crashed down on you before you could say anything, a long, drawn-out moan escaping you. Roger stopped stimulating your clit but kept thrusting into you through your orgasm, chasing his own release. The intensity of your walls trying to milk him dry was too much, and he followed you after a few more thrusts, painting your insides white.
He slowly pulled out and sat up, releasing your legs and letting them fall to the mattress beside him. You looked at him, steadying your breath, but he could still hear the wild beat of your heart matching his own. Shifting his gaze to your pussy, still dripping from both your releases, Roger slowly scanned your entire body, his fingers gently tracing every little mark he left on your skin, memorizing how beautiful you looked beneath him.
He really did it. He went to your room and fucked you. He let his other head do the thinking and now he was there, admiring your blissed-out face and wondering if youâd look just as good on top of him â you definitely would.
âW-what?â you asked with a frown. He had been staring in silence for a whole minute, and it was making you nervous.
âNothing, sweetheart.â
You bit your lip â both from anxiety and embarrassment from the pet name â a habit he noticed a while back. He used his thumb to pull your lip from between your teeth, and then you pouted. He couldnât stop the chuckle that reverberated through his chest, thinking how cute you could be. So he kissed you. It was different, less desperate, more sweet and soft, and Roger found himself enjoying it more than he should.
He was supposed to force himself to stop kissing you, so he could go back to his lab, to leave you be and pretend this whole thing wasnât a big deal. However, it was hard to follow his own commands tonight, and he kept kissing you until he was lazily pecking your lips. When he finally pulled back, he barely moved away from between your legs to sit on the edge of the bed when he felt you grabbing his wrist.
âDonât go,â you asked with a weak voice. âPlease, stay.â
Roger looked up at your face, seeing the pleading look in your eyes, and he regretted it. Your voice wasnât the only thing that could enchant him to do your bidding.
With a resigned sigh, he took off his glasses and rubbed his hand on his face. He wouldnât call it love; he didnât believe in that sort of thing. He preferred the words âintriguedâ or âcuriousâ to describe how he felt about you, but you had other plans to show him that deep down it was more than that.
Still not feeling quite like himself, he continued to obey you and lay down beside you, pulling you close so you could nuzzle up to his chest. You let out a contented sigh, prompting him to release one of his own in an attempt to calm his racing heart.
Feeling your warm body against his, your sleepy breath tickling his collarbone, he placed a kiss on the crown of your head and allowed himself to fall asleep too.
You know what people donât talk about often enough? Playing catch up in life after spending your teens or early 20s suicidally depressed. Thereâs so many more layers than just being able to say âI donât want to die anymore.â
The difficulty in academia or a career after spending years thinking you wouldnât be alive long enough for any of it to matter.
The exhaustion that comes from self awareness and self soothing, with the constant voice in your head saying âdonât go backwards.â
How lonely it is to watch the people your age starting families when youâre just barely learning what stable relationships are, and the sudden societal pressure of being âup against a clockâ for these kinds of things.
The judgement from others if you change your image or interests this late in the game just because you finally figured out who you really are under the demons.
Be kind to those who are developing and blooming after years of not planning on being here long. We are living a life we absolutely didnât think weâd have, and itâs hard enough without society reminding us thereâs expectations of our age.
We didnât get to be young; we were too busy fighting battles few know.
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