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Kiana Khansmith
Today's Document
One Nice Bug Per Day

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@mspinkypink23
Hello once again, my diary ✨🩷
Natalie Wee, Least of all
Image I.D. — “I kneel into a dream / where I am good & loved. / I am good. I am loved.” — End I.D.
i am basically a hopeless romantic with trust issues
I worked my ass in this institution for almost six years.
I gave my all and pour my heart even if my mental and physical health were both at stake.
Even if I need to give up some moments and time for my family
I failed to fulfill my responsibilities as an Ate to my siblings because I was too busy organizing some event and doing some paper works.
Yet up until now, my efforts were not enough.
They failed to give me what I truly deserve.
They failed to compensate and give me the position that they promised.
Instead of appreciating and recognizing my potential, they were too busy appreciating someone who isn’t me
And I guess this is my last straw for everything.
I want to quit.
I will quit.
I want to give up and resign in this toxic work environment.
I just hope, pray and manifest that I will be employed in a stable, happy and harmonious work environment this 2024.
Manifesting being employed and accepted in the work that I will be applying.
Terror and Horror
I tried to forget those hurtful words that they utter
But I just can't seem to let it slip away from my mind
When those words gave me horror
That I can no longer pretend that I am fine
It's been way too long since I was terrorized
By some people like you
And I just can't fathom that you dig these demons from their grave
When I gave my all just to let them go
But here you are, awakening them up
As if you do not have a child who is trying to survive
In this scarred world and broken chaos
I tried to understand you but it lead me to being tired
I do not know if you still have the kindness in your heart
Or maybe it was filled with pain and horror that made you a terrible person who bring nothing but fear and terror to the people around you
Maybe I'll just try to bury them again in my nightmares
And start praying that these tears of mine will haunt you forever.
Long Lost Dream
I may have taken a long pause to achieve you. I have taken many delays because I was too afraid and mentally not prepared for the uncertainty of the future, but I am proud to say that here we are my love, I am now Licensed Professional Teacher. It was not just a mere thought that came into my mind, but it was rooted in my heart that made me truly meant for this dream. Maybe others will judge me for my decisions but soon, I will be pursuing another dream of mine which is to be a Lawyer. However, for now, I will continue my passion to be a teacher and enroll myself in my dream school. Time will come and everything will be alright with God's grace and guidance, I know that I can make it.
In God's right timing and perfect will for me, I will be Atty. Christine Mae G. Borja, LPT, Master of Education Major in Social Studies.
Isaiah 60:22
So broken that I don't want to take a risk anymore.
Love is beautiful yet we choose to break our own hearts and saw the ugly scars of it that we should not have if we only love.
To my wishing star,
I hope that my heart can wait for your love.
When the world shuts you down and you don't have someone to take your hand and lift you up from drowning. You wished for your death because you cannot take the pain anymore. You can no longer tolerate the tragic feeling that you have in your heart because they are taking you down and pulling you in your own grave that is why you end up wishing for it for you are already losing and you are now giving up. You are alone, that's what you feel darling and you cannot even run from your demons who have been chasing you in your sleep. All your life, I know that you just hoped for love and acceptance for who you are but the world is just so unfair that you don't have no one. So you believe that no one can love you and not even your parents and friends who can save you from drowning and if your heart hopes for knight in shining armor then I will be forever sorry to say that it is indeed impossible so maybe you will no longer hope for love anymore and you learn to accept that you are alone and forever will do. Your soul will forever scarred and your heart will just remain from being broken so I guess this is it. Cheers for your drowning moments, Christine. Hope I can save you but I can no longer do.
I need to take a break from all these pain.
Just accept the tragic fact that no one can love you like what you did to him.
how can you cry so much after laughing so loud?
So me.