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Hello There #February 😍❤️ x #LoveIsInTheAir
Where will you be 20 years from now? #JustJump #HappyMonday (at O.R. Tambo International Airport)
Be grounded! Know what you want and focus! #Fruitful2016 #Flourish #BishopJakes
Lessons From Lambie
With only a week away from Christmas and two away from a new year, I am enveloped by excitement and a little anxiety.
A year ago I was pregies, engaged and sure that everything was going to fall into place with Lambie's dad. Completely oblivious to my reality I would start preppin menu's to cook a Christmas eve dinner for him and I only to find "his ex's" car hidden in his neighbors carport and the keys hidden in a jacket in his closet (there goes the thought of a beautiful candle lit dinner cooked by yours truly - anybody who knows me knows that it takes a lot for me to cook so this was really going to be 'special').
With a dramatic start to the year (the next day after dinner he refused to come to church with me only to find out he would spend Christmas with his "ex"), a couple of months later I find myself intrigued by hmm *starts praying in tongues* someone I barely even knew he existed 6 months ago, excited for 2016 and the plans I have, scared because on of the goals I have set for myself and so in love with this little person (Lambie). Looking back at all the prayer points and goals I had set for 2016 I'm pretty sure God had a good chuckle and was on some "her life about to get real lit"... Lol
A lot of the time we are slowed down and distracted by disappointments and driven to depression on the corner of could've and should've. So many things we could've done to change certain circumstances and even more things we should've done to avoid others you know if you didn't go on that trip, end up at that club, didn't make that drunk call oooh man! - . Self blame becomes the cheese placed between our sandwich of hope and life and in the end it is so easy to fall into the trap of a pity party.
While dancing to our disappoints we ought to be grateful for so much! All it takes is lowering the volume just enough to hear our true thoughts and actually take a moment to (as Lalah Hathaway says) Just Breathe. Your story is still to be told...
Lambie is starting to master motor control; like crawling, standing, walking (so excited!) and jumping (yes jumping lol) and many of the times she 'just goes'. Without worrying about where she'll land, who is around her or how she'll land she literally just walks, jumps, hops or rolls. The faith and trust that she has in knowing that the people she has around her will never let her get hurt is so strong and so real because indeed I would drop and roll to make sure she doesn't get hurt.
This is the biggest lesson I have learnt from her. So many times we're quick to forget 1. God and 2. the people around you that genuinely care about you. We are so self cautious and so quick to be hard on ourselves because "what will they say"... We end up agreeing to doing things that do not really resonate with who we really are and towards the end we get lost in a world that we are not familiar with and fall into depression. So many times we adjust ourselves to fit people into our lives instead of being honest with ourselves and not allowing certain people into our lives for the sake of having a bigger circle.
So ... My point? Talk the way you talk. Think the way you think. Wear your scars. Do what you were called to do, follow your passion. Follow the path in your heart, not the path that you see many others travel. God will make sure you don't fall and the universe will work in your favor!
Stay buck
www.beyonce.com
It's Been Real!
A year and a half ago I was nowhere near thinking of having a mini me (my little Lambie). While away on a trip with friends I decided, spontaneously after some serious thought, that I needed my (at the time) ex (now father of my baby) back in my life for the 100th time. This love-hate relationship I had with him was beautiful in its own way. 4 years later and I am blessed with a fruit of that relationship! I look at her every time and not only does my heart get filled with so much joy but she motivates me to do and be better! (For the non-mommas this feeling is like being at the top floor penthouse with a stunning view and someone telling you that it's yours and the penthouse comes with a million bucks lol!)... Her smile literally brightens up my world, she is my world!
It's amazing how that single choice had a major domino effect on my life. My dad always reminds me that life is the sum of choices you make everyday. Everything you do (good or bad) has a consequence, some you realize later and others are instantly noticed. The rollercoster ride up until now has been extremely beautiful yet so scary. Not only have I learnt so much about myself but I have also gained so much wisdom and understanding of what it means for someone to depend on you, literally with their entire life! The trust, the strength, the laughs and the tears (believe me the journey has been real!) have all made me into someone new and slowly but surely I am learning about myself (like falling in love) all over again.
At the beginning of The Matrimony (Wale ft Usher), Jerry Seinfield talks about how you can never be prepared for a new experience no matter how well prepared you are and no matter how much you have planned because you literally become a new person, you have a new life.... (Side Note: I LOVE this song!) This is exactly how I felt with Lambie, I had the baby books, watched tons of videos, (slept a lot), practiced how to be a mamma with my sister's kids (they got disciplined more than anything, poor kids), I researched so much I could have had a degree in Antenatal Philosophy lol! But the minute Lambie was born, all that went out the window and I was on my way to discover the new me!
My story may not be different from many other women in the world and this blog is not about me trying to show you "how to be a perfect mamma" or "how perfect my world is" because I am not perfect and my world is far from perfect too. My aim with this blog is merely to share my version of being a BUCK mamma, my BUCK world with my BUCK little munchkins! So hold on tight, it's about to get BUCK (allow the overkill)!
Some posts may be anonymous and other may be from me :) I only hope that my blog will inspire, encourage and inform you of things you may not have known. So as the journey continues let's grow together!
Your opinion don't put no money in my pocket
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I want!
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RIDICULOUSLY fat cats
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saddest cats on the internet
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Me right now .....
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"I took a deep breath and listened to the old brag of my heart: I am. I am. I am."
Dope!!
"When You Black…"
Original poem by Rob ‘Robalu’ Gibsun.
Facts ! Never b