MTF Problems

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as a genderqueer teenager, this blog helps me feel less dysphoric about my femme side, and i'd just like to extend a huge thanks to you amazing ladies running this blog!! i realize i'm not exactly who this blog is for, but feeling comfortable in your own skin is important. i hope all the women and other people who come here will at least eventually have a day where they feel hella awesome about their own bodies because everyone is beautiful!! and some just need time to remember that!!! (\(uvu)/)

We're glad you feel that way! We're here to help <3

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I agree with Markel, it really does not mean anything. I personally know a transwoman who is XXY. I would have a medical article as well but apparently you can not put links in asks. Anyway, cis woman would be the the appropriate way of putting it.

Any term we pick is going to upset somebody. We've had people get mad at us using 'cis women' as well as 'genetic girls'. Therefore, we chose to use genetic girls because we have had the least amount of issues with that term. We can't please everybody =/

[mtfproblems]

Can you not say "genetic girls"? That doesn't even mean anything since genes aren't an absolute factor anyways.

It's just a term we use to differentiate. We'll open a poll and our followers can choose a term that they'd be happy with us using. 

[mtfproblems]

I am still fighting with myself if I'm trans or not, but I accept it more and more everyday (the more I fight it the more depressed I get). I havn't told my parents, but I'd like to start therapy. Should I ask for a gender therapist or just a regular therapist?

I'd start with a regular therapist. Once you can open up to him/her, you should be able to tell them about your GID stuff and have him/her recommend you a good GID therapist in your area.

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Im thinking of leaving a packet of trans resources, with a letter about how i feel. I know this could be seen as cowardly, but i really don't want to have that conversation with them, because they'll want to know why, and i can't give them a solid answer, like I could if I was coming out as gay. Should I use this as a method of coming out?

It all depends on your parents. I used that method and my mom refused to read what I gave her, stating that I was wrong.... everyone's coming out is different and it depends entirely on your situation. 

~Mod T

[mtfproblems]

How do I get bras that fits? Are sport bras better than regular?

Sports bras don't usually show off breasts; they're mainly used to hold things down while exercising. To get a bra that fits, you get measured or measure yourself (we've posted a guide before) and you just experiment with what fits and what doesn't. Even genetic girls have to go through the experimenting of bras fitting and not fitting!

[mtfproblems]

Hi, I have an issue. I want to tell my parents, I've printed off like 100 pages of information for my folks, and written a letter. I was gonna leave it at my house when I return to school. I was gonna talk to my dr, but my mom made me cancel the appt, cause she's worried about the rain (which is going to be a lot but she's overreacting), so I can't. Should I still tell my parents or is it a bad idea

No one can answer this but you. You need to decide whether it's best to tell them now or later, and you need to decide what the best way to tell them is. If you're not ready, then you're not ready! There's nothing wrong with that, you just need to figure out what's best for you.

[mtfproblems]

Hi, I'm a pre-everything transwoman and I'm worried. The dorm director told me he doesn't feel like giving me a room without a roommate, even tho I would be entitled to one as a senior next year, I'm scared about what may happen...

Talk to your dorm directer, and tell him that you request a room to yourself. He 'doesn't feel like giving you one' but if you're entitled to one, you should be able to get one. If he still doesn't feel like giving you one, talk to the higher-ups at your school to rectify the situation.

[mtfproblems]

Ugh, this was a nightmare and a half for me. Calling credit card companies, utilities, health insurance... and saying, "Hello, this is my account number, I just had a name change. Previous name was [male name] and now my name is T." I'd always get the people saying, "Wait, what? What do you mean? Did [male name] die?" No guys, I just had a name change. "But... but your other name was male." Yes, yes it was, and now it's female... please change it, thanks! Luckily I have that all taken care of now! Gender marker and name changed so I can continue living my life the way I want to live it, not the way society thinks I should!

~Mod T

[mtfproblems]

Full Confession: I hate people who expect me to be a trans* activist just because I'm trans*. I'm stealth, none of my close friends know I'm trans* (only some people online know), and I don't want people to know I'm trans*. There's NOTHING wrong with that!

You're right, there is nothing wrong with that at all! It's all personal preference!

~Mod M

[mtfproblems]

Full Confession: I was recently asked if I was born a male because of my voice (which I thought was good) and other reasons... I thought I passed perfectly but people still wonder about me... it's so depressing

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Soon after I figured out I was trans*, I got into this relationship. I'm so confused all the time, because when I'm with her I feel normal and alright, I feel like I could stay male for her .... and I don't know what to do

You have to do what you feel is right. There's really no advice we can give you other than be true to who you know you are, and don't let other people influence your decisions. In the end, you are all you're going to have, and as long as you're happy, you'll be okay. YOU MATTER TO YOU. You will always be there for yourself. Even when no one else is.

~Mod T

[mtfproblems]

How do I get my voice to be higher?

Vocal training!! Or, there's a surgery that sometimes works to make your voice higher (though sometimes it just ends up making your voice garbled... it's experimental). You can find vocal training on YouTube to make your voice higher.

~Mod M