Ike can’t try to fight him on it before their lips are pressed together, a kiss, after so long. After nothing. After the sunken low of the night there’s a rush all the way to the top of the coaster. And god, it feels so good. His hands fist at Filmore’s clothes, tight and tugging him closer as the sound that slips out between them is a borderline whine. Over a kiss, his knees just a little weak and his entire being wanting to cling to him to maintain it.
Filmore has no right to be able to render him like this with something so small. A few touches, three little words, a kiss- and yet Ike melts. Like no time has passed at all since the last chance they ever had to share such intimacy. Yet its different too, selfish, but also tender.
Its almost unfair. So unfair. So cruel. Because all Ike wants to do is stay that way, just like this with Filmore, even thought that little voice in the back of his mind tells him every horrible thing he already knows. Tells him that this could all be fake too.
But he wants to ignore it. Just for now. He wants to let himself have this. Please just let him have this.
He wraps his arms around Filmore to pull him closer, moaning quietly against his lips. Not wanting to part for longer than a moment, because the second they do he leans in again. Kiss after kiss, greedy- taking. Selfish.
Ike can be greedy, because Filmore is more than willing to give. More than willing to run out of breath ten times over just to keep this.
Somewhere, in the back of his mind, he thinks that maybe it’s wrong to do this. Even if he probably won’t abandon Ike this time, accident or not. But that part is repressed with each new press of their lips- each time Ike’s the one to go back in. Each time he feels what he didn’t appreciate when he had it the first time.
Every kiss, every whine, every movement no matter how small,- for once, Filmore can actually appreciate it being from Ike, rather than have a constant stream of ‘no homo’ in his head to drown out the fact that he liked it. It’s all things he’s getting from taking advantage of it- Ike’s vulnerability, need for comfort,- but it doesn’t stop him.
The only decent thing Filmore can do is let Ike drive the kiss from there. Let Ike lead it, because it’s already shitty of him to do this- find him, crying outside at a party, because of heartbreak, and kiss him,- so he can tone himself down, give that much to Ike. Even if he doesn’t want to stop any of this any time soon. Ever, if possible.
He wants to stay here, selfish in his own right, indulging in every last moment of this again and again. Forget the context. He’s missed this- missed Ike- so much. He wants to keep this.
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