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MUFFIN: Mash’s Muffins ANALYSIS: So, this is Mash. She is the best. At all things. One of the things she is the best at is cooking! And baking. And today, she baked muffins! And they were really amazing. You know, I love muffins. And I love Mash. So muffins baked by Mash? I can’t imagine many things better than that. These weren’t just really good muffins. These were really great muffins! <3 RATING: 20/10
MUFFIN: Healthy Muffin
ANALYSIS: Woah there, what is in this muffin. Seeds? It looks like seeds. I don’t know too much about seeds. Is there birdseed in this muffin? It looks like birdseed. That sounds strange, but it’s still a muffin so I’m gonna eat it! I bet it’s a really great muffin. And I bet it has quinoa in it but I don’t quite know what quinoa is exactly so don’t hold me to that!
RATING: 10/10
MUFFIN: Corn Muffin ANALYSIS: I like cornbread. But not as much as I like muffins! And this is basically cornbread as a muffin! What a time to be alive! This is a really good muffin. RATING: 10/10
MUFFIN: Zucchini ANALYSIS: I know what you’re thinking. A muffin made with zucchini?!?! Isn’t that the most darnedest thing you’ve ever heard?! I can hardly believe it! But it’s a muffin, so I’m gonna try it and I can report that this is a really good muffin. RATING: 10/10
MUFFIN: Cruffin ANALYSIS: The cruffin is part croissant and part muffin. At first I was not sold because the muffin is a perfect food entity. Why must we ruin it by hybridizing it with a croissant? But oh my gosh is this thing flaky and buttery! I realized I shouldn’t look at the cruffin as diminishing the muffin; what it’s doing is improving on the croissant. By putting it in muffin form! And I love muffins! This cruffin is a really good muffin. RATING: 10/10
MUFFIN: Carrot Cake Muffin ANALYSIS: Is that some cream cheese frosting I see on this muffin? Why, I do believe it is! This is a really, really good muffin. RATING: 10/10
MUFFIN: Lemon Poppyseed Muffin
ANALYSIS: This is a really good muffin. But why is it that poppyseeds are only paired with lemon? We never see poppyseeds in other places. Is it because they contain opium? Is that why? I’m seriously asking. Please let me know. Again, this is a really good muffin. I love muffins. RATING: 10/10
MUFFIN: Breakfast Muffin
ANALYSIS: What sweet manna from heaven is this? Is that a hard-boiled egg in a muffin? And it looks like there’s bacon in there? And some scallion or something? This is a whole breakfast right in a muffin! I know sometimes people eat a muffin for breakfast (and who am I kidding, when I say people, I mean me!!!) but that isn’t the healthiest option. A muffin is really more of a sometimes food. But this muffin really is a full breakfast right in a muffin! And it still might not be the healthiest breakfast you can get, but it will get you going for the day and would be a tasty savory treat! Knowing this muffin exists just opens up a whole new world of possibilities. This is a really good muffin. RATING: 10/10
MUFFIN: Coffee Cake Muffin ANALYSIS: Why is coffee cake called coffee cake? It doesn’t contain coffee! Is it just because you eat it with coffee? Are you SUPPOSED to eat it with coffee because I like coffee cake even if I’m not drinking coffee. I don’t really like the taste of coffee. It’s too bitter for me. And I can’t drink it past 10:00am or I’ll be up all night, haha! I get restless sometimes. I know that the night is when we should be sleeping, but it’s just so peaceful and quiet. And sometimes my head is just filled with too many thoughts about the day and I just lie awake. Dreaming of life. And of art. And of the woman I love. And of muffins. Speaking of which, this is a really good muffin. RATING: 10/10
MUFFIN: Pistachio Green Tea Muffin ANALYSIS: First of all, don’t get scared! I know this muffin is green and that’s off-putting but it’s because this particular muffin is made with green tea and pistachios. Those are two green foods but they also taste good. This is a really good muffin. RATING: 10/10
MUFFIN: Mini Muffins ANALYSIS: These are great for when you’re not sure what sort of muffin you want because they all look so delicious. With a mini muffin, you can have more than one. Because they’re mini. And then you can get more muffins. My current record is 14 mini muffins held in my mouth at once but I’m working on it.
RATING: 10/10 Also please don’t say this is cheating because it’s not a flavor, but instead just muffins that are smaller. This is my blog and I get to make the rules.
MUFFIN: Peanut Butter Chocolate Chip Muffin ANALYSIS: This is a really good muffin. But please do not eat it if you are allergic to nuts because it is made with peanut butter and you will be allergic to it. RATING: 10/10
MUFFIN: Blueberry Muffin ANALYSIS: This is a really good muffin. RATING: 10/10
MUFFIN: Bran Muffin ANALYSIS: Some might dismiss the humble bran muffin. But not me, Dev! This is a really good muffin. RATING: 10/10
MUFFIN: Studmuffin ANALYSIS: Hahaha, I know this isn’t an actual muffin! This is a person! It’s the actor Mads Mikkelsen! But he sure is a studmuffin, am I right?! Haha. Just a little humor from your friend, Dev! RATING: 10/10
MUFFIN: Pumpkin Spice Muffin
ANALYSIS: They make a pumpkin spice flavored everything these days. So, naturally they made a pumpkin spice muffin! Because muffins are a thing. And I’m so glad they are because I love muffins! This is a really good muffin. RATING: 10/10
MUFFIN: Banana Walnut Muffin ANALYSIS: This is a really good muffin. RATING: 10/10