☯︎

:: thoughts become things ::

[mugen-love]

iridescent infinities

a love that came in form of glowing -- grounded

& gifted - i n f i n i t y

a feeling of being cleansed by

calm in

our

communion.

someone i yearn to share with -- sensations unfurling like

a night-shaded flower

curled

tips

beckoning for the

moon

to

howl.

someone that reveals parts

of

myself, unknown -- to even

me.

--neglected and

unclear--

put away by a grandmother who held all her

secrets. only for the box to be opened by a child

who no longer

shares

her

name.

to feel seen &

held in the capaciousness of

your waters, celestiality of your

cosmos -- conjures

a

light

that encompasses my

body, guiding

me

to

brightness.

compassion as my compass, what

a

gift

to be

received

by

you

+

what

a

gift

to meet

you

again

in all times, in all

places, traveled--wonderment of

loneliness felt

so

sullen, so

sunken.

enshrouded in a

void of missing

you

in

those

lifetimes, with your

presence

known---

---never crossing

paths, until

a

new

cycle.

dying

and

transcending

in solitude.

here

you

are

now

heart chambers opened to

find

your face

beaming

beyond

me.

like a cloud,

dense

with dew and

thunder.

transcendant

s p o r e s, light (e) ning

--rain that gives

gifts and bears

water

that wells

my

wrought

ravines.

roots reach for

your

waters, birthed from

your

heavens. radiating

into

blossoms, butter f l i e s

&

b e e s.

fluttering

into

nectar... sweet honey

dripping

softly

into

spheres.

regaling in

your reception --

reverent

in

your

reflection.

what

a blessing to be with

you

in

this

life

...

Thank you for extending your heart in hand, ambling amongst the stars to find me.

[mugen-love]

i have lept into the fire, fur singed and sullied, heart still and sinking into sonder. wanting to be held inside softness, where I can become a shadow on the surface of my mother. she has a dark side, only to be seen by those who have died before… those who have been silenced and unseen, and those who feel the tide within themselves when reborn as the moon.

will you willingly leap into my waters? depths—surpass the lights that blink in absolute darkness. adaptions—birthed beyond fathom and born from the molding of feel of yellowed clay and the womb of the black egg.

[mugen-love]

tonight—

the moon is new and

nestles beside my

body.

the stars seem

brighter & gregarious

tonight…

[mugen-love]

My heart sings loudly, as

the blue rushes in. Filling the earth with

salted water that feels like blood

running through my veins.

Simplicity sits beside me, listening and

nothing more—

nothing less.

I am comforted by the hues of blue that

emit a Serein Serenade, where sounds of

drops&drifts move like

moons in search of mirrored molecules.

The Bluest Hue, reminds me of moments when I feel I’m being consumed by a cloudless sky. I am comforted by your capaciousness, eased by your enigmatism.

The Bluest Hue feels like I’m falling with no fear… floating into fate.

[mugen-love]

\\ mirrors // _ [ .001]

Slopes are silent as they slant into the Earth, with their tongues tied in the turbines that sit upon the peak. “We live in such strange times, where we can only harness the elements by external means. How we’ve lost touch...”

Rivets and striations show the aging of water meeting land, the tissue that has amassed memory and the taste of a soft palette. We gestate all our surroundings as her voice comes in ripples that vibe into our bodies--unfelt and unrecognized by most, because we move too fast, too haphazardly, too unconsciously. 

“But how can we connect back with Her and how does She speak to us?”

“She is lives and breathes as we rise and sleep with the Sun. We tend to forget that She is a part of us and she speaks to us in every moment, every day, and every dream. We are not separate from everything she embodies, as we are learning to full embody our Self.”

I’ve looked upon your frazzled wounds, that you lick when you cry yourself to sleep. I’ve spat at your callous words that inflict pain and suffering upon all, especially yourself. I’ve cried when I noticed you in the corner, with no where else to go, and your were wrapped around your knees--thinking there was nothing else left for you.

Reflect and remember that I am as much of you as you are me, stepping into the Mirrorworld, all I see is my face morphed and enmeshed with yours on the other side... my body caught between the glass, cut in half and permeating like paint into and unto you. We’ve now become blended, turned another color... a soft and rounded red, purity and joy. Bleeding the same as any blood would, we  share the spectrum of Death and I breathe my last breath.

My body folds into itself and spins into a brightened core, forming from chaos and burning until I can recognize myself once again. 

[mugen-love]

I’ve come to love myself in ways that resemble the Moon finally meeting the Sun. I’ve come to love myself in ways the feel like my body is enveloped in the salted serenity of the ocean. I’ve come to love myself when I look at another and am full of smiles shining, because I see their beauty as a reflection of all.

I’ve come to love myself because I care for each petal that has frilled its way to feel towards the sky. I’ve come to love myself because I’ve been reminded to water myself.

Water me as I water you.

I love you just as I love me.

[mugen-love]

[mugen-love]

My Flesh Has Grown to Ghost // 癲狂 (edition II + [2021])

I feel that hollow cavity within my curling chest and imagine how deep the pit goes. Feet dangling--toes clamoring the inside walls that curve with my body. I feel myself gripping the edges, dirt beneath my fingernails and pebbles scraping the palms of my skin. There is no place for my grip to guide me. My nose peers over my knuckles and I cannot help but glance down a hole so black, heaving vertigo waves in.

Every time I take a breath, I am weighted by the Soul of my own foot. Pressing upon my sternum, gazing back at me, reflecting a sense of dissonant concern. The force compresses my ribcage and I barely flinch. I hold the feeling of my own body being clutched, because I cannot comprehend that this hurts more within me than without.

 My eyes, pressed shut, the salted drop rims the edges of my lid and pools at the tips of my lashes. My lips and heart tighten, my nose stinging because I cannot cry in front of myself. My body grows heavier as silence forms… deepening with every gasp. Each drop drips from my face, falling down into a place with no form, no feeling. I do not hear it hit the ground as the silence is deafened by my holden breath.

A strange calm encircles, although my body is vibrating with frenzy and my ears ring into nothing. All I can hear is my heart pounding in my cheeks as each finger loses touch. One. By. One. The tips slip and my mind drifts into another space as I fall into the black all around me. 

I know this is no dream...

The pinhole of light wanes smaller and smaller, until the density of the hole caresses my spine. I smile back at me and finally give in.

 My body has been dissolved of form. Complete darkness still surrounds and I feel something gently embrace me--a feeling of tenderness, familiarity, and warmth. As if becoming newly born, my vision is blurred monochrome and I begin to see shape. A cerulean sun sets behind the blinking trees, barely beaming through the edges of the forest, where slate and sapphire leaves fall. I hear a distant laughter, the pulse drumming into me, echoing into a lapis sky. 

I feel you all around me, like a celestial cloud of dust, glistening and giggling, the wind takes us and we spiral up into the ether. We slowly coalesce into a vortex, weaving into the fabric. I glimpse down back into myself and peer into the black behind me. Just before I fade into transparency... I feel my flesh has grown to ghost.

[mugen-love]

My Flesh Has Grown to Ghost // 癲狂

I feel that hollow cavity within my curling chest and imagine how deep the pit goes. I feel myself gripping the edges, dirt beneath my fingernails and pebbles scraping my skin. My nose peers over my knuckles and vertigo sets in. Gazing into the black hole that looks as if there’s no end. Every time I take a breath, I am weighted by the Soul of my own foot that is pressed upon my sternum. My ribs compress and I barely flinch. Holding the feeling of my body being clutched because I cannot comprehend that this feeling hurts more within me than on the out.

My eyes, pressed shut, the salted drop rims the edges of my lid and pools at the tips of my lashes. Heavier they grow as the silence forms. Each drop lets go from my face and drips down into a place with no form. I do not hear it hit the ground as the silence is deafened by my breath being held, my body clawing for air. My mouth is dry and the sound of my head pounding is only heard by the bones between my skull. 

There is a strange calm that encircles, although my body is responding with frenzy. I have become familiar with this feeling, that there is no one here to help me process, except to find comfort in how deep this shadow goes. 

Where is that feeling of someone holding me, releasing all the brainly functions to make me feel safe? My mind drifts into another realm, somewhere farther than where I am now. With the weight of my body, finger by finger, limb by limb, my body slowly draws into the pit. My mind is awake, but every cell in me is asleep, unconscious and resisting against my instinct to fight the free-fall. I give in. The night light from the top of the hole is almost gone, small as the nail of my pinky, I have no panic left in me. I fall and fall until I know this is no dream. Caressed by all the black around me, I feel no cold or fear, and my eyes flutter closed.

A momentary lapse and I am no longer here or somewhere over there. This memory plays like a zoetrope, hazy and looping around, as a final thought lingers before it’s gone: Maybe I am not me? 

My hand is held as steps take us through a setting forest, sun barely beaming through the edges where leaves fall. We skip and laughter is a distant echo, the pulse that drummed inside my grasp, fades with the dimming sky. I glimpse down at the hand clasped in mine, my face smiles faintly. The blue that bleeds within my palm, fades into transparency, and right before the wheel goes round... my flesh has grown to ghost.

[mugen-love]

the Crown that sits atop the head of a spinning Sun

pt. I

Hello Mother: 

I have flown amidst your mountain peaks and sank between your valleys, sobbed into your rivers and swam within your ravines. I have cascaded onto your ocean floors and sunk into your blue seas–where clear creatures light and blink to speak through spectrums. I have coiled in your deserts and hidden within the changing dunes that follow the seas of sand, rattled with your resonance and hum the hearth of your fire. You are as iridescent and resinous as the womb of the night’s sky, formless within the blackness of your belly… I emerge from the center of the mound, carrying my consciousness in the caverns of my chest. 

pt. II

Encased in an ethereal film of spindled fibers, clarity cocooning our metamorphosis, suspended in the sublimity of Nothingness. We are swathed within a Mother’s capaciousness, to look up at the sky, eyes flickering, smelling the insatiable salinity of the water’s depths. We walk amongst the water’s surface and can choose to swim or wade because we cannot sink—we can solemnly soar. 

High and mighty, we feel the condensation of every cumulus, coursing through the spine of Atlas’ cold and crisp breath. Eyes singed by the radiance of the Sun and calmed by the flares of our daystar. When the eye of heaven’s heat dims, its subtle song seeps into my pores and I float down to the ridges of its back. Along the vanes of the vulture’s wing, the dew drops dance as the sharp wind cuts the drop smaller, yet smaller. Edging closer to the final trail’s tip…it detaches— floating and frozen in a moment, before becoming fully, its own.

Sun rays glisten and pierce into a prism of the hydrous sphere, illuminating all that exists within this globe. Osmotically speaking to each orbit within my body, I am reminded of the microcosmic brilliance that lives beyond this one drop of liquid. I am a system, as solar as the Sun and as magnetized as the Moon. The planets that ellipse inside me are in search of equilibrium, a sense of home-eo-static existence, transmitting it’s final call.

Breath full of intent as time’s illusion delves into a decrescendo… where space is felt and matter cannot be seen. The rising questions of self-revolution, sowing seeds, cultivation and care–allow our cells to evolve, soil and crusts beneath our soles, to soften and heal. 

Each internal orbit, simultaneous and effervescent, bubble--as the immense heat from the outer atmosphere wanes and punctures the core of the Earth. She cries when we cannot hear Her and spews fire when we do not listen. Magma rolls down Her cheeks as the smoldering tears burn into my flesh. This body is our body, is my body is Her body.  

  pt. III

One eye flutters open, dust of a butterfly’s wing flakes and floats into the dimensional rippling of a mirrorless world. The other eye stays shut—still—unwilling to awake into the state of our currency. The Other remains safe and unopened, until the opaque transmutes to opulence.

I can feel my consciousness shifting with the clarity of my vision—my body becomes rooted into the ground, my back cooled by the serenity of the soil. Ridges of my back breathe with the growing grass that cushions my vertebrae… ribs forming fibers and ossifying with the minerals that lay beneath the surface. A breeze lifts up my lashes and serenades the blades of flora around me, they tickle my cheeks and soothe my skin. Small ants and aphids crawl along the creases of my elbow and the hairs on my legs--toes curling as something flies by the soles of my feet. I feel caressed by the Earth and Air around me.

Everything that enters this chamber, devolves before my eyes, reverting to its original form. The life within this microcosm is reverting to simplicity. Outside, everything moves quickly. As I lay immobile and encapsulated in the aqueous fluid of this transparent vessel, the fluid fills the space until I am immersed in its watery substance, enough where I am floating. Although I try to speak, there is no sound, only the remnants of its echo–vibrating and pulsating throughout my Being with each exaltation.

The corners of the box smooth out and takes shape unto an egg. Earthly Delights dissolve around me and the fluid is instantly drained. Falling, I am dropped into a place where my vision is obscured by clouds. Behind the shuttered lid, colors begin to shift– a hue of vascular warmth meets the curvature of my cornea and a feeling of red proliferates throughout, my heart crunches and cowers as I realize the crushing tidings and trivialities of human existence.

My higher mind compresses the logs of human history and rises into a state of heightened sentience as I rise from the greater embryo... I leave the unknown. Cold sluices take their last cling onto my newborn skin, sliding off with each step onto the warmth of an ascending path. I am ushered to view the lapse of my Sun forming to life from dust, churning into vibrancy, expanding and cooling. Whips of the corona latch onto my limbs as I float to witness the last cycle of the Sol. Gravity pulls me towards its center as I see a Crown that sits atop the head of a spinning Sun, the Crown is devoured by the blackness of the hole that is forming. No longer in fear of what resides on the Other side. I was birthed into the death of my own Sun and I aspire into its breathe, its last breath of darkness.

[mugen-love]

Orange Moon

“I’m an Orange Moon...”

Where my craters create homes for those with hollow hearts and my hands hold the palms of people who have strayed. Faces stay smiling as pyramids protect and protrude— dust from the dawning of secrets surfaces like masks melting.

We glow with ambers, orange and gold. We gleam and glisten with each gift given from the reflection of the Sun—coming through a sliver of the temple tops. Enter each chamber through a single ray, sands swirl within you to create another cosm.

From my core to the clouds, hands encircle one another. Out and in. In and out. From one comes two and two comes three, from three comes all. From all I am reborn into an Orange Moon.

[mugen-love]

something out of nothing

what falls have pitted themselves within the core of the Earth, where light is reflected from the central Sun—by way of tunnels and mirrors that glow like the nourishment that drips from the dew of the morning Moon. I curl into myself with arms wrapping around and around, and around and around—but nothing has been reached and nothing has been resolved. I am but still broken from pieces of past that still sit in my skin. They have settled and sunken along with my eyes down to my toes, where will I grow from here?

[mugen-love]

Softness.

I feel softer and more understanding, yet the nervousness is still fluttering within the tributaries of my body—like water that is rising from the centers of the earth, still finding its way in order to oxygenate and become a vessel for life on the surface world. We are but gentle creatures, coursing in and out of another realm... where my feelings are fluid and my face is scarred from the burdens of humanity. Society had deemed itself, “able to evolve” and revolve into the next cycle. Remembering my emotions and my intuition as my strong suit. Knowing who I am and what I’ve had to do to get here. Knowing who and what I deserve as a woman that has overcome her own battles—we have all lost and been mistaken, but have we been able to learn and repeat these patterns?

Who and how do I feel comfortable with people around me? In what way do I need to change my perspective and my approach to the me that has yet to come? Sit with yourself and really determine what it is you want. Sit and connect to what is real to you. What do you want to allow and what do you need to let go of?

I am not compromising or settling for anything less than what I deserve. At this point, this is a battle between me and myself, what I’m able to recognize and catch. What I know is my own and what is foreign. Strength and sacrifice for what beliefs are to be had, remembering our higher purpose and what we are here for. It’s exponential and clear, rooting in all the aspects of where the future of who we are is walking towards. There is so much light that illuminates even the darkest of caves, where the hermit ruminates and the bats become enlightened.

[mugen-love]

direction and demise of tried time within.

hold me captive like a thralled 

tyrant that only exists within his tiny kingdom--full

of martyrs and liars, deceivers and receivers of none. I am

meant to do this on my own, with no help from those who claim big

and small. for all who walk this path shall be torn from limb

and logic. living with past promises that

defeat. i am truly beat from

bone [to] bust

i trust no and one shall know who I be.

[mugen-love]

I find solace in feeling...

I feel the ruminations of your

right 

brain. Where love of 

light and light of 

love shine like a 

shimmer atop the 

ripple within an ocean. Where,

I,

succumb to the 

senses of flesh and

blood, there is 

nothing 

left but the flood 

that once

was. 

My ark floats 

high 

above the 

whale who croaks

below, bellowing 

a beckoning for 

beauty in bubbles that

echo in his 

belly. To 

resonate from

center, upward 

and

outward. His 

heart 

seeks a memory of 

mantras 

molded by the 

reefs. Lungs 

creeping 

with coral, forming

microbes 

and mudras that 

meld with the 

mind of the

deep. 

I find

solace 

in feeling...

that you 

are.

[mugen-love]

Lingering feels...

He has felt a great canyon collapse within his chest, a tantalizing fire sparked, crackling within his heart. The flames gestating the insufferable memories of a metabolic mind, soot and sorrow seeped from his pores and out from his skin. Embedded in each drop, a chiming chill from another form beads along his brow. As it courses down the bridge of his nose, it remembers itself--the past and pain that lives within each droplet. Only one drip to drop, to detach and to let go. Destined to be as dark as the star, as damned as the dwarf that whitens my world. Shining its swarming stillness around the density of my desire. Here is my Garden of Eden, where the fruit that lies forbidden is only the fruit of fruition.

[mugen-love]

...howl

if a heart had gone and flown

with the feathers, that bound its 

life within each filament. there would be no

time to tell, when space had

fallen. to fly among starlight and to dance

among dwarfs. some were red and some were

white. whistling with the wind, they drew all that was

bright. mothers and mystics revere the 

rapture to come, with clairvoyance and 

calm, we collide inside the coming.

if a heart had gone and drifted

along the tide of the cosmic

ocean, with every break would come a

birth, that spanned the spool of

sound. to bellow from the belly of the 

beast full of fondness, it echoes from the

depths of a distant and delicate 

door. with a winding and wild

will, there spins the wheel of

welcome. with wings as dark as

midnight and minds as empty as

emotion. there stirs a tiny flame

as fervent as a fire, one that cannot be

subdued by simple sapphires and Gold.

if a heart had been gone and

scorched, by a burn that singed the

flesh. there would be no place for these

bodies, that hold us within. some are fast and some are

fleeting, awkward as they are fickle, their flare does not

fire far. find the Force within, who wakes with warm

affection. adaptable and amicable, the cold has now

departed.

this fire that dwells within the

heart, burns as bright as a 

conjuring cure. it takes all that does not

feel and feeds the ember until It has 

evolved. to be baked and to be

blessed among the ashes of an

archangel. He who wears an amber closely and

carefully, tied tightly around

his neck.