Im So Unwell 𓆏

Ope

[grootficguy]

i tried explaining to this girl at a party once how i could be gay and asexual at the same time and it basically boils down to never being into anyone but like once a year i’ll find a man attractive. and she was like “so what am i if i only like girls, and i’ve never found any of my boyfriends attractive and and i just wanna do cocaine all the time?” i was like “you’re a lesbian with a coke addiction?” and she was like “woooooah”. she broke up with her boyfriend that night and had a threesome with two girls in the bathtub. rebecca if you’re out there, i hope you’re going places. well, not far, since you’re electronically tagged. but spiritually.

[not-lupus]

he's quoting hamilton pre-hamilton

[loumandivorce]

devestating news for you

[malcolm-f-tucker]

[frogadir]

[peppermoths]

does anyone want to see a really good picture of my kitty cat

[peppermoths]

[cheddar-baby]

not a cat, first off

[cheddar-baby]

snale

[gumy-shark]

oh, no, you misunderstand me. those were my monkeys. yeah the circus and i have since parted ways. yeah it was the elephant thing, i dont really want to address that right now though

[i-will-write]

how i sleep knowing i write shitty fiction but at least don’t use chatgpt

[the-haiku-bot]

how i sleep knowing

i write shitty fiction but

at least don’t use chatgpt

Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.

[vulpinesaint]

saying "question mark?" and "however comma," out loud are game changers. punctuation on the go. and it's always the funniest thing that anyone around you has ever heard

[peartrees]

tumblr should have an ” i feel u” button on posts

[alexaloraetheris]

[silly-moth-123]

This is one of the few posts with more reblogs than likes

[dogplexwoof]

ah! didnt see u there! u caught me indulging in one of my most fascinating interests as of late. its called a "dictionary". *turns page and softly chuckles* oh, this is clever...

[dogplexwoof]

BRO

[valtsv]

wore my thigh high boots on a walk today and we had to take a path through some long grass and while everyone else was rolling their pants into their socks and putting on jackets to protect themselves from ticks i was standing there smug as hell in my thigh high leather boots.

[valtsv]

a hoe never gets lyme disease

[perditionsflames]

[hcnnibal]

just got back into gardening so i’ve forgotten. are basil leaves supposed to be this big

[hcnnibal]

am i the problem

[mousegirlheart]

op are you a hobbit

[butt-berry]

Me in the club

[battle-institute-deactivated202]

Haha aww, I wonder what cute little Pokemon her parents left for-

[genocidaltophattedoharo]

is cynthia her mom what

[pokemonheritageposts]

Pokemon Heritage Post

[depsidase]

[depsidase]

[stumbling-buzz]

[humphul-deactivated20241215]

funny story i know this guy who at the adventurous age of 12 and fruitfully in more ways than one tried sucking his own dick until he at a terminal moment got a sudden sharp and excruciating pain in his back that caused him to flop violently horizontal on his bed and conclude that he couldn't move. he then spent the next half an hour crying about his impending lifetime of quadraplegia and trying to concoct a plausible story for how he broke his back naked in bed and covered in cum. then i calmed down and realized i could in fact move

[humphul-deactivated20241215]

i mean he

[another-one-bites-the-chipaguasu]

[harajuno]

For moksha guys