da brat

soft angelic cancer baby.

[mulabby]

the only validation I care about is the one from myself no else’s opinions matter to me because it’s my life.

[mulabby]

creating the life you want sounds easy until you realize you really have to lock in to create everything you want no matter the circumstance

[landsccape]

[petewentz-]

It's fun being queer and weird and unconventional until you remember you live in a society

[beyondtheblueperiods]

Will I ever be seen or truly heard?

The other day I was talking with someone I consider a close friend, but halfway through I suddenly had this awful feeling — like the whole conversation was just performative, something to pass the time, and that nothing I was saying was actually being listened to or understood with the emotion I was expressing.

It’s not like I was sharing anything dramatic, but have you ever had that gut feeling that no one really cares about anything you say?

That feeling where you speak, but instead of listening, the other person is just waiting for their turn so they can start talking about themselves? That’s exactly how it felt.

It’s the feeling of realizing you’re worth nothing in that moment. Like you’re only a vessel for them to talk about their own emotions, without them considering yours or what you were saying before.

Sometimes I wonder if anyone will ever see me for who I really am — not as a daughter, not as a friend, not as a partner, but as an individual with real feelings.

Am I the problem?

Is it that I surround myself with self-centered people, or have I isolated myself so much that it’s hard for anyone to actually care about me?

I’ve thought about this for a long time. But honestly, wouldn’t you want to listen carefully to someone who has never fully expressed themselves once they finally find the confidence to do it?

Maybe I’m so sensitive because I never had anyone to open up to as a child. I was always the mature one, the responsible one, the golden child who followed all the rules and tried to make my parents proud. In the end, I became nothing but an empty shell — someone who pretends not to need validation, yet still needs it to feel like all their effort and striving is worth something.

Now, years later, I feel like I’m nothing. I don’t know who I am, and I struggle to motivate myself. I feel trapped between self-hatred and self-centeredness. A lost soul with no identity who’s just performing — and when you think about it, it feels pathetic.

But it’s all I’ve ever known.

What does it even mean to be seen or heard?

To be seen is to be recognized and understood for who you truly are. To be heard is to have your inner thoughts and perspectives acknowledged. Both rely on respect and a level of understanding where your feelings and thoughts are accepted.

However, I’ve never felt that.

I’ve always been different, both in good and bad ways. I talk so much, but no one actually listens. I’ve sacrificed so much for people who don’t value it, because I’m not the person they want sacrifices from. I’ve shared my likes and desires, only for the people around me to know nothing about me. It makes me angry. It makes me close off. It makes me isolate myself — and in turn, I never know anything about them either.

The deepest form of love is to be truly seen and heard, but I’ve never been seen. I’ve never been heard. Does that mean I’ve never been truly loved?

It haunts me.

[witchtearsinght]

me fr

[mulabby]

.

[miamor999]

(´・ω・｀) more gyaru gifs…

[sailorsenshigifs]

[thevirgodoll]

I’m 22 and up until last year I thought being sexy and having sex appeal meant fitting the male gaze. But I learned that my lack of sex appeal is really connected to my lack of confidence. How do I learn how to be sexy without feeling like I’m doing it for male attention?

1. Sex appeal is all about what’s within you. Feeling sexy is a state of mind. It’s about fostering a connection with yourself and becoming comfortable with yourself. Think about why that connection is broken and start from there. Start journaling your progress or at least documenting what has happened or changed to make the connection to your divine self weaker.

2. Affirm yourself by looking and smelling good. Create a beauty routine and stick to it (skincare, hair, body). Wearing perfume is more sensual than you think. Picking out a hot outfit does more for you than you think. Know that you’re looking good for yourself and not anyone else. Buy yourself lingerie for only you to see. Eventually, without lingerie, you can still learn to feel sexy because of how you are programmed to feel about yourself. I can feel sexy in a tank and leggings with no problem.

3. Accentuate your best features and know them. Become appreciative of what your best features are. Admire yourself in the mirror. Take time doing your makeup and really appreciate your face — even if you aren’t going anywhere. Take time moisturizing your body, getting dressed, and looking at yourself in a full length mirror. Developing a positive body image means you appreciate your body’s value. Let yourself know who YOU are so YOU don’t forget, that way nobody else will.

4. Become fully in touch with yourself. Disconnect from what other people think. If you have to turn off notifications on Instagram then so be it. It’s not about what other people think, it’s about what you think. Yoga can help you become more in tune with yourself and block out outside noise. Meditation can as well. There are different kinds of meditation, and plenty guided apps and videos. I personally meditate with yoga.

Speaking of social media, be conscious of the content you consume that can make you feel less sexy. Inspire yourself with high value content so you can focus on you and how you feel.

5. Set goals. By reading what I’ve just said write this down now: “This week I will appreciate my body. This week I will become more comfortable with my sex appeal. This week I will remind myself how irresistible I can be.”

6. Treat yourself like royalty. Eat your favorite foods. Take a long bubble bath or relaxing shower. Spoil yourself by buying things you’ve wanted for a long time. Self love. Light some candles to set the tone of your space — for yourself and by yourself. The more you relax from day to day, the easier it’ll be for you to feel sexy and it’ll come natural. Turn on some sensual music and just let loose on your own.

You have the knowledge already. Now it is just time to do the work and follow through. Commit to yourself and the rest will fall into place. You have to work at yourself religiously. Your most important relationship is always going to be with yourself.

[mysectionoftheinternet-deactiva]

This!

[flowerymoments]

Gokinjo Monogatari color pages (Ai yazawa)

[artofdyingslowly]

how do you tell someone “i’m not ignoring you i’m just disconnected from reality right now and the days are all blurred together and i feel completely apathetic towards everyone/everything around me so it’s really hard for me to maintain a conversation” without saying that

[scrumptiousangst]

Brain broken. Still like you. Talk later

[paulfrankjuliusthemonkey]

i'm going to make a life i love even if it's not the one i expected or thought i wanted. and i am going to let myself be proud and grateful of what i do have. i am allowed to be proud of it without other people realizing gravity of what i have accomplished in scale to my life and abilities. i do not need permission.

[roguetraders]

Devon Aoki at Loewe FallWinter 2002

[warpyazagaku]

Parallels:

Mariko// Chanel spring-summer 1995.

[probablyasocialecologist]

The Ecological Imagination of Hayao Miyazaki

A Retrospective on Four Fantastical Worlds.

As a mediator between the human and more-than-human world, the titular heroine is bound by duty to her kingdom’s subjects and also by kinship with the Ohmu, a race of gargantuan and empathic larval insects that periodically rampage across human settlements. As a pilot who reads the wind and an ecologist who searches for connections, Nausicaä employs sense and science in equal measure to unlock the mysteries of a world that both offers her solace and threatens her kingdom. Working in her underground study and secret garden, she cultivates samples of fluorescent molds and luminous flora from the toxic jungle with unpolluted soil and water drawn from deep wells. In so doing, she discovers that the life-forms are not poisonous, but rather the land they grew from. Over the course of her journey, Nausicaä learns that the toxic jungle is nature’s attempt to purify the landscape, absorbing the contaminated fallout from the collapse of industrialized civilization a thousand years ago, transmuting it over centuries into inert crystal sand.

The 1984 film version of Nausicaä of the Valley of the Wind ends abruptly, on a happy note of coexistence between the kingdom and the toxic jungle. But there exists another version of Nausicaä, a graphic novel Miyazaki began before the film and finished more than a decade later, that reflects a more complicated and nuanced philosophy. After a thousand-plus pages, Miyazaki ends his eco-saga with the statement, “No matter how difficult it is, we must live.”

Earlier on in this version, at the start of the third act, warring factions have just wielded the toxic jungle as a form of biological warfare against one another. Nausicaä is missing, and much of the human-habitable world has been lost. An airship full of refugees from another kingdom has crashed near the Valley of the Wind, and the villagers debate whether to render aid to those who do not share their language or customs. One wonders what their leader would do. Another answers she would already be in the thick of things, helping with open heart and arms. The Valley people decide to send a messenger ahead, carrying a ring of bread in one hand, an unsheathed sword in the other. A choice. In another exercise of authorial voice, Miyazaki interjects himself into the moment: “In spite of the hard times that followed, the meeting of the Valley people and the Narei Clan was a happy exception in those days of mistrust and conflict.”

[stuckinapril]

learning lately that a lot of confidence is about owning up. like "yeah i'm a little addicted to my phone right now" or "yeah i'm not really over this person yet" or "yeah i still get pretty anxious in crowds" just saying anything at all but then following it up w "but i'm trying to get better" and being super nonchalant and unaffected. so powerful. you would literally be undefeatable in the face of even the most judgmental person. no one can judge you for things you already know about yourself and are trying to improve on. the trick is to know yourself from the inside out, to hold yourself accountable, and to actively improve every day. like that is literally the secret to never feeling like you're at the mercy of somebody else's judgment

[lustrousbratz]

How do I truly become a pink Pilates princess on a budget?

Pink Pilates Princess 101

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* ✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*

When I think of a pink pilates princess, I think of a girly person that romanticized their life in terms of wellness! a lot of people find the phrase annoying but i think it’s fun and cute! Here’s some things you can do to feel more like a pink pilates princess 💞

pic credit: all 3 pics from me posted on my pinterest @ nallyssajones

1. Doing pilates!

There’s mat pilates (only need a mat) and reformer pilates (using a reformer machine). Going to classes multiple times a week can be a tad expensive, so an alternative would be:

A) Signing up for paid subscriptions that have detailed classes for e.g; Alo moves, Pilates anytime, glo etc.

B) Following videos from youtubers that do mat pilates. My fave channels are; Move with Nicole, Sanne Vloet, Dansique fitness (she mostly does hitt pilates videos)

* Yoga is another amazing way to get movement in and feel connected to your body and spirit.

* Go on a hot girl walk! Going on mini walks around your neighborhood or even your house allows you to get some steps in daily.

2. Eating well!

pic credit: my pics posted on my pinterest @nallyssajones

This is different for everyone but here are some ideas that you can add to your diet;

- Drinking green juice

- Try out yogurt bowls! It's my favourite breakfast food because it's easy to make and can be very nutritious depending on what I put into it. I like to add greek yogurt, a nice granola, matcha powder, frozen and fresh berries, pomegranate, ground flax and almonds🫐🍓

- Increasing protein intake. A lot of people have tried to eat 1 g per each lb that they weigh daily and have felt really good. My fellow anemic girlies, please increase your protein intake if you can!

- Taking your vitamins/supplements! get a blood test done to see what you’re deficient in and research supplements that might be helpful for you personally.

3. Finding cute workout+lounge sets

(pic credit: from @ lyssithadoll on ig and twitter)

Working out and going out in cute loungewear and workout sets can make you feel really nice and girly! I like to thrift nice quality brands like lululemon or even purchase specific pieces from depop and poshmark! Amazon is a good place to find sets as well but I would recommend buying high quality secondhand pieces💞 Some good brands to look out for are lululemon, alo yoga, halara and girlfriend collective.

4. Get cute exercise equipment

pic credit: my picture posted on my pinterest and ig @ nallyssajones

Get pink workout equipment if you’d like! Marshalls, dollarama, and amazon sell workout equipment that you can get for $5-$20! I got the pink fila mat in the pic above from marshalls for $19.99:) Here are some equipment ideas:

- yoga mat

- yoga strap

- wrist/ankle weights

- 5 lbs dumbbells

- gym bag

*these things aren’t needed btw! just ideas if you’d like to have more equipment.

5. Practice self care

You can do whatever self care that you'd like but here are some examples that you can incorporate into your life:

- Take a relaxing bath (the book "ritual baths" has amazing bath ideas

- Engage in your favourite hobbies (sports, reading, watching a tv show etc.)

- Spend time with your loved ones

- Take care of your skin and have a routine down. You do not need 15 products but even adding a serum or a spot treatment to your routine can improve your skin!

***************************************************************************************************

I hope that you liked this post! This is all for fun and anyone can be a pink pilates princess 🧚🏾💞