Hi!! So, this is a great question, where did I go? I’ve thought about posting here again, but I’ve felt like maybe I’ve lost my touch or it’s weird if I post here again after all this time.
I made this account about 7 years ago, when I was 16 years old, because I was passionate about fan fiction. While I posted my character x character fan fictions elsewhere (ff dot net and then eventually AO3), I found myself really interested in character x reader fan fictions here on tumblr, and wanted to write them. I started off with a Supernatural x reader account (I’m autistic, it was my special interest at the time) and then I moved here once I started really hyperfixating on Gotham, Legends of Tomorrow, and Star Wars, which eventually became my most popular fan fiction fandom!!
I started writing as a way to escape from the abuse I suffered from my parents while living at home. I dove into media as a way to pretend I was somewhere better, and was SOMEONE better, but ultimately I just had so many feelings and ideas to share and wanted to write, not only for myself, but for other people who could relate to it as well. I gained a bit of popularity, and I had people requesting non stop, complimenting my work, and even saying that what I wrote helped them through depression or rough times. It was EXACTLY what I wanted to do, I wanted to provide joy and an escape for people who needed it, just like me.
Thankfully, I moved out of my parents’s house several times, most of them ending up with me having to move back home, but in 2019, I moved permanently and have since cut my parents out of my life, and I haven’t looked back.
I’m 23 now and while I’d love to start writing here again, I feel like I’d be judged or scrutinized for it. As a teenager, I didn’t care, I didn’t have any shame, because fan fiction was considered a “juvenile” or “childish” or “teenage” thing to do. Now, as an adult, I feel like I’d be judged or mocked or laughed at for continuing to write fan fictions that are often indulgent and made with me in mind. I know this is just my anxiety, but truth be told, I have no clue if anyone would want me back. Am I too old? Have I lost my touch? Am I not wanted anymore? Is my writing not good enough now that I’m safe and happy and not needing to use it as an escape? I’m not sure, and I’m a bit scared to find out. I feel like it’s been so long that maybe I should retire the want and need to come back here and write again, but I don’t know. Maybe I should continue on again and find out? I’d say that’s for all of you to decide, but really, it’s for ME to decide.
I do still write character x character fan fictions @ harklesparkle on AO3, but my love and nostalgia for this blog page have not left or ceased to be, and I have such a special place in my heart for this blog and all of the joy it’s given me. Thank you, anon, for asking this, as now I have an excuse to come back here, after all this time, to write how I feel, and maybe make the triumphant comeback I’ve always wanted
Summary: You were a witch who Michael met before the apocalypse, but upon seeing you at Outpost 3, he begins to reminisce of your first meeting, and hopelessly wonders why you don't even remember him now. However, Michael intends to get you back, and to destroy whoever comes in his way in doing so
A/N: I’M BACK LMAO I hope this wasn’t too OOC also I left this open just in case I want to write a part two because I fucking love me some Michael Langdon right now
EDIT: I finally figured out a good enough title for this lmao
Michael Langdon hadn’t been expecting very much when he arrived at Outpost 3. All of the other outposts had essentially been destroyed, and everyone from them were dead, so this was just it, the last remaining bunch of unlucky survivors.
Of course, he arrived with flair; on a horse drawn carriage, hazmat suit clad. The outside world was a barren wasteland, but he wasn’t sure the inside would be much better. Of course, the building itself, that was all too familiar to him, but he was skeptical of this Venable character.
And he had a right to be. Walking in, he of course immediately noticed the vintage garb, which was well too over the top, and of course his very own creation, Ms. Meade, standing beside the fearless leader who ran this Outpost and its operations. But then, suddenly, he saw a glimpse of a face. His heart nearly stopped.
Standing there, in the same extravagant clothes, was you. You, (Y/N) (L/N), someone he never thought he’d ever see again.
He tried to keep calm, to pretend as if every face in this room were a stranger to him, but he couldn’t help but feel his jaw twitch, even if ever so slightly. You didn’t recognize him at all, save for maybe the slightest hint of vague familiarity, but he could tell you had no clue who he was, or else he was sure you would have come rushing to him by now, no matter how anyone else would have reacted.
Because, you didn’t fear anything, and you especially didn’t back down from being with someone. He knew that, because it was him you had been fighting for, until you were gone, taken away from him. So, now the questions of the hour were, why were you here, why weren’t you with Cordelia, and why didn’t you remember him?
He had met you three years ago. You did most of your growing up in Robichaux’s, ever since your family had dumped you there in the middle of the night, when you were just a child. You had accidentally destroyed your entire house with your powers, and your parents were lucky to even survive. They were terrified of you, and so they asked for further guidance from holy men and small shop psychics until they heard about Miss Robichaux’s from a friend of a friend of a friend who told them about witches, and how they were actually real. Despite it being just an Academy and not an orphanage, and at the time them not even being absolutely sure that witches were even real, they lied and said it was your new school, but the moment they let you out of the car, they dropped with you whatever you had left and sped off into the night. You never saw them again. The rain fell hard onto the front steps as you sat beside the door, shivering and crying and trying to keep warm, until eventually Cordelia found you the next morning, half asleep against the wall and holding a soggy note that said “NOT OUR DAUGHTER ANYMORE, YOUR FREAK NOW.”
Since that day, Cordelia taught you everything she knew, and especially since she couldn’t have children of her own, she saw you as her child, as her blood. You stuck by her through everything, as much as a child could, until she eventually became the next supreme. And from that day on, you were well known around the academy as one of the most brightest and powerful witches of her age. You were probably the youngest witch at the academy, as you were barely through normal academic learning, let alone learning about the intricacies of magic. But, you were a fast learner, and most importantly, a truly good soul. Myrtle often described your magic as pure, as the last truly and honestly good magic left, but you were positive that she was just being biased. Yet, you also felt that she was lying. Maybe if you had been better, if you had had more control, your parents would have never left you there, but, you were thankful for Cordelia, and all that she has done for you since you arrived.
One day, during an instruction by Zoe, Myrtle hurriedly bust into the room. She said something of an emergency council meeting at the Hawthorne Academy, and that caught your attention, your ears perking up as you immediately pushed yourself into Cordelia’s view. “I’m going, right? I mean, I know I’m young, but I feel like I could be useful! Please, can I go,” you asked, giving her the sweetest doe eyes that you could muster with pleading effort.
“(Y/N), I’m not sure-” Cordelia began, about to give a pseudo mom speech, until Myrtle cut her off.
“Of course you are dear, if I trust anyone to show a man that she’s better than them, it’s you. Besides, as if Cordelia would leave you out of her sight,” she remarked with a laugh.
Cordelia let out a sigh under her breath, knowing that while yes, she ultimately made the final decision, she knew this could be a good opportunity for you.
“Okay, fine. But, you’re staying by my side, glued to my hip, at all times,” she negotiated, and you nodded in agreement, subtly pulling your fist down in accomplishment.
Arrival at the academy took a few long hours by plane, until you all stepped into the building full of young Warlocks, all trying to do their very best to learn, just as you did. Of course, you knew that they would never be as powerful as you and your fellow witches, but you still wished them all the best. You even wished that you could help.
The council were very….Curt, with you all. Witches and Warlocks seldom got along, this you could tell instantly. But then, as they spoke, you noticed a boy.
You choked back an involuntary gasp as your chest went warm, almost numb, and your heart nearly skipped a beat, quickening in your chest. He was the most beautiful boy you had ever seen, not that you were around many, but even the ones you did see didn’t hold a candle to him. He looked soft, yet mysterious, and he had the most beautiful eyes. He was perfect, in every possible way.
He caught you staring, and before you could look away, the right corner of his lips turned up into a small half smile until the other side slowly crept up as well. It seemed a bit awkward, and a bit nervous, but yet still had a strange aura of confidence behind it. Your brain was jumbled, yet frozen, and you didn’t know what to do until you just kept staring at him like a deer in headlights until you jumped a bit and smiled back, averting your eyes from his gaze to avoid further embarrassment.
Michael was just as stunned by you as you were by him. He thought you were beautiful, warm and sweet and everything he wasn’t. He hadn’t even properly met you, but he couldn’t help but just stare at you, your hand rubbing your forearm anxiously as you stood by who he would soon come to learn was Cordelia.
You learned that his name was Michael. You also learned that he was powerful, maybe even more powerful than you or Cordelia, which was frightening. All of the other witches seemed to reject him, to not want anything to do with him, but deep down, you wanted to give him a chance.
The Warlocks wanted him to take the test of the Seven Wonders. They wanted him to become the next Supreme. You knew that Cordelia was not going to take that well: One, because of course all witches didn’t think a man was capable of it, and two, you knew that Cordelia was definitely pushing for you to eventually take her place. While you didn’t think you had it in you, she did, and reluctantly, everyone else was probably expecting it. Yet, the thought of being Supreme scared you. You didn’t want to lose Cordelia, but also, you weren’t ready for that kind of power.
The council meeting was tense, and full of arguing and bringing up memories of things and people that you could tell were wearing Cordelia down. You kept close to your pseudo mother whenever you could, but you knew that as the supreme, there were things she had to do alone too.
You comforted Cordelia and tried to calm her down, but that boy, Michael, was nowhere to be found. You soon found out why. What seemed like only mere hours later, you stood with Cordelia outside as Michael appeared, but this time, he was with Queenie and Madison, who were thought to be dead. Your stomach dropped, as he stared at you all so confidently, so matter of factly.
The stress was too much for Cordelia, and she dropped. You dropped down onto your knees beside her, gasping on your way down. “Cordelia?! Cordelia?! Mom?!” you said, trying to keep her propped up and off the ground. You stared at Michael, and his expression changed a bit upon locking eyes with you. Who was he? And how did he do this?
You all had brought Cordelia inside, but despite her condition, you quickly turned and embraced Queenie. “I missed you,” you said, and she returned the hug, nearly crushing you.
“I missed you too kid, listen, if anyone ever tells you to stay at the Hotel Cortez, it just isn’t worth it, trust me,” she joked, and you laughed until Madison gawked at you before speaking.
“Holy shit, (Y/N), is that you? How the fuck long was I in Hell for? Seriously, you have boobs now, what the shit?” she said, staring you up and down.
“That’s how puberty works, missed you too Madison,” you said dryly, a small, albeit sort of fake, laugh following.
Cordelia awoke soon after, and she told you about her vision, about the white faced demon, about everything.
But, as a surprise to you all, she agreed to let Michael take the test of the Seven Wonders. She said her power was already fading, and you felt your stomach drop again. You didn’t think you’d have to think about this day for a long time. You made sure to hug her extra hard when all was said and done, and yet, you still couldn’t help but think of that Michael boy.
In two weeks, he was taking the test of the Seven Wonders. Immediately, you rushed to find him, and you tapped him on the shoulder to get his attention.
“Thank you…. For saving my sisters. Well, they’re not my real sisters, but you know. Witch sisters. I guess, my fellow Coven members, you could say. I know we’re not supposed to be on the same side, but I genuinely do wish you luck,” you said, and he gave you another smile.
“Thank you, and saving your friends wasn’t entirely just an act of kindness. More like, proving myself, you could say.” He paused, trying to think of what to say next. “You know who I am, but tell me, who are you? What’s your name?”
You didn’t even realize you hadn’t introduced yourself. “Oh, of course, how could I forget. I’m (Y/N), (Y/N) (L/N), and (Y/N) Goode to some. Cordelia is…. Not technically my mother, but she sort of is? It’s complicated….” You mustered out a dry chuckle to avoid awkwardness, but he just nodded, hanging on your every word and listening intently.
“Well, (Y/N), would you like to take a walk with me? I’m new to Hawthorne myself, but I’d love to show you around, that is, of course, if you’re not leaving any time soon,” he said, offering you an arm.
“Cordelia will want to know where I am….” you began, looking around for any sight of her. “But…. Sure. Yes.” You took his arm, allowing him to lead the way.
You both talked the whole way there, about life, about having powers. You told him about your parents and how you didn’t really have any family except Cordelia, and he shared the same sentiment, telling you of his own mother figure who he came to love as his own family.
The hours passed, until you saw the time on a wall clock and nearly choked on your gasp. “Oh my God, I should really be going, Cordelia is going to have my head-” You turned to run, but he stopped you, grabbing your forearm loosely.
“Wait,” he breathed, looking at you intently. “Will I see you again?” he asked, and you could tell there was a sincerity in his voice, one that you didn’t expect to hear. It was almost longing.
“Yes. Yes, of course,” you reassured, grinning from ear to ear. “I’ll be seeing you as much as I can, Michael Langdon,” you said, and you turned to leave once more, but right before you broke his grasp, you turned back again, leaning forward and planting a small kiss between the corner of his mouth and his cheek. “For luck. See you soon.”
And with that, you ran off, leaving Michael alone in the hall you had made your way to. He didn’t know why, but he felt something. He felt a warmth in his chest, one that he had never quite felt before. It wasn’t like the feeling he got when he killed, or when he was using his power, no, it was much different, much lighter. He didn’t know it yet, but you were a light that flickered on deep inside of him, a light he didn’t even know was capable of being there. And while of course, he’d do anything to fulfill his destiny, he couldn’t help but still feel this warmth, for someone he barely knew. He tried to shake it off, to convince himself he’d gut you if it meant getting closer to what he needed, but unfortunately, he’d soon learn that this was not at all true.
He didn’t know that he was going to fall deeply in love with you, and that strangely, you’d fall deeply in love with him too.
Michael was pulled out of his trance by the chatter and the commotion of Outpost 3, and as he introduced himself and explained his purpose, he was only focused on you, on why you were here, on what happened to you, on why you didn’t remember him.
You approached him, and your voice sent a jolt through him. “Mr. Langdon, it’s a pleasure to meet you. I do hope you find some comfort in the Outpost, we’re only 18 months in and it can be…. Stressful, sometimes.”
He just gave you a confident, yet friendly grin, but one that had powerful emotion behind it. In his eyes, behind his lips, lie love. Loss. Passion. Fury. Malice. A thirst for revenge.
He had an idea of who did this to you. The one person who tried to forbid you from seeing him. You own “mother,” of all people. Cordelia Goode.
Oh, Cordelia Goode would not get by so easily. As long as he breathed, as long as he lived, and as long as he could speak your name from his lips, and remember how sweetly you spoke to him, how kind you were, how truly remarkable you were, he would find her. He would exact his revenge. Cordelia Goode would pay. She would pay no matter what the cost happened to be. You would remember him, that he was sure he would accomplish. But taking down Cordelia, that was now his mission. He repeated those three words in his head, like a burning incantation, fueling the fire in his chest.
Cordelia Goode would pay. And that she would. And he would absolutely make sure of it.
Hey guys, I tried to write some stuff tonight but I got writers block and honestly I’m also really depressed, I’m sorry I couldn’t get any requests out, I’ll try and finish them all tomorrow, I’m sorry I get like this all this all the time, I love you guys a lot and again I’m really sorry, sometimes I just get into moods like this but really I’m trying my best to write all the stuff you guys requested <33
Request: “I just discovered your blog and i loved the Doctor who preferences! Could you do another set eith the modern doctors like this? Any of the following themes would nice! How they comfort you How they act with you being short How they would cuddle with you”
Thank you for the compliment!! I haven’t done anything Doctor Who related in quite a while!! I got a lot of inspiration from the first theme you listed, but if you want me to do the rest I can!!
9th Doctor:
Nine didn’t really seem like the “comfort” type all that much, but he could tell when you were upset and when you needed someone to be there for you. “Alright, what’s got you all down?” he’d say, and then he’d probably throw out a few jokes or snide comments out there to make you laugh. He’d give advice, but he’d be a bit more curt, yet still, you could tell he cared.
“Cheer up, (Y/N), what’s the use moping around when we still have the whole galaxy to see?”
10th Doctor:
Ten would notice your odd behavior immediately, and he would go into full nurturing mode. He would be the most physical, wrapping you into a hug and petting your hair, asking you what’s wrong. He’d be there for you to let everything out, and you would. “It’s okay, I’m here,” he’d say, making sure to be quieter, to not overwhelm you. He hated seeing you sad or upset, because it made him feel that way too, but he wanted you to trust him enough to be able to rely on him during moments like this.
“I know everything seems rough now, but I’m here for you, (Y/N), my amazing and brilliant (Y/N). I just want to see you smile again.”
11th Doctor:
Eleven would take a bit longer to notice you were feeling down, Hell, you might have to outright tell him. The moment he knew, his face would drop for a second, but then he’d light up. “Hang on, I have an idea....” he’d say, racing around the Tardis. “(Y/N), anywhere in the world, anywhere in time and space, where do you want to go?” You’d be taken aback by the sudden question, but the first thing you said he’d immediately take you to. He’d take you around everywhere you wanted to see, everywhere you wanted to go, everyone you wanted to meet, until you forgot about why you were even upset in the first place. “Feeling better?” he’d ask, and when you nodded, he’d wrap you up in a big hug, squeezing you tightly.
“See? Chin up, (Y/N), it’ll all be okay, I’ll make it okay. I’d take you everywhere in the galaxy if it meant seeing you happy.”
12th Doctor:
Twelve would definitely be the one to sit down and just talk to, but he’d also be a bit like Eleven, wanting to take your mind off of the situation. He’d let you get it all out, whilst giving reassuring shoulder or head pats, and then he’d tell you to get dressed, taking the Tardis to your favorite destination. “Now, how’s about we have a good time,” he’d say, watching your face go from sadness to pure excitement. You’d throw yourself onto him in the biggest hug, dragging him out to have the best night on the town that a time travelling alien could give you.
“No matter what, I’m with you, during the ups or the downs, but I won’t lie, (Y/N), I’d much rather see you happy.”
I think so but it needs to be updated haha, it should just be like multifandomxreaders.tumblr.com/masterlist I need like a new theme or to recode because I know it used to be in like a sidebar of some sort
Okay, so I'm going to be going into some spoilers, but I'll put it under a cut once I'm on my computer and will tag for spoilers
In The Force Awakens, I found that there was this extreme split down the middle regarding a specific event: Han Solo's death. Some people thought that Han believed he could turn his son to the light and save him, others believed that Han KNEW Kylo was going to kill him and that it was the only way to save his son.
I personally believe in the second theory. You could see it in both of their eyes, Han knew he was going to be killed, Kylo struggled with having to go through with it. Even the way they both held his lightsaber wasn't so much of a Kylo passing it off to him, but Han giving him permission to kill him. It was tragic, and while Kylo thought it would push him to darkness, it only pushed him further to the light.
Now, onto The Last Jedi
We saw that Kylo was extremely hesitant to (attempt to) kill his mother, Leia, to the point where he didn't go through with it. She's his only family left besides Luke, who literally tried to kill him, but she's still leading a resistance against him. She thinks her son is gone at this point, and I'm sure he can feel her lack of hope.
In comes Rey, a girl who has no family, but is loved by everyone around her who has practically just met her. His own family cares for her more than they do him, even his own father, and that kills him. Here is a girl just like him, alone, powerful, and meant for something more than what she has.
But I don't think what they have is romantic, in my eyes. This is in no way ship shaming, I think everyone's interpretations and ships are wonderful, but here's how I take it.
Kylo and Rey both want to not be alone. But most of all, they both are extremely tied to their families. Rey has no idea who her parents are, and Kylo has lost his because of his turn to the dark side. There's no denying their connection, but hear me out. Who else can communicate like that? Who can feel each other? Luke and Leia. Siblings, and powerful ones at that. But Luke and Leia were both very much for the light side. They were morally good, to an extent, and with that there was no balance, and the dark soon fought back for its place.
Now, here's Kylo and Rey, two people desperate for family, to belong somewhere, but this time, they are two opposite forces, one leaning towards the light, and one towards the dark. Together, they could balance the force, and they could make their own family. With Luke dead, and Leia most likely meeting her end in Episode 9, Rey and Kylo will both be without any family. Not only do I think Kylo is going to have a redemption arc, I think that him and Rey will be each other's family, like the sibling the other never had, this generation's Luke and Leia. The story of the original trilogy was all about family. I think for today's generation, a story about finding and making your own family is important. And I think Rey and Ben Solo, brother and sister if only by the force alone, sounds pretty dang cool, and it could bring them both answers, the peace, solace, and happiness they were searching for all along
Hello! I saw that requests were open and i thought I’d send something in! Can I request a star wars imagine? The reader finds out that her parents are getting divorced and it really upsets her? She is dating Kylo and he notices something is up because she is acting different towards him and everyone else. Even Hux is concerned about her and asks Kylo about it. One day, Kylo confronts her about it and she tells him everything and he comforts her at the end? Thanks!
Hello, i wondered if you could write a Sherlock fic with following plot: Reader is an heavily anxious woman who moves in the flat under them. Sherlock deduces that she rarely leaves the flat because of her anxiety and doesnt care about her (when they cross parts per coincidence she runs from him) But it comes to a point where she saves them in a situation they couldnt escape this time, and after this Sherlock is nice to her (he leaves things that she might like on her door)
I haven’t watched Sherlock in so long but I will do my best!!
I just discovered your blog and i loved the Doctor who preferences! Could you do another set eith the modern doctors like this? Any of the following themes would nice! How they comfort you How they act with you being short How they would cuddle with you
Summary: Not realizing you can use the force, in a moment of distress you call out to the man you lost years ago, Ben Solo, now known as Kylo Ren
Warnings: The Last Jedi spoilers!!
Word Count: 1,515
Author’s Note: I just saw The Last Jedi and honestly this is just pure self indulgent shit for my Kylo Ren loving ass so please enjoy!! Also I’m aware that Rey and Kylo only did that because of Snoke like melding their minds or whatever but he could have lied so it’s anyone’s game at this point and I already wrote the whole damn fic so you’re getting it anyway lmao
Summary: Not realizing you can use the force, in a moment of distress you call out to the man you lost years ago, Ben Solo, now known as Kylo Ren
Warnings: The Last Jedi spoilers!!
Word Count: 1,515
Author’s Note: I just saw The Last Jedi and honestly this is just pure self indulgent shit for my Kylo Ren loving ass so please enjoy!! Also I’m aware that Rey and Kylo only did that because of Snoke like melding their minds or whatever but he could have lied so it’s anyone’s game at this point and I already wrote the whole damn fic so you’re getting it anyway lmao
You had always been a bit different. There was something inside of you, something you didn’t even really understand. But you thought that had only drawn you closer to the people you loved most, specifically one other person.
Ben Solo. You met as children. Your parents were friends, part of the Rebellion and all that. You used to play together as younglings, pretending to be Jedi or Rebels or anyone from the stories both your parents told you. You got along well with his mom, and his dad, and even his Uncle Luke, and he was beloved by your family as well. When you were a bit older, you were practically inseparable, glued to the hip whenever you could be. You couldn’t bump into Ben without (Y/N), or (Y/N) without Ben. Even some of the others teasingly called you “Mrs. Solo” or “Ben’s Girlfriend,” which caused your face to flush red every single time.
Then it was time for Ben to train with Luke. You had hugged him so tightly that you didn’t want to let go, but he promised you that you’d see him again and that soon enough, he’d be a real Jedi, just like his Uncle Luke had told him.
One night, you shot up from your bed, your heart racing. You felt pain, fear, sorrow, but most of all, you felt darkness. You could feel flames licking at your skin and you could hear screaming. You found out the next morning about what happened, about what Ben did, and you cried for hours. “Not my Ben,” you kept thinking to yourself, “Not him.”
You saw him since then, but only as Kylo Ren, and only in passing. But then, thanks to a rebel Storm Trooper and a scavenger from Jakku, you saw him again. Through flames and debris, you saw him.
“Ben….” you whispered, reaching out to him, but before you could go any closer, you were lead away by a Resistance fighter.
You saw his eyes. You saw him, you saw your Ben.
Every night since then has been hazy recollections of that night, or of him, his voice, his smile, his laugh. You missed him more than anything or anyone in the entire galaxy.
You tossed and turned in your bed on the Resistance ship. You could see him, and you were running towards him, and he was running towards you, but all of a sudden there was a bright red flash, and just like that he was gone, blown into the wind, and you were all alone in the darkness.
You shot up, screaming “Ben!” nearly loud enough that you woke someone up. You were sweating and your chest was pounding and your hair stood on end. Your chest was heaving from sobs and you felt hot tears pouring down your face, as you just whispered, “Ben” over and over and over again.
You didn’t know that in his own quarters on his own ship, Kylo Ren shot up from his sleep,having the exact same dream, but instead of the darkness, he was alone in a blinding light. He screamed your name just the same, panting and sweating and confused. Then, he heard it. The whispers of his name, his real name, over and over and over again. He could see you now, sitting in the dark by yourself crying, and he swallowed hard. “(Y/N)?” he said hesitantly, looking around his quarters.
You felt your breath hitch when you heard it. You heard your name. You heard him say it. “Oh… Oh my… Ben? Ben is that you?” You were starting to see something now, you could see him.
“I…. Yes. Yes it’s me. I’m not Ben anymore, (Y/N). I don’t even know how you managed to contact me like this when you didn’t even know you were Force sensitive.” He sounded irritated, but slightly compassionate, as if he did actually want to talk to you but was just trying to push you away.
“We’re connected, Ben. You should know that. We’ve always been. I haven’t stopped thinking about you since that day….” You were trying to hold back your tears, but you couldn’t. You were talking to your literal soulmate, someone you were connected to so heavily that you could feel him. You wanted nothing more than to be with him face to face again.
“I know. Honestly, I’ve thought of you every day since…. Since that day too. But you’re with the Resistance. With my mother. With everyone set out to destroy me,” he said bitterly, exhaling sharply through his nose.
“But I don’t want to destroy you. I know you’re still in there, Ben, I can feel it, but I would do anything to see you. If you took me from this ship right now, I’d stay with you. If I can’t even see the one thing, the one person that’s more important to me than anything in the entire galaxy, then what’s the use fighting. What am I fighting for? What hope do I have? You are my hope, Ben. You always have been.” Your heart was racing, and you wondered if his was too.
“I would do anything to see you again,” Kylo admitted softly, swallowing back his fear and letting himself open up to you, even if just a bit. “You’re too good for the Resistance, (Y/N), you’re too powerful. If you joined me, nothing could stop us. We could rule the galaxy, together.” He was desperate now, he wanted you here, he needed you. He didn’t care if you were a weakness to him, if your light side was too powerful, if Snoke would disapprove. He just wanted to finally be with you, in person, once and for all.
“Do you really mean that?” you asked quietly, the reality of the situation now weighing heavy on you.
“Yes. Yes I do. I mean every word I said.” Kylo genuinely meant it. If anyone was going to rule with him, he wanted it to be you. You, who was with him since the beginning, you, who never left his side, you, who still thought about him, even after everything that had happened. When he saw you, before you had been taken away by a Resistance fighter, he wanted to touch you, to hear your voice again, he wanted to beg you to stay with him, to join him. But then you were gone. But now, now he had his chance, to never let you go again.
You had to make the decision of a life time. You could either stay and fight, and have to risk fighting him, or hurting him, or worst of all, maybe even watching him die, or you could leave, betray everyone, and stay by his side.
You thought of having to fight all the people you know here at the base, your friends, your family. But then you saw him. You saw Ben, and you saw the hope that maybe, just maybe, he would turn away from the dark side. He wouldn’t be completely good, but he’d be balanced. Just like the Force should be.
“I love you,” you said, your breath shaking from the sudden admission. Yet, you were sure he already knew that.
“I….” he began, not knowing what to say. “I’ve always loved you. Ever since the first day we met, I always knew. And that’s why I can’t do this without you.”
You went silent for a few moments. Yet, you knew your decision had already been made. “I’ll do it. I’ll join you. Just tell me how to get to you.”
Kylo’s heart skipped a beat. “We have to be discreet, but I can cause a distraction, a reason for you to end up here. I just need you to trust me.”
“I already do,” you said, and you smiled a bit. “I guess I’ll be seeing you then,” you said, and the thought of it all made a grin spread wider onto your face.
“I’ll be seeing you very soon. Get some rest until then. You’re going to need it. The Resistance is going to put up a fight,” he said, and he started mentally preparing a plan for you to get onto the ship. The thought excited him. He would finally have you back.
“I will. And you get your rest too. I’m glad we could talk like this,” you said. And with that, you felt your brain go silent. Suddenly, you felt a sudden surge of excitement, guilt, nervousness, and adrenaline. You were going to see Ben, but you were also going to be a traitor. Deep down, you thought it was worth it.
Kylo tried to go back to sleep, but he just couldn’t. He couldn’t stop thinking of you, how he was going to see you again. He loved you more than he wanted to admit to himself, but the fact that you were willing to come to the other side just to be with him, that’s how he knew that this was truly all worth it.
