Just want to thank everyone who has supported my writing over the years especially if there is anyone that has been here since my outsider fandom days (2017 lol). It hurt to finally put a stop to myself on this blog. I always tell myself that I will eventually come back and continue writing but I don't know if thats something I want to keep pressuring myself to do and a false promise I want to make to myself because lately it has been hard as I grow older and start to take on so much responsibilities. I've enjoyed every mutual I have met and If I ever do continue to write you can find me on wattpad as vallomll.
As for writing lately I've been wanting to express myself differently its hard through fanfiction where fans usually expect to read about their favorite characters/celebs I want write about myself and the just my own experiences so I do plan to branch out from fanfiction write more about my desired realities or maybe even start doing poems. I don't really see myself doing fanfiction anymore unless its about my desired realities. Its just been hard these days to actually follow through with anything. I could have kept posting on this blog, but there's something off with my mind. Whenever I see it and notice people still liking my old fics from my Freaks and Geeks days or Stephen Holder days, I start comparing my past to the present. It reminds me about the love I used to have for certain fandoms, and it makes me a bit sad in a strange way to realize I don't feel so strongly about them anymore and then I go through this cycle of depressing nostalgia. Maybe I am just crazy but these are my feelings and I can't stop them.
I've accumulated about 1,640 followers in the past 7 years and it doesn't seem like much but I will love you guys forever I think about 10% are now deactivated and half haven't logged in since 2019 but I love them so much and forever grateful for all your support. At first I thought of deleting this blog but even that would hurt me as if I was erasing a part of me, so I decided to keep it as a memory of my teenage fangirl years which I will forever cherish. I'll still log in here from time to time lurk on my old moots too see what they are up too but damn most of the friends I made here just left unexpectedly without a trace and I didn't want to do the same. As a reminder you can reach out to me if you ever feel like chatting Im pretty active on my instagram which is also vallomll where I try to post edits but also thats been hard lately lol. This feels so melancholic but I'm glad I finally had the courage to do this even though it hurts
