Tamsyn Muir Pitching The Locked Tomb Series (probably?)
Tamsyn: Okay see so there is this lesbian, and she has a sword. Like a BIG fucking sword, and then there is this OTHER lesbian and she can do bone magic with her hands and like mind and shit. And they hate each other, ALOT. Then you have this other lesbian, COMPLETE insufferable bitch everyone hates her, BUT she can do bone magic for TWO and she has a HOT twin sister who is in love with this OTHER lesbian. Don't get me started on the weird lov-
Publisher: Is this a book about lesbians.
Tamsyn: Well sort of, I mean there are of course "lesbians", but I had to appeal to big HET or I knew my chances of getting published would be slim to none. So I added some characters. For example there is a married couple, eh, you like that? they are a straight married couple, huh, and oh yeah there are like baby teenagers, two of them. They are like the married couple's children, oh, and there is this prince guy and he is straight I think? He is a bit of a chud so yeah, we'll make him hetero. HE is now hetero.
Publisher: Okay. OKAY. That seems to balance out all the lesbians and gay shit going on. Any other characters you want to make note of.
Tamsyn: YES, so there are these two, uh, NOT LESBIAN, very cool characters, the first one: she has 2 swords and she is super cool, definitely not a lesbian, and has a sharp angular bob cut and she is like jacked as FUCK and she protects the other one who is for all intents and purposes, a guy. And this guy is sort of a dominant in the streets submissive in the sheets kind of guy, if you catch my drift. hehe? THEY DON'T DO THAT THOUGH CAUSE THEY ARE COUSINS. But yeah they are like totally gay, what are we talking about again?
Publisher: *sigh* okay so that is TREADING the incestuous line a little, don't you think?
Tamsyn: Oh, That reminds me! I almost forgot did I mention the twins?
Publisher: Yeah, you mentioned them towards the beginning of this meeting, what does that have to do with- wait, no- OH NO.
Tamsyn: RELAX pal. That's not even like the worst thing. I can make loving a dead body unproblematic.
Publisher: I'm sorry, I need you to say that again.
Tamsyn: I can make loving a dead body unproblematic.
Tamsyn: I can make loving a dead-
Publisher: NO, I heard you; explain please.
Tamsyn: I thought you would never ask, so like bone magic is pretty big part of this story, that part you probably guessed, but one of these bone lesbians is basically IN love with a dead girl. Like deep lesbian yearning kind of love. You will absolutely cry when you read what I have in store for you.
Publisher: I will NOT cry over a lesbian loving a corpse, Tamsyn.
Tamsyn: You absolutely will. Listen, not to brag but my entire test group cried.
Publisher: Okay. Fine. FINE. Let's talk about something else, what's the setting, where does this whole story take place.
Publisher: Again, I am going to need you to be more specific.
Tamsyn: Oh okay, so we start off on Pluto, which is actually like this old castle fort then later the whole cast goes to a haunted house.
Publisher: ...A haunted house?
Publisher: First in my bloodline to hear this kind of pitch, go on.
Tamsyn: There are puzzles
Publisher: There are, puzzles? what kind?
Tamsyn: Yeah so puzzle-puzzles with like keys and doors and shit. Then there is a murder, well a series of murders, and everyone is trying to figure out what is killing the others while also being extremely catty to each other the entire time.
Publisher: ...and how many books are you aiming for in this series?
Tamsyn: Two I think. Well, actually realistically probably three. Maybe five, we will see.
Publisher: Lets start with three books, you think you can finish this up in three?
Tamsyn: Ehhh, ehhhhhhhh.... ehhhh?
Publisher: Okay, seems like a reasonable start, let's draw up some contrac-
Tamsyn: *leans in closely* I'm going to make it significantly worse before I make it better.
Publisher: What does that mean?
Tamsyn: You will constantly think about all my characters like they are real people years after you have read my books.
Publisher: What does that MEAN, Tamsyn.
Tamsyn: Did I mention all these characters are war criminals?