i am just rly exhausted and embarrassed to keep posting about this. but summary of my situation. back in may all my electronics that i need for work got wrecked when a pipe burst in my ceiling and i had to spend $1600 replacing my stuff while being unable to work for several weeks. i also paid to consult with a lawyer (which was stupid of me!!) but ultimately i wasn't able to get my landlords to reimburse me for damages. then i had a job lined up for july that would've gotten me back on track but that fell through and left me scrambling to figure something out
i've gotten into a debt spiral for the past 2 months that i can't get out of and i haven't been able to pay rent, now i'm about to get evicted. i owe $2000 in back rent. i'm trying my best but my situation just keeps getting worse. i'm applying for rental help with the county & trying to get help from mutual aid orgs so we'll see how that goes but if nothing else i i just want my acct positive so i don't get more overdraft fees
Pure comfort , a strong reader breaking down , mentions of self hatred (is about bpd self hatred/splitting on urself but anyone who struggles w it or needs comfort abt it can read this :) )
No cw, just lots of mentions of tears and intense self hatred. Also not proofread
Readers appearance or gender is not described
Heavy footsteps echoed off the castles walls as you dragged your bag full of belongings behind you, tugging whatever carpet got stuck on it with you. Not a care in your noggin' , besides getting into bed or falling apart in your lovers embrace.
You'd be lying if you were to say that you were thinking clearly in this moment, because it was clear from your slumped posture and dazed expression that you were running on pure autopilot.
Today left you absolutely defeated, and while your ability to remain strong was generally admired by most, albeit from having no other option but to be, you were unconsolably vulnerable in this instant.
Adriens head popped out of the doorframe as he heard your defeated shuffling. Concern lacing his facial expression as he watches you ; tracking melancholy everywhere throughout the castle.
"Dearest? " wiping his hands off with a rag he was holding, he casts it aside on a shelf and strides over to you.
"Dearest come here. Is something wrong?-"
Before he could finish his sentence, you had dropped your bag and turned to face him. His stomach dropped as you looked at him with a seemingly neutral expression, only abnormality being the plethora of tears cascading down from it.
He made quick work to step closer to you, hesitant but still cradling your face. Which you couldnt help but lean into. His softness and care opening up the floodgates even further for you, a sob wrecking through you. Taking his hand into yours as you cried into his palm.
"Dearest.... what happened?" Words were futile, all you could do was collapse onto the floor and hug his waist like a lifeline while muffling your sobs, all by pressing your face into his body. Sob after sob wrecking you as you did your best to pull yourself together.
Adrien had never seen you like this before, he knew of your past, of the pain you carried, of how much vulnerability didnt come naturally to you, hell: he always wondered how you didnt break down before him like the many times he did infront of you. Now he sees just how much pain was waiting to flee out of you.
His own hands shaking in worry, he tightly embraces you in hopes of grounding you and grounding himself.
"Im here. Im... here"
Both of you sat there, letting ripple after ripple ride out the wave of emotions.
Until you are finally calmer and exhausted from crying, mumbling to him: "Adrien... I. Nevermind. Its something I need to tell myself"
Adrien loosened his embrace to look at your shaken form. His voice comforting and silken to your riggid and unwelcoming mind "I'd like to be there for you, Dear. Tell me, what plagues you? What happened?"
It felt foreign to speak out loud of your inner termoil, yet the promise of any kind of relief from it sounded sacred. Shame and relief coming over you in a wave, yet you managed to push past it.
"My mind haunts me so. I know it not to be true , yet the feeling of conviction rakes through any reason I have. That im undeserving of any kindness or chance of times getting better. That my shortcomings today and any injustice and pain i experienced in the past was deserved or of my doing, even if i dont know what i could have possibly done. I feel like im still the little kid that went through all those things"
You lean your forhead against his collarbone. Finding respite in letting it all out.
"I fear of not being enough. That today is indicitive of what I fear most: I will never be enough. And that through that, I will fall back into being treated as such. That any and all safety will be taken from me.
And that isnt something you can help me with, dear. Yet its so hard to be kind to myself or reasonable when my mind does this. "
A silence fills the air. That pit in your stomach growing as your mind thinks of the worst: you overdid it. He must be uncomfortable- hells. Repulsed by you, just like you are by yourself-
His embrace tightens around you yet again. Fingertips gently scratching your scalp as his voice breaks the silence.
"I... know how deep that self hatred can dig. A bottomless pit with nothing but a promise of self destruction. Paired with feelings of hopelesness, despair..." he pauses "grief.. of a life better lived."
You feel tears of his own rolling down your neck , his face smooshed in the space inbetween your head and shoulder. Causing you to wrap your arms around him in return , and for your tears to start rolling down in turn.
"It pains me to know you feel that pain too my love. For i know that you deserve nothing but the best. Im here for you. And i love you in your entirety. We all have our shortcomings , yet.... even though i myself struggle to believe it, we all deserve love and safety, those are... non-negotiable."
You cant help but laugh at the situation suddenly, causing him to quirk his eyebrow while shifting to look at you, while simultaneously wiping his tears.
"I believe now isnt a time to laugh..."
Replacing his hand with your own, you wipe his tears with your thumb in his stead.
"I must have given you quite a scare with this.." you smile past your tears.
Grasping your hand, he places a kiss atop your knuckles.
"Merely me worrying for your well-being dear.. what do you say, lets clean ourselves up, maybe wash the day away?"
All you could do was nod. You truly have an amazing person by your side.
i know i keep posting about my situation (tl;dr a pipe burst in my apartment and destroyed all my electronics)
3 weeks later i'm still fighting my landlords over property damage and unfinished repairs. i've had to spend ~$1600 this month on top of my normal living expenses while also being unable to work. i am going fucking insane trying to navigate this & i'm doing everything i can but this situation has wrecked me financially and upended my life, i'm the most broke i've ever been right now
i've replaced my computer and tablet and i'm back to working on commissions, but anything helps. shit is rough so i really appreciate everybody who's offered me support & kindness the past few weeks
Uhh if you do Castlevania, any alucard tepes x reader headcanons :P
Of course! Iâm straight as hell but god alucard gets me thinking sometimes
Alucard x Reader Cuddling Headcanons
Heâs a pretty tall guy, 6 foot-ish, so youâre definitely laying in his arms.
He likes the feeling of grounding himself to you, and your bodyâs weight on top of him.
No matter what happens, thereâs always a time late at night where heâs laying down with you on top of him in his arms, and heâs stroking his fingers through your hair or scratching your scalp gently.
His grip is loose but stern.
This guy will not let go.
You two just talk about your days, politics, your or his interests, problems, anythingâs fun and enlightening to talk about with Alucard.
Heâs also an incredible debater if you wanna get into some casual or subjective debate at that times.
I think things would probably be better if youâre the type of person to get warm fast, heâs cold all the time and it would help both of you that way.
Heâll relax with a hand against the thickness of your back or around your waist, whatever you prefer.
Soft pecks on the hair.
And god his voice is so gentle and breathy and attractive, heâll sit there and talk in a mix of wit and politeness and laughter about whatever.
Heâll talk about how pretty the sun is, how lucky he is to be able to stand before it. Meanwhile, what inspired him to talk was the way the sun beams of it setting hit your skin, making it golden.
He finds beauty in everything about you, just donât go snooping around his room before you find his writings describing how you take his breath away.
His heartbeat is always steady, pretty vacant but it feels so grounding to you.
Especially with how big his pecs are ahem.
Donât fall asleep of he miiight put a few strands of his hair on your nose just to see you sneeze and giggle about it to himself.
2025 Self insert Screenshot art i made in the ATLA universe
And from this year.
When systemic issues drive you up a wall then sometimes drawing yourself vulnerable and being taken care of by an older guiding figure can rly soothe you.
So twin make self ship and self insert art, I beg of you be cringe, your joy depends on it. /hj
The city is alive, a restless pulse of machinery, steam, and dreams that refuse to die no matter how many times theyâve been stepped on. The air is thick, heavy with the scent of oil and metal, but to you, it smells like home. And tonight, like always, itâs brighter when youâre with him.
Ekkoâs laugh is soft but genuine, carried on the wind as his hoverboard dips and soars beside you. The two of you are high above the city, the Firelightsâ familiar haunts zipping past in bursts of neon and shadow. Heâs weaving through the air with practiced ease, his scarf fluttering behind him like a comet trail.
âYou call that flying?â he teases, glancing back at you as you grip your own makeshift hoverboard, struggling to keep up.
âSome of us werenât born with wings, Ekko,â you shoot back, grinning despite yourself. The thrill of the ride courses through your veins, and for a moment, it feels like youâre untouchable, weightless in a world thatâs always pulling you down.
âDonât worry, Iâve got you,â he says, his voice warm as he slows just enough to glide alongside you.
And you know he does. He always does.
The two of you land on the edge of a towering spire, the remnants of an old factory long since reclaimed by Zaunâs green glow. Itâs quiet up here, the hum of the city below muted by distance, and for a while, neither of you speaks.
Ekko leans against the railing, his hoverboard propped beside him, and gazes out at the city. His face is calm, but you can see the weight behind his eyesâthe kind of weight that comes from carrying a whole world on your back.
âEverything feels different,â he says after a while, his voice barely above a whisper.
You step closer, resting your arms on the railing beside him. âDifferent how?â
He shrugs, his gaze fixed on the patchwork lights of Zaun below. âI donât know. Like... everythingâs changing, and Iâm just trying to keep up. Piltoverâs still breathing down our necks, people are still hurting, and no matter how much we do, it feels like weâre barely making a dent.â
Thereâs a heaviness to his words, the kind that makes your chest ache. Youâve always admired Ekkoâhis strength, his vision, his relentless drive to make things betterâbut moments like this remind you that heâs still just one person.
âYouâve already done more than most people would even try,â you say gently, your hand brushing against his.
He glances at you, his eyes softening. âDoesnât feel like enough.â
âIt is,â you insist. âYouâre keeping Zaun alive, Ekko. Youâre giving people hope. Thatâs more than enough.â
For a moment, he doesnât respond, his gaze searching yours like heâs trying to find the truth in your words. And then, slowly, he smilesâa small, quiet thing, but real.
âThanks,â he says softly.
The night stretches on, the two of you sitting on the edge of the spire and watching the city below. Itâs peaceful, the kind of moment that feels like it could last forever.
Ekko leans back on his hands, his scarf pooling around him as he tilts his head to look at you. âYouâre not too bad on a board, you know,â he says, his tone teasing but warm.
You snort. âComing from you, thatâs basically a compliment.â
He laughs, the sound light and easy, and for a moment, you think you could live on it.
âI mean it,â he says after a pause, his voice quieter now. âYouâre... good at this. At being here. With me.â
Your cheeks warm at his words, and you glance away, suddenly shy under his gaze. âI try,â you say lightly, though your heart is pounding in your chest.
Ekko leans closer, his shoulder brushing against yours. âI donât say it enough, but... Iâm glad youâre here,â he murmurs.
You turn to look at him, surprised by the vulnerability in his voice. Heâs always been good at putting on a brave face, at pretending heâs invincible, but right now, heâs just Ekkoâyour Ekko, the boy whoâs always tried to save the world, even when it felt impossible.
âIâm glad Iâm here too,â you say softly.
He smiles, and for a moment, the weight on his shoulders seems a little lighter.
The two of you stay there for hours, talking about everything and nothing, until the city begins to quiet and the first hints of dawn streak the sky.
âCome on,â Ekko says, standing and offering you his hand. âLetâs get out of here before the sun catches us.â
You take his hand, letting him pull you to your feet, and the two of you leap back onto your hoverboards, the city coming alive beneath you once more.
And as you fly through Zaunâs endless maze of light and shadow, with Ekkoâs laughter ringing in your ears, you canât help but feel like everything might just be okay.
For now, at least, youâre falling with himâand you wouldnât have it any other way.
Hey tumblr im a transmasc and im in community with trans women. Trans women who are sex workers, who are blue collar workers, white collar workers, and ones that dont do any state recognized work. Cus they dont need to be employed to be valid of their existence.
Trans women who take HRT, Trans Women that dont take HRT, Black Trans Women who despite the insane biases and standards put against them still show up every day. Trans Women who have fought for and continue fighting for our rights and communities. Trans women that post online despite the constant hate campaigns and lolcow'ing. Trans women that fight to be seen even when they constantly get sexualized and turned into fetishes and emotional-dumpsters for peoples unresolved privilege and ego-centric-selfdiscovery.
Older Trans women who take young queers under their wing even when they are suffering. Young trans women who are learning to traverse the world.
So @staff , tell me why every post that simply even mentions trans women gets labeled as mature content. Why trans women repeatedly get banned off of this website that labels itself and thrives thanks to the LGBTQIA* community.
Warnings: Julian is a bottom sorry letâs be fr, so top MC, unprotected seggs cuz time period, mentions of a creampie, dom/sub funzies, I realize I write too much for this to be considered headcanons only,
Julian tries to be the one in charge at first. He really does. But you can tell from the slight hesitance in his words and forced confidence that heâs only doing it to try and please you.
Little does he know that you really donât need all that!
Julianâs lips meet yours once more with an indescribable passion. He groans softly against your lips as your hands snake their way into his hair. You massage his scalp, and give a small tug on his auburn curls.
â(Y,n)âŚâ
He mumbles in the kiss, panting softly. Youâd let your hands trail down to his chest and gently push him onto your bed. The shop had closed, and Asra was off traveling for more supplies. Meaning neither of you expected any interruptions.
Not breaking the contact, you began to kiss down his neck. Julian hums quietly, moving his head to give you further access to his throat, at your mercy.
â(Y,n)âŚ. Let meâŚâ
But his gasp of pleasure betrays him as you take a small nibble, your teeth grazing his sensitive area. His hands find your waist, his thumbs gently caressing the spot.
You pull back to see his lovestruck expression. His eyes were full of passion, his lips wet and slightly parted. Your hand gracefully cups his face, and he leans into your touch. With his eyes briefly closed, you say,
âNo, let me take care of you.â
The surprise in his now widened eyes was unmistakeable. He gulps softly, wanting to object, but you silence him with a kiss. All the protests fades as he gives into your command, whimpering as you push him further on the bed and crawl in his lap.
Very vocal, I may add.
Youâll have to cover his mouth when youâre riding him or use your own mouth instead.
Broken gasps and rhythmic moans come out of his throat with every bounce on his cock. His beautiful sky eyes were rolled back, but heâd continuously try to gaze into your eyes instead. It wasnât just the pleasure, but the mere feeling of knowing he was safe in your hands.
â(Y,n)âŚ! (Y,n)âŚ! (Y-Y,n)!â
Julianâs hair was a mess, but he simply didnât have the hands to fix it. They were firmly at your waist, giving him some illusion of control.
Youâd blink down at him, panting but smirking. âYes, Julian?â You lean down to bite his bottom lip before he could, drawing another palpable sound. It was music to your ears, sweet like honey.
When the male couldnât respond, his lip quivering and his brain too hazy, you connected the dots.
âMm, gonna cum for me?â
As if it flipped a switch in his brain, he refocuses on grounding himself. His grip on your hips tighten and he nods rapidly.
âYes⌠yes! For you. Only for you.â
Because thatâs what he was, yours. And when youâd grant him permission to fill you up, heâd do so with a fierce groan. Eyes clamped shut and his face toward the roof.
~Vi is protective to the bone, and when your emotions get overwhelming, her first instinct is to shield you, even if itâs from yourself.
~She doesnât always understand at first, she grew up learning to shove emotions down, not let them out, but she wants to understand. She listens, she tries, and she learns.
~When youâre afraid sheâll leave, she doesnât argue. She just pulls you into her arms and says it outright: âNot gonna happen. Youâre mine, Iâm yours, thatâs it.â
~If you spiral into anger, she wonât take it personally. Sheâll stand firm, let you vent, and only step in if you cross a line.
~Later, when youâre calmer, sheâll gently joke to lighten the air: âGuess youâre stuck with me, huh?â
~When youâre impulsive, Vi isnât one to lecture you. She usually goes along with it, but keeps an eye out to make sure you donât get hurt. âFine, letâs do it, but if it goes south, Iâm pulling you out.â
~If you split (swinging from idealizing her to hating her), Vi doesnât hold it against you. Sheâll let you vent, then wait until you cool off before cracking a joke or pulling you in for a hug.
~Sheâs protective about people outside the relationship misunderstanding you. If someone says youâre âdramatic,â Vi shuts it down instantly. âWatch your mouth. Theyâre allowed to feel how they feel.â
Jinx
~Jinx understands emotional intensity because she lives it herself. She doesnât think youâre âtoo muchâ, if anything, she likes that you feel big, because she does too.
~The downside is when your storms overlap. Sometimes she mirrors your mood and it gets messy, but she always circles back with her version of affection, a messy drawing, a silly invention, or curling against you until it passes.
~If you fear abandonment, Jinx can be extra clingy back, wrapping herself around you with a muttered, âNot leaving. Ever. Youâre stuck with me.â
~Sheâll distract you mid spiral, tossing candy into your mouth, cracking bad jokes, or pulling you into some ridiculous âmissionâ until you laugh.
~She secretly keeps little notes and doodles for you to find on bad days: âStill love ya. Even when youâre cranky.â
~Jinx will validate your intensity rather than try to âtone it down.â If youâre happy, sheâs bouncing with you; if youâre raging, sheâs egging you on (then later gently pulling you back).
~Sheâs surprisingly good at giving reassurance, blurting things like, âYouâre not gonna lose me. Even if you tried, you couldnât get rid of me.â
~When you crash from a high into a low, Jinx doesnât push. Sheâll quietly slip little comforts into your hands (candy, a doodle, a shiny trinket she found), trying to spark a smile again.
Caitlyn
~Caitlyn is patient, steady, and logical, exactly the kind of anchor you need when your emotions feel like a storm.
~She doesnât dismiss you or minimize what youâre feeling. If youâre upset, sheâll calmly validate: âI can see youâre hurting. Letâs take it one step at a time.â
~Sheâs big on planning ahead, sheâll keep comforting routines for you (tea, quiet space, warm baths) so thereâs always a fallback when you spiral.
~When you fear sheâll leave, she looks you in the eyes and says it firmly, like itâs law: âI will not abandon you. Ever.â
~Caitâs consistency is her gift, she proves with actions, day by day, that sheâs not going anywhere.
~Caitlyn is incredible at noticing early signs before you spiral. Sheâll gently steer you into a calmer environment before things escalate.
~She often grounds you with physical routine: making tea, brushing your hair, setting a blanket around your shoulders. The familiarity helps stabilize you.
~When youâre self-critical, Cait doesnât argue with logic alone, she points out specific things you do that she admires. âYouâre kind, clever, and stronger than you believe. Thatâs not up for debate.â
Sevika
~Sevika doesnât do flowery words, but she shows up, and that reliability becomes your rock.
~If you spiral, she wonât panic. Sheâll cross her arms, let you rant, and say something like: âYou done? Or you got more?â Not dismissive, but challenging, she refuses to let your brain trick you into thinking youâre unworthy.
~If you fear abandonment, she doesnât coddle. Sheâll just grunt and go, âI wouldnât still be here if I wanted to leave. Think about that.â
~Her love language is actions: a steady presence, a meal shoved in front of you, a warm arm around your shoulders when you least expect it.
~Sevika is blunt, but sheâs also fiercely loyal. When you feel like youâre âtoo much,â she says flatly: âIf I couldnât handle you, Iâd be gone already. Iâm still here, arenât I?â
~If you get impulsive or reckless, Sevika doesnât scold, she just positions herself at your side so she can step in if things go too far. Sheâs not judgmental, just watchful.
~She secretly loves your intensity because it matches her own temper. When youâre raw and emotional, she feels less alone in her own rough edges.
Mel
~Mel approaches your emotions with elegance and strategy, not because she doesnât care, but because she wants to care effectively.
~When youâre overwhelmed, she doesnât smother you: she draws you close, speaks in low, velvety tones, and makes you feel seen without judgment.
~If you spiral into fear of abandonment, sheâll reassure you with a smile and say: âYou are far too precious for me to let go.â And she means it.
~She creates beauty around you as comfort, soft lighting, luxurious touches, little surprises, a reminder that you deserve softness even when your head says otherwise.
~Mel never gets angry at your intensity. If anything, she finds it real, compared to the mask most people wear.
~Mel is endlessly patient in public. If you snap or withdraw in a social setting, she covers for you gracefully, guiding you out without anyone noticing.
~She keeps little gifts for you, trinkets, books, or tokens, to give on your low days. Not because she thinks itâll âfixâ you, but as a reminder: âYouâre worth beautiful things.â
~Mel encourages you to embrace your emotions instead of fearing them, framing them as a strength. âYou feel deeply, and that makes you powerful.â
Grayson
~Grayson has the patience of a saint. She approaches your emotions the same way she approaches her officers, steady, calm, guiding, never wavering.
~If you spiral, she immediately grounds you with her voice: âItâs alright, love. Breathe with me.â Her tone is so firm, itâs almost impossible not to listen.
~When youâre afraid sheâll leave, she cups your face in her hands, looks you dead in the eyes, and says, âIâm here. I will always be here.â She never lets the fear linger.
~Sheâs protective of you, if anyone ever mocked or dismissed your emotions, sheâd shut it down instantly. âDonât you dare belittle them.â
~Her presence itself is healing, warm arms, a kiss on your temple, the weight of someone who will not move no matter how hard the storm rages.
Victor
~Viktor understands more than he lets on. He may not have the same struggles, but he knows what it feels like to be dismissed or âtoo muchâ for others.
~When you spiral, he doesnât rush you. He listens, quietly, offering soft reassurances only when youâre ready to hear them. âI am here. That will not change.â
~He gently intellectualizes things, not to dismiss, but to help you break the emotions into smaller, manageable pieces.
~If you fear abandonment, he reassures you with his consistency: always showing up, always keeping his promises.
~On your darkest days, he simply exists near you. Working on his projects while keeping you close, you donât even need words to feel his care.
Jayce
~Jayce tries so hard. He doesnât always know the right thing to say, but his heartâs always in the right place.
~When you spiral, his instinct is to fix it immediately, sometimes fumbling, sometimes clumsy, but always caring.
~If you worry heâll leave, heâll pull you close, eyes wide and honest, blurting out: âNo way. I love you, youâre stuck with me.â
~He tries to distract you with little comforts, food, gifts, or dragging you on a walk to clear your head.
~When he doesnât know what to do, he asks. âTell me what helps. Iâll do it. Anything.â
~Heâs a natural cheerleader. Heâll list off all the things he loves about you, even if you donât believe them at the moment.
~If youâre impulsive, Jayce often goes along, then helps you recover if things donât pan out. He never makes you feel bad for it.
~He openly asks what you need. âTell me how I can help. Just say it, and Iâll do it.â Heâs eager to support, even if he doesnât always get it right.
Silco
~Silco doesnât view your intensity as weakness. In fact, he respects it, sees it as the same fire that fuels him.
~When you spiral, heâs calm and commanding, grounding you with his voice: âControl, darling. You are stronger than this chaos.â
~If you fear abandonment, he is direct: âI chose you. That choice does not falter. Do not insult me by doubting it.â Itâs firm, but it comes from his own brand of loyalty.
~He can be harsh with others who treat you poorly, protective in a ruthless way. No one gets to weaponize your vulnerability.
~And when itâs just you and him, he allows softness he shows no one else, letting you curl against him as he strokes your hair, whispering, âYou are mine. That will never change.â
Ekko
~Ekko is patient and understanding. He knows what itâs like to live with heavy emotions, to feel too much for the world.
~When you spiral, he doesnât judge. He lets you vent, yell, cry, whatever you need. Then he gently helps you ground.
~If you fear abandonment, he reassures you softly but firmly: âIâm not going anywhere. Iâve lost enough people already. Youâre not one of them.â
~Heâs good at redirecting your energy into something tangible, working on projects together, painting walls, running rooftops. He turns the storm into movement.
~Ekko balances your intensity with steady affection: quiet hugs, forehead kisses, reminding you that no matter how wild your emotions swing, heâs not going anywhere.
Vander
(Wasnât allowed to add any more gifsđ)
~Vander is comfort in human form. When your emotions overwhelm you, his instinct is to protect and soothe.
~Heâll sit you down, make you tea or food, and say in his warm, steady voice: âYouâre safe here. Nothingâs going to hurt you.â
~If you fear heâll leave, he cups your face in his large, steady hands and reminds you: âI made a promise. I keep my promises.â
~He has a grounding presence, the smell of tobacco, the warmth of his arms, the simple weight of his hand on your shoulder.
~On the worst days, he doesnât force conversation. He just sits with you, humming or talking about something small, reminding you that youâre not alone.
Ekkos fingertips brushed through your hair, nails lightly scratching your scalp as your worn muscles turned to mush.
Another day of work behind you, having exhausted yourself to the bone and your emotions having bubbled up to completion. Yet all of that stress couldnt withstand the effect of Ekkos soothing touch. His breath lulling you with the rise and fall of his chest.
"Y/N?Want to share what happened?" his tone gentle.
All you could let out was a short,disgruntled and half-hearted groan. To which Ekko couldnt help but laugh at.
"I understand."
Was the last thing you heard before succumbing to slumber.
Also, would you be so kind as to write a little something about Caleb and/or Vax slow dancing with their s/o? Whether theyâre at a party or a rooftop date or just being soft? However you see fit! And huge emphasis on the âand/or.â Iâll love whatever you choose to write :)
Thanks
-đ
Sorry for the wait! Things have been crazy. I went for Caleb here but got inspired to write a bit for Vax too so I'll post that one later. đ
Caleb watches as you move across the dance floor of the tavern, spinning, twisting and turning, moving along the happy beat of the music. You find yourself dancing with most of the Nein while he sits at the table nursing his drink with a smile on his face. Itâs good to see you so happy and unburdened by all the troubles of the world, even if just for a little while. You deserve a break.
You excuse yourself from your half orc dance partner claiming you need a break. This is all a lie of course because youâve seen the hopeless looks Jester has been sending you. While you step away you give her a wink, allowing her to take your place and ask Fjord to dance for herself. Of course the man says yes but the excited cleric has pulled him into the dance before he gets the reply out. With a shake of your head you walk over to the table Caleb has been sitting at all night, throwing yourself onto the chair next to him. Caleb raises his cup at you acknowledging your presence.
âAnother successful adventure. Reward acquired. Everyone is in a good mood. Thereâs music and dancing and every reason to party.â You sum up turning in your seat to face Caleb, leaning your tilted head on your fist. Caleb stares at you blankly.
âSo?â Caleb asks feeling thereâs a reason for your words other than stating the obvious.
âSo, why are you cooped up in this corner watching the party from a distance drinking alone?â Caleb had been fully content doing just that and not participating. Reminders of the past are something heâd rather not divulge in without a decent buzz going on to distract him. And heâs certainly not nearly deep enough in his cups to deal with an interrogation.
âIâm not much of a dancer.â He speaks but your retort follows quickly after.
âBullshit. Iâve seen you dance. You may have been plenty drunk but those were not the steps of drunken fool feeling the beat of the music.â Okay, Caleb should have known youâd have picked up on that one. He doesnât even really know why he tried to lie. He could just have said he wasnât in the mood and be done with it. Go back to wallowing in self pity.
âThen what do you want me to say?â Caleb asks. Heâs not sure if he just wants to tell you what you want to hear be that to make you happy or get you off his back on this. Probably the firstâŚ
âCaleb, I love you but please donât torture yourself. If you want to stay here Iâll stay with you. If you want to leave, Iâll join you. And if you wish to dance, I wonât deny that would make me very happy, I understand if you donât and I wonât pester you.â Caleb gives you a brief sad smile taking your hand in his free one under the table giving it a light squeeze as he sips his drink. A realisation hits. Oh. You get it now. A brief nod and closing of your eyes makes Caleb tilt his head at you in question.
âThis is because of her, isnât it?â Caleb knows exactly who youâre referring to. It had taken him a while to open up about those specific parts of his past but in the end he did. It was your right to know back then as much as it is now. Still he may keep certain details to himself but youâre clever enough to fill in the gaps. You get up, pulling his hand gently when youâre on your feet.
âDance with me, Caleb?â You ask and his lips go dry, breath catching in his throat as he looks around the room. His eyes find yours and he finds himself focus on just you. Thereâs a calmness and sense of security when he takes you in awaiting his answer with patience and a smile. Caleb knows youâre trying to help him. Thatâs a good thing and heâll be forever grateful for your generosity and acceptance, but most of all for your unconditional love. Maybe it is time to move on. Not forget. Not replace. But move on. Donât let the pains of the past stain new memories made. With your hand in his, heâll be able to do the things he enjoyed doing without constantly being reminded of the past.
You await an answer but none comes. Still you wait. Youâre patient and not every decision needs to be made in a hurry. Thereâs no shame in either answer and you certainly wonât think any less of Caleb if he says no. When youâre sure heâs about to tell you heâs fine where he is, Caleb gets up and steps past you, gently guiding you along to the dance floor. The pride in your face makes it all worth it. The smile reaches his eyes and he bows. You return the bow as you join the twisting and twirling couples. Youâre mindful of the more drunken ones but Caleb quickly finds himself take the lead in your dance, following one step after another with more grace and practiced precision than the one before as if falling back into an old routine.
How heâs missed this. Caleb never thought he could dance again without some sense of regret or discomfort in the pit of his stomach but thatâs all gone. The warmth of your hand in his, the gentle squeeze of the one on his shoulder signalling him thereâs another less practiced or intoxicated couple about to bump into the both of you, you notice over his shoulder, or you steer him clear taking the lead for just a moment, and then always a moment longer. Thereâs something so comforting about the closeness he canât quite describe but he canât remember experiencing that feeling with the others in the past. It seems something so distinctly you and very much something he can get used to.
The dance comes to an end. You bow to each other, Caleb holding on to your hand pressing a kiss to the back of it in a brief moment of courage and carelessness for who might see. The absolute joy and love written across your face make it all the more worth it. The song transitions into the next one and you half expect Caleb to have had his fill for the night but before you know it youâre swept up into another dance. And another after that and so on until the band grows sick of playing songs. Caleb is making up for a little over a decade of missed time and you wholeheartedly consent to catching up on that lost time.
You still find yourselves gently swaying to the echoes of song when everyone has gone to bed or found a decent chair or table to fall asleep on, be that out of exhaustion or drunken stupor you donât know. Your limbs ache but neither you nor Caleb care instead just enjoying the company and dancing the night away until morning comes and Beauregard sees the two of you, about to head off for her morning run. She gives you a look making a comment about how disgustingly lovesick you two are before she leaves, the light bleeding through the door she exits through, signalling to you that dawn has come.
âWe should probably head to bed.â Caleb comments, exhaustion in his eyes mimicking yours while you repress a yawn.
âThat would be the smart decision wouldnât it? Thank Pelor weâre free today because I donât think Iâll be able to get up once I find a comfy place to crash.â Caleb couldnât agree more as you do one last spin towards the stairs, holding your hand towards the wizard and you make your way upstairs and into your room. You both kick off your shoes, Caleb the first to crash onto the bed and closes his eyes as you follow. He feels your fingers brush his cheek, peaking to see your face above his.
âThank you for dancing with me tonight, Caleb. I really enjoyed myself.â Caleb leans up on his elbows, allowing you to press your lips to his, your thanks very much accepted. A tug on your arm throws you off balance and down onto the bed right at Calebâs side. Before you know it youâre pulled into a warm embrace youâre more than happy to return, the final rustling of adjusting blankets and levelled breathing lulling you to sleep yourself.
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