I'm from the valley;

Milo Wolff. Twenty-one. From the Valley, and living a hecka cool life. I have a brother named Leonardo and he's a nerd. Going to Uni. Holla at yo boy.

[aidizzle-blog1]

My dad emailed me. And he spelled my name wrong.

[munchiesmilo]

... What the fuck? Isn't he the one that named you?

[aidizzle-blog1]

Nothing, Milo. It’s stupid, seriously. It’s really, really stupid.

[munchiesmilo]

If it makes you upset, then it's not stupid. Nothing you feel is stupid.

[aidizzle-blog1]

Me, your dad, your brother, weed, and photography. What are the other seven? No, wait — JD. That’s six.

[munchiesmilo]

Well Starbucks/coffee for sure. So I've given myself 5 things to find important in the next, oh fifty years or so. But don't try to change the subject. What's wrong?

[aidizzle-blog1]

No, not really. But like I said, it doesn’t matter. How are you?

[munchiesmilo]

You matter. You hella matter. You're one of like twelve things I care about. In the top three even. So if you're not okay, then I'm not okay with that.

[aidizzle-blog1]

If he was around often enough, I’m sure that he’d be acting like a dick, yeah. Whatever, doesn’t matter. Thank you for spelling my name right. How are you?

[munchiesmilo]

Aidan. Babe. Are you okay?

[aidizzle-blog1]

Yeah, and you. Siri, and you, and my dad when he feels like caring enough.

[munchiesmilo]

Is he being a dick? 

[aidizzle-blog1]

I can count on one hand how many people consistently spell my name right, and one of them is Siri.

[munchiesmilo]

And another is Milo Wolff! Hashtag best boyfriend ever. 

[aidizzle-blog1]

Hey, you’ve more than made up for it now, so don’t even worry about it. I’ve got six piercings on my face alone, cutie, and I’ve been known to wear eyeliner from time to time. I’d definitely find a Satanic, rebellious you adorable, but don’t you worry that pretty head of yours — I prefer the you that you are now. Okay, what are we? Because I want to call you my boyfriend, but I don’t know if I can.

[munchiesmilo]

I could probably make up for it some more. I like you for many reasons, and one is that you can say "Satanic" and "adorable" in the same sentence. You can't call me your boyfriend. I have to ask you first, and I'm planning it, but it's not ready yet, so you have to wait. Sorry about that, but it's going to be super romantic. 

[aidizzle-blog1]

I’m trying to erase the memory of perpetual blue balls from my brain, Milo, thank you. They still let out a scream of horror every time I think about it. My poor nuts. Dear god my hips just thrust involuntarily. Well I would like to see her shitty ass profile if that includes adorable, old pictures of my — right. Milo, I need to ask you a question.

[munchiesmilo]

I really am sorry about that. I just get stupid sometimes. Hashtag bless. We'll have fun tonight! The pictures aren't adorable. I tried extra hard to look like a Satanist on Easter picture day. My mother's husband would get so mad after, but it was hella worth it. Yeah, 'course babe. You can ask me anything. 

[aidizzle-blog1]

'Cause it used to, sort of. Old habits die hard. You say that as if I haven't stalked the shit out of your FaceBook already, babe. I bet I can't see them 'cause I'm not friends with your mom.

[munchiesmilo]

It never alarmed me when you got hard. That was literally my goal every single time it happened. I just wanted to give you blue balls back then. Now I just kinda want to blow you with my piercings in. Did she seriously put her FaceBook on private? What a fucking bitch. No one even wants to see her shitty ass profile anyways. Whatever, I'll get them for you. 

[aidizzle-blog1]

I don’t mean to alarm you, but I think that just made my dick hard. When will I get to see these pictures?

[munchiesmilo]

Why would that alarm me? It makes me so happy when that happens! You can go look on my FaceBook page. Mom tagged me in all of them. 

[aidizzle-blog1]

Were you really? Do you have like, photographic evidence? Did you have piercings? Did you wear eyeliner? I bet you were a raver, huh? You seem like you had a rave phase.

[munchiesmilo]

Yeah, I have all my easter photos. I had somewhat raccoon eyes, and there was actually an intervention for me about it. Um, I had a septum piercing and a lip ring. I mean, they weren't called raves, but yeah they were basically raves. We all wore neon and body paint. At one point, I used to just keep neon body paint in my car, because I would use it hella. 

[aidizzle-blog1]

Maybe not to you, babe, but you’re special. A giant rebel? Oh ho ho, now I’m intrigued. Why were you a rebel?

[munchiesmilo]

You're special. Oh, well I just. I was a giant party kid. I used to go out a lot, smoke a lot of weed, drink a lot. I'd come to class hung over as fuck, and a few times, still drunk. 

[aidizzle-blog1]

I was an even bigger piece of shit back then, if you can believe it. Our auditorium was called Rockwell Hall and I changed it to Cockwell once.

[munchiesmilo]

You're not capable of ever being a piece of shit. I was a giant rebel in high school, but all my teachers loved me. 

[aidizzle-blog1]

I just got a call from an old friend from LA. His little brother goes to our high school now, and apparently my old US History teacher still talks shit about me.

[aidizzle-blog1]

[munchiesmilo]

Your teachers didn't like you? How is that even possible? 

[superrkiwi-blog-blog-blog]

My mum threw away my Scarlett Johansson cut out. I don’t have anything else to live for.

[munchiesmilo]

She threw it away? Why? That's awful, I'd sue. 

[munchiesmilo]

@miloo: OH MY GOD.

@miloo: THIS PIRATE FAIRY MOVIE IS FANTASTIC

@miloo: I FREAKING LOVE PETER PAN, AND THIS IS LEADING UP TO HIM OH MY GOD.