Murder Pals

Achievement Hunter and Roosterteeth serial killer/ organized crime AU fanfiction story.

[murderpals]

Chapter 2: Bottom of the Glass

The bar was dim. Both in lighting and in atmosphere. The whole place was shrouded in a thick haze and stunk like old cigarette smoke.

Ao3 link

The clientele of the bar was a mixing pot of criminals.

At the pool tables, were the usual biker types. Loud, brash, and very drunk, but they were probably the most honest of the crooks that frequented the bar. These guys would punch you in the face instead of stabbing you in the back. The booths in the back had the organized criminals. To the untrained eye, these guys looked like a couple of white collars who went to the wrong bar after work. But a glance under the table and you would see the two smiling men’s’ true intentions. Two glocks pointed at each other and threatening to touch muzzles. These guys were not one to fuck with. Then at the tables were the everyday criminals. The kind of guys who didn’t really matter in the bigger picture. Then finally at the bar where the drunks. The guys who were there to forget something and they did it in the worst way possible.

At one point in his life, Geoff would have never been caught in a place like this. But here he was, staring blankly down at his half filled glass of whiskey. He glance over at the four identical glasses that now stood empty and gave an exhausted sigh.  

“You know, I haven’t always been like this,” Geoff said to no one in particular and taking a drink from the glass in his hand.

“Surprisingly, you aren’t the first person to say something like that,” the young bartender said flatly.

“I was on top of the world.” Geoff nodded, ”Everything was coming up Geoff,” He took a long drink from his glass. then with a note of nostalgia, “things were great,” Geoff rested his head into the nook of his arm.

“Not the first time I heard that either” The bartender sighed and flipped her bangs away from her face.

“I had friends,” Geoff sighed. “The best ones you could ask for. They had my back but they weren’t afraid to kick my ass if I was doing something stupid,”

“They sound alright,” the bartender said.

“Burnie was going places, Joel was fucking hilarious, and Gus was an asshole,” Geoff said smiling into his glass. “... Jason was cool too,”

“So where is everyone now?” the bartender said pulling out another glass for Geoff.

“Burn’s went to jail. then everyone just disbanded,” Geoff said. He searched every pocket for some change and after a few moment he had finally collected enough for the beverage and a measly tip.

The bartender noted that this would be Geoff last drink.“Jail. Why?” the bartender said absent-mindedly. Most of the men at this bar had been sent to jail once or twice but the young bartender had no idea the landmine she had just walked into.

“For no good fucking reason.” Geoff’s voice rose. “ Some shithead planted drugs at our workplace. Burnie got the blame. and his ass was in jail before we knew it,” Geoff threw the drink back.

“Huh.” the bartender said trying to slowly remove herself from the conversation and she moved down the near empty bar.

“All because of that fucking Texan.” Geoff croaked loudly and catching the attention of several men in the bar.

The bartender eyes narrowed and she leaned in close. “Maybe you shouldn’t say that name around here.”

“What’s going to happen? ” Geoff squacked. “Someone going to shit on my dreams? I hope they like sloppy fucking seconds.” Geoff heard two chairs scratch against the floor and heavy footsteps come from behind him. He felt hot stale breath of his neck that was almost on the same level of intoxication as Geoff.

“Can I get you boys anything,” the bartender said smoothly.

“Nothing right now, buttercup,” the larger of the men said taking a long drag of his cigarette. “Maybe after some exercise,” the man’s voice turned dark.

“Speak of the devil,” Geoff nodded drunkenly. “But I’m surprised these bitches can hear me with their heads so far up the texan’s ass,”

“What the fuck did you just call us,” the smaller, but way more muscular, one said. Placing a hand on Geoff shoulder and squeezing hard hard but Geoff seemed to hardly notice.

“Bitches,” Geoff said dragging out the word.

The larger man seemed unfazed by Geoff’s taunts but that was proven untrue when he leaned over the bar menacingly. “You really shouldn’t talk about our boss that way,” The man said flicking his cigarette into Geoff’s drink.

Geoff’s expression turned dark. “Wasting alcohol” Geoff tsked.

The bartender, who had been watching the whole ordeal, cleared her throat, “No fighting in the bar.”

“What are you going to do about that, honeybuns?” The smaller man said almost sneering.

“I could call Adam out,” the bartender said fluttering her eyelashes and smiling sweetly. “Or, I could handle you two myself,” She said pulling up her apron to expose a gun. “You know, here, we do more than just ban our customers.” the bartender winked and let her apron fall.

The two men exchanged glances before the taller one said, “We don’t want to get your hands dirty, miss. We would be happy to excuse ourselves from the bar.” the duo left but not before the smaller one could give Geoff a dirty look.

“Thanks,” Geoff said rubbing his face to try and sober up.

“Don’t thank me yet, it’s last call,” the bartender said looking down at her phone, “Ray,” the bartender called down to a young man cleaning up the floor, “It’s last call,” and she left Geoff to his own devices.

“Might as well go now, then” Geoff said sighing deeply. Geoff pushed himself off the stool made his way towards the door.

A blast of cold air hit him as he stumbled into the dark street. The only light came from the flickering streetlights and those only gave Geoff a headache. Geoff tried to rub the cold off his nose as he stumbled his way home.

After only being a hundred meters or so away from the bar, Geoff felt a sharp push from behind and landed into the dank alley way. “Jesus Christ,” Geoff said pulling himself out of the puddle of… something that he had landed it.  

“Remember us?” the smaller of the men sneering and cracked his knuckles.

“Nope,” Geoff deadpanned and pulled himself up off the ground.

“Motherfucker-” The smaller one said taking a menacing step towards Geoff.  

“Calm down,” the larger man said staring down his nose at Geoff, “This guy is worthless.”

“Not as worthless as some no name mooks,” Geoff swayed.

“My name is goddamn Craig,” Craig’s face beginning to turn red who took a wide swing at Geoff head, but Geoff merely swayed out of the way.  

“Like I won’t forget that in a drunken haze,” Geoff said managing to roll his eyes and put his hands in pockets.  

“Fuck you,” Craig said, winding up his arm almost comically. And once again, Geoff easily evaded the man’s fist. But he also gave a sharp push to Craig’s back, who then tumbled into the garbage. “Mother-Sean do something,” Craig said in a tone that was similar to whimpering towards the other larger man.

“You couldn’t hit me with a two foot pole.” Geoff gloated at the downed Craig and didn't even see Sean pick up the large pipe off the ground and slam it into Geoff’s side.

“I guess a pipe works,” Geoff said spitting out a glob of blood.  

“Craig,” Sean sighed. “Why do you always let these guys bother you?”    

Craig scrambled up off the ground and glared down at Geoff. And Geoff would have laughed at the dark red shade in Craig’s face if he wasn’t scared of rupturing a lung.

“You know guys like this mean nothing in the larger picture,” Sean continued.  

“If I’m nothing then why the fuck did you hit me with a lead pipe,” Geoff said pushing himself up.

“It’s on principal.”

“Principal of being an asshole,” Geoff mumbled, which earned him a swift kick from Sean.  

Craig’s face was near purple now and several vein’s had somehow managed not to burst from his neck. Craig turned to the larger man and spat, “Sean are we going to let this drunk shit on us?”  

“Calm down, Craig.” Sean said rolling his eyes.  “this guy means nothing to us in the larger picture,”

“If I’m nothing,” Geoff said his eyes shining with clarity, “Then why the fuck did you bean me in the head with a goddamn metal pipe?”  

“The texan and his associates” Sean said gesturing between himself and Craig, “ have a reputation to uphold. And when people like you try to tarnish our good name, we … well, craig has to keep drunks like you in line.”  

“Best job I ever had” Craig sneered as his face faded to a more human colour.

Sean smiled. “you see when someone bad mouths the boss, we”  Sean gestured between him and Craig, “we got permission to deal with them. Craig.”

“With pleasure.” Craig said with a edge of arrogance. Craig pulled Geoff up off the ground only to slam his fist into Geoff stomach. “Third times the charm,” Craig said as if was the funniest thing in the world.  

“Fuck you,” Geoff said globbing out a mouthful of spit and blood. The smile on Sean’s face remained and Craig punched Geoff in the stomach again. This time the blow make Geoff fall to his knees. “If i was sober I would be beating the shit out of you,”

“But you’re not” Craig punctuated with a kick and leaving Geoff on the ground.

Sean cleared his throat as if he was about to give some profound speech. “You’re a fucking loser. A nobody.” Sean articulated and began walking towards Geoff. then with surprising gentleness, Sean placed a foot onto Geoff’s head.

“Your beneath his feet,” Craig said quickly and snickered at his own joke.

Sean glared at Craig. “thank you, Craig.” Sean said and turned his attention back on Geoff. “Do you know how many guys Craig has roughed up in this alley?”

Geoff remained silent.

“Twelve,” Craig supplied after counting them out on his fingers, “this month.”

“Do you think Craig could could name any of those guys?” Sean said.

“Nope.” Craig said shaking his head as if it was the saddest fact in the world.

“You called us ‘no named mooks’ but honestly what are the odds that he’s going to remember your name?” Sean said removing his foot and turning his back to Geoff.

“I have a shit memory too,” Craig said also leaving.

“My name’s Geoff,” Geoff growled. “And I swear on my dick that you fucker’s will remember my name one day,”

“the Texan says howdy,” Sean said with a lazy wave over his shoulder.

[murderpals]

New Chapter!

wait hold up, murderpals has a new chapter coming out soon! And it’s featuring the loveable Geoff. Take a peek at our new header to catch a glimpse of Geoff!  Also guess who will be the secret easter egg in the chapter? (i may have already given you a hint)?

[murderpals]

“You couldn’t hit me with a two foot pole.” Geoff gloated at the downed Craig and didn't even see Sean pick up the large pipe off the ground and slam it into Geoff’s side.

Murder Pals Chapter 2

[murderpals]

Murder Pals Chapter 1: Cup of Tea

[murderpals]

... Wait? 

Did we change the header? Could this be an omen to what is to come? 

[murderpals]

Ryan stared down at the body and sighed. This was just the thing that would ruin his night.

Murder Pals Chapter 1, Ryan Haywood 

In the coming week, Murder Pals is going to premiere! There has been a long hiatus, but we wanted to create the best possible product ... and life tended to get in the way. 

This project has been a brain child between tajn77 and cantankerouskaputnik and we really really look forward to posting this! If you have any questions about the project feel free to send a message to the group :D 

[murderpals]

Michael, what are you doing in Houston? You do know there has been a string of terrible murders there, right? Don't you read the newspaper?