nik

my digital diary - main: @cannibalistic-fag

[muttb4it]

i complain alot about being alone but whenever people get too close to me it stresses the fuck out of me. I dont wanna be alone, but being vulnerable sometimes sounds worse.

[muttb4it]

sensory seeking but i literally need to be punched and kicked multiple times, really hard, bruised up, or ill genuinly relapse. i cant do this i need to be hurt rn kill me kill me kill me kill m

[muttb4it]

having crushes on people makes me feel so fucking pathetic because i physically cant think about anything other than them even if im actively doing something else completely unrelated to them.

If ive messaged them then ill genuinly start tweaking tf out if they dont respond to my stupid messages quickly enough. If they dont show enough interest in me, ill literally start shaking nd shit. Im not ok

[cannibalistic-fag]

my whole life is online and i feel like such a loser for it. If i didnt have online friends i wouldve killed myself by now. being on the internet made me worse but also saved me.

[muttb4it]

when i relapsed so now i lwk cant sleep on my side for atleast a few days without hurting

[muttb4it]

he jst called me his angel sjsjshsjshh

[muttb4it]

currently thinking abt how he'd look like with eyeliner on oh my fucking god, i need him

the idea of kissing nd touching him, hearing his whimpers WHILEE HES WEARING EYELINER???????? shoot me

[muttb4it]

i try my best to act pretty masculine in general but i fold like a napkin every time he calls me "sweet boy" or "good boy" holyy fuck

[tankhall]

i do not know how to speak anymore

[cannibalistic-fag]

[muttb4it]

Posting forcemasc makes me feel like tyler durden in fight club. Like yes, im making myself more masculine and acting like someone else is doing it. Thanks for asking.

[muttb4it]

bf who makes me wear his clothes because theyre more masculine

bf who cuts my hair for me and tells me that i suit shorter hair more

bf who does my tshot for me, telling me that im being a good boy when its over

bf who makes me work out with him, telling me ill look good with some muscles

bf who gets annoyed if i call my tdick a clit