Sai

38 he/him Schizoaffective and ASPD-Sociopath. with a hint of narcissism

[honeynarcissus]

bitches see a narcissist thriving, happy in life, and start frothing at the mouth trying to find some reason that they don’t deserve it

[vacantlycruel]

I’m at my best when I don’t care about anyone romantically

[macncheesenketchup]

having autism is weird because it’s like

people: why can’t you do thing

me: (explains how my autism/adhd interacts with my environment and what I need to help me)

people: don’t use your autism as a crutch

me: but it’s the reason I can’t do thing, I’m disabled

people: ohh so you’re loW fUnCtIoNinG. but if you’re low functioning you cant talk or function at all and can’t spell or do anything in school!

me: No, that isn’t true about me—

people: oh, so you’re high functioning. but if you’re high functioning you can do all the things someone without autism can, so stop complaining.

me: (continues to struggle)

people: why can’t you do thing

me: because im stupid i GUESS

people: don’t say that about yourself :( if you’re struggling you can just say so :(

me, slowly turning to look into the camera:

[chaotic-adhd-babe]

Being ADHD and a die hard introvert is just like

*hyperfixates on books as a child*

*brings a book to read alone at recess everyday in middle school/ junior high like clockwork*

*cannot read a new fictional book to save your life after the age of 19*

*spends friday night alone at home drinking your favorite alcoholic drink with the tv playing bobs burgers on in the background and switching back and forth between that and How the Universe Works, Reading your favorite fiction book that youve read a million times, online shopping, working on your WIP, on tumblr, Journaling, on pinterest and brainstorming/daydreaming shit about your WIP all at the same time, Happy and content as can be*

*stays up until 5 am hyperfocusing on making a schedule to make it easier to not stay up until 5 am regularly anymore*

*feeling self conscious and feeling your stomach tighten with nerves anytime someone mentions adhd at work, Determined to Not Let Them Know that you, yourself are an ADHD*

*Considers socializing with new coworkers*

*straight up forgets to socialize with new coworkers while standing around with them with no tasks to do*

"Hhhm wonder if I should give dating a shot again"

*5 minutes later, after thinking about the idea for more than 20 seconds*

"Lol nope"

"I got RSD after minorly fucking up at work today and I felt like my limbic system was trying to kill me but I successfully contained all of it with my poker face but yeah haha how was your day"

*holds entire venting conversations about your childhood with your dog sitting on the kitchen floor at 2 am*

"Well this is not the smartest thing Ive ever done but Lol its also not the dumbest thing Ive ever done"

*listens to the same song for 3 hours straight*

"You cant have adhd you're so quiet!!! :) " *dies out of frustration*

"Lol why do you never talk"

*drags around the "why cant you do anything right you dumbass - this is not difficult why is it so hard for you" and the "goody-two shoes - honor roll - nerd - kinda semi smart but you gotta apply yourself - I wish youd participate more - Quiet weird girl- Pleasure to have in class" sterotypes until you are 209 years old*

*falls down the stairs while daydreaming about your upcoming day off* Whoops

"I am hilarious why is no one around right now to listen to me"

"Small talk scripts all the way, until death"

[sunflower-cane]

Abled people: how’re we suppose to live and sustain ourselves if we are unable to work??? How does the government expect us to live like this???

Disabled people:

[lolablueworld]

This is how it looks like to struggle with mental illness and developmental disorders.

[folie--maniaco-melancolique]

Me: erase the stigma around mental illness and stop demonizing diseases!

Everyone: yeah!

Me: this includes aspd and npd too!

Everyone: no!!

[muzankusblog]

Fear and pain may accompany death

[lordoflightning]

muzan fuckers come get y’alls man

[muzankusblog]

I will end them all tonight. The demon hunters will be no more. I will rule from here on out.

[muzankusblog]

Ungrateful bastards. I give you life. I give you another chance in life and I get nothing but failures.

[muzankusblog]

I heard there was a demon that can withstand the day light. I need her, need to consume her so I can become the perfect being. Bring her to me. I won't accept any failures.

[muzankusblog]

"Looks like I'll be handling things myself. The upper moons have been an utter disappointment"

[muzankusblog]

The Ones by Aesthetic Perfection

Would you believe me if I told the reasons why

You can't rest, and drink yourself to sleep at night?

Now, like it matters, you can't escape, don't even try

We speak what no one knows

You lie awake and you hope it's all in your head

You're counting teeth with your tongue, are they all there?

There's no relief in the dark from what isn't there

But you don't feel alone

We are the ones you should be fearing

Coming in the night and take your teeth away

Now sew up your mouth, and go to sleep, 'cause

We'll be there soon to break your heart and spite your face

Now they're finally here and you know what they're looking for

With their empty grins they proceed in taking what you owe

And you move your lips, but the words, they just fall to the floor

So this is how it ends

Crawl to the mirror and see it, all that you've become

A grim reflection of all the things that you have done

You try to weep, but no tears never will ever come

So this is who you are

We are the ones you should be fearing

Coming in the night and take your teeth away

Now sew up your mouth and go to sleep, 'cause

We'll be there soon to break your heart and spite your face

All the stars will burn out sometime

We hang by our own rope

All the stars will burn out sometime

We suffer from inward growth

We are the ones you should be fearing

Coming in the night and take your teeth away

Now sew up your mouth and go to sleep, cause

We'll be there soon to break your heart and spite your faith

[muzankusblog]

-we are the ones you should be fearing. coming into the night-

[muzankusblog]

[muzankusblog]

*stares in disgust*

The 6 upper moons have waned. I’m disgusted, but not surprised. I haven’t expected much from them. I need more suicidal devotion from them. If they fail, I will have to take matters in my own hands. I will not fail.