“I know you didn’t. I’m just…overreacting, I suppose,” he said in a softness he didn’t know he had in him. In a way, they were all in danger. It’s what being a Death Eater meant, but it was different this time. For Orion, it wasn’t how it use to be; everyone’s identity use to be a secret, but now it felt like everyday another Death Eater was being exposed. He wondered if that’s what happened to Augustus, if he got caught and the only way out was to become an informant of some kind. Orion didn’t want to believe it either. He didn’t want to think anyone in their ranks would do such a thing, but thinking that alone was naive and ignorant.
Then again, the only time Orion ever opened his mouth while at the mercy of Aversio was to spit more insults and to ask if that’s all they fucking got. How did Augustus handle that under the pressure of Aurors, of whoever had him alone in that room at the Ministry? Orion shook his head at both himself and Cassius, “No one will think you’re guilty by association just because you’re his friend. No matter what happens, especially if I have anything to say about it.” And he would have a lot to say about it if it ever came to that. Did Cassius know that? Orion hoped he did.
Orion liked to think that he has seen Cassius for all that he is, but never once has he heard him say that he was scared. Him? The man he would always want by his side in a fight? Orion couldn’t believe it; he tried to keep his face neutral, but the confused wrinkles on his forehead gave him away. He opened his mouth to say something, but it occurred to him that he didn’t know what to say. Instead, Orion watched the way Cassius balled his fists up, watched as he got angrier with each word. “Cassius…” he started, still unsure of where he was going with this. He’d never seen him like this before and if Orion was being honest, that scared him. He wanted to point out that only Augustus would be getting hurt, possibly even while he was proving his innocence, but Orion knew that wasn’t the right thing to say. “If he is innocent then he has nothing to fear, even now, even you.”
Orion watched him closely, knowing there was nothing he could do to calm him down. He had turned his head away for maybe a second, trying to organize his own thoughts, when he heard Cassius punch the wall. Orion was standing and stalking over to him before he knew it, eyes narrowed. This wasn’t like Cassius. The anger he was familiar with, but it wasn’t what he was use to seeing from him, and frankly, Orion wasn’t going to let him feel that way any longer. “No, you listen,” Orion roughly grabbed a hold of Cassius’ hand to observe what little damage there was before making eye contact with him. Despite his harsh actions, Orion spoke calmly for the younger man, “I don’t think you’re losing it and I don’t think you look like a maniac. You’re scared, maybe even a little confused. That’s normal. You said you’re angry– let me help you. What do you plan to do?”
I don’t think you’re losing it... let me help you. Orion’s words rang in Cassius’s mind. After the way he had just acted and the insanity of his actions, Orion was still willing to help. The more he thought about it the more it baffled him. Cassius always thought of their relationship as very surface level, not delving into deep emotional territory at all, but Orion’s actions tonight were making him think otherwise. He knew that Orion cared for him, but he was just now starting to realize how much he cared.
Lost in thought he finally realized that Orion had asked him a question. For the first time that day Cassius smiled. “What do I plan to do? Orion, this is me you’re talking to, I never have a plan.” It was true, he had no plan, no idea of what he could do. What he wanted to do was find out who held Augustus captive and tortured him. He wanted to find out who actually revealed the Death Eaters secrets. While he had inklings towards who may have been the informant, he didn’t feel nearly confident enough to share that. Especially considering he thought it was Cassandra and he knew how close Orion was to her. The last thing Cassius needed right now was to lose Orion’s trust by accusing someone he cared for.
He slid his hand from Orion’s grasp and examined it for himself. As he had suspected there were small tears in the skin on and around his knuckles. Though he could have healed it with magic, he didn’t particularly want to. It was a minor enough wound for him to leave alone so he walked over to the kitchen and grabbed the small box of bandages and potions he kept out of the cabinet. He quickly and haphazardly wrapped a bandage around his hand. As he spoke he leaned forward, resting his weight against his hands which now lay flat on the counter. “I feel so lost.” He wanted to think of something to say, something witty and more like his usual. However, the gravity of the situations unfolding in their world simply weighed too heavily in the air to be ignored. He felt like he was suffocating, like he was completely helpless....
Cassius took a breath, thinking about what he needed to do. How has everything gotten so fucked up? It was a question he wouldn’t be able to answer anytime soon. He wasn’t going to let his mind delve into the depressing and nearly incapacitating thoughts it kept trying to drag him into. “What do you think I should do? And I understand if you don’t want to be involved in any of this. It’s not your cross to bear.” Of course he hoped Orion would help as he had said he would, he needed a strong and mentally stable person in his life right now, but it was hardly fair to ask the older man for help in a situation that had no effect on him. The outburst that Cassius had had moments ago, felt like hours with the speed his mind was moving at. And yet despite the rapidness of his thoughts, he still couldn’t come up with any solutions or answers.
