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We all know that exams, tests and deadlines can be full of stress and anxiety. Itâs an unavoidable part when youâre studying at school, college or university. However, stress can do real damage and lead to a lot of serious health problems or worsen them, such as depression, heart disease, asthma or obesity. To avoid this, you need to find ways to relax a little and deal with all of that stress. The following tips that I recommend are really simple and well known but it really might help you through the preparation for exams so have a read!
Go for a walk. It will help you to calm down your thoughts and feel refreshed.
Sleep well. You may see this tip everywhere but trust me, you really need to have enough hours of sleep to do well. Itâs not going to be useful if youâre going to study until 3 A.M. when youâre drowsy and exhausted.
Compliment your family members and friends. It wonât just decrease stress but will make the other person happy, which will make you happy.
Make time for breaks. You should stay focused for about 50 minutes, then take a 10 minute break to do some exercise or just to change the activity and do something else. After a break, you will feel better able to  concentrate.
Actively interact. Itâs one of the main things that will help you to decrease stress and helps you to think about other things for a while.
Eat dark chocolate. It is scientifically proven that people who eat chocolate in moderation are more likely to focus better and be in a better mood.
Always eat breakfast. It will help you to gain more energy, be more concentrated and focused. Grab some fruit which has vitamin C. It strengthens your immune system and again, helps you to focus.
Change your routine. Even a little change in your life like a new haircut can make your day.
Learn to say ânoâ. Before accepting a task, consider all the pros and cons. Do not take the task if you know that you wonât be able to do it on time or you just feel like there arenât many benefits in doing so.
LOVE YOURSELF. Spend your time doing activities you like and those which put a smile on your face. Finding a hobby can increase the quality of your life and protect you from feelings of hopelessness. Â
A lot of people say I spend too much time on my phone. If I'm not scrolling through my timeline, I'm retweeting a friend or eyeing yoga masters on Instagram. I would like to say that my phone is an extension of me, but in actual fact it's the apps that are ruling my life.
Every night I find myself sleeping between 11 pm and midnight. No, I'm not working or exercising, Instead I am looking at new recipes, liking inspirational quotes, and saving videos. It was only when I noticed how my writing was suffering due to my chronic fatigue ( I can't function on six hours of sleep) that I decided to deactivate my Facebook account, and reassess my fascination with social media.
Was social media worsening my depression? Were my eating habits being impacted? Did I sacrifice quality time for a like and a 160 character post? Was social media really taking over my day to day life?
There have been many studies that have linked depression to social media usage. Countless of articles can be read on this topic, but below are five ways social media is impacting your mental health:
1. Addiction
How much time do you spend on social media everyday? Although most of us always claim to not have time, the average person spends almost two hours everyday on social media. Whether it's Twitter, Facebook or Instagram; we spend valuable minutes doing very little apart from liking and commenting. Whether it is to escape our daily reality, or pass time, we feel a compulsive need to check our accounts. Just to make sure there are no unattended notifications. The idea of addiction may seem far fetched, but when was the last time you were at a social gathering and people weren't on their phones updating Snapchat or Pinterest?
Are you addicted to social media? Use the Bergen Facebook Addiction Scale (BFAS) to find out.
2. Poor productivity
A few minutes on YouTube, becomes 5 hours. The report on your desk is not even touched, and you promised your boss you would do it first thing in the morning. Although we all claim to be masters at multitasking, the brain has difficulty focusing on more than one task at a time. So instead of giving 100% to the task at head, your focus becomes divided between your job, updating your Facebook status and following the latest trending topic. This leaves you mentally exhausted, and in a lot of trouble with the boss.
3. Low self-esteem
Why am I so fat? Maybe I should dress like that? Will I ever get married? Am I good enough?
These are just a few of the questions many of us ask ourselves as we scroll through profiles on social media. Our times lines are filled with announcements of marriage, pregnancy and dream vacations. We see pictures of flashy cars and fancy offices, all in the while wishing we were them. However one needs to keep in mind that social media is deceiving in many aspects. People always out their best foot forward, often embellishing their reality. All in attempts to make themselves feel less inadequate than the next person.
4. Cyber bullying
Cyber bullying is the ugly side of social media that many do not talk about. A growing percentage of users are becoming victim to cyber bullying, but a very small percentage of this harassment is reported to site administrators or law enforcement. Cyber bullying includes offensive speech, posting embarrassing or sexually suggestive images of an individual on social media without their permission, as well as threats against ones life.
5. Reduced physical activity
An increasing number of people are opting out of exercise in order to have more time on social media. Poor blood circulation and an increase in unhealthy snacking are just a few examples of what happens when one chooses social media over the gym.
Have you become a victim of social media? Perhaps you would like to join me as I challenge myself to a month with no Facebook (perhaps Instagram will follow)?
Ever feel like youâre stuck in a rut? Do you often tell yourself that life will be better after this week, better after exams are finished, better after you leave school or move to a new job? Ever tell yourself that your future will be better? Well then, you are simply in a case of preventing yourself from having the best life now.
There is a wonderful quote by the author and motivational speaker Jack Canfield that reads âEverything you want is on the other side of fearâ. A common way that fear rears its ugly head in everyday life is in the form of procrastination. I often found myself unable to start a project or assignment in fear of not performing to the best of my ability. You may also find yourself not exercising, or not eating well, and making the excuse that you will start tomorrow. This all because of the fear of failure. What if I cave halfway through my lifestyle change and binge on food that isnât good for my body? What if I get a C on the test? What if I canât find the motivation to exercise? We instead fill ourselves with the dream and hope that one day we will fit into a certain jean size or get paid an inordinate amount for a job thatâs the easiest thing weâve ever done, and so we build ourselves a blanket of disillusionment by doing so.
Firstly, a large problem is with the idealistic and unhealthy nature of these dreams. You shouldnât measure your worth by a number on a piece of fabric, nor should you aim to obtain a job that doesnât push you. Secondly, and most importantly, you promise yourself you will have a better life in the future, and so prevent yourself from building a better life now.
The present is all that is guaranteed. The present is all that we have to clutch at with our fingertips. What if that future never comes, because you are always promising yourself that you will start tomorrow? What if by the time youâre 70, you look back and wonder where the past went and what you wasted it fretting over? I personally used to struggle HUGE amounts with this. I used to lounge about doing NOTHING, and honestly, when I did that, I was the saddest I have ever been. I find my happy place in being productive, in being busy. The more I work and fight for what I want to become now, the happier and less stressed I feel. Every time I complete a piece of work, I feel like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders, and I am ready to start the next piece.
It is a problem that I see every day in the people around me. I am currently studying for my GCSEs, and almost everyone vows that they will be happier when exams are finished, when itâs summer, when all this is over. However, this is an extremely dangerous mindset. Not only is memory linked to overall happiness, but you also prevent yourself from ever living your life. Soon enough they will be complaining about how they will be happy once their A-Levels or over, or after they finish uni. Of course you are going to face hardships, life is all about overcoming these and pushing forward with the life you want to live.
Promise yourself today that you will work towards the future that you want, that you will take the baby steps necessary to obtain a stronger core, or to eat less sugar, or to gain more knowledge on a particular subject. Life is all about baby steps, you are not going to get your goals in the day, but the most important thing is that you start now. Build your better life now.
- Megan
Traveling is on almost everyone's bucket list, which is why it's possible to feel that it is not an important enough goal - it's too clichĂŠ. I have heard some people comment on how 'everyone wants to travel', rolling their eyes, suggesting that to hold this yearning is to be a sheep.Â
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I say, do not let that discourage you to fulfil this dream and share it with others. Sometimes the best things in life are clichĂŠ. For good reason, traveling is a common dream - not only is it a luxury to be able to have such an experience, you have the opportunity to appreciate the beauty of the diverse world we live in. If you'd like to engulf your senses with the different flavours, styles and scents of other cultures, thatâs a pretty admirable dream.Â
If you are interested in studying psychology at university, I have created a little guide that will hopefully get you thinking about whether it is the degree for you.
The assumptions
It wasnât the easiest decision to study psychology at university; although I absolutely fell in love with it, I couldnât help but feel discouraged by the grimaces on the faces of some teachers and distant family members.
Psychology has had difficulties building a positive reputation, a reputation as a science. Instead, psychology has been dubbed as a âwannabeâ science, still associated with phrenology, mesmerism and spiritualism. As a consequence, the potential development of this field has been hindered by the lack of funding. It is a therefore a relatively new area of study at university. Many assume that it is an âeasyâ degree, but truth be told, no degree is an easy journey.
What itâs really like
Many people fail to realise the scientific nature of psychology - studying it at university is unlike what you study at lower levels of education. Forget Freud, you are to become familiar with Wilhelm Wundt, William James, John B. Watson, Ivan Pavlov and the like.
Just like science, it is all about taking a critical approach. Science is not always fact - one of the principles of science is to disprove, disprove and disprove.Â
You learn about the brain: the structure, the elements, influences on behaviour, cognitions. You may have some mathematical modules, more precisely focused on producing and analysing statistics. This is why you are required to obtain good grades in at least one A-Level science subject as a prerequisite, but of course this varies depending on the university you are applying to. Be prepared for a lot of essay writing mixed with laboratory work.
What I study
Psychology is an applied science, with there being many different branches. I have studied: language acquisition as well as occupational, cognitive, positive, social, clinical, developmental and evolutionary psychology. I have also had some lessons on the history of science, neurobiology, and biology.
Why study it?
University is definitely an investment - some people aim to achieve a degree that will hopefully settle them with a high paying job, traveling down a very narrow, deterministic route. The sheer broadness of psychology is what I think people are afraid of; you open multiple doors to many fields of work. However, it is also important for you to enjoy what you are learning because youâll be dedicating three or more years of your life to it, not to forget taking examinations and writing up lengthy assignments based on what you have learnt from those lengthy lecture and lengthy textbooks.Â
Psychology teaches many applicable skills to real life that you can exercise day to day rather than waiting for a job to allow for this. It has definitely helped with my ability to think critically/scientifically and also has improved my writing and numeracy skills. You wonât be able to read minds, though. You laugh, but youâd be surprised by how many people ask me to guess what theyâre thinking!
One in four people worldwide will be affected by a mental disorderly some point in their life. According to the World Health Organisation (WHO) 450 million people are currently suffering from a mental disorder, making it one of the leading causes of ill-health in the world. However more than half of these people do not seek medical help due to the stigma attached to mental disorders. Why is this the case?
There is a lot of misunderstanding and lack of information surrounding mental illnesses. I often hear people say they feel âtotally depressedâ because they had to work overtime at work, or some referring to their need to clean their rooms every week as âthe OCD part of meâ.
This is where the problem lays.
Depression is not synonymous with sadness, OCD does not mean tidiness and bipolar has nothing to do with regular mood swings. The improper use of mental disorders as adjectives leads many to believe that people choose to be ill, removing the severity of such illnesses. The casual nature with which many use these words further perpetuates the shame that many sufferers feel, reducing the chances of them getting the help they need. In certain instances, the improper usage of these terms glamorises certain ailments without understanding the torment true sufferers go through.
So before you claim to be OCD, or call your friend bipolar, remember the following.
1. OCD extends beyond neatness
OCD is defined by the National Institute of Mental Health as a common, chronic and long-lasting disorder in which a person has uncontrollable, reoccurring thoughts (obsessions) and behaviors (compulsions) that he or she feels the urge to repeat over and over. These obsessions and compulsions take many forms over and above neatness such as: hoarding, aggression, and mental rituals.
Those who suffer from OCD feel compelled to do everything in even numbers, or never throw away items all in an attempt to reduce the idea that something may harm them or their family. They do not choose to do it, neither to they find it fun.
2. Â Bipolar Polar does not mean mood swings
Every one goes through ups and downs, but not everyone is bipolar. The National Institute of Mental Health defines bipolar disorder, also known as manic-depressive illness, as a brain disorder that causes unusual shifts in mood, energy, activity levels, and the ability to carry out day-to-day tasks. The manic phase may involve irritability, anger and depression, which may be accompanied by euphoria. Mania may manifest in the form of overconfidence, periods of overspending and promiscuity.
People with bipolar disorder often find it difficult to get the correct medication as the illness is often misdiagnosed as attention-deficit-hyperactivity disorder (ADHD), schizophrenia or borderline personality disorder. During this period of diagnoses, many lose their jobs, damage relationships or end their lives.
3. Depression is not sadness
We all go through ups and downs, but we often bounce back. The National Institute of Mental Health defines depression as severe symptoms that interfere with your ability to work, sleep, study, eat, and enjoy life. An episode can occur only once in a personâs lifetime, but more often, a person has several episodes. The definition sounds vague because depression is a very complex disorder. It affects motivation, concentration and ones ability to function daily. It impacts many systems of the body causing weight loss or weight gain, a suppressed immune system and insomnia (Psychology Today).
People with depression canât simply become happy or pull themselves together. The illness often renders people unable to even perform the simplest tasks, such as getting out of bed.
So before you wish to embellish your vocabulary, make sure you donât use terms that may negatively impact others.
"What is the trigger?" people ask me. I don't know. I just begin to feel myself fade away. Slowly, everything becomes black.
When I finally wake, I am trapped in my own body. My soul speaks but my lips refuse to move. I watch as people look into my eyes as though searching for proof of life. I can't reach out to touch them. I can't ask for help. My body becomes a fortress, and I am the only prisoner. And when I'm alone, the depression surfaces. It fills my head with all sorts of worries and fears, making me believe that the world would be better off without me. It pushes me further into a dark corner, cutting me off from all those that are able and willing to help me. Like a jealous boyfriend, it wants me all to itself.
Does the above sound familiar? Below are ten warning signs that you or a loved one may be suffering from depression.
1. Changes in sleeping patterns (insomnia and sleeping too much)
When I was in my third year at university, I could hardly get out of bed. I wanted to sleep all the time. There were moments where I would wake up, shower and then go back to sleep. Nothing seemed important or relevant  besides sleep. However when I got to my fourth year, I couldn't sleep at all. I was always awake. I found myself going for days with little to no sleep. I would be moody and agitated because my mind seemed to be working all the time.
2. Chronic fatigue
Even when I got over 10 hours of sleep, I was still very tired. I would miss work because my body felt too exhausted to function at its normal rate. At first I would attribute it to stress caused by unrealistic deadlines. However I found that even on holidays when stress was at zero, my energy levels were still poor.
3. Thoughts of suicide or death
My fascination with my own death became a recurring thought. I would think of ways I could make my death look like an accident so that my family didn't have to deal with the shame of a suicide. I even tried on a few occasions (thankfully I was not successful).
4. Changes in eating patterns
It is normal to have weight fluctuations; it's another thing for your relationship with food to change drastically. During my worst episodes, I would lose a lot of weight because I couldn't bring myself to eat. I felt fat and disgusting; food became the enemy.
5. Persistent sadness
It's normal to get sad. There are many things that occur every day that can leave us feeling down. However with depression I noticed that these feelings of depression would come out of the blue. One moment I would be happy and laughing, the next I would be crying heavily without knowing the cause. These crying spells would last for weeks, growing in intensity.
6. Physical pain that won't go away
For the longest time I had terrible back pains. I thought it was perhaps the heavy bags I carried to school, or the car accident I was in later on in university. I went to doctors and physiotherapists to see if I could find a way to make the main go away. The back pains were crippling. I would lie in bed unable to move because the pain was too much to bear. All the years I visited my doctors, not one thought it could be depression.
7. Difficulty concentrating, memory and decision making
I'm not sure how I got my degree. Most of my varsity life seems to be a haze. I do remember never really finishing anything because I couldn't focus. My mind would jump from one idea to another, trying to decide which was more important. Making me look indecisive and unaware of my surroundings. People would call me random because I would talk about a million things in one sentence, not knowing that my brain was trying to filter and remember at speeds faster than it could manage.
8. Loss of interest in hobbies and other activities
Everything seems to slow down when you are depressed. The things you loved start to seem like a waste of time. The world becomes dull. It is almost as though you can see the colour wash out of life; the vivid kaleidoscope of colour becomes a dull grey. I would find myself not wanting to write or listen to music because it felt pointless.
9. Feeling of hopelessness
The one feeling that I always remember when I think of my episodes is the feeling of total despair. Everything feels lost. I remember feeling as though my world was ending, and no one could stop it. There was no bright side, or silver lining. It felt like every day was spent in the shadows of sorrow and sadness, and I couldn't escape.
10. Anger and irritability
The smallest thing would get on my nerves. If someone walked passed me and brushed my shoulder I would get upset. In my mind it was as though the world was out to get me, and I had to defend myself. In those moments I felt alone and insecure; I felt like a wounded animal.
If any of these signs apply to you or a loved one, talk about it and seek help. Having an environment where you feel safe to share your emotions is crucial to winning the fight against depression.
A lot of people say that your teenage years are the most memorable and happiest parts of your life and theyâre probably right. This is the period when you can be free, wild and reckless. Iâm still a teenager and I want to share some tips which I discovered from my personal experience. Â
DO:
Try as many activities as you can. There are a lot of things you can take part in. It will help you to understand what you really enjoy doing and that will help you to develop your personality. Try jogging or a more active sport, try debate club or riding. There are a lot of hobbies you can experiment with and get to know your strong suits.
Stand up for your opinion and beliefs. Teenage years are hard because you feel a lot of pressure and hear a lot of opinions from your surroundings about how you should think and live your life but always trust your gut.
Always accept invitations from your friends to have fun or go to some party. You will create new memories with your friends and also itâs a perfect opportunity to meet new friends, to meet new people with the same or different outlook on a lot of things and that will help you grow as a person. Talk with some stranger at the party, be brave, make connections and just have fun. Enjoy your adolescence.
Work for your dreams. What youâre doing right now will reflect in your future. Thatâs why you always need to invest in yourself, always learn new things, and do not stop. These days, in social media, you can see a lot of posts which could encourage you to do nothing and just wait for your beautiful future but thatâs not the best plan. Create your goals and find out the necessary actions to achieve it. You will be surprised what you are capable of, how you can achieve something if you really want it! And I can promise, when you achieve your goals, the feeling is priceless.
Fall in and out of love. You will get your heart broken, you will break someoneâs heart and sadly, this is how it works. You will have a lot of new crushes, new loves but most importantly - never beg for someoneâs attention and their love. If that person doesnât want your love â do not give it to them. You will find a lot of people who are worth much more. You told someone that you like them and they did not respond? Do not cry over that. You tried, and now you move on.
DONâT:
As I said, teenage years are wild so do not ever regret something you did. You might think that it was stupid, it was reckless but whatever you did, donât regret it. Youâre a teenager, you can do crazy things, because when we grow up, they act as lessons, and I can bet that we will only be regretting things we havenât done.Â
Do not be friends with people who always let you down. This is one of the most important things I have noticed. Probably, in your teenage years, your friendship circle is going to change really often and thatâs why you need to choose and keep the best friends in your life . Be friends with someone who you can talk about everything with. About education, your goals, things which inspire you and not just gossip. Be friends with someone who improves you and the most important - believes in you. You donât need someone who is always letting you down or someone who is always negative.Â
DO NOT doubt in yourself. Know your value and know what youâre capable of. Other people`s opinion is very important to you when youâre a teenager, but YOURS should be more important.Â
Do not believe everything you see and hear. Especially in this time, teenagers are creating drama and lies. Do not EVER believe in rumours and do not spread them either. Also, do not always believe what you see on social media. People know very well how to represent themselves and their lives.
Green tea is all over the blogosphere but believe it or not, I have not tried it out until now. I was aware of the many benefits, but being someone who isnât the biggest fan of tea or coffee (I know, gasp), I wasnât too quick to join the club. Browsing through my local Holland & Barrett, a little voice in my head told me itâs time.
Rather than your regular green tea, I was drawn to an organic âgreen tea chaiâ by Higher Living, described to be infused with cinnamon, cardamom, clove and orange peel, and for ÂŁ1.99, I was equipped with twenty bags to put to the test.
First impression:
I got a regular cup ready and brought it to my room, where I let it cool for a few minutes as instructed. My mother walked in and noted how lovely my room was smelling. Though the scent was pretty strong, the tea tasted just right. Not too spicy, but not bland either. Goldilocks would approve.
Ten days later:
It was a surprisingly pleasant experience getting a cup of aromatic green tea ready each day - I think Iâll make this a habit. I have noticed that in drinking this, my skin has been doing better and I do not have that dreadful bloated feeling anymore. I do not drink more than one cup per day like many others due to health reasons (I should keep caffeine intake to a minimum if I want to keep my endometriosis behaving). Nonetheless, I am eager to try out the other flavours on offer.
Do you like to drink green tea? Why?Â
- MairaÂ
I know itâs February, but welcome to the New Year! For me, 2016 is about finding myself, being creative, and continuing to work hard to achieve my goals. Recently I have noticed something in myself that I was unaware of before. I seem to be getting upset with myself because I am not achieving these goals as quick as I thought I could. I guess Iâm tired of my resolutions and just want them to be over by January!
I think that as humans we forget that things take time and then we become hard on ourselves. I made a list of ten things I want to accomplish by the end of 2016 and whenever I see it I get a little bit stressed out, as if thereâs an upcoming deadline. For some reason I feel that if I accomplish any of those goals in December of 2016, it wonât count; newsflash it will because it will still be 2016! Personally, I need to take the time to be inspired to work hard and then I feel as if Iâm accomplishing those goals.
To be inspired, I read, books and magazines, create Pinterest boards, write, and exercise. You might think that exercise is a weird way to get inspired, but it actually helps a lot! The act of doing something physical makes me feel empowered, which helps me move on with my day with a positive outlook.
If youâre like me and feel like youâre in a slow point in your life, do one of the things I mentioned above. To me, inspiration and positivity are linked. When Iâm inspired, I feel more confident, think happy thoughts, and have the mindset to get things done. Find inspiration everywhere and youâll be able to accomplish your goals!Â
If you have read my post reviewing Alice Hoffmanâs âThe Museum of Extraordinary Thingsâ, you would know that I am taking a break from the much-loved genre that is crime and thriller, to make some time for the others on my bookshelves that are unfortunately gathering dust. Since then, I have chosen five other books that I aim to read over the next three months. It was difficult deciding, so I allowed myself to pick two out of five books that are more sinister, kind of like a security blanket as I venture out to other genres.
1. A Tap on the Window - Linwood Barclay
âDong the right thing could be your biggest mistakeâ
A man who goes from Good Samaritan to Murder Suspect overnight.
2. The Miniaturist - Jessie Burton
A cabinet-sized replica of a newly married coupleâs home and a miniaturist who seems to hold their fate in his hands.
3. Sharp Objects - Gillian Flynn
The debut novel from the author of Gone Girl.
4. The Art of Hearing Heartbeats - Jan-Philipp Sendker
Tells a story of love; a young blind manâs journey through a world of auditory intensity.
5. Waiting for Columbus - Thomas Trofimuk
Part romance, part mysterious thriller, this is a novel about love, loss, and fragile beauty of our own life stories.
A message filled with repetitive reminders, with love, positivity, sadness, being blue, anger, madness and other indescribable feelings. A message meant to be read, cried at, laughed at and meant to comprehend its meaning. A message you can read at any time, at any moment and at any place. A message I wrote for every single beautiful soul out there; this is for you.
âHey darling, youâre a work of art. Not everyone will understand you but the ones who do, will never forget you.â
To those who once became part of my life, to my old friends, I am sorry we drifted apart. I am glad we became friends though. Thank you for sharing your experience and your journey with me; I will continue to treasure every memory that we both shared in my journey and I hope you would do the same. Thank you for the random conversations, handwritten letters, poems, little trinkets we gave and shared to one another. You were amazing friends. You are, I mean. Thank you for the little adventures we had. Thank you for being there for me when I was at my worst. Call me when you get lonely, I am still here for you even if we donât get to talk as much.
To those who are hiding their pain by masking themselves with a smile, continue smiling at anyone you see; believe me, you would be surprised at how many smiles will crease upon strangersâ faces with delight and mystery.
To those who are struggling from a health problem â both physical and mental â please, stay strong. Do remember that there are people who love you dearly, there are people who support you and remember that you are loved and cared by everyone around you. Smile, if you are reading this because smiles are priceless and you are a beautiful soul. Take your prescribe dose of medication. Drink plenty of water. Erase process junk food from your life. Eat lots of greens. Laugh because it is the best medicine out there. PLEASE DO NOT GIVE UP. I am sending you cyber hugs and my love.
To the broken-hearted, cheer up. It may seem like you will never be with the right person but trust me, you will. Moving on and letting go is both hard and painful, Iâve been there. I still am. In the sands of time, it may seem slow and you want to be with someone right now but please, you have to be patient. Distract yourself with whatever makes you happy. And guess what? Itâs not your loss, itâs theirs. He/she/they mightâve left footprints scarring you but someday, someone will walk into your life, proving why it never worked out with the one you once loved. Someone will fall in love with you so deeply that you donât even realise. He/she will fall in love with you at the most random moment, perhaps he/she will fall in love with you at the parts where no one else gets to see, falling in love with you after seeing you at your most vulnerable. You are special. You are unique. You bring spark to the world that reverberate with happiness. Who knows? You may be the reason why a certain special person is smiling right now. Keep your head up, my love.
To the blue, depressed, miserable, hopeless, suicidal and lonely, hello there. I am here for you and you are not alone. I can reassure you that you can message me anytime of the day or night and I will reply. I am here to listen to all your worries â all you have to say. Itâs tough at some times, I know. Iâve been there. I still am. But please donât lose hope. I know what it feels like to not want to wake up the next day or to just lay in bed, paralysed. The empty pillow talk at night when my demons play up, the silent cries and pleas of wanting to be okay, to be understood, infinite questions, trying my best to be good enough just to make my parents proud. Sometimes I feel like depression is an invisible plague and everyone around me is completely oblivious. I still suffer from depression, anxiety, self harm and my traumatic past. However, recovery is beautiful. I am still recovering; I am still healing.
Sometimes, some things trigger me to harm myself; I try my hardest to distract myself with art and literature â two of the things I love most. Do you ever feel so worthless that you want to burst like a bubble? Or perhaps drift afloat in the air and never be seen again? And do you ever feel so bottled that you are about to violently explode like an explosive device? Well, let me hug you with words of utmost joy filling you with the atmosphere of pure bliss. Let me be the spectrum of all colours in your world of black and white. Let my message to you wipe away those tears. Let me ignite you with the words âit will get better soon and it will be okayâ. Please do not give up. If you donât feel like talking to me, you should know that there is someone out there who is willing to listen, to understand, to help you, to support you and be there for you. I may not be in your shoes but I have gone through so much pain that brick walls and razor blades became my best friends. In worst cases, I have attempted to take my own life. Everyone is going through something, I understand and I care.
To everyone who is uncertain about what they want to be or what they simply want in life, itâs okay. Take time to discover what you want or who you really want to be. Get out there and explore the intricate mysteries of the world. Ask questions. Find answers or leave it be. Experiment. Take risks. Go on adventures. Be passionate about something you love. Be alone. Be with friends. Be with those you love. Meet new people. Live simply. Read a book. Write a letter, a poem. Compose a song. Do whatever makes you happy. Make a bucket list. Take photographs. Play an instrument. Smile at everyone. Do one random act of kindness every day. Breathe in. Breathe out. Be positive. Be negative. Help everyone, anyone. Say hello. Say hi. Exchange helloâs and hiâs with a stranger. Be ambitious. Step out of your comfort zone. Dream. Exchange conversations with anyone. Be understanding. Repay a bully with kindness because it will lift up your spirit and flatter your fat heart. Listen to the stories of a random stranger because their stories are always fascinating; learn from their experiences.
To the people I will meet in the future, to the person reading this, to every single precious soul out there, I wrote this for you:
Perhaps you are reading this or youâre wrapped up in the sheets of confusion and sadness, let this be a constant reminder that you are wonderful and pulchritudinous and precious. This is a reminder to each and everyone of you that whatever you are going through, no matter how dark your past is, there is someone out there who cares, who understands, who listens, who will not criticise you, who will help you, who will make you happy and who will exchange stories and experiences with you. You will get through and it takes time. All of your sufferings that youâve gone through and yet to undergo shall pass because nothing lasts forever and you are going to be okay soon. Repetitive I know. It has to tattoo in your head, in your mind that you are a blessing to me and to those around you. You are important. You have to fathom your worth even when you do not feel worthy. You have a purpose, a meaning that you have yet to unfold in the next chapters of your life. Life may not seem to be what you expect in fairytales or in the movies because this is reality. Make life your bitch. Do not let anything or anyone hinder you from doing what you love the most. Be honest with yourself. Reminisce the past. Cry if you want to. Allow yourself to feel all other feelings you have yet to feel. Love yourself first. As the days go by, as you get older, your understanding about life deepens and youâll realise that itâs okay to be alone in life.
Stop being a paradox. Itâs time for change. Stop waiting for a whole new year to start fresh, to change and to wait for change. If you make a mistake, donât wait for the next year because you have to grasp every minute, every second, every sunlight, every opportunity of what today brings you. Live it to the fullest. Every second of your life is a great opportunity. It is time to be happy. It is time to accept who you are. Accept your flaws. And someday, someone will fall in love you, not only for your inner and outer beauty, but also for your flaws. It is time to take control of your life. It is time because oh my goodness, darling, you deserve it. You are amazing. Take care of yourself, my love.
And to my future self, this is your 13-year-old self, soon-to-be-14, and I wrote this for you. This is a reminder. Remember this. Read this and let others read it. You will do great things, trust me. Smile. Life is too short to leave important words unsaid, this is why I wrote this for you. As of now, it is the 4th of March 2012 3:12 AM.
It was 2007 when I first started my period, and although I was told about its impending arrival beforehand, this didn't necessarily equip me with all the bravery, strength and patience I needed to survive a cycle. Sounds dramatic, but for a new member to the club, it can be pretty tough to figure it out. You'll mark your bedsheets with memories and prefer nothing else but to drown in your sorrows. At least that's how it was for me. I had it bad. Not everyone is the same, but I have constructed a general survival guide for the girl looking for some tips on how to adjust. Nine years and several 'talks' later, Maira knows what's good.Â
1. Prepare the battlefield Your body has hinted that it's almost time for this month's round. What is the first thing you should do? I like to get an old towel or blanket and securely lay this on top of my bed sheet to protect it and also my mattress from potential staining. Have a table, chair, anything, ready beside your bed with essentials that you'll need easy access to: your favourite book, painkillers, bottles of water, a snack and pads/tampons. Of course, the Internet and Netflix will be your best friends for the next couple of hours, if they aren't already. If you get nauseous, have a bin nearby too - better safe than sorry. Some people like to have minimal clutter, but others like myself enjoy having pillows and cushions on the bed, used to support my back or keep me from tossing around too much at night. A fan is a must-have as I feel my body gets real hot real quick and this discomfort will just add to the nausea.Â
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2. Find your energy source If you get sick, try to take sips of water or suck on ice. This should keep you hydrated without triggering that reflex. Some tolerable foods for me include plain rice, honey Cheerios (without the milk), cinnamon crackers, Twister ice-cream and bananas. This is what I pretty much live on for a week because anything else comes right back out. Bananas have been said to relieve cramps for some women, so it's worth a try. Stay away from caffeine, dairy and spicy foods because these can make you feel worse. Figure out what works for you - it may be that you won't be so sensitive to foods (in that case, bon appĂŠtit, my friend).Â
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3. Get in your uniform I have a few undies and pyjamas dedicated to this time. Ones that are really comfortable and ones that, unfortunately bear some war paint from previous rounds. Don't look at me like that, these are tough stains to get out and why ruin another pair of pyjamas? If you're going out, dresses are pretty comfortable. I know it sounds daring, but the absence of a jean's waist pressing against your abdomen is what makes it a desirable alternative for me. Pull on some tights for security and you're good to go. Now if you're team pad and want extra security, I find that wearing another pair of underwear keeps it in place. Be sure that it's the breathable kind! Lastly, you can purchase adhesive heat patches that will warm up the aching areas, whether you want to target your back, pelvis or both.Â
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In the end, look after yourself. Let your body do its thing and you'll be back on your feet in no time!Â
Blogging is my hobby. I love to write, and I love to share. I love to read, and I love to have conversations with other people around the world who have similar - or even different - views to my own. It doesnât matter to me how many people are interested in my content, but it helps to know that there are people out there enjoying what I create. Quality content, aesthetic design and interaction are all very important in attracting an audience, but as they say, organisation is key.
I like to have an article published here at least three times a week to keep things consistent and active. Due to the nature of my blog being more like a âmagazineâ, with many writers and covering a variety of content, itâs important for me to regularly post and promote so that there is something for everyone. To achieve this, I have mastered organisation after some trial and error.
âł Calendar + Scheduling
Be it digital or physical, you canât go wrong with a calendar. I prefer have a physical one on my pin-board in my room, that way, itâs right in my face at all times reminding me of when I should write the posts and when I should post them, the guest posts Iâm waiting for, Twitter chat times and a list of potential ideas. Of course, there are posts that I donât plan, they just happen, so I work around those too. Itâs very easy making changes, highlighting, circling, and putting arrows everywhere, but as a visual person, it all makes sense to me.
Side note: I have a little âcoming upâ section on the sidebar of this blog which gives readers an insight on the content they should expect, and I hope allows new visitors to see whether Iâm worth following.Â
In the end, I always have a good bunch of articles scheduled. I also make good use of the drafts folder, where I have all the pictures ready to be wrapped in some writing. I like to make the title images and take the photos I need before the actual writing sessions (most of the time). Plus, I like to scroll through a bunch of pretty pictures in my drafts which gives me a quick idea of what is pending for me to work on.
âł Evernote
I am that blogger who is constantly waiting for inspiration and itching to write down my thoughts: the Evernote app helps me with this. It is a beautifully designed piece of magic that allows you to write wherever you are, whenever you please, and it will automatically sync across all of your devices. I have downloaded it on my phone, tablet and laptop. This means that when I have a lightbulb appear in the middle of my bus journey, I can tap away at my phone and revisit my work when I get to my laptop. It makes the whole editing process that much easier, and when itâs finally ready to publish, I import it to my blog.
âł Hootsuite
It took me a while to get into the habit of Twitter; I never really had a personal one, so I didnât quite know how to use it. After a few months of blogging, I realised that it is okay to promote your posts more than once, so that more and more people can see it. Hootsuite allows me to schedule these kinds of posts as well as a few others so that I donât have to be tapping at my phone all day - the ability to shrink URLs has also changed the game for me.Â
As for the blog posts I know are coming up, I like to have a bunch of drafts with pictures saved, all ready for links to be inserted so I can quickly post them when the article is up.Â
âł Lists
Possibly every bloggerâs favourite thing to do, I keep lists everywhere. On my phone, on my hand, the corner of my lecture notes - whatever is available. It is not until I have a bit of time when I copy them into a small notebook that has all my ideas - ones I have written crossed off, and ones I no longer like scribbled away.Â
I love reading anything crime and thriller, however, I have recently decided to take a break from the dark side, and delve into the other section of my bookcase - that is, anything that is not Tess Gerritsen. I am the type of person who will buy several books to add to my collection, and read them later on whenever I please, gliding my finger across my library of now 300+ books, waiting for the one that speaks to me at that moment. Last week, I gravitated towards Alice Hoffmanâs âThe Museum of Extraordinary Thingsâ.
â...part love story, part mystery, party history, and all beautyâ - Jodi Picoult
As a crime novel enthusiast, I am accustomed to reading about gruesome details, that is not to say that they are no longer disturbing to me. I was surprised by the inclusion of horrific incidents painted with a fine brush, and flawed characters - that is what made it for me. It is not for the faint of heart, definitely not for someone who likes to read about perfect stories.Â
In brief, the story is about an obedient young girl, daughter to a professor who owns one of Coney Islandâs attractions: the museum of extraordinary things. Filled with people with many abnormalities, young Coralie identifies as one of them. Parallel to this story, we are introduced to an independent young man, son to an Orthodox Jewish father, seeking his own identity.Â
As my first Hoffman book, I enjoyed the style of writing. However, in all honesty, I did not like the âlove storyâ element. I thought it a little forced, with a lack of any chemistry or progression. The two stories were great on their own, but a true link between them only really came about in the last chapters, which was a little disappointing, personally, especially as I did not understand the love story. Nonetheless, I think it is worth a read. There are many mixed reviews online, so youâll only really know whether youâll connect with the book if you pick it up yourself.
Hi. My name is Ros. I love the food channel, Paulo Coelho is my favorite writer and Iâm a fan of the Harry Potter series. Iâm a strict vegetarian, I dabble in yoga (very frequently)âŚ. and oh, I suffer from depression!
Thatâs not how I introduce myself, but that what I thought of saying when anyone asked me if and why I was single. When you suffer from a mental illness, dating can be somewhat tricky. You are not sure if you should tell the potential suitor on the first date, or wait a couple of dates. You are afraid of how they may react due to how those close to you have reacted. In most cases, you want to run back into your cave, and never come out. At least that is how I felt.
About two years ago I found myself dating a medical student. I was very excited because I thought I may have found someone that understands and can handle the reality of being with someone that has depression. However that wasnât the case. After telling him my diagnoses and the potential pitfalls we may have in future, he told me that he doesnât believe that depression is a real medication condition. The relationship ended shortly after that.
However this is not to say that depression was the cause of the break up. Rather it was my failure to understand my condition and what it means when entering a relationship that caused that relationship to fail. Below are a few things I learnt from the last two years of trying to date when suffering from a mental illness:
1. Date for the right reasons
There is this void that those with a mental illness know well. It is a void that seems to eat us from the inside, and so we try and fill it with anything we can find. Some resort to food, others to exercise, and many use other people. I, like many people, resorted to using others by entering the first thing that resembled a relationship. The relationship was not a healthy one, but I was too afraid of getting out. I was afraid that I wouldnât find someone that could love a mess like me. I began to convince myself that maybe this was the best I could get.
That is the danger with failing to enter relationships for the right reasons. You begin to believe that you are deserving of less because you suffer from depression. And thus tolerate the name abuse that might come along with the relationship.
2. Be open about your illness
I am very open about my struggle with depression (hence the blog), but found it very difficult to be vocal about it with someone I liked. Saying it out loud around them felt like being diagnosed all over again. However if this person is someone you plan to be with for a long while, then you have to allow yourself to be in that position of vulnerability. I realized this with my current partner. He found out about my depression on my blog, and asked about it when I least expected it. I then had to make the decision whether I would underplay my depression, or tell it like it is especially on bad days.
Not everyone will appreciate your openness, but those that are worth your time will.
3. Donât be offended when they ask questions
Most people only know about depression from what they see on TV. You are probably the first person that they know on a personal level that suffers from the illness, and you are nothing like what media as told them depression suffers are like. They may want to know what sets you off, or what you are like when you have an episode. They will want to know how long episodes last, and what you do to get out of those episodes. Theses questions are not to irritate you. These questions allow them to form a basis on how best to support you when you need them the most. So be open and honest when they ask questions.
4. Be open to support
It is very difficult for me to say I need help. Most of the times I feel like I am burdening someone else with my sorrow. Some days I convince myself depression is a contagious disease, that I will spread to others when I talk about it. However I soon realize that it stems from my fear of being vulnerable. I have learnt that it is okay to be vulnerable when in a healthy relationship. It is perfectly normal to ask for help, and to receive help even when you didnât expressly ask for it. Those around you see your distress and your pain, no matter how hard you try and mask it. Allow them to love you by helping in anyway they know how.
Youâd think I would be very organised during my first year at university - and I was. It was not until towards the end of the 2015 academic year when I realised that I had underestimated the level of organisation needed to keep calm. Sure, there are people who can survive ploughing through work at the last minute, but I would prefer not to put myself through that. For my second year, I rolled up my sleeves and upped my game which made a world of difference, especially with the increase in workload.
⢠Lecture notes
Some of my lecturers provide handouts of the lecture slides, where we are expected to take relevant notes as we go along. Others do not, so I print these out myself once they are available to me online. Itâs handy having all the information contained in the powerpoint presentations, as this is just the bare minimum of what you should know for the exams. I organise these by module in a big binder.
⢠Reading notes
I like to do my reading after the lecture, whilst the information is still fresh in my mind and so whatever I face in the textbook chapters or journal articles will make a lot more sense to me than if I read this months later. I highlight all the keywords and include any relevant diagrams, making them as pleasing to the eyes as possible. The finished products are organised in the same ring binder, each chapter or journal article immediately following the relevant lecture notes. Make good use of your textbooks because they hold and explain information in a way you will not find online, and of course, they are not cheap.
⢠Revision notes
Itâs great having your lecture and reading notes, but I donât find them to be the best material to revise from due to the large number of text and information. The process of attending lecture and completing your reading should provide you with a good foundation of knowledge - it is just now time to consolidate the key parts, the parts that the examiners will be looking for. I like to keep my revision notes in a small book, colour-coded, stickers and all. This is just a place where I remind myself of all I need to know in bitesize form. Later on in the year, this gets a little tedious, so some of my modules will have revision notes in digital form.
⢠Key terms and definitions
I create a booklet for each module highlighting key terms and definitions; this includes theories and specific new words that I must know in order to do well in the exam. How can you do well if you do not know what the question is asking you to do?
In addition to all this, practicing some exam questions, teaching those around you and also studying your coursework will ensure that you are confident in your knowledge.
The best way to prepare for exams is to be organised from the start, and begin your note-taking early.
