surrounded by pixelated ghosts

you're fellow digitalist in the way that i'm terrified by mathematics and amused by infinity

[my-digital-avril]

hello world! i'm cy/k1r and it's my vent-blog-personal-diary-type-shit made specifically to achieve some of my goals — to let go all of the things that have been haunting my head + practice my english

i'll tag all the suggestive or triggering stuff like tw sh related or tw suggestive, so beware!

occasional song lyrics posting, it's a complete mess :P

with that being said, hello future grandkids! if you're reading this pls be kind i'm just young&menace in this crazy ass digital era, high hopes the year 2100 or something is dope af

my tag list (constantly updated) :

tag: #family tag #friends tag #quotes tag

tw: #tw abuse #tw sh related #tw suicidal #tw suggestive #tw transphobia #tw sexual harassment

people: #ex1 #ex2 #girl a

season: #july2026

specific: #lyric posting #music talk #study struggles #web experience #maniac insomniac #cigarettes and alcohol #unholyverse #utopia/dystopia #trust issues

kinky shit: #dacryphilia #sadomasochistic tendencies #forse masc #unconsentual kisses

feelings: #i'll be your detonator (exploding with love) #stupid baka life #ambivalent #affected me a lot #atos core #god have mercy #go for it girl #ma dempa #sci-fi feeling #brotha eww #bro is so fucking mad #not a want but a need #self hug #[name] would fucking get it #idgaf anymore

starters: #ok bro what if #i must confess #remembered smth

[my-digital-avril]

"curing my desire through creation" basically how coping reality through fiction with all the kinky shit works for me.

[my-digital-avril]

life is about doing the exact opposite of what everybody expects you to do. be the worst, be the best, be unexpected and unjustifiable.

[my-digital-avril]

wow, wdym i started to think about sh and getting intoxicated over and over again lately because i was sexually harassed and just processed it and not just got into self-destructive mood out of the sudden? wowww

[my-digital-avril]

never gonna shut up about the way trans men getting erased and forgotten by society, ignored by cis men and usually oppressed psychologically by their mothers and sisters

[my-digital-avril]

"why do they refer to you with he/him pronouns?" because they fucking respect me.

[my-digital-avril]

the masculine urge to shut up and decompose on the highest mountain's valley near the stream is kicking so fucking hard lately

[my-digital-avril]

family gathering alienation

[my-digital-avril]

"i will defend you even if you'll kill a person" thanks mate, i might actually went insane and go berserk mode one day <3

[my-digital-avril]

never thought i'm gonna miss being online

[my-digital-avril]

ok bro what if i'm actually evil

[my-digital-avril]

i cut her bangs tonight. she made it special

[my-digital-avril]

i hate feeling left out, laughed at and lost in the crowd of people i love and care for

[my-digital-avril]

she jokes about me proposing to her. she laughs hard and hits my shoulder. she joked that she might accept my offer. i get so quiet or overly excited around her. i showed her my hometown and some others nearby with every picturesque view possible. she notices me tipping to teenage street musicians and bartenders. she said it's great and i inspired her to tip them as well. i said i wanna steal her whimsy notion to send postcards to friends whenever i go somewhere to friends and family. she said she wants to be my first one to receive a postcard from me. it meant a lot. it actually meant a lot.

[my-digital-avril]

she likes boys tall with glasses. i am 5'3" with contact lenses. she likes them shy and nerdy. i am performative and loud. and she likes boys with dicks, she likes boys with dicks, she likes boys with flat chest, defined abs and dicks.

[my-digital-avril]

i'm sorry i still not over my stupid crush over you.

[my-digital-avril]

american friend group summer trip