Random Dude

A life more ordinary than I like..

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Spent all day on Saturday in the garage working on my Jeep. Electrical things, switches, cables and some other tidbits. Today, Sunday, I spent the day in the house. Laundry. Dishes. Kitchen. Cooking. Huh. I’m a power couple all by myself! Woohoo. Need to get me to start gardening.

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Holy moly. He moved in. I no longer live alone. Scared. But over all happy. He can’t leave me so easily now! Muhahaha

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A bit of a rough mental day today. Lonely. Turned down a few invites to dine with people. Just wanted to be home in the midst of this crazy time in our history. My guy had to work most of the day and then headed to see his family. I was very supportive of that. He does not get to see them enough. Guess I am just feeling sorry for myself. Who knows why.

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Fuck this. Fuck that. Fuck it all... people are dumb. Nature has balance. People need pills to find it. Sucks. Go outside people. Don’t be scared of bugs.

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My boyfriend gets clingy. Really clingy some days. I know it usually happens when we don’t see each other for a few days so he wants all time together spent with each other. He was busy doing something and I’d go to my pc room and bam minutes later he is there. Wanting cuddles or something. Ok. I oblige him. But after several times of this it gets annoying. I know he doesn’t mean it like that or tries to crowd me but it’s what happens. It makes me feel like I can’t retreat in my own house. Understanding why men make man caves now which was never an issue being single. LOL. Plus he is so much better when we spend more time together, being that he isn’t as clingy. So once he has a car we can see each other more often. Patience. He is teaching me long term patience. Hope I make it to then.. 🍷🥩

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Start over? Ever wanted to just leave all you know behind. Start fresh somewhere. A new city. Maybe even a new name. Harder to do when you have big possessions and debt. Several times I think I will sell the house and some smaller stuff, pay off my debt and throw my phone away and leave. Go else where. Be as off grid as possible. What about family? What about friends? Pen a letter to them explaining your reasons for leaving so they don’t worry?

I don’t know. I wanna say it gets better and thoughts will subside. But honestly I have had them for a long while now. The job is the same even though it’s changed three times on the past 7 years. More of the same. C’est la vie...

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One year

Holy moly. A year I have been dating this guy. Crazy that this amount of time has passed. We have our ups and downs. Our learning moments and our teaching moments. He makes me smile and laugh and cry. I like him. Think I’ll keep him for awhile longer..

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It’s like he wants an argument. I don’t get it. I am currently locked out of my bathroom while he showers after I don’t see things his way. We can differ on topics. But once he explains them I am expected to agree and know that he is 100% right. I guess. I try to just say. “Ok. As you say.” And move on with to something else. To avoid the argument. But I am being dismissive of him or his point of view. I do not want the argument over something so trivial. In this case how fiber pills work in his body. I have m6 opinion and he has his. But he is right I according to him. I am wrong because I don’t take the pills. But I did take gummies with fiber. Do they swell like he says? I have no idea. I am also not a doctor.

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Dreams.. weird ones.

Had a dream the other night that some random hot guy asked me out. I didn’t say no but figured we could get to know each other first. LOL Later in the dream he showed up at a place I was at with my Bf. Awkward. LOL. Made me feel bad for not telling Andrew about the guy. Haha. But my BF was a bad boy in last night’s dream. He tried to kill a girl. I’m not sure why. So while we’re trying to hide evidence the girl he didn’t kill but basically mauled got up and came to the door of the nail salon she worked at. It was weird. Her BF showed up and didn’t want cops called so he helped us clean the place up and they went their way and we went ours. So strange.

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Looking for this bandaid! LOL.

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A joke?

My Bf knows I like feet. A small fetish of mine I guess. Don’t want to be stomped on or smell rancid feet but like the look of a great arch and love giving foot rubs. I do not remember ever telling his roommates that so I must conclude that he did. A little embarrassing for me. I don’t need everyone to know about that.

Come to find out it is a running joke with his roommates that one of the guys he lives with isn’t allowed by his GF to be barefoot in front of me. I guess I would attack him and rub his feet or something. The guy is cute and all but doesn’t talk to me and now I am wondering if this is the reason. I’m the creep who wants his feet. Lovely. What the fuck is all I can ask. I like my BF’s roommates but I think I will have to spend less time there. Don’t want them to have to see the creep. Being 46 and all of them being early 20’s sets that tone of creepiness from me I guess..

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Aging...

Getting older. Going around the sun one more time. I kind of dislike this part. A lot. I’m older. I’m uglier. But I’m in better shape now that any time in the past three years. I am dating a cool guy who loves me. I see people who are old to me. I see some are decrepit and can’t do shit for themselves. That scares me. I do not want to be that. Ever. I see some who are in decent shape and active. I also see some who have been smart with money and have a good retirement and others who didn’t prepare at all and are suffering for it. That will be me. LOL. Ugh. Fuck. I’m trying. But it may be to late for a good secure future. Blah. Fuck. I’m ranting. But fuck aging. Fuck getting old. Fuck.

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Strange mood

I chilled at the house, went to give the boyfriend a ride to his place and hangout for a few hours before dinner with friends who are like my family. All in all it was a good day. Still though I feel weird. Mood isn’t content and an uneasy feeling. Yes I work tomorrow but that’s normal and not a huge deal. Laundry is done and stuff is ready for work. Maybe just holiday blah and the bf was a bit needy and mopy today. We talked and I think we resolved it a bit. Dunno. I guess my depression just spiked a bit. Haven’t had much time to myself with out of town friends and the bf coming over as a much as possible. I’ll have to think about it. See what changes. Night world..

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Great night

Tonight I had some piano music playing on YouTube in the background. Drinking some red wine. The boyfriend was over. Wanting, wait, no.... graving attention. So I gave him some... a little oral, a little rimming and some good deep dicking in the living room. He seemed to enjoy it. The quiet little mouse was not at all quiet. But we won’t tell him. Every thrust brought noise. I quicken the pace and the mousy squeals quicken. A good, ney, a great night with my guy.

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A gift

Have you ever been given a gift and thought to yourself that you are not worthy of it. Tha you don’t deserve it?

That is what my boyfriend is to me. I’m not worthy. He is better than me and deserves better than me.

I am, however, grateful he chooses me.

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That guy

So my boyfriend called me out on my stupid shit. He was mad. He wanted an apology. He wants me to be 100% in.

I think he deserves someone better than me but he chooses me. I will be that man he wants.

Love him

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Lunch date

Today I was off work, had an A/C person come by for a cleaning and stuff(I will need a new system over winter for sure). Afterwards I had plans to see my guy and his roomies for lunch. I made ramen noodles from a pack but upgraded them. I added scrambled eggs for an egg drop soup touch, mushrooms, scallions, and some pork that I marinated after cooking. I made a mixture of teriyaki, honey and sirracha for a sweet and savory addition to the meat. Everyone seemed to like the concoction.

Afterwards Andrew and I retired to his bedroom for cuddle time. YAY...  which led to sexy time! haha, a shower after and then some true cuddles. He had to work so our time was limited. With a mere 10 or 12 minutes before he needs to leave he starts to suck on my dick... not smart.. I made him turn around and sit on face and I could rim him. that lasted a few minutes. Then I turned him  around and went to town. He wanted it and so did I. I had to make it a quick fuck but it worked out and we got him to work with one minute to spare! LOL. It was a good day for both of us.