I looked up at them with wide eyes. Darkness surrounded us. I could feel the warmth of their cheek on my forehead. I was at peace. A place I haven’t been in a long time. I had no idea what the feeling bubbling my chest was. Their whisper made me pause. Made me think.
I was talking about this girl who told me I was cute. I was going on about how I found it surprising when people found me attractive, because I felt like I was more bro than anything. I felt like I had too many flaws. Under their breath, in a tone that made me believe I wasn’t meant to hear, that they weren’t supposed to say it out loud. “You’re perfect.” My arms that wrapped around their body squeezed a bit tighter, my face going farther into their chest. I did my best to hold back tears. I mumbled a thanks and we continued in a comfortable silence. We had conversations here and there, and fell asleep calmly on my bed, cuddled together.
This was before. We new they were going to move in soon. They had been spending the night often. I first was going to clear of the extra bed, but they assured me they didn’t mind sharing a bed with me. So every night they stayed over, we cuddled. Finally, I ask the question. I ask them if they are crushing on anyone.
“No, not really.” I say the same. I’m scared to give myself away. I think they’re lying, but I just can’t tell. Then, they say, “Well, what do you mean by a crush?”
“Have you ever had a crush on someone?”
“Well, what about on your radar. Maybe you just think you’re developing feelings, but you just aren’t sure what they are yet.” They nodded. “So, you have someone on your radar?”
I push for about another hour. I remember how frustrating it was! They were dangling this information in front of my face and I could barely grasp it. I’m able to convince them to give me two guesses. My first one is our common friend, and they heavily refuse.
After a while of thinking and heavy anxiety weighing on my heart. I lay next to them on the bed, look up at them, since they are significantly taller than me and I lay on their arm. The light is still on, so we can easily see each other, but the door is closed so our housemate doesn’t see us, doesn’t care to hear us.
dailybridgerton
romaincrisis
gummygunk
origamiaround
vaporwave
