365: my days

a little progress each day adds up to BIG results

[my3652020]

Day 47: I listen to this

When you've been fighting for it all your life

You've been struggling to make things right

That's how a superhero learns to fly

Every day, every hour, turn the pain into power

[my3652020]

Day 47: What do i love about myself?

( yossi kotler art-acceptance, portrait )

In one phase of my life i was into big hole and was trying to commit suicide. I almost did it but hurriedly being saved unintentionally by someone. Later on i found it was depression. it's still come and go and no one know about my battle. So, to think about that..the answer is i love myself the most when I realize I have a strong believe for my self, trying my best to defeat my toxic thoughts and for survive long enough.

[my3652020]

Day 46: I listen to this

When your highs are low, keep the faith yeah

Cause you know that a life's never wasted

Standing tall, shaking off the dust

Now we know, now we know what we're made of

[my3652020]

Day 46: A part of nature you are thankful for

( Photo by Sergei Akulich on Unsplash )

Forest. Thanks for the oxygen supply.

Still need my reason? 🙂

[my3652020]

Day 45: I listen to this

She just wants to be beautiful

She goes unnoticed, she knows no limits

She craves attention, she praises an image

She prays to be sculpted by the sculptor

Oh, she don't see the light that's shining

Deeper than the eyes can find it, maybe we have made her blind

So she tries to cover up her pain and cut her woes away

Cause covergirls don't cry after their face is made

[my3652020]

Day 45: Something you learning this week

keep your cool, ignore all the bugging things in your life because when you just ignore it, your life has more clearly. i always got distracted from my goals because i’ve been attracted to the bugging things in my every day life. and kind of feeling little mad to the point it depressed me. it affect not just my life but my mental state and my body as well. and to get away with that while need to accomplish my goals just not good option. trust me.

so, this is the answer i’ve been searching for. the funny thing about this is i came to these conclusion while i was trying to shut all the noises in my head one night. dig up my pasts, all the good and bad days, step back and yeah in reality i just sit in my room in the middle of the night “talking” with my self.

not to ignore the pain when i’m hurting, it help a lots. sometimes to let go all the madness inside your head, you need to keep insane to became sane.

[my3652020]

Day 44: I listen to this

I won’t just conform No matter how you shake my core ‘Cause my roots they run deep,

[my3652020]

Day 44: An accomplishment i’m proud of

all the courses i’ve been taken and got certificate and the score and yeah.. proud of it. no need to say more. 😃

[my3652020]

Day 43: I listen to this

And honestly I was just about to pick up the phone

And then I realized that I didn't do nothing wrong

You would even tell two lies to prove that you were right

Usually I'd go on and take the blame but not this time, not this time

[my3652020]

Day 43: Is it more difficult for you to speak kindly or honesty?

it’s more difficult for me to speak kindly. i always honest all the time and sometimes when i got mad i just stating fact honesty but not in kindly way. if you befriends with me you know what mean.  😝

[my3652020]

Day 42: I listen to this

Where were you? When my world came crashing down?

Where were you? When I picked myself up off the ground?

[my3652020]

Day 42: How do you treat people who can do nothing for you?

That always seemed so ridiculous to me, that people want to be around me because i'm kind of person who always help her friends. It's feel like they just picking their breakfast cereals based on color instead of taste.

When i need them but they can do NOTHING for me, for a second - as a human - of course i mad. they can't help me when i need. Next thing, i help them with remove myself from their friend's list.

Because i can't stay around them without being used again. if i have this thought that someday they'll change and maybe can help me - would do for me as i do for them - i'll end up disappointed. That day never come. Some people will only love you as much as they can use you. Their loyalty ends where the benefit stop.

BUT i'm gonna treat them well - like stranger - if they want me to help them, i'll make excuses. OR maybe i'm more treat stranger well than i did to my friends. LOL

[my3652020]

Day 41: I listen to this

I was calling for the last time

we’d been here before

they found pictures in the snow

they found pictures in the snow 

i woke underneath the trees for the first time

[my3652020]

Day 41: What would you do if you knew you could not fail?

I would like to register for university and learn many things, apply on my favorite full-time job and so for side job (need to make money for live and get place to stay).

(Photo by  Designecologist from Pexels)

[my3652020]

Day 40: I listen to this

I know you're somewhere far away. The night when the blue star lights me up in the room. Lean on the window, wait for the clouds to wobble in the wind. When the full moon gets an eclipse in my submerged pupils.

[my3652020]

Day 40: How do you like to spend your Sunday? Describe it in detail.

A hot cup of chocolate and good book are on the top of my to do list!

How about you? How do you spend your Sunday?

[my3652020]

Day 39: I listen to this

I ask you about love, you'd probably quote me a sonnet But you've never looked at a woman and been totally vulnerable Known someone that could level you with her eyes Feeling like God put an angel on Earth just for you Who could rescue you from the depths of Hell And you wouldn't know what it's like to be her angel You don't know about real loss 'Cause that only occurs when you love something more than you love yourself And I doubt you've ever dared to love anybody that much