My Abstract Thoughts

Hello! I'm Jennifer. A new mommy to a wonderful lil boy (10/30)! This is my journey through motherhood, all sorts of word vomit, rants and random things. This is my world. PCOS. I breastfeed, babywear, sometimes cloth diaper.

[04k96]

[myabstractthoughtss]

Wow Tumblr world. I forgot you existed. Life is busy. Being a mom, working nights, summer break, pregnancy... I'm exhausted 😩.

This year has been a damn whirlwind.

Pregnant with my 3rd, what am I going to do with 3 children?!? Omg lol.

School is hard for my son, but he enjoys it, I think.

Work is just.. crazy as usual. Horrible management and now corporate is trying fix it and fire the bad ones.

My dad died unexpectedly. 😔 He was found.. not alive. And his brother in law and nephew found him. After a few days of not hearing from him. This hit me hard because over the years, I was really sad about the situation of having to block him out of my life. He just wasn't the father I knew when I was little. He grew angrier and angrier since I was 12-13 and completely changed. I just wish my son's had him as grandpa growing up, to teach them all the things he taught me. My older son would have loved to learn to fish and camp and enjoy the outdoors the way I grew up. His current grandpa is an obese, immature, annoying man who I barely tolerate. I only do because my mom married him. He talks all these fun things, but he can barely walk 10 steps and then sit. He eats my children's food if it's sitting on the table or if they offer it because toddlers.. he buys them stupid toys that just end up cluttering my house. He's always repeating himself and interrupts ppl while they're talking. Blah. And he's obsessed with posting pictures of us and my son's on his Facebook. It's almost gross. I'm really dreading my birth because my mom wants to be there (idk why she doesn't help) and I know he's going to post all over Facebook that I'm in labor. I just want a quiet, calm, labor without ppl bugging me. And I definitely don't want him posting before I do. I mean when my boyfriend announced he proposed to me, he was so into his phone he didn't notice. And then seconds after he found out he posted it and I had to tell him to delete it. When we announced the 3rd child, he posted that too AFTER I said NO social media. It's fucking annoying.

Potty learning with my 2.5 almost 3year old is absolutely crazy. Well, I mean, it's going well. Except 💩 he thinks if he goes outside he can just poop his pants? 🙄 toddler logic. But he's getting it🤞 hoping to get him in preschool soon.

Baby is due very close to my oldest's birthday. So that's fun 😄

We're planning a joint birthday party for my kids in between their birthday so I don't have to host a party at 39weeks pregnant.

Anyways. I'm excited for a tiny bean and to finish growing my family. I'm worried my toddler will be jealous, because he's mommy's boy. But oh well. We'll figure it out.

[myabstractthoughtss]

Why does my back feel like it's broken? Ugh. This is terrible.

[resqectable]

“Having a soft heart in a cruel world is courage, not weakness.”

— Katherine Henson

[saapasjalkakissa-tg]

Moraine Lake, Alberta, Canada

Photo: David Pearce

[catboy-on-main]

c!goodtimeswithscar stimboard for anon

with shiny things and water!

☀ ☀ ☀ ☀ ☀ ☀ ☀ ☀ . ☀

[myabstractthoughtss]

I miss being pregnant and the sweet newborn stage. I miss being home with my family and ignoring the whole outside world, pandemic, drama. I miss spending each night with my other half and enjoying some wine or a cold drink while holding tiny Elliot.

Why am I working in such short-staffed place with the most biased, worthless management ever? Why am I working in Healthcare during a crazy shitty pandemic? Why aren't I getting my pay raise? Why are my checks so low, ugh.

Ugh. I miss sleep. I miss feeling rested and having time to do thinks I enjoy, or even just time to clean up the house.

I want to travel. I want to get out of town.

[myabstractthoughtss]

Sweet baby boy was born!

Sept 14th at 11:17am. Weighing 9lbs, 13oz. And 19.75" in length. Born in the water at home! It was an amazing experience. Obviously very painful, but it was so nice to be home the entire time. I was able to birth in water, then get out and cuddle on the bed, provide skin to skin and breastfeed immediately. It was so nice.

[quiet-nymph]

Cuma Cevik on Instagram

[maureen2musings]

…

shwackem

[kissing-the-abyss]

Snapdragons at the crossroads.

[myabstractthoughtss]

Life Update June, 6th 2020.

Pregnancy

- I'm currently 26weeks 5days pregnant. Its rough, I'm always achy, acid reflux is awful.

- Appointments by myself suck. This pandemic needs to end.

- I failed my 1hr glucose screening. But have yet to get instructions for the 3hr fasting tolerance test.

- We might have found a name we like. I'm not set on it yet.

Work

- Work is terrible. I hate management, they're bullies. They are changing everything and not for the better. Its clear they only care about money and not about the residents.

- Someone reported me for bullying.. when I'm not a bully and only work with select few. So that hit me hard.

- Completely burnt out.

- I apparently have to attend a "mandatory meeting" on Thursday (When I have approved PTO and don't olan on being home.) They want me to video chat. So stupid.

House

- Still waiting on Insurance to send a check for repairs.

- I hate walking on subfloor.

- I hate that my child has to use our master bathroom, because I sleep during the day and it sucks having him and Andy coming in and out of the bathroom.

- Nursery is just about done, just have to put wall decals up. I want shelves but maybe eventually. We are being strict on spending.

- I wish I had more energy to keep up with the kid mess.

Life

- We got family vehicle, finally, so we can safely and comfortably fit two car seats. Unlike the Mustang lol.

- We have the whole week off next week. Yay.

- I want to go to the Olympic Peninsula and getaway, but weather is rainy and I don't know what is and isn't open because covid19.

- Both my boyfriend and I are dealing with immense stress and depression. And its so rough. But I'm hoping vacation or staycation will help.

Family drama

- Apparently my mom and husband decided, 3 days after us, to get themselves a new vehicle too. Which pissed me off because they (he) always tries to 1-up us. He's always bragging about something.

- My mom and her husband decided it was a great idea to come over, completely unannounced, at 7pm. My son's bedtime is 7pm. I was trying to sleep for work (I work 10pm to 6am, 5days a week!) It made my son go crazy and I couldn't sleep through the commotion or the anger.

- I haven't heard from my dad since April. I'm sort of worried. I actually miss him, despite the abuse I grew up with. It really upsets me thinking about it.

Life is hard.

[kissing-the-abyss]

Snapdragons at the crossroads.

[myabstractthoughtss]

Lost someone in my family from covid19. He fought hard for 10 days. Ugh.

[myabstractthoughtss]

I can't believe I'm 18 almost 19weeks pregnant. Where did time go??

[myabstractthoughtss]

Miscarriages suck. 3 is the worst age ever. My life is fucking awful currently. Sleep is rare. Blah.

[myabstractthoughtss]

Tumblr still exists? Wow.