run rabbit run

ℳya Richards, twenty-four: blackmarket runner & self-proclaimed goddess.

[myarichards-blog]

ashtonmaxwell.

“I’m sorry, sorry. I’ll make it up to you.” Ashton rushed out through his laughter as he removed himself from the hug, he couldn’t help the smile on his face as he looked down at her, the pride on his face evident. He couldn’t fully understand how hard it was for her but he could imagine. “I love you.”

“It’s okay,” she smiled as she noticed the pride on his facial features. A warmth spread inside. She had never gotten that look before and it meant so much more when it came from him. “I love you,” Mya echoed as she pushed herself up on her tiptoes and pressed a kiss to the corner of his lips. “Even if you’re a greasy mess. Beats blood anyway.”

[myarichards-blog]

ashtonmaxwell.

“You deserve it.” Ashton smiled, he really did love her and would do anything for her in a heartbeat, even if it was life threatening or ridiculous. If it was for her, he didn’t mind. He was ready to start heading to her apartment but stopped as he raised his eyebrows in waiting before a grin spread over his face and before he knew it he had wrapped her in a bear hug. “I am so, so proud of you.”

While Mya had always known that alcohol would never help her escape her demons, she had been okay with it because it was a pleasant break in the hurricane she was submerged into. But now? Now she had Ashton. She didn’t need anything else but him and Max. “Noooo,” she whined,” you got me all greasy!” Though she laughed, proud of herself and happy that he was proud of her too.

[myarichards-blog]

ashtonmaxwell.

“I’ll get a doctors outfit. It’ll be more clean.” Ashton chuckled slightly as he looked back at her, his eyebrows raised in amusement. Of course he thought that running over the infected was a bad idea but he didn’t really have it in him to be slightly annoyed. He laughed at the mental image before shaking his head, “Where is it?”

“You spoil me.” Mya mused aloud, a very happy smile tethered to her lips. Even after these months of happiness, she still didn’t understand what she had done to deserve him. It was too good to be true. “It’s outside my apartment but it can wait because guess what...” she beamed but tried to play cool, “I’ve been sober for a month.”

[myarichards-blog]

ashtonmaxwell.

“I could do that. The mechanic, grease monkey thing not doing it for you?” Ashton jokes as he looked down at himself mostly covered in oil and other vehicle fluids. “You were aiming for them? Oh…wow.” He shook his head, he didn’t know if he was surprised anymore or not. He chuckled lightly at the thought of her trying to get into a monster truck before nodding. “Of course, is there any other damage?”

“You’re always a total babe but I’m not sure I wanna be covered in grease too.” Mya’s lips twitched into a smile, looking him over as he did the same. Oil and who know what else all over. “They’re easier to kill if they’re slower.” She shrugged innocently. Her methods were a bit orthodox but they worked. “I don’t know? It’s a car... it works, just a bit hard to see through the cracks. I had to stick my head out like a dog on my way back.”

[myarichards-blog]

ashtonmaxwell.

Ashton let out a small huff of amusement as he turned around to face her before grinning in response to being deemed a fun ruiner. “I could, although I’m not dressing up in a cheerleader costume again.” He stated as he finished cleaning his hands. “You’re a terrible driver. You know cars aren’t made for running over bodies? How about I get you a monster truck, that’s what you need.”

“Sexy doctor?” She tried, hopeful smile tethered to her lips. A girl could dream after all. She laughed when he complimented her driving skills. Everyone seemed to have a problem with her driving but she just had too much on her mind to think about driving while driving. “I was trying to hit them this time!” She practically pleaded. “No, then I have to bring a stool every time to get into it. Will you just fix my car, pretty please?”

[myarichards-blog]

ashtonmaxwell.

Ashton craned his neck back as he reached for the wrench he’d set on his workbench in the small garage next to his house. Leaning down to inspect the motorcycle again, he made one final adjustment as he stood back up straight, cracking a few bones in his back as he did before letting out a sigh as he wiped the grease from his hands onto the nearest rag as he herd someone behind him. “I’m off duty, what is it?” He sighed as he wiped at his hands, not bothering to turn around.

She had attempted to sneak up on him but had evidently failed when he spoke. Her nose scrunched even if he couldn’t see it, a heavy sigh escaping her parted lips. Way to ruin her fun. “I just wanted to stare at your butt for a little bit.” Mya confessed jokingly, though with her there was truth to it. “But like always, my butt head, you ruin my fun. You should start thinking of a way to make it up to me.” She mused, leaning against the entrance wall. “Oh and I cracked my windshield running over uglies... again.”

[myarichards-blog]

( ashtonmaxwell. )

Ashton had a small smile on his face as he continued to walk but kept an eye out for any signs of movement, that was his job after all. “Agreed.” He laughed, a set of knives probably wouldn’t have been acceptable as a gift before the world went to shit but with just about everything having the capacity to kill you, they were a perfect gift. “Thank you, you do too.” He nodded slightly as he turned back to face her with a small smile on his face after a few moments. He did honestly believe that she deserved the best in everything and he could try to provide that, he knew in reality he couldn’t but trying was another thing. “I do have the best.” He stated quietly, looking at her for a few seconds before smiling to himself again as he turned back around.

“You’re very corny,” she teased when his murmur reached her. It was safe to say that he had a tendency to bring out the corniness in her too, so it wasn’t like Mya could judge. Truth was that since he had stepped into her life, it had gotten so much brighter. She didn’t need the fancy luxuries that her parents had offered, didn’t even need the alcohol... all she needed was him. Her gaze lowered to the flask in her hand and she watched it drop to the ground as she continued to walk. She had a couple of more flasks in her apartment, but that wasn’t the point, the point was that she had made up her mind; alcohol was no longer going to be her crutch. If even the slightest possibility that it could come between her and Ashton existed, then she’d choose him over it.

[myarichards-blog]

MYA RICHARDS MOODBOARD: Ashton Maxwell.

“if your demons were wildfires i would burn my hands to conquer them.”

[myarichards-blog]

( ashtonmaxwell. )

“I’m sure Max would love that, he’s probably asleep right now I had him out on a night shift with me. Plus he always misses you when you’re not near him for about five minutes.” Ashton nodded slightly, a small smile reaching his face before he looked at the ground for a few seconds. Kicking at a few twigs and other parts of stray wood as he eyed the flask unintentionally, he lifted his head as she stood up starting to walk through the rest of the woods. He didn’t even register one of his hands was hovering over the throwing knifes on his belt as he walked, instinct maybe. Scanning his brain for something to say, since silence didn’t seem like the best thing right now he glanced over at her as he lifted one of the knives. “These are the ones you got me for my birthday and they’re pretty amazing.”

“I’m glad he likes me,” she said softly, smiling at the thought of Max. She missed him too whenever she didn’t see him in a long time, even if he had a tendency to attempt to French kiss her. It was a good focus, him and Max. They made her happy, she felt like there was something worth living for in a world so far beyond saving. That had to count for something, didn’t it? She followed along, falling a couple of steps behind since the ground was spinning beneath her feet and well, because he was freakishly tall. Her brown eyes peered over at the knife he held up and she smiled again. It had been on a whim, she hadn’t known him very well back then, but she was so happy he liked them. “Nothing says I love you as a set of sharp knives,” she joked but really, what else was appropriate these days? “I’m glad you like them, love. You deserve nothing but the best.”

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( ashtonmaxwell. )

Ashton stared at the flask for a few seconds, he didn’t realise he was almost glaring at it. Alcohol didn’t do anyone any favours in the long term, short term it was great but eventually even that disappeared. His glare lifted as his eyes settled on her and his expression clearly softened as he nodded slightly, in thanks maybe or acknowledgement, even he wasn’t sure. Ash sighed a little as he listened, he wasn’t going to lie, there was times when he felt like because she always drank that he wasn’t being a good enough boyfriend. Relieved that it was cleared up he managed a slightly strained smile. “I love you too.” He replied, his hand reaching for the rifle as he got to his feet. “I have the rest of the perimeter to walk, you wanna come?”

Mya didn’t want to move, not really, but she knew that Ashton probably didn’t want her sitting around in the woods by herself so she nodded in response to his question. Still, she reached for the flask on the ground, not quite willing to let go of it yet. “I’ll come with, and then, ehm, go by mine and take a shower, and then take Max out for a walk maybe? We can wait for you to get off your shift together,” she was trying. It probably didn’t look that way but she figured that if she kept herself busy, if she focused on him and Max, then maybe, just maybe, she didn’t have to drink as much. She just needed to occupy herself, make a plan and follow it. With a sharp exhale, Mya stood up on shaky legs and gestured for him to lead the way.

[myarichards-blog]

( ashtonmaxwell. )

Yeah, he’d loved people but that was his parents it was completely different but in some ways similar to how he felt with Mya. He still didn’t understand how just being around someone could make him happy but he wasn’t complaining. He loved her and everything about her, there really was nothing he disliked and maybe that was being blinded by love but he didn’t care. Even the thought of her not being around or not seeing her smile, would in all simplicity, make his life utterly pointless. His world would be dull and grey and emotionless without her and he couldn’t go back to that because he knew if he did, he would be lost and the hardest thing he’s ever have to do was live without her. “My day off is tomorrow and if you wanna stay at mine, that would be great because I really wanna be there, right next to you when you wake up tomorrow morning.”

Her flask slipped between her thighs and landed on the ground with a thump. Ashton was right; it was nothing but poison. Problem was that she was now addicted to said poison, withdrawal symptoms haunting her if she didn’t drink. She wanted to change that but it scared her. She wanted to depend on him but she was afraid that he would realize what a burden she could be. It was all so messy but for now Mya was going to focus on only one thing; the love she had for him. She took a hefty breath, hands brushing over her damp cheeks again and nodded. “Of course,” she couldn’t think of another place she’d rather be than next to him. “Uhm, thank you... for listening... for being you. I love you, please don’t think I don’t because I can’t... can’t stop drinking.”

[myarichards-blog]

ashtonmaxwell:

Ashton blinked away the tears from his eyes, looking around as he tried to think of something to say. He ran a hand through his hair, his jaw still set and unmoving. “Don’t say that.” He pleaded, his voice shaky as he grimaced at the thought of her being bitten or killed, he couldn’t handle it. “Why.” He muttered to himself as he came up with an answer, a selfish one but it was something. “Because I love you and I…I need you. You’re the point. Without you, I’m- there’s no point, Mya. Nothing.” He admitted, shaking his head at how selfish he sounded. “I don’t care if it takes me years, I’m gonna do everything I can to help you get rid of those memories and find a point because you’re the only thing that matters to me.”

Mya had never loved anything for as long as she could remember. She had hated and disliked, but never loved. Not until Ashton had tore through the armor she had built around her heart. She loved him more than she could ever put to words. She loved to watch him, to hear him speak; she loved his hands, his face and his heart. Every part of him, the pretty and the bad. She would be there no matter what because he was it for her. Without a pause, without a doubt. He was it. She didn’t think it was unfair of him to ask, for him to be selfish. It was a good point, the best damn point she’d ever get. She wouldn’t want to live another day without him in her life and if he felt the same way, then she had no right to shatter him like it would shatter her. 

[myarichards-blog]

ashtonmaxwell:

Ashton watched her wipe at her tears and it hurt, yeah he’d seen her cry before but it wasn’t something he could or should get used to. He swallowed as he closed his eyes, his head lowered slightly and he was sure if he clenched his jaw any tighter he was going to break his teeth. Hearing her actually admit it out loud killed him, part of him didn’t want to hear it but he knew he had to. The thought of someone doing that to her was by far the worst thing in the world. Ashton finally looked at her, his eyes open and watery as he did, swallowing as he relaxed his fists he didn’t even register he was clenching. He didn’t know the answer, here he was trying to help and he couldn’t. “You gotta try.”

“Why?” She asked without thinking, gasping for air through the sob she was now fully engaged in. She hated feelings this way, she hated waking up every morning and for a split second believe she was still stuck in that basement. She hated having to scrub herself clean until her skin bled when it never helped, not even a little. Was she supposed to carry this with her for the rest of her life? What was the point? “What for? So I can get bitten? Ripped apart by a clicker? F-find you tortured and dead somewhere? What’s the point, Ash?”

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ashtonmaxwell:

“It’s also poison.” Ashton murmured, he wasn’t a drinker, not anymore and for good reasons. He was a completely different person with alcohol in his bloodstream and he wouldn’t wish that person on anyone. “Do you not think if t was going to work…it would have by now?” He asked quietly, eyeing the flask once more and taking a breath before he admitted the harsh truth. “I don’t know what will, everyone’s has different ways of getting rid of memories and sometimes you can’t. I can’t, I’ve tried everything I can think of but some things you can’t forget but that’s not you’re fault.”

Her hand rose to her face to furiously wipe away the tears that escaped her eyes. It was only the truth, every word of his, but it still stung. She wasn’t stupid but she was clinging to the hope that alcohol would help because if nothing did... she wasn’t sure she was able to live with it. “He raped me,” her voice was shaky as she admitted it. She had told people, sure, but she had never used that word, never even dared to think it. “I don’t feel this way, I don’t feel filthy and stained because I believe it’s my fault, it’s his... I feel this way because he raped me. Over and over again. If I’ll never be able to escape it, then what’s the point?”

[myarichards-blog]

ashtonmaxwell:

Ashton didn’t think he had helped, of course he wanted to but he didn’t know how he was. In his head all he did was let her see him in states that she shouldn’t have, no one should have to see him bloody and bruised then attempt to stitch him up, especially the person he loved. If anything that was a burden. He looked at the ground, his jaw tensing every few seconds steadily as he listened to her. Hearing her mention how that was her first thought once she awoke was like a punch in the gut, he didn’t know the extent of what she had been put through but the little he did angered, scared and made him sick simultaneously. “I don’t think drinking is gonna help.”

“Alcohol is... sterile and clean...” she mumbled under her breath. It didn’t have to make sense to him but it did to her. It was everything she was not. She drank because she hoped that it would erase all her memories, but she also drank because she felt dirty; stained and wished that alcohol would work. It wasn’t helping, Mya knew that, but what else could she do? “If it doesn’t, what will? It has to work, it has to.”

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ashtonmaxwell:

Taking a deep breath, Ashton kept a blank face as her voice raised and ran a hand down the side of his face, scratching at nothing as he looked around the silent forest. “You’re not a burden. You never have been and you never will be, alright?” He stated firmly, his eyebrows raised slightly as he stared at her again. All he wanted to do was help, if he could. Maybe it was stupid but he didn’t care. “Now that’s out of the way, can you let me help you Mya? Please?”

Mya almost wanted to laugh but she didn’t have it in her.  If only things were so easy that he could help. She didn’t even know how to escape the memories that haunted her and talking about them would only make him look at her differently. She couldn’t bear that thought. “You already have,” she whispered, head tilting down as she closed her eyes. “I wake up thinking that I’m stuck there, in that cage, on that table, but I’m not. I’m next to you... you’re already helping me, love. I just don’t know how to escape the rest.”

[myarichards-blog]

ashtonmaxwell:

Ashton glanced behind him at a tree stump, taking the assault rifle from its strap over his chest and placing it down on the ground before sitting on the stump across from her. “I can’t not worry about it.” He replied, equally as quietly as he sat forward his elbows on his knees as he kept his eyes on her, moving to the flask then her again with a slight frown. “You know I get that…I get that you drink to cope with everything and I don’t blame you but…why can’t you just talk to me about it? I want to help but I need you to tell me how.”

She sighed, running her fingers over her forehead and looked over at him when he sat down. It wasn’t that she didn’t understand, she worried about him too and nothing would ever change that. “Because...” she ran her shaking hands through her hair in frustration, “because I don’t want to be a burden!” Her voice got louder than she had anticipated but it was the truth. She didn’t want him to look at her like she was a broken toy he couldn’t get rid of. It was dumb and made no sense, but he had his own shit to deal with; shit that she’d happily help with if he needed her to, but that didn’t mean Mya thought it was fair that he’d take on her shit too.