[mycomfortstuff]

Hi :)

This blog is for any and all hyper-fixations/minor interest. Could be LITERALLY anything at any time, I am simply an og fangirl at heart :)

Minors pls do not interact! I am an ADULT and will be posting/reblogging adult content, you are NOT welcome in this space!

[mimi-maru]

[pinkyshrimpwrites]

Cold Water

Dungeon Crawler Carl x Reader

Rating: Smut

WC: 1.3k

Blurb: Carl jacks off to the thought of Reader (and feels guilty about it).

Carl was sure the water temperature was going to send him into a hypothermic state. The freezing shower stream was supposed to snap him out of this mindset, but it was doing nothing to calm him down.

She had been the cause of this. Carl had been attracted to her the moment she had stepped into his line of sight—and that attraction only grew as he got to know her.

She was sweet, kind, and intelligent. She remembered things about them, and went out of her way to make sure everyone was comfortable—he remembered a time she handed him some jerky because she knew he hadn't eaten. Any crawler would be lucky to have her in their party.

But most of all, she was fucking hot. And Carl hated himself for reducing her to her looks—this was not the kind of man he was. He prided himself as a man who protected women, who watched out for them. This was all so wrong. She deserved better than this, being sexualized by someone who was meant to protect her.

Carl leaned his head back into the shower stream and tried not to think about her face. Or her hair. Or the curve of her ass under her leggings. He really tried not to think about the time she had to undress in front of him, and he got a glimpse of her cleavage.

I'm a pervert.

The thing was, he was pretty sure he started liking her weeks before all of this insane primal attraction urge had started. But now, his brain had tangled all of this information and was incapable of separating her from just constant feelings of horniness. 

Think of Donut yacking on my pillow. His usual strategies to calm down his boner weren't working.

Carl knew this was wrong. He'd been thinking about how bad of an idea this attraction was. He was her leader, for fuck's sake—but his primal brain didn't give him a choice. The rewiring of his brain had made him more attuned to his carnal desires. It was like someone had cranked up a volume knob in his brain and snapped it off. 

He had to get off, and get off now. He reached his hand down but hesitated. One last pathetic attempt to talk himself out of this. He grabbed his cock. He ran a finger over his red, leaking tip, the sensitivity sending a shiver down his spine. 

So much for willpower.

Carl had found himself in the shower after his party had come back from a quest. They had run in panting and covered in gore, and when Carl saw her standing there, he forgot that they had just been fighting for their lives moments prior.

She had gore in her hair. Her chest was heaving, trying to catch a breath from the previous boss battle. Her back was against the wall, head tipped back, eyes closed. She was just trying to calm herself. She looked over at him and smiled. "I'm so glad we're back here. I'm safe."

That was enough to make him snap, and he had to excuse himself to take a shower. The image of her panting with her eyes closed was racing through his head.

It had been weeks of this torturous hell. 

She had become too much to be around. And the worst part was, he knew he was being an asshole to her. She didn't deserve this treatment—but how could Carl let her know that every time he looked at her, took in her soft, feminine form, he wanted to pin her down and fuck her. Taste her, make her cum under him.

Carl was 27 years old. He jacked off. And now that he had the reprieve of his own room, he got to do it once in a while while the cat wasn't around. Donut had made that stupid comment about him watching Hentai, but that was only fucking once. His thoughts were enough to keep him at bay.

He moved to change the freezing temperature to lukewarm. If the cold water wasn't going to calm him down, there was only one way to do it.

He groaned as he pumped himself. Carl looked down at his cock in one more attempt to dissuade himself. It felt hot and heavy in his hand. He was pretty hairless, and light brown hair sparsely covered his pubic region. He knew he was big—Bea wasn't his first girlfriend to both love and hate it. A couple of freckles ran up and down his length, and one big hand was enough to fully cover his girth. 

His forehead leaned against the cold shower tiles, one arm above his head as he started stroking himself. He liked a firm grip when he jacked off. His balls felt full, and he was ready to do something about it. 

He gritted his teeth and started moving. For a second, he was still in his own head—he was aware of the cold tile, the water, how pathetic it was jacking off in a cold shower to a woman 20 feet away from him. But then the bliss overtook him, and he stopped caring.

He thought of her soft, full lips, and how pretty they'd look wrapped around his cock. He thought about her hair, and ran his hand through it in his mind to guide her along his member. He thought about her small, manicured hands, and how they'd barely be able to wrap around him. He thought about how her eyes would tear up as she tried to take him all the way in her mouth, her gag reflex kicking in at his size and girth.

Carl's mouth fell open, releasing a concoction of sounds. He thought about how he would take his time eating her out, how pretty and pink her pussy must be. He would savor it. He'd savor anything if she ever consented to it.

Carl's moans and grunts became louder while the hand on his cock started to falter. The heat was pooling low and tight, his rhythm breaking apart. His palm was slick with his pre-cum, and he pressed his forehead deeper into the tile. "Fuck." The word came out broken. His balls tightened, and he came. Hard. His whole body shuddered with it, hips stuttering forward, a groan tearing out of his throat. 

His seed spilled over his fist, the spurts slowing down until he felt drained. He leaned back, letting the warm water run over him, sending his spend down the drain. He picked up the soap and started washing himself, until the shame of it all hit him at once. 

Carl stood there, soap in hand, and made the mistake of thinking of her, the real her—not the version his brain had produced. The woman who had dimples when she smiled. The one who Donut and Katia loved chatting with. The one who, when scared, looked to him for leadership. What kind of pervert was he to come just at the thought of her?

Regardless, he wouldn't be able to run away from this problem for long. His mind had hyperfixated on her. He was going to have to fix this, and fast. He had no idea what he was going to do other than just keep being a freak.

The options, as he saw them, were all terrible. He could say something to her, but that made his stomach turn. Hey, sorry I've been a dick to you—I can't stop thinking about you naked. Great. Perfect. Very mature and normal of you, Carl. 

He could keep distancing himself, keep being cold and short with her, until she stopped trying to be friends with him. But the thought of continuing to do wrong by her was not pleasant. 

He could do fuck all, and wait for this to blow over. 

He turned the shower off, and stood for a moment in there dripping on the tile. He thought of facing her after this shower. Thought about how she was probably just sitting on the couch, laughing about something with Donut.

Moments like these made him wish he could smoke a cigarette again.

He had no idea what he was going to do. He reached for a towel to dry himself off, and bury his shame to deal with another day.

[hullabaloons]

beautiful (an old iPod filled with love songs) -- dcc carl x reader

you and carl share a sentimental moment in the personal space, and the tension between the two of you finally finds release.

pairing: carl x fem reader (no use of Y/N)

rating: 18+!! very smutty but also romantic :)

word count: 3.3k

authors note: (LENGTHY, but please read!!!) hi everyone. it is time for me to perform my civic duty and post this. i've been a fanfic reader for a very, very long time. this is my first time posting anything, so pls be gentle. i've proofread a bunch, but i apologize for any errors!! i wrote this after finishing book 3, but i've now finished book 5 so no spoilers pls! this takes place after chapter 25 of book 3, so contains spoilers up to that point. also, music inspires me a lot when it comes to writing. there are a few songs mentioned in this fic that inspired the plot. i'll include a playlist here for your listening convenience (not necessary, but there if you'd like to listen). i appreciate you all and enjoy!!

A few hours and a hot shower later, you still couldn’t stop the shaking. It had mostly calmed down, but your hands still quaked at your sides. You had scrubbed your body in the shower for what felt like hours, but your legs still felt like they were covered in viscera. The smell of the ghoul guts, Hekla’s body being splattered against the wall of the train car—it would never leave your mind.

You clutched your old iPod Classic in your hands, the headphones spilling out the top and down your blanketed legs. Sitting on the edge of the bed, you studied the piece of old technology. Those last moments at home on Earth, you sat sleepily on your apartment’s tiny fire escape, music from the device softly playing in your ears. You don’t know why you clung so hard to the damn thing—especially when you already had phones, streaming, technology. It felt concrete. Real. Something that couldn’t be taken away. The last tie to your life you would never see again. On the west coast, even the midnights were warm. You spent night after night on that tiny platform, shuffling through thousands of songs and people-watching on the street below.

The iPod was the only thing other than the clothes on your back to come with you through the dungeon. When the collapse happened, you had just decided to leave your apartment  and take a small walk around the block. You couldn’t sleep. Even in the middle of January, you shuffled outside with your iPod and a jacket thrown over your shoulders. 

At the first moment of rest in a dungeon safe room, you turned on the device. Amidst all the chaos, thousands of your songs had disappeared, leaving only 50 or so. It still worked, but you knew it would die soon. With no way to charge it, you cherished the few moments you allowed yourself to listen to music. You listened less and less after meeting Carl, Donut, and Katia on the second floor. They began to feel like family, filling that gaping hole you used music to always fill.

Tonight was different. Katia almost died on the front of that train. You almost died, Hekla did die. Something in the air shifted. Everything felt so real now. Anyone’s lives could be ended at any moment. Donut, Katia. Carl. The idea of Carl dying or being gravely injured sent a sharp pang of hurt through your chest.

 You looked at the battery bar in the top corner of the iPod. 23%. You were about to hit play when a soft knock pulled your attention upwards.

”Hey.” Carl.

”Hey.” You said. He had a concerned look on his face.

”Are you alright?” You were almost taken aback by his question. It was a rare moment of gentle concern.

”I, uh, I think so. I’m still shaken up, but at least I’m clean. And at least I’m not Katia.” He let out a soft chuckle.

”She’s alright. Her and Donut are asleep on the couch. They need rest before we leave for the end of the line later.”

”That’s good to hear,” You said. On instinct, you pushed the still-damp hair out of your face, revealing the iPod in your hand. His gaze immediately caught it.

“Wow! Is that an old iPod? I haven’t seen one of those in years!” His face lit up as he pointed to the device in your hand. You nodded, an excited smile growing on your face. He joined you at the bedside.

“Can I?” He asked sheepishly. You nodded again, handing the device over to him. Without thinking, you just knew innately that he would be gentle with it.

“It was on me when the dungeon opened. A lot of music was lost. I have no way of charging it, so I only listen when I really feel like I need to. It was my favorite thing to do on Earth.” This interaction with Carl was the most you had opened up to anyone since entering the dungeon. You had become close with Katia, but still hadn’t reached that level yet.

For some reason you didn’t quite understand, it felt right. 

His presence was a warm balm at your side. This was the closest you had ever been to each other, besides an occasional brush in combat. He looked down at the iPod and you watched as he scrolled through some of the few remaining songs.

Milk — Sweet Trip

Pink Moon — Nick Drake

Kinky Love — Pale Saints

Katie’s Rhodes — Sam Evian

”That last one, that was the last song I listened to on Earth.” You pointed to the screen. “He, uh, he talks about a long highway. About how he would drive all night just to be with this person, and how that highway became like second nature to him.” A pause, the air thick with tension. Carl looked from the iPod to your hands, then up to your eyes. Your hands had stopped shaking. “It’s a beautiful song.” His eyes returned back down to the iPod in his lap. It looked minuscule in his large hands.

”I don’t think I’ve ever heard of any of these songs. I wasn’t really into music all that much back on Earth.” He kept scrolling. There were only 48 songs left, out of the thousands you had before the collapse. You watched as Carl scrolled by some of your favorite songs and artists.

”Listen to some with me.” You spoke, the words spilling out much faster than you could control. You fished up the headphones and handed him an earbud. “Pick something, Carl.”

“Are you sure? You said it’s gonna die soon. Don’t you wanna save it?”

Just go for it.

”There’s no one else I’d rather share it with. Besides, we had a bit of a rough day.” Your cheeks pinked. A smile ghosted the corners of his lips, like maybe he was thinking the same thing. He pressed play on the shuffle button. Tonight by Richard Hawley began to play in our ears.

“One of my favorites,” you laughed out, “I wish the rest of the album made it through. So, so beautiful.” The low timbre of his voice filled the space as he sang about his own regrets. Your cheeks grew red again. The look in Carl’s eyes changed, almost undetectable. 

You had eyes for Carl the moment you two met on the second floor. He was more gorgeous than any man you had ever dated back on Earth. Scary, too, at the first meeting. The more you got to know him, the more he revealed a kind and caring side. Seeing him care for Donut made you feel warm and homey, almost like you could see the three of you as a unit. If you ever made it out of here. If out of here even existed.

Carl was so smooth and easy to talk to with everyone in the party. With you, he stumbled over words, almost like he was nervous. There was no way he was into you like you were into him—right?

“Like you.” The words were soft, simple, and a punch to the gut.

“I—what?”

“You’re beautiful. Like this song.”

Something shifted in the air, electric and intangible. Even sitting side by side on the bed, Carl hovered over you, staring down through heated eyes. The confession of attraction sat heavy in the room. The song ended, and a new one took its place.

Know Who You Are at Every Age — Cocteau Twins

Hearing the undeniably sexy song, the hair on the back of your neck rose. You wanted to kiss him. He was looking at you like he wanted to devour you whole—mind and body. It was then you noticed, looking past him—Carl had put up an invisible shield on the doorway to this room in the personal space. The view outside was blurred and warped, no doubt it was the same way looking in. No one could see what was about to happen in this room.

Time slowed, the croon of Elizabeth Fraser’s unintelligible language filling both your ears. The song and the hungry look in his eyes were both so enrapturing, you barely noticed his hand moving, inching slowly to your waist. Was he really about to—?

You were about to speak when, almost in a flash, Carl rushed his mouth to meet yours. Weeks of tension slipped out of you, your shoulders relaxing as you melted into him. Tension, not just from the dungeon, but from this unspoken connection that had formed between you two. His firm hands held you in place, one on your hip and the other gripping the side of your face. The kiss intensified as you met his energy with your own. His mouth trailed down your neck, leaving hot kisses in a line to your collarbone. The iPod sat abandoned in your lap, your hands running through his hair. A moan escaped your lips. The music continued on, intensifying the heat waves coursing through you.

“Carl, I–” He pulled his mouth off of your skin almost immediately, his abrupt absence leaving you craving more.

“I’m sorry, I—I, uh, is this okay? I just, just couldn’t help myself,” he trailed off, staring at the glistening space on your neck. Words wouldn’t form—you just nodded with a drunk smile.

“You’re the only thing I can ever think about in this fucking place,” he spoke, craning his face back into your neck. “I can’t focus, not like I used to. You drive me insane.”

Every word he spoke added to the heat growing in your core. You felt suddenly overwhelmed to completely pounce on this man.

“I need you safe. And I need you mine.” With the added emphasis on that last word, you pulled the headphones out of your ears, turned the iPod off, and repositioned yourself to push Carl back onto the bed. You were overcome with a sudden confidence. He watched you with those same hungry eyes from before as you straddled his lap. Any and all hesitation flew out the window as you crashed your mouth onto his, pushing you both down onto the bed. His hands held you steady, his fingers pulling up your shirt. His touch felt electric. Weeks of fighting alongside each other, the uncertainty of our future in the dungeon, it all came out here, in the hot kisses and warm touches. You pulled your shirt over your head, exposing a skin-colored bandeau bra that held you together all these weeks. The one you came into the dungeon wearing.

Your future was uncertain, and dammit if you weren’t going to get laid before inevitable death. Carl was gorgeous, kind, intelligent, and a badass in battle. There was no one else.

“So beautiful,” Carl murmured. You sat atop him, removing your bra.

“You think so?” You asked, with that same lazy smile. Another touch from him, and you weren’t sure you could handle it. He nodded at you, reaching up to touch your now bare breasts. 

“I’ve never been more sure of anything. You’re stunning.” You moaned under his touch, his hands warm. If Katia and Donut were now awake outside the room, you hoped they couldn’t hear through the shield.

Carl pulled you down to him for another kiss. You could feel his hard dick through those damn heart-covered boxers. Fuck. He was big. Of course he would be—he was a monster of a man in size. Between kisses, you made yourselves mostly clothes-less, with the exception of just underwear slowly grinding on each other. Carl looked at you like you were a queen, sitting on your throne, but he took the moment of vulnerability to flip you around, situating you under him.

“Mmm, Carl. Please—” You squeaked out. One hand held him over you as the other trailed down in between your legs. His hand, both firm and soft at the same time, cupped your hot core over your underwear. Without even touching your clit, he was already pushing you to the edge.

“You’re so soaked, honey.” His nickname for you felt like warm honey in your ears. He lazily drew circles with his two middle fingers, collecting the wetness on the tips of his fingers. You were squirming, eager for more friction. Carl shifted, kissing down your chest. He took his time worshipping each of your breasts. He licked and sucked, leaving pebbled nipples in his wake. He kissed down and down, licking his fingers clean of the wetness you left behind. You might just explode with pleasure if he was about to do what you were thinking. Using the same fingers, he hooked onto your underwear and pulled it down, wasting no time in attaching his mouth to your swollen clit.

Your head ricocheted back, hitting the soft mattress as you let out a squeal that was part scream, part curse, and part Carl. Even before entering the dungeon, it had been a while since you had gotten any action. The built up tension, including your crush on Carl, would not have you lasting long at all. He lapped at your clit, kissing and sucking the absolute soul out of you. Your hands found his hair, trying to push him away.

“Mm, Carl! You can’t—I’ll, I’m gon—” He paused only for a moment. He looked up at you with a devious grin that said I have no intention of stopping at just one orgasm tonight. He continued his play, pushing a finger—then two—inside you. Time ceased to exist completely, it was just you two and forever inside the personal space. In and out, you could feel yourself making a mess of the bed. You whimpered under him as he made some of the most obscene noises you’d ever heard. He was clearly enjoying himself too.

With a curl of his fingers, your first orgasm exploded out of you. Stars danced across your vision, and you clenched your legs close together, locking Carl in a chokehold. No sexual encounter on Earth ever compared to this. A kind and sexy man was giving you an orgasm before even taking his dick out of his pants. Your eyes were shut tight, your breath ragged. As you came down from your high, you opened your eyes to find Carl standing at the foot of the bed, naked and fully erect. He had licked you clean, and was now licking clean the fingers that had just been inside you.

“You taste amazing,” he said, his voice low with lust. “Come here.” Your legs felt like jelly, but you complied, scooting yourself down to the edge of the bed. His other hand had wrapped around his cock, slowly pumping at the sight of you. An idea popped into your mind, suddenly granting you enough energy to scoot off the bed completely, landing on your knees in front of him. He wanted nothing more than to fuck you into oblivion, but you wanted some fun too.

“Let me, please.” You spoke softly, looking up at his hulking form. You placed a hand on his inner thigh, close to his ass. Your other hand wrapped around his dick, causing a soft moan to escape from his lips. Despite the recent orgasm, wetness grew again. His hand dropped from his dick. Both of his hands reached for your hair in a gentle guide. You took Carl’s large cock into your mouth, both of you moaning in pleasure.

“Oh, fuck,” He groaned. A shiver ran down your arms at his gravelly voice. It was similar to the voice he used when he was pissed off or needed to take control of a situation in the dungeon. You wanted him to demand control—to be rough. His moans and whimpers were music to your ears as you bobbed up and down on him. It had been a long time since you ever went down on anyone, but Carl seemed to be greatly enjoying it nonetheless. The noises coming from both of you were obscene. You silently hoped that the invisible shield was soundproof too.

Carl pulled you away from his cock, a string of saliva connecting your mouth to him. He was breathing heavily, like he was nearing his own orgasm from just your mouth. As quick as the blink of an eye, he grabbed you and tossed you back onto the edge of the bed. 

“I need you so bad, baby. Let me have you.” Despite not even having been fucked yet, you were in a sexed-out daze—too horny to respond with anything but a slight nod.

Pregnancy was at no risk in the dungeon, so when he thrust his naked cock into you with no protection, you didn’t care. He fucked you hard and fast, the pent up sexual tension between the two of you finally finding release. This is what you had fallen asleep thinking about, even using just your own hand and the thought of Carl to provide your own release on a few occasions. It was real, and it felt amazing. 

Your joint moans filled the room. The bed shook as the pressure in your core rose. You were nearing your second orgasm, and it seemed like Carl was too. His warm torso met yours, meeting you for another messy kiss. One of his hands was bunched in your hair and the mattress, while the other held your waist steady as he rammed into you. 

Something in the back of your mind told you this night was far from over. Your future was uncertain, and you all rarely got any sleep anyways. A night like this sounded amazing.

“Fuck, ah–” you whined through the kiss.

“You got it baby, you’re– you're perfect.” Carl groaned through ragged breath. “You’re taking me so well.” As if his voice wasn’t deep and sexy enough, the rumble sent you over the edge. You came undone for a second time, this time around his pulsating cock, still thrusting in and out. His pace quickened as you writhed below him, riding out the high. His release came a few moments later. Carl groaned your name as his movement stopped abruptly. He finished inside you, hot and wanting. The two of you laid on the bed side-by-side, reeling from the intense rush of what just happened. 

What did just happen? You were only ever granted short moments of respite in the dungeon, and you just fucked the guy you’ve been fighting alongside for weeks now. The room filled with the smell of sex and your heavy breathing. Carl turned to look at you.

“I meant what I said.” He pressed a kiss to your bare shoulder. You rotated on your side to face him. “You’re beautiful, perfect. Ever since we met, I… I just can’t imagine being here in this fucked-up place without you.”

It was probably the nicest sentiment you’d received by any man. Something about the way he met your gaze as you spoke, ran soft fingers up and down your side, you felt utterly safe and content. Like you two could tell the dungeon to fuck off and stay here in this personal space for the rest of time.

“I feel the same way,” you were almost speechless. Still reeling from two back-to-back orgasms, Carl pulled you in for a tight hug. “I almost wish we weren’t here, like we could have met on Earth and not have to worry about possibly being killed every single day.”

“I’m just glad I met you. Wherever it may have been.” Your heart swelled. It just felt right. You leaned into the hug, wrapping your legs around his and burrowing into his chest. But before you could get comfortable, Carl used his arms to careen you back onto your back with a yelp. He planted kisses on your neck.

“I never said I was done with you.”

[heyitanna0319]

bum a smoke?

he walked over to your table not even realizing he was doing it. all he could think about was getting his lips around that cigarette you were smoking. 

pairing: carl x f!reader (no use of y/n. never.)

wc: 2188

author’s note: i sat down and wrote this in literally one sitting. hope you enjoy!

When Carl entered the Desperado Club on the third floor for the first time he met the pharmacist, Quint. He promised himself to never try a Blitz Stick no matter how desperate he might get for a smoke. He wasn’t interested in getting addicted to a drug that resembled cocaine or some other highly addictive drug.

But Carl missed cigarettes. God did he miss cigarettes. He missed everything about them. The smell, the taste, the way they lingered on all of his clothing. Bea hated the things, told him to quit smoking them, but he never did. He didn’t care enough about what she thought about his bad habit. To ease her nagging, he would smoke them outside when she was home, or on the occasional times she wasn’t home, he lit up in the living room while playing the game.

Holy shit he missed cigarettes.

So when Carl entered the Desperado club for the umpteenth time on the fourth floor and smelled cigarette smoke for the first time since the last time he smoked he almost thought the AI was playing a trick on him. There was no way the dungeon AI made up someone or something that smoked cigarettes. The only possible way he was smelling a cigarette was that another crawler still had a pack from the surface.

He turned to a booth in the far end of the club and saw you sitting alone, sure enough, smoking a cigarette. He was at the table before he even realized.

He didn’t even know what he was going to ask you. He had this instinctual need to just be near the smell of it. Of you. And he thought he was over the addiction. How wrong he had been. 

Before he even thinks he’s asking, “Hey, can I sit?” a guff voice asks you.

You look up to see Carl. The Carl. Like blow-shit-up and run Carl. Carl with the talking-fucking-cat. 6th place on the leaderboard Carl. You almost dropped the cigarette you were smoking from shock. 

“Uh, um, yeah. Of course. Please, sit.” you hold your hand out and gesture to the seat across from yourself in the booth. 

He sits down immediately and just stares at your face. No, not your face, your mouth. You feel the pink creep into your cheeks. 

Carl is a handsome man. The first time he popped up on a recap episode you thought he was attractive, and then he kept showing up. Recap episode after recap episode and your crush grew more and more every time he was featured. You couldn’t help it. The deep and gravely voice, the sleeveless jacket that showed off his very muscular arms, the whole no pants thing, and the constant underlying anger that he harbored for everyone and everything. You couldn’t lie to yourself. It was hot. It was very hot. 

But, he was with this new Katia woman. She showed up in his and Princess Donut’s party this floor and you had assumed that she and him were seeing each other. It isn’t uncommon for crawlers to start seeing each other, it wasn’t like living in a dungeon could stop attraction between people. Just seeing a buglike creature and a person completely covered in vines making out in the corners of the Desperado wasn’t really what you wanted to witness after dealing with an insane subway system and demon monkeys, but you live in a literal dungeon now so you can’t be that surprised.

Carl’s voice pulls you out of your thoughts, “any way I could bum a smoke?” 

So that was why he was staring at my mouth, you think to yourself. You reach across the table and hand him the cigarette you were smoking. He’s hot, but not hot enough to give him an entire cigarette.

Before the world literally ended you were sitting on a bench at a scenic overlook in Minnesota, you had just opened a brand new pack, hadn't even taken a cig out when everything crashed down around you. Thankfully there was an entrance about 50 feet up the road from where you were and you entered with only the clothes on your back and a brand new pack of cigs. You were the most thankful for the smokes as you had already replaced all your original clothes with items you’d gotten from prize boxes. The AI really liked to give you clothes for some reason. 

Carl took the cigarette from your fingers and put it to his mouth. Oh my god I just indirectly kissed the 6th best crawler in the entire dungeon. You giggled to yourself.

“What’s so funny?” he asked you.

You froze, looked around quickly, and thankfully saw two crawlers on the verge of a fight over a blitz stick, you pointed to them and Carl looked over his left shoulder. “Those guys are literally fighting over a blitz stick and I'm sitting here with the number 6 crawler in the dungeon and he’s asking to bum a smoke off of me. I’m laughing at the complete irony of it.”

“The shit some of these guys would do for a blitz stick is beyond me” he mutters to himself.

“Yeah, like you don’t hit a blitz every once and while. I saw how fast you came over here for one of my smokes.” you sarcastically respond. There is no way this man doesn’t smoke blitz sticks. You even smoke one from time to time, too scared to think about the time when you run out of your cigarettes. 

The blitz stick was nice. It was almost too nice. The damn thing's ability to show you a non-existent memory of what your life would be like if the dungeon was never made, it was horrifying. You tried your best to not go near them, but the thought of running out of your cigarettes made the pull to smoke them even stronger. 

Carl looked you dead in the eyes. “Never. Not once. I will not go near them. I’ve seen what they can do to people and I will not let a damn drug break me.” He got real quiet after that. You weren’t expecting that from him. 

Obviously you knew that he was a serious man, anyone could see that just by looking at him, even if he did wear a pair of heart boxers (you thought they were cute). You put your hands up in a surrendering motion, “okay, sorry for assuming, man.” You put your hand out to ask for the cigarette back, he had had it for a while and you could see the paper around it start to dwindle, you needed a drag before he smoked the whole thing. You only had 12 left after finishing this one off. 

He had the cigarette pinched between his pointer and middle finger and when he reached across the table to hand it back to you, you reached in to pinch it with your thumb and pointer finger and your palm and two fingers were completely flush against his hand. His very large hand. You figured he was tall from the recap episodes. Even when he came over to your booth you could tell that he was a large man, but you didn’t realize how tall he was until your hand was basically wrapped around his two fingers holding the cigarette. 

You looked up from where your two hands were basically connected to his face, he was already staring at you. You quickly snatched your hand away from him, as he simultaneously took his back, leaving the cigarette with nowhere to go other than to fall to the table. Directly into the gin and tonic you were drinking.

“Fuck” you said now looking down at the cigarette floating in your drink. There was no way it could be dried and now your drink was ruined too. You slowly looked up at him and gave him a taste of his own medicine. “God damnit, Carl.”

He burst out laughing. It was hearty and loud and way too weird of a reaction for what just transpired between you two. You just stared at him as he continued to laugh. It was contagious. You could feel your laugh bubbling out of your mouth, you started to smile and then it burst out of you. You couldn’t hold it in and it just made Carl laugh harder. Your side of the laughing fit ended when you snorted and immediately covered your face with your hands in embarrassment. 

You always hated that small thing about your laugh, as your grandmother used to tell you, “stop with that horrible snort of yours. It is so unbecoming” and of course that only made you laugh and snort harder because who the fuck says “unbecoming.” After Carl’s loud laughter ended, you took your hands away from your face to find him staring directly at you. He was more relaxed now, he was leaning backwards against the back of the booth with his arms crossed and just smiling at you.

“What?” you questioned. 

“Nothing,” he said looking down, “that was just funny, giving me my line right back to me. I wasn’t expecting it. Donut would think you are hilarious.”

“I thought it was very fitting for the moment considering you dropped one of my cigarettes into my drink, which by the way, you now owe me. For both the cig and the drink.” You continue after taking a short pause to compose yourself from the laughter and continue, “I don’t really know how I would ever meet her, or your girlfriend, but if I ever get the chance to meet Donut I would hope she thinks I am funny so she doesn’t light me up with one of her damn magic missiles. Those things are crazy strong.”

“Let me buy you another drink to make up for…wait-” he pauses in the middle of his sentence, “what girlfriend? I don’t have a girlfriend. Is Donut talking to people in the message boards telling people I’m seeing someone? Because I’m very much not.” 

Your eyes widen in embarrassment, “oh, no, she’s not saying anything. I just assumed that you were seeing the woman you and Donut teamed up with, Katia, I'm pretty sure her name is. You guys look super close on the recap episodes so I thought you and her were together.” 

Carl looks at you as if he can peer into your soul, wait, can he do that? I don’t know what his abilities are. Fuck, oh my god, does he have x-ray vision or even a lie decticing ability. Oh my god he has a combo x-ray-lie-detecting ability. He can see right through me. I wouldn’t even be surprised if he did. FUCK, I’m so fucked. 

Continuing to freak out over this man’s possible x-ray vision/lie detecting ability he starts speaking, “No, Katia and I are not together in that way, Hekla asked that she join Donut and my’s party to help her train her skills and abilities up. I see her as an older sister, she is my family.” You go wide-eyed and start to look around the room, not wanting to make eye contact in case he can read your mind. He asks if you’re okay realizing you are actively trying to not look at him.

“Uhh, yeah, just want to make sure you don’t have x-ray vision or you have like a lie detecting ability or like you can’t read my mind or anything.” You bumble out the words.

He looks at you confused. “Um. What? Where did that even come from? Also, lie detector? Who said anyone was lying?”

You laugh to yourself. “No, I’m just kidding. It was just the way you were looking at me. It felt like you could literally see into my soul.”

He just looks at you for a second. As if you had just offered him your heart on a plate. It was awkward and intimate and unsettling and almost nice to be looked at so intimately. It truly felt like he could see into your soul. He stood up from his side of the booth. You thought he was walking away from you and the conversation, you were up out of your seat before he could take another step and you grabbed his hand. “Wait! Look, Carl, I’m sorry if I made it awkward. I really didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable.” You weren’t ready for this conversation to be over and you felt like you had ruined this very odd night in the corner of the Desperado Club. He looked down to where your hands were grabbing one of his. 

When he finally spoke, he asked with a smile on his face, “can I buy you that replacement drink?”

[mycomfortstuff]

DCC X READ FANFIC IS HERE AND ITS SO FUCKING GOOD GUYS

[birdygirletc]

A breath of fresh smoke

Carl finds you sitting in a dark corner of the Desperado Club holding something he's been craving for a very long time.

Pairing: Carl x fem reader

WC: 2.2k

Rating: 18+

A/n: My first fic, be kind cruel world. I have been a consumer of fanfic for years now, but never brave enough to post my own. Sorry if it sucks or makes no sense, the Carl x reader universe is just so Bare and I wanted to try to contribute for those who are obsessed with him (Me). I am trying really hard to not cringe out and delete this by reminding myself that this is just tumblr and who cares if my writing is ass. Anyways, enjoy Carl being a freak in the Desperado club.

Some might say its hard to find a moment of peace in the dungeon, but if you're on the verge of dying everyday, its important to find small escapes. One escape you have found, is rewarding yourself with a routine weekend visit to the Desperado club for the strongest drink you can order and a cherished cigarette.

You tend to keep the same routine. After entering, you approach the bar, grab your drink, then sit in a booth deep in the corner to smoke in peace.

The moment the smoke hits your lungs and you close your eyes, you get put into memories of when you'd spend the weekend at some musty dive bar with your friends. During those times, nothing could beat ordering a cold beer, having your legs stick to some pleather lysoled bench, and taking a smoke break halfway through the night, right before you had one too many drinks. You used to say that the smell of cigarettes reminded you of home. Now it just reminds you of the dungeon.

After taking a few drags with your head back on the bench and eyes closed, you come back to reality and spend the rest of the night people watching. People watching in this place is more fun than it ever had been on Earth, but you guess thats just what happens when humans are given the opportunity to change into things like 6 foot tall tigers that can talk.

The club is busier than usual tonight and with your eyes on the crowd dancing in the middle of the room, you notice a large cretin with a puffball on his shoulder maneuvering through the mass. You easily recognize Princess Donut, she's hard to miss with her tiara and consistence presence on the recap episodes. She's pointing at the stairs and speaking animatedly in the cretins face. You watch as he lightly shrugs and begins to ascend, taking the missile shooting cat to the second floor male strip club, the Penis Palace.

You lightly chuckle to yourself and bring your attention back to the main area with a long drag of your cigarette. With Donut here and on her way to enjoy the rest of the night, you can only assume her Royal Bodyguard is somewhere to keep watch. You catch sight of the white boxers dotted with red hearts in the crowd that the cretin had just traversed. Carl manages to emerge from the crowd a few feet in front of you with a confused look on his face. His head moves side to side like he's searching for Donut and then his eyes find you. With the cigarette dangling from your lips and drink in hand, you track him as he approaches like he's on a mission.

"Where'd you get that?" He stops next to the table, right across from where you're sitting, and points at your mouth.

You take the cigarette out of your mouth and knock the filter with the end of your thumb, ash falls directly onto the tabletop.

"Get what?" You say with a grin.

You've smoked half of it now.

"The cigarette. I ran out all the way on the first floor and haven't found a trace of them since." He sits down in the chair across from you. "I'm Carl, by the way."

You haven't had the opportunity to speak to Carl in person before, or his infamous cat friend, but you know him well enough. Usually you see him on the glow of a TV, but up close in this dim lighting feels oddly intimate. The lights coming from the dance floor are softer in the corner booth, they illuminate the short messy brown hair on his head and give him a glow around the edges. You try not to take too much notice on the way the lights highlight the top of his muscles and shade right underneath them, the dungeon can do extraordinary things to a persons body.

"I just happened to be in the right place at the right time, I suppose," You explain and hand over the remaining bit of cigarette so he can finish it off. "The dungeon opened up while I was sitting on a gas station curb. It was just me and the attendant nearby and he ran off the second he could. I figured if I was going to go down, I should probably take some stock from the store at least. Good thing I did, no one down here sells these things."

"You might just be the luckiest son of a bitch alive." Carl huffs with a laugh and you watch as a trail of smoke leaves his lips.

"Lucky in the sense that I have hundreds of cigarettes in my safe room, or the fact that one brought a man to my table?" You make eye contact with him as the corner of his mouth ticks up.

"Bold assumption I only came over here for the cigarette." He smushes the remaining burning filter on the table. "I actually came over here for multiple cigarettes."

You laugh and his eyes follow the movement as you bring your drink to your lips. The drink burns as you finish it off, no reason in nursing it, you could use the liquid courage.

Carl leans back in his chair and then stands up, moving to sit next to you on the bench. The space is big enough to fit you both, but just barely. It also doesn't help that the dungeon has turned him into some enormous super human. The bench squeaks and your thighs brush one another as he makes himself comfortable. Sitting side by side is making your heart pound and you look to the crowd for distraction.

"Nice undies." You nod to the signature boxers he's always sporting. "You come in wearing those?"

He shakes his head and puts his arm across the top of the bench, looking down at them. "No, I came in wearing a more normal pair, believe it or not. The dungeon seemed to think it would be a funny joke to keep me pantsless, but at this point I barely notice."

You look at the spot where your legs touch and then remember what he moved closer for. "I'll light another smoke."

He watches you as you take another cigarette out of your inventory and hold it between your lips. You pull the matches out next and flick one on the boxes striking surface, frustratingly it does not light. Nor does the next one. You give a sheepish look to Carl and he holds out his hand.

"Here, let me try," he says.

You drop the box of matches in his hand and groan as he strikes one immediately to life, because of course he does. He leans in with a smile and cups one hand around the end of the stick sitting in your mouth and lights it.

The end burns and you take two quick breaths in, then hand it off. "All yours big guy."

Carl takes a long drag then looks at you softly, "It's been a long time since I've done this. It almost feels like I'm back on the surface, but up there I didn't really get the chance to approach people like you."

"People like me?" You raise an eyebrow.

"You know, pretty and mysterious, hiding in the corner of a club behind smoke." He lightly brushes your thigh with his finger where your legs meet.

"What would you have done back then, if you did?" You follow the slight movement of his finger on the outside of your left thigh and lean closer.

"I'd probably ask to share some of your smoke." His finger stops moving. "Have you ever done that before?"

You look at him and shake your head. "I'm not sure I follow."

Carl hums and then turns his body to face you. "Here, close your eyes."

You also turn and then follow his instructions. It might not be a good idea to put yourself in such a vulnerable position in the dungeon, but this seems to be leading somewhere fun. Also Carl wasn't known for killing fellow crawlers.

Sitting with your eyes closed you listen as he takes a deep inhale, the cigarette makes a hissing noise and then you feel his other hand trail up your arm. He moves slow, and you can feel the rough texture of his palm as it creeps closer to your neck. His fingers splay across your throat as he uses his thumb to tilt your head back. Your blood is rushing in your ears and to your core.

The bench shifts as Carl leans closer into your space, his lips touch yours unexpectedly and you let out a breath you didn't realize you were holding. He uses the moment to blow a puff of cigarette smoke into your mouth. Your hands find the top of his legs and you understand what sharing smoke means. With his lips still on yours, you take it deep into your lungs then release the puff through your nose.

With the smoke gone, the moment has turned from two people shotgunning a cigarette, to a heated kiss. Carls hand moves from your neck to behind your head and presses his lips harder on yours. Your hands trail up his legs to his chest and a small groan builds in the back of his throat. The freshly lit cigarette is long forgotten.

It’s been quite some time since you’ve kissed anyone like this, heated and passionate. Carl kisses you like he hasn’t been touched in years. His tongue runs along your bottom lip and you let him in. He tastes like nicotine and you can’t get enough. He runs his hands down your sides towards your hips and guides you forward, leading you to straddle him.

The thin material of his boxer leaves little to the imagination when you're pressed so close. He moves his mouth down your neck and you shift forward on his length, causing him to let out a soft moan.

"Fuck, this is probably so inappropriate." His voice rumbles in your ear.

"I'm sure worse has happened on that dance floor and the multiple strip clubs in this place," You say breathless as you wrap your arms around the back of his neck and look down at him.

His eyelids are low, cheeks red, and mouth puffy. It is absolutely obscene. His hands run from your hips to the top of your thighs and he gives a tight squeeze, causing you to press your body down further, you feel more of him. This is obviously not something he does very often either. It seems like he's holding on by a thread and the knowledge gives you more confidence.

With your back to the crowd, both of you hiding in the dark corner of the club, you start to move your hips in a forward motion causing Carl to moan and tighten his grip. Your fingers tug on the hair at his nape, while your mouth finds a sensitive spot along his neck. With the motion of your hips, pull of his hair, and work on his neck, Carls breathing becomes erratic. He uses his hands to guide you to a rhythm on top of him, the friction getting both of you off.

"That feels good," he says in your ear. "Fuck, keep going."

You speed up and bring your mouth back to his. The kiss is wet and sloppy, Carl groans into your mouth and uses his tongue to explore every inch. Each thrust of your hips brings you closer and closer to the edge and you know Carl isn't far behind. His grip continues to get tighter and you're positive there will be deep bruises on your skin for at least a week.

"I'm close." He moans, removing his mouth from yours.

"Carl, fuck." You squeeze your thighs against him as your body shakes with release. You can't think about anything but the man underneath you.

Carl holds you as the climax washes over your body. He moves his hands from your thighs and rubs them along your back, his touch gentle. You're both breathless and sweaty, unsure of how quickly things escalated. Carl is still hard and you reach to return the favor.

He catches your hand. "I'd rather not make a mess of myself here."

You raise an eyebrow at him.

"Well, more than I already have." He grins. "Maybe we can go check out those packs you have stashed in your safe room?" You move to slide off of him and he stops you. "I'm sorry for being so...enthusiastic. Its been awhile and I just got a bit ahead of myself."

"It's okay Carl, if I had a problem with it I would've stopped you. Don't feel bad for doing something fun." You smile at him. "Lets get out of here."

He lets you slide back to the bench as he readjusts himself. Both of you fix your appearances to the best of your ability then he grabs your hand and leads you out of the club.

"Are you going to say bye to Donut before you leave?" You ask halfway to the exit. "I saw her head up to the Penis Palace right before you found me."

"Eh, I would but I'd rather not see what she gets up to in there. That place will keep her busy for the night, and if she needs anything she can shoot me a message," He explains.

"Can't imagine its much different from what you just got up to," You joke and he lets out a laugh.

"Got me there."

[dangerandbeauty]

Deanna and Darrow Golden Son scene

[artistype]

always a delight to tune into a slimecicle stream

[mycomfortstuff]

The worst feeling is remembering a really good fic you read forever ago and not being able to find it again.

[amandamariee]

♡ azriel (my shadowsinger husband)

learning to fly, starting to crawl by @bluetimeombre

↳ and i wouldn't marry me, either by @/bluetimeombre

the truth serum incident by @mahalachives

in your presence: azriels quiet sanctuary by @bookwormjust

ice and shadows by @nattblacklupin

cassian: the annoying brother by @daycourtofficial

wanna be yours by @heirofshadowsingers

life's bright side by @inkedinshadows

↳ brooding, cuddly shadowsinger by @/inkedinshadows

something precious by @velarisdusk

the alchemy by @flickering-chandelier

attention please by @finelinevogue

between us alone by @olive-main

tell me about it... by @itsswritten

colds and retold confessions by @pellucid-constellations

↳ lessons in care by @/pellucid-constellations

↳ to feel at home by @/pellucid-constellations

↳ knowing you by @/pellucid-constellations

all's well that ends well by @azsazz

to keep you from breaking by @flowersforjude

↳ when the water recedes by @/flowersforjude

i love you (and thats all i really know) by @enchanted-by-fae

can you see right through me? by @steveslevis

blush by @kymawrites

↳ you make it better part 1 by @/kymawrites

↳ you make it better part 2 by @/kymawrites

[chloeclu]

the dichotomy of being a john walker fan:

“i need him biblically. i need him in a way that is concerning to feminism.”

“we’re gonna play the shut the fuck up game. you go first! your turn!”

[mycomfortstuff]

Seemingly unpopular opinion, donna2 was not as good as donna1. Matter of fact, I’d go as far as to say Donna2 wasn’t all that great in general.

Production value, VERY good. Sounded so much more professional.

Artist/features? Mid. Mid as fuck. Tyler the creator copy cat, zillakami copycat, pop smoke copycat. Why are there so many copycat artists?? Maybe that’s just a pet peeve of mine, but there is a distinct difference between sounding similar and outright trying to mimic someone. Stealing flows, adlibs, and VOICES is insane.

Beats? Most of them were bangers! I wasn’t a fan of track one, I just don’t think hyper pop fit the vibe personally. I don’t mind hyperpop and I liked the addition of grunk but overall, not a fan of those beats.

The songs felt like they lacked soul. Donna1 made their own personalities shine a lot more imo. Donna2 didn’t impress me as much as I wanted it to.

I do still enjoy the album and I don’t mean to only write criticism about it but I was underwhelmed.

[hullabaloons]

itch - dcc carl x reader

a chance encounter leaves you and carl with a 'nasty' debuff. takes place during part I of bedlam bride.

pairing: carl x fem!reader (slight use of Y/N sorry)

rating: 18+ (extremely horny, 5 peppers teehee)

word count: 4.1k

author's note: i told you all sex pollen was coming. i hope you prepared yourselves. @cmonmoony this is for you :P

Havana, even in its reconstructed state, was beautiful. The architecture was bright and colorful, enhanced by the warm weather and clear blue sky. It was nothing like you had ever seen before. What you and the Posse had now started calling ‘memory ghosts’ floated up and down the sidewalks and streets. It was still hard to get used to them.

You and Carl walked down the sun-soaked streets of the city, looking for lesser mobs to farm experience. Flora and fauna dotted the sidewalks in splashes of vibrant color. Your head craned up at the sky. There wasn’t a single cloud in sight.

“You’ve never seen the sky before?” Carl quipped, a light smirk in his voice.

“No actually. Never. Not once in my life.” You retorted, trying not to laugh at his remark. Looking up, you could just barely make out his form in your periphery.

“You’re going to walk into something.” He shot out his arm in front of you as the road bent to stop you from hitting a tall bush. He had most of his equipment on, the cool metal of his gauntlet hitting you in the sternum.

“Maybe I wanted to run into this bush. It looks plenty soft…and inviting.” The bush was covered in spiky thorns. Carl nodded, completely unconvinced. He looked at you and started to laugh when a notification from Donut popped up.

Donut: GUYS. MORDECAI SAYS YOU SHOULD BE HERE TO HELP ME.

Carl: Donut. You will be fine. Y/N needs a bit more experience so she can use her spells with the deck. We’ll be back soon.

Donut: FINE. I DON’T THINK I SHOULD BE HELD RESPONSIBLE IF THINGS GO WRONG.

You both ignored that last one. You laughed at Carl’s frustrated groan over Donut’s love for the caps lock key.

So far, you had killed a small handful of lesser mobs, including this weird minotaur-like creature, but instead of the body of a bull, it had the body of an elephant. Despite its size, it went down quite easily.

Rounding another corner, you spotted something before Carl did. Or better yet, someone. Leaning against a bar table outside what looked like a Cafe was one of those memory ghosts. This one was different, though. It still had a transparent quality to it, but its form had color, like someone turned up the opacity. It was ‘speaking’ to another ghost sitting at the same table, but the second you entered its field of vision, its attention snapped to you.

Oh fuck. Oh no. No no no. Despite the distance, you examined its properties.

Andrew. Ghost of Y/N’s past.

Level 52 City mob.

This is a ghost recreation of Crawler Y/N’s ex-boyfriend from Earth. He’s really not happy with how you left things.

“Oh no, absolutely not,” you yelled up towards the sky, “what did I ever do to you?”

“What the fuck?” Carl asked. Andrew was already making his way over to you. It felt like a horror movie.

“We need to go, I don’t—I can’t, I—”

Combat Started!

This wasn’t a normal battle with cards on this floor, but rather a mini boss battle, where you still had access to your skills and inventory. You stood frozen in place as the uncanny recreation of your ex-boyfriend from Earth approached you.

“Baby, please! I’m sorry about everything, let me make it up to you.” The voice you remembered had a distorted quality to it. You couldn’t move as he got closer, in shock from the utter insanity the AI was laying on you.

“Fuck! Move, Y/N!” Carl yelled. You could see him loading his xistera to lob something at the ghost. Something about the tall, real man fighting to save you knocked you out of your stupor. You stepped back and readied Ice Punch, which would freeze an enemy in place for 15 seconds. Those two attacks combined, Andrew froze in place and began taking damage from Carl. Despite his state, his mouth could still unfortunately move.

“What? Is this your new boyfriend? Running around in his tighty-whities? He’s nothing. You know I could treat you so much better than him.” He had the kind of snark in his voice that made you cringe. Once upon a time you had found it attractive.

“Fuck you, you cheating asshole!” You screamed, sending a bolt of magic lightning into his head. He took more damage, but he wasn’t dead yet. He exploded out of the frozen cocoon you had wrapped him in. The explosion was so powerful, it knocked you and Carl off your feet, flying backwards through the air. You both landed in one of those prickly bushes from before. A puff of…pollen or something poofed up into the air around you, causing the both of you to sputter and cough. Fuck. A hot sensation flooded your body immediately upon inhalation. Before you even had time to figure out what the hell that was based on the notification that you waved away, you both scrambled out of the bush and readied more attacks on Andrew.

Carl lunged forward and attacked him with Powerful Strike, bringing his health down dangerously low.

“Damn,” Andrew started. “You pack a punch. Bet you can’t fuck her hard like that. She likes it rough!” He rubbed the side of his face, then hit Carl back.

“What the everloving fuck!” You screamed, sending another bolt of lightning at him. This was utter insanity. Your cheeks were red, not just from the exertion, but from that last comment the ghost had made. He tried to throw you two off your game, but Carl wasn’t having it. You could see his face had reddened too, but he kept throwing punches until he was down. Without hesitation, Carl smushed the ghost’s head in with his foot, not letting him get in a single word. It was short, but it was over. The experience went to Carl.

“Sorry.” You couldn’t even comprehend his apology. What the fuck just happened? Why was your whole body tingling, like a fire had started in your chest and was burning you from the inside out?

“We need to go. Back to the safe room. Now.” You said, in between pants. Besides the battle, something was really, really wrong. Your feet began to move before you could even process anything.

“Wait, who was that guy?” Carl asked, still reeling from combat. If he was feeling whatever this was too, he did a good job at hiding it. “Some sort of ghost recreation of my last ex from Earth. He was such a prick. I really shouldn’t be surprised at this point, with all the fucked up shit happening to us.” You pulled up your map on the HUD, looking for the nearest personal space access. You two had actually travelled far enough on your walk that a new one populated a mile or so north. You began to speedwalk in that direction, Carl following behind.

Fuck. That hot tingle running through your body was travelling south, pooling between your legs. It stopped there. Energy coursed through your torso, hot and electric.

“Hey.” Carl’s voice stopped you dead in your tracks. It sounded… different. Sexier. “Did you read your notifications?” You shook your head no. During the battle, you had been so worked up that you waved away any and all notifications. Carl’s face was still red. He looked at you so intensely, like he was hanging on for dear life to whatever you were about to say next. Pulling up the messages, you began to scroll through. One caught your eye, the message from when you both fell into the bush. The system AI read this one in an excited tone, similar to the one it used when it talked about Carl’s feet.

WARNING! You have been poisoned! …or have you?

You have come in contact with vernonia libidinis, otherwise known as the Fuck Bush! Imbued with the strongest natural aphrodisiac we could find, the bush you just fell in has covered you with the sexiest pollen known to man. You are now insatiably horny! The only way to relieve yourself of symptoms is to get. it. on!! Find someone, really anyone, and just start bumpin’ uglies. The effects might last a pretty long time, but at least you’ll have some fun! Hopefully.

Oh shit. You met each other’s gaze. You were so fucked.

The walk—more like run—to the personal space was silent. You couldn’t speak, couldn’t even glance at each other. The increasing arousal made it almost painful to move, but you were determined to get somewhere behind closed doors alone to take care of this issue. The AI had said you had to find someone to fuck, but there was no way it could be Carl. You could ruin any semblance of friendship you had. Getting yourself off just had to work.

Carl groaned in between pants. Fuck, you thought. The noises he was making were not helping you whatsoever. The warm Havana sun was exacerbating the heat coursing through your body. The personal space was close, just up ahead through the entrance of a place called Ale’s Taqueria. The streets here were significantly less crowded with memory ghosts, allowing a smooth path to entry. You two burst inside. You passed a ghost bartender, rounding the corner behind the bar to reach the entrance.

Donut had finished whatever training she was doing in the mock arena and was now pampering Mongo in the main communal space. She lit up at your entrance.

“Carl! Y/N! You guys..are… back.” Her sentence slowed to a stop when she could see how disheveled you both appeared. “What in the heavens happened out there?” You ignored the question.

“Not now, Donut. Where’s Mordecai?” Carl asked as you made a beeline for your room, which was sandwiched in-between Carl’s and Mordecai’s studio. You caught a glance of Carl's entire body as you ran away. He was sporting a full hard-on, straining evidently through his boxers. Woah. That added to your arousal immensely. “I—uh, in his studio. Just why do you have an erection, Carl? And why does Y/N look like she’s going to pass out?”

That was the end of that.

You shut the door behind you with a click, turning the lock into place. This was not the time for anyone to be walking in unannounced. You immediately went to work pulling off all your clothes in an attempt to cool the heat that was now burning you alive from the inside. The entire surface of your body was covered in a thin sheen of sweat, your hair sticking to your neck and forehead.

“God, fuck—” you whimpered. You stood completely still, contemplating what to do. This was the most aroused you had ever been in your life. You weren’t entirely sure one orgasm would fix this issue. In the next room, you could hear Carl and Mordecai whisper-yelling back and forth.

“Vernonia libidinis. What the hell is that?”

“God fucking damnit, Carl! You’re always getting into some shit. Whatever the AI said to you, that's what you need to do.”

“It told me to get laid. Over and over again. That’s the only way to satisfy it. How in the hell am I gonna fix this? Can’t you make a healing potion or something?” You could almost hear him pacing the room. His voice sounded desperate.

“No, Carl. It won’t work. I’ve seen it happen before. You just have to, err, do what it says.” “Who am I going to fuck, Mordecai?” His voice had raised in volume, but he quieted back down for that last part. “I feel like I’m going to explode.” The room fell silent. The whimpering in his voice was driving you insane. Without you even realizing, your hands ran over your damp skin, begging for contact.

“No. I can’t. It would ruin everything.” “She’s been affected too. She’s suffering like you. It’s the most economical choice.”

“Fuck economical, Mordecai! She’s my friend. She probably doesn’t even think of me like that.” Silence again. Your hands reached your breasts, nipples hard and pointed.

“You do, though. Don’t you?” What?

“Stop. If I even think about it, this is gonna get a whole lot worse. You can’t help me, so I’ll just go.” Did Carl just inadvertently admit feelings for you? What was happening?

All of a sudden, a switch flipped. Whatever control you had left had fallen off the edge. You wanted Carl. Your hands couldn’t fix this on their own. You suddenly felt very, very needy. Like you could just beg at his feet to get this over with. Your head pounded and legs throbbed with need. You heard him close the door to his own room, then move into the adjoined bathroom your rooms shared. Seeing as you two were the only people in the party who needed a conventional bathroom, the personal space placed it in between your rooms, serving as a connection without having to enter the main space. The shower turned on. Probably ice cold. You pushed the neediness away, bringing yourself to your bed to find your first release. The idea of him pulling his sweat-slick clothes off for a shower made your arms tingle.

Your hands quickly got to work. One palmed your breasts together while the other worked fast on your clit. While it felt good, it barely provided any relief to the hot energy coursing through you. Your breath quickened and your heart rate rose, like this was a true illness bringing you to the brink of death. The antidote only a few feet away.

“Fuck!” You screamed, part pleasure, part frustration. It almost hurt. To please yourself instead of succumbing to the wishes of the AI. “Fuck you,” You whispered to no one in particular, groaning and twisting in the sheets. It was starting to give you a headache. You felt sick. Carl must have been experiencing the same symptoms, if what Mordecai said to him was true. 

The crawler invaded your thoughts. At this point, it wasn’t worth the mental exertion to push them away. You worked again at your swollen nub thinking of the tall, rugged man. Thinking of the huge hard-on in his boxers earlier. Running your hands up and down each other. Thinking about how you wanted nothing more than to take him in your mouth and—

Click. Your door to the bathroom opened. Carl stood there, clad in nothing but a small towel around his waist. Fuck. You forgot to lock that one. You removed your hand from in between your legs, not bothering to try and cover up. 

It just had to come to this. There was no one else to fuck, no one else you even wanted to fuck. It was always him.

You were a hot and sweaty writhing mess on the bed. You probably looked disgusting.

To him, you were glowing.

There were no words to be said. You both knew what was about to happen. No doubt he tried to relieve himself in that shower. Despite it being ice cold, his body still radiated heat from the drug. His eyes raked you up and down, hungry. Between deep breaths, you nodded.

He moved quickly. His towel dropped at the end of the bed and you finally caught sight of it. He was a massive dude, of course his dick had to be huge. Your eyes widened. Fuck me, you thought.

“Just so we’re clear,” he began, his voice a deep rasp filled with lust, “we both need to get this drug out of our system. No strings.”

“No strings.” You agreed. In a swift movement, Carl reached over and grabbed your legs, pulling you to the edge of the bed. He wasted no time kneeling down in front of you, massaging your skin and kissing the inside of your legs.

This time, it was different. His touch was electric. It satisfied the burning under your skin, but it still left you needing more. One of his hands disappeared past the edge of the bed, and you could catch the repetitive jerking motion blocked by the mattress. It might just kill you to see it.

“Why don’t, fuck, why don’t you let—let me?” You groaned as he finally attached his mouth to your swollen pussy. He looked up at you with heated eyes and gave a subtle ‘no’ head shake. His mouth felt fantastic. His other hand moved down your thighs towards your entrance. He separated from you for a brief moment. 

“Can you take it for me, sweetheart?” His eyes met yours for consent. You nodded quickly. One finger first—then two. You were already soaked enough. He used his hands and mouth in conjunction for a few minutes to bring you to your first orgasm, which exploded out of you. Your head flew back, pushing deep into the mattress. Your vision went white.

“Carl!” you screamed, hands flying to his head to push him deeper into you. He’d must think you were a crazed animal being let out of their cage for the first time with how your body writhed. He obliged in lapping up your first climax, licking his fingers clean too.

He stood back, looking at you. Coming down from your first orgasm, your legs unclenched, revealing the first of many messes to be made on this bed. His eyes passed over you again, still just as hungry. His cock stood straining at attention. Despite being drained of most of your strength, you lifted your hand and made a beckoning motion. “I—I want,” you managed to squeak out. He smirked. He looked much more in control of himself than you were. Like the pollen barely touched him.

“Would that help now, baby? Getting on your knees in front of me and sucking me off while you play with yourself?”

“You want it.” You said, a wave of confidence taking over. You slithered off the edge of the bed. On your knees in front of the tall, hulking man, you smiled. “Take me. Take whatever you want.” It was like a sex demon-spirit-thing had possessed you fully.

“You can’t just say that to me, baby.”

“Try me.” 

Before you even had the chance to finally get a taste of him, Carl grabbed you and threw you onto the bed. He flipped you so you were on your hands and knees, Carl behind you. Before doing anything, he grabbed a fistful of your hair and brought his mouth to your ear.

“Is what that ghost prick said true? You like it rough?” Gods. His voice was driving you crazy. He thrust into you from behind with no warning, almost knocking you over. His cock stretched you wide, burning with pleasure. You had broken up with Andrew months before the collapse, so it had been a long time since any sexual encounter.

“God, fuck!” You screamed. Carl’s name spilled out over and over again like a prayer, equal to the pace of his thrusts. It was the most intense, and the most pleasurable sex you had ever had in your life. What had you said earlier, no strings?

The thought left as quick as it came.

Carl moaned your name back, reaching under your hips to use his hands on you again. For someone stuck in the dungeon for months, not having any free time for sex, he sure knew what the hell he was doing. He kept moving, in and out, hitting that perfect spot over and over.

“Fuck me,” he groaned, “you’re perfect. Such a good girl for me.” Nothing coming out of your mouth had any coherence anymore. He fucked you relentlessly, hard and fast. His arms were wrapped around your torso, one hand working your clit again, and the other tightly gripping one of your breasts. The slick sounds of your bodies filled the small room. Your face fell down into the mattress, unable to hold yourself up anymore.

Luckily, Carl had incomprehensible strength. He grabbed you again like you were nothing and spun you around. He held your body in the air and turned to pin you against the wall. His mouth attached to your neck, kissing and sucking as he rammed into you over and over.

“You’ve been driving me fucking insane, you know that?” He said in between kisses. “I think about you and this gorgeous fucking body every day. How badly I need you. Not the, fuck, not the pollen talking, baby. Pollen’s got nothing on the way I feel about you.”

What? What happened to no strings?

Your pleasure came to a head once again as, this time, Carl pushed through his orgasm. Cursing a string of expletives against your neck, his thrusts slowed. You were thoroughly wiped as a second orgasm coursed through you. The pollen made your highs so much higher. Another one might just send you into a coma. Your body crumpled, but Carl caught you in his arms. He murmured something under his breath you couldn’t quite catch.

“Ahh, fuck,”

Without you even noticing, you were suddenly down on the bed. Time slowed. Your vision faded. Carl was above you, then next to you, laying down alongside you. The heat had faded down to a small simmer. “It’s s-so warm in here..” A fan appeared near you, blowing cool air onto your naked body. His inventory had to be bottomless. When did he even get that?

Without another word, you fell asleep.

The last thing you remembered from last night was Carl’s sweet gaze as you fell asleep in your bed. Your head was throbbing as you blinked your eyes open. It felt like when you slept off a fever, drenched in cold sweat and fighting brain fog. Were you sick? What happened? There was a man sleeping next to you. Carl.

The memories came flooding back.

The battle with Andrew. The bush with the pollen. Carl back in the safe room. Your hands all over each other. Oh fuck. No no no. Carl’s confession. There was no way you could move without waking him, with his beefy arms holding you in place. Maybe this was a dream. Maybe you could close your eyes again and wake up somewhere else. Alone. It had to be a sick joke from the AI.

“How do you feel?” A low rasp came from beside you. Fuck. 

“I… I should probably shower.” The thin sheet thrown over the two of you was covering your still-naked body. There was no way out of this. Looking over at Carl, your heart fluttered. Last night, your body was aflame from his touch. Now, your brain couldn’t quite comprehend the emotions wracking your mind. It was an attraction you felt for the man lying next to you. He laughed.

“Me too.”

“Carl. You said something last night. I remember it.” He turned to face the ceiling, like he couldn’t bear to maintain eye contact for this next part. “You said it wasn’t the pollen talking.” He sighed.

“My constitution is relatively high. It didn’t affect me as bad as you.”

“Then why’d you do it? Come into my room?”

“You needed help. I couldn’t just pawn you off onto a stranger.” You laid there for a moment, pondering what he just said. That couldn’t have been the whole truth.

“Was what you said true, then? You know, at the end.” A beat of silence followed. When he turned to look at you, his face was red.

“I don’t think I could lie to you.” The confession sat heavy in the air.

But you decided not to think about it. 

In a quick movement, you leaned over and kissed him. Not surprising you in the slightest based on what he just said, he relaxed into you, his hands holding your face. Despite your naked state, there was no sexual intention. You kissed each other like that for a few minutes, slow and meaningful. You ran your hands past his neck down his arms, stopping at the Guild tattoo on his elbow.

“I hate all these tattoos. I feel so different from the man who entered the dungeon.” He laughed, in between kisses.

“Battle scars,” You replied. “Proof you’re still alive. Still human.” He held you tighter.

A message took over your vision, the first one you had paid any attention to since before the battle.

Donut: ARE YOU GUYS DONE YET. IT’S LITERALLY THE NEXT DAY, AND FRANKLY I’D LIKE A BIT OF REST WITH NONE OF THAT DISGUSTING NOISE.

[marinecanary]

everyone go write dungeon crawler carl x reader fanfic NOW!!!

[heyitswolfman]

The people being confused about Whitaker lashing out at Langdon have never experienced hating someone simply because your best friend hates them too

[sammroo167]

*starting a rumour* look at them