a girl and her dudes

My name is Marissa, I live in Australia with my son, puppy (he's not a puppy any more) and my fiancé. We’ve been friends since we were 13 and now we're living in our own home, looking after our babies & trying to do real life adults things even though we have no clue.

[mydarlingboys]

25 January 2019

Today is my 30th birthday.

I am pleased about this, I feel very positive about this decade - where my 20s were full of change and struggle and adventure I feel excited for 30 and the person I am becoming.

I remember thinking 30 was so old but I still feel very much like a kid playing at being an adult. I don’t know exactly if I want that to change, I hope I can still keep this ‘young at heart’ for years to come.

It has been an incredibly long Friday at work and I am only now on the train at 6:53pm. I hoped to go out to a casual dinner with babe & boyfriendman but right now I want nothing more than to get in my pyjamas and relax with my boys on the couch. Hopefully food will magically appear.

[mydarlingboys]

23 January 2019

Waaaaaa my family day care educator just informed me that she is pregnant (yay for her!) but this means that around June I need to put Dom into care somewhere else 😣

I’m unreasonably sad about this because I love the family feel of her place and her two sons get along with our little dude so well. I’m worried if we go somewhere else in the period she is taking mat leave that we won’t come back to her. That is, if she chooses to reopen again now that she will have 3 kids of her own.

So not keen to dive into the process of calling around and interviewing and filling in endless forms and then the endless waiting 😞

[universitybookstore]

I Ask Percy How I Should Live My Life

“Love, love, love says Percy. And run as fast as you can along the shining beach, or the rubble, or the dust. Then, go to sleep. Give up your body heat, your beating heart. Then, trust.”

– Mary Oliver. (September 10, 1935 - January 17, 2019.) Rest in peace, poet.

[mydarlingboys]

16 January 2019

When you have a clingy baby and a needy dog sometimes you just lay on the floor and surrender to being touched and nudged all day long.

[mydarlingboys]

9 January 2019

I read Ask Me His Name by Elle Wright today - a memoir about life after the loss of a baby.

I don’t think I would have ever picked up this book before being a Mum myself, but even still it is unimaginable to me how awful that would have been.

Sometimes I need to be reminded that life is so brief and unpredictable. How incredible it is to be given the chance to love, and how heartbreaking to have it taken away.

[mydarlingboys]

it me - with a fringe!

[mydarlingboys]

Today Dom is in day care and I have a million things to do before going back to work on Monday.

LETS DO THIS.

[mydarlingboys]

It took an unreasonable amount of time to take the shit out of my car, wash everything and then put it back? I mean I paid someone to clean the exterior but the inside was all me.

6 bags of clothes/linen/baby stuff/DVDs were donated.

I got a blunt fringe for the first time since I was like, seven. I am not in love with it but I don’t hate it.

My house is cleaner but it is never ending. I mopped the whole house but after the baby ate dinner you can’t tell it’s clean.

Speaking of dinner - the little dude actually ate quite a lot of it! He’s always been great about putting things in his mouth but not so much on the swallowing front. Creamy French onion casserole ✅

I’m glad I got to be productive because now it’s 8:30PM and I’m calling it a night.

[mydarlingboys]

Today Dom is in day care and I have a million things to do before going back to work on Monday.

LETS DO THIS.

[mydarlingboys]

29 December 2018

Yeah nah, so a bit annoying that both my blogs are flagged as explicit.

I mean this one is just a record of my family and the other I don’t even use anymore.....

[mydarlingboys]

A smattering of Christmas....

[mydarlingboys]

20 December 2018

I had my last appointment with my perinatal psych. It was really light hearted and we had a good chat about expectations & influences on kids these days. I feel quite sad about it though because I really enjoy bouncing ideas off of her, and this will be the last time I see her professionally.

The service I used is focussed on helping parents who cannot find affordable mental heath services, and is limited to 10 sessions a year so that it can be used by as many people as possible. I definitely feel like the 10 sessions served me enough, but am bummed for that friendship to be over.

I guess the upside is that now other people who are really struggling can access care that I sometimes felt like an imposter for using.

I cannot reccomend seeking counselling enough when you are a brand new mum - it really helped support me through the transition and I only wish I didn’t wait until he was months old to begin.

[mydarlingboys]

I AM A VISIONARY

Fruit loaf + peanut butter + nutella

= fruit and nut chocolate in toast form.

[mydarlingboys]

The only good thing about waking up early for work days is seeing my dudes sleeping peacefully in the morning light.

[mydarlingboys]

11 December 2018

Tonight boyfriendman and I dropped the little dude at my parents and went out for sushi train, just us two.

I think this is maybe the second ‘date’ we’ve had since 31 October 2017?

It felt so strange to have Jyle sitting in the front seat of the car, even weirder to be able to fully eat dinner without having to take care of someone else!

We’re going to try and make monthly date nights a thing. It’s nice to relax and enjoy each other, we don’t do that enough.

[mydarlingboys]

I LOVE HIMMMMMMMM

[mydarlingboys]

6 December 2018

I remember when I was younger I felt a sense of pity for my mum and the way her life had turned out to be. Stuck in the same town, same job, sacrificing for her husband and kids, an exercise in compromise. I look just like her, a mini Maria - and for most of my teenage years & early 20s I really resisted the idea of being anything like her.

I stumbled across this video today, and it was just a revelation for me.

I resented that she seemed trapped. I didn’t want to feel like I wasn’t in control of my life, that someone had made the choices for me, that I was just stepping through the process of the women who had came before me.

I thought she was unhappy, with her domestic married maternal life.

Because I felt that that was a life wasted.

But now, at 29 with my beautiful baby, dog & boyfriendman - I could not be more grateful.

This is the life I chose for me, and it is just like my mother’s and there is nothing to feel sorry about.

I really need to work up the courage to tell her that someday soon.

[mydarlingboys]

4 December 2018

Leave the babe alone in my wardrobe for 30 seconds while I’m putting the dog outside, come back to find he’s gone through my undies drawer and decided that my menstrual cup is his new toy du jour and cries if I try to take it from him.

Sweet. Looks like we’re going grocery shopping with my MeLuna cup then.