[mydeadweightthoughts]

it’s june!!! warm wonderful june!!!

[dappermouth]

And then you had that dream again.

[kosmogrl]

well let’s see if I care

[kosmogrl]

I DO

[mydeadweightthoughts]

I’m allowed to have dreams!

I’m allowed to want to go to New Zealand! Or Mongolia!! Or Italy!!!

I’m allowed to plan places my future self will be!

And follow through with it!!

I’m allowed to believe I will exist in the future in other times and other places!

Especially other places!!

[mydeadweightthoughts]

forever chasing the high of a breathless over eager conversation with someone on your exact wavelength

[mydeadweightthoughts]

to be honest i’m always being honest

[mydeadweightthoughts]

they always want you to kiss the knuckles they beat you with

[mydeadweightthoughts]

i always forget that whilst I am trying to become a better version of myself I am allowed to exist fully as the person I am right now.

[mydeadweightthoughts]

[mydeadweightthoughts]

[mydeadweightthoughts]

I woke up pretty scared

about 30 minutes ago

I didn’t have my thoughts in order and I kept thinking things as if I were dreaming and nothing really makes sense and then I got scared I was going to go crazy

But I always tell myself now that I can’t take my thoughts seriously for 30 mins after waking up

I can’t panic for those thirty minutes

I must give myself time to adjust

To acclimatise to my new state

Of being

[mydeadweightthoughts]

Heaven is to write and write and shit and eat and write and write and

[housegoblin]

[arylleth]

i have a longing that's killing me.

mahmoud darwish, memory for forgetfulness

[mydeadweightthoughts]

The realisation that I take time to acclimatise to situations or places and that’s it’s okay (!) has changed something fundamentally in the expectations I have of myself

[wishing-forrain]

oh fuck its january next week

[metamorphesque]

― Jean-Paul Sartre, Nausea

[text ID: I am going to outlive myself. Eat, sleep, sleep, eat. Exist slowly, softly, like these trees, like a puddle of water, like the red bench in the streetcar.]