My Oblivious World @mydementia - Tumblr Blog

Dude, srsly

Ay wtf man, I just went through all my old posts. It turns out I’ve always been blocking and hiding my feelings anyways. LOL.

Stupid.

So... how do I fix this? Be more confrontational...? Such a nightmare to picture that ever happening.

DEAL WITH IT PLEASE AND STOP SCROLLING BACK FIVE YEARS LATER TO REALIZE NOTHING REALLY CHANGED!

Blank shots.

Last week alone, four close friends came up to me (on separate occasions) asking if I’m okay. (Something about my facial expression looked like I am about to murder anyone who came in my way)

I felt fine, I didn’t really get what they were talking about.

Turns out, I was blocking out a helluva emotions just so I don’t have to deal with them. I mean, being here now, there’s just too many people with worse problems. Over the years I learned to contain and remind myself that whatever I am dealing with is nothing compared to what other people face.

So just yesterday, all he said was, “Could you turn of the music, I had a long day at work.” And that, that was all it took for me to break down and cry (in the bathroom of course, I didn’t want him to find out).

All sorts of crazy went through my mind. Couldn’t help thinking if something was wrong with me. I had no problems, no personal issues, no beef at work, life is generally fine. So why, the hell, did I break down?

In fact, I was lying to myself. I blocked it all out for the sake of others. I felt that it was undeserving of me to self-pity myself. To rant about stuff that are no biggie. I had no outlet. I disallowed any form of outlets.

Dear me, why do you always find ways to self-destruct?

Shiz.

#ffkhm

It’s been a while.

Hi. It has, hasn’t it?

You know, I come here only when things are starting to get out of control and I couldn’t handle my own thoughts. So I come here to pour them all out.

“How are you?” “How’s work?” People often ask when we bump into each other. I usually answer with a shrug and say “Meh, you know how it is.”

I’ll tell you how I am right now. I feel depressed, disappointed, anxious, frustrated, worried. Why? It’s really just about two things that have a big impact to my future - my job, and the country I am in right now.

And people.

Some days right.

Well, hold that thought. It’s lunch time. Gotta go out and “be normal” for a bit.

I’ll come back and continue (if I have the time or energy later.)

#ffkhm #dailyrants #generation y

bernadettelogue

Allow yourself to be a beginner. No one starts off being excellent.

TheDailyPositive.com (via thedailypozitive)

littlegirlover

pie eating contest?

nah son free pie

xhericanex-deactivated20190103

If you only knew what I feel, would it change a thing?

(via gurongdyosa)

puppygal92

Before u make fun of someone’s foreign accent, take some time to think about how they speak more languages than u and how u are a failure

words-of-emotion

kushandwizdom

Good Vibes HERE

modddy-deactivated20160404

sellseashells-deactivated201506

suezswink-deactivated20140328

psych-facts

You don’t need anyone’s affection or approval in order to be good enough. When someone rejects or abandons or judges you, it isn’t actually about you. It’s about them and their own insecurities, limitations, and needs, and you don’t have to internalize that. Your worth isn’t contingent upon other people’s acceptance of you — it’s something inherent. You exist, and therefore, you matter. You’re allowed to voice your thoughts and feelings. You’re allowed to assert your needs and take up space. You’re allowed to hold onto the truth that who you are is exactly enough. And you’re allowed to remove anyone from your life who makes you feel otherwise.

Daniell Koepke (via californiagirlwearingpearls)