Newly updated (finally!) 31 new photos from Costa del Sol and general website updates.

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@myetchta-blog
Newly updated (finally!) 31 new photos from Costa del Sol and general website updates.
Cameras: D-750, D-745, s9200, s3200
Those I went to uni with will know my little Nikon Coolpix s1000 well, he spent 3 years with me up in Liverpool, joined us on many a night out and provided me with countless fond memories. Unfortunately, 3 years of partying has taken its toll on the little fella. He is now covered in scratches and struggles to zoom after too many knocks. He also now freezes after he takes a picture, which can only be cured by removing the battery, (probably a result of too much vodka and beer). This can only mean one thing, NEW CAMERA TIME!
I went into PC World/Currys (since they're too lazy to pick just ONE name) and viewed what was available. I picked four that took my fancy, two by Coolpix, Nikon (s3200 and s9200) and two by Olympus (D-745 and D-750), then I came home and studied their technical specifications online and compared them against each other. *Pushes her glasses up the bridge of her nose* I figured I may as well share this, in case anyone else wants to read out of interest or is looking to get a new camera! I've written it with simplified jargon, just in case people need things explained! (see if you can figure out which is the most expensive and which is the cheapest from this) :)
Mega pixels (obviously important, you want a good quality image)
16 (Jointly won by s3200, s9200, and D-750)
14.5 (D-745)
ISO Range (a bigger range is more useful in different light levels, a lower number is less sensitive to light)
80 - 3200 (s3200)
160 - 2300 (s9200)
100 - 1600 (D-750)
80 - 1600 (D-745)
Image stabilisation
Lens shift (s3200, s9200), personally prefer, though it's more expensive
dual (D-750), definition varies from makers, too unreliable (personally)
digital (D-745), tries to remove shake or blur after the picture is taken
Focal length (Don't worry about this too much, but again a bigger range is more useful)
4.5 - 81mm (s9200)
4.2 - 40mm (D-750)
4.6 - 27.6mm (s3200)
4.7 - 23.5mm (D-745)
35mm Equivalent focal length (The lens angle, how much of a scene it can capture, once again a bigger range is better)
25 - 450mm (s9200)
24 - 240mm (D-750)
26 -156mm (s3200)
26 - 130mm (D-745)
Aperture (Controls how much light is let through to the sensor, the smaller the number the more light is let in, a bigger range is more useful)
f/2.8 - 6.5 (D-745, I was surprised by this)
f/3.5 - 6.5 (s3200)
f/3 - 5.7 (D-750)
3.5 - 5.9 (s9200)
Optical zoom (I've ignored digital zoom for this, it creates a noise problem in pictures)
18x (s9200)
10x (D-750)
6x (s3200)
5x (D-745)
Summary: (NB: Both the Nikon offer "Anti-reflection" screens, the Olympus don't.)
Nikon Coolpix s9200, The most expensive at £199.99
Nikon Coolpix s3200, £84.99
Jointly shared by the Olympus D-750 (£94) and Olympus D-745 (69.99)
Having compared them, my heart is set on the little Nikon Coolpix s3200, I personally feel the s9200 is too expensive, if I want higher quality images I will use my D70s. The s9200 is also substantially clunkier than the sleek s3200, I want a little camera I can fit in my pocket or a small bag.
I have been home for 2 days and I am already so bored I want to jump in my car and drive to Mexico. I'm bored in Liverpool too, but that's a different kind of bored. It's a bored where time still passes. It feels like I've been stuck at home for weeks. Friday can't come soon enough -.-
Anxiety, I'm fucked.
I'm so fed up! Last year, my boyfriend of the time casually let slip in a conversation that he had noticed I sometimes grind my teeth in my sleep, something I was massively unaware of.
Since then I've noticed the surfaces to all my incisors are polished flat at a slight angle, my lower right lateral incisor fits at an angle perfect for my upper right canine. Today I looked in the mirror and noticed a dent in my upper right medial incisor. I've worn my teeth down so much I want to cry. I've told the dentist about it, he told me to use sensetive toothpaste for the pain (due to wearing the enamel down) and that he could file my lower right lateral incisor down flat, what about my upper incisors?! I already hate my left medial! It overlaps my right medial slightly and is a bit bigger, I'm massively paranoid about it! Now my right medial has a massive dent in it and if that gets filed down lefty will look even more hillbillyesk!
The irony is, the anxiety of my teeth getting worse is causing me stress, which is causing me to grind my teeth in my sleep! I can't stop this circle! I'm a little ball of anxiety! I get heart palpatations, shakes, grind my teeth, bite around my fingers till they bleed, bite the insides of my cheeks until I get ulcers, and bite my lips until they bleed! I CAN'T STOP IT!! I shouldn't even BE stressed! I have NOTHING to do! No uni, no nothing! But since finishing uni my anxieties have got worse, I'm a STATE!
I can't even go to the Dr for anxiety help because last time he just slapped me on SSRI anti-depressants (specifically Citalopram) and I got very vivid and scary suicidal thoughts. I am not ever, EVER, going on anti-depressants again. I don't recommend anyone does, I don't even care if the Dr thinks I should just try a different brand, that's not something I'm ever risking again. I don't like those thoughts.
Basically, I'm stuck being a little ball of stress and anxiety, with hillbillyesk teeth, bleeding fingers, ulcers in my mouth, and bleeding lips! Oh and I've started biting my nails recently too...Jesus wept. I need a god damn hug, and some alcohol. No wonder no one finds me attractive, such a state!
Fuck this, I'm going shopping.
4 New Photographs!
four new photographs on the (new) website today, all from Liverpool. Two of the bombed out church, one of barbed wire, and one of the metropolitan cathedral.
Tabatha Lawton
To all you who don't believe I can actually cook because I can never be bothered to:
Cut up and fried the chicken bits.
Made a sauce from tomatoes, oregano, and fair bit of red wine. Boiled pasta.
Added pasta to the sauce and chicken bits.
DONE. FINISHED. FINI. FINITO. And it was delicious, if a bit alcoholic! (I was a tad sozzled after)
Fuck off now and never tease me for "not being able to cook" ever a-fucking-gain.
Especially that ONE person who can't actually cook in the slightest, but who mocks ME for "not being able to cook". I tell you how to cook everything in the first place! I don't even EAT red meat and I've told you several times now how you can cook it!
Romania Remembered
Decided to remember my 2010 trip to Romania, in picture form! These are all from the collective photos of Romania - If you wondered why I take so many pictures, it's so I can vividly remember fond memories, like these! :) - Why 2 years later? Because I've been thinking about how amazing it was, and how I wish I could do things like this more.
Piatra Tomii (Rock of Thomas), our archaeological dig site!
Our camp from the top of Piatra Tomii.
One word sums Romania up really...Beautiful! (Not you, sorry Sam!!)
The weather has the ability to be sunshine one second and torrential rain the next! Often stopping our archaeology in its tracks!
Our evenings consisted, without fail, of a campfire, and masses of beer, wine, and tuica (A moonshine that smells like paint thinner and burns your throat when drunk...would be illegal in the UK)
Went river walking and saw some of the most beautiful sights of my god damn life.
Posed! (Let's face it, you'd be worried if I didn't!!)
Randomly went caving. Nearly died on the hike up to the cave. Lose rocks are not the best thing to climb up vertically! :D (deffo wouldn't be allowed to do in the UK!)
Illegally drunk in a military square...? (Last night in Romania, why not!)
Discovered the Romanians are BIG drinkers! (Yup, that's Tabs off her face being supplied with more and more alcohol!)
Drunken female public urination bonding sesh, where we befriended a stray dog! :) (maybe I should rename this to 'illegal things Tabs did in Romania'?)
Got the sexiest sock tan - EVER! ...Which I still faintly have 2 years on...! (Did anyone wonder why I'm so pale...? My skin DOES NOT like the sun one bit.)
OVERALL:
-> We got bullied by a 10 year old Romania girl (Ah, Maria!)
Maria getting ready to marry Ben off!
Maria pairing us off to marry us all (notice how freakin' tiny I am! Maria is nearly as freakin' tall as me...and she's 10!! -.-)
-> We did a lot of sitting about!
-> We did A LOT of drinking! (usually 8 hours every evening, poor livers!)
-> We did SOME archaeology...!
(Thanks to Holly, Rachel, Lea, Hannah, and Viv for some of the pictures!) :D
I've managed to sprain my ankle...again!! -.- Walking and dancing in 5 inch stiletto heels while totally wasted? No problem. Walking up the stairs barefooted and stone sober? Sprained ankle...yeh! That makes sense!! FML! -.-
Sometimes I wish I could hire a man...No, not for that, you disgusting people! You see, I am "petite". I am around 5'2" and I weigh 41kg at my lightest and 50kg at my heaviest (my weight naturally yo yos)...let's face it, you'd be kidding yourself if you think that's built for lifting objects and for manual tasks.
To the main point to this story. Tommorrow morning I have to attempt to pack my car up with a bunch of junk that's gathered in my uni room since the start of the year! I'm talking 3 boxes, 2 bags, a printer, and a lot more! Some of these things I am pretty sure weigh more than me! Alas, no big, strong men around to help me!!
Not that I'm complaining, as the boys I live with would tell you, I'm pretty independent I think I've only asked for help from them 3 times this entire year! Half the time if they offer to help, I'll refuse anyway. I may be short, and skinny...and a girl - but I can manage! I could also easily pursude someone to help me if I wanted to. (I'm not proud of this, but I've had to "manipulate" men in the past to help me and my mum carry things, it's a "skill" I've learnt from my mum! She's had random men running to change a flat tyre for her on the side of the road before!)
Yes, I'm that girl you see in the shops who people laugh at because she has to jump to reach items on the top shelf...I'd rather die than ask someone else to get it for me! When I'm older, I'll probably do what my mum does and flutter my eyelashes and ask the nearest tall bloke to fetch an item for me. But for now I do alright! (Already my mum has said she likes me going places with her where lifting is required because "men come running over to help us without her having to ask" ...I feel so dirty being used like that!!) - Oh and I almost forgot in the "bone lab" at uni, where I was too short to reach the skeletons in the top boxes...USING A STEP LADDER! We had to get a special ladder that was higher so I could reach them, and before that arrived I had to ask my tutor to get the boxes down for me... :(
I don't think chivalry is dead, I just think you have to be the right height for it! When you're petite, guys are more than happy to look after you, let you go before them in a line, hold doors open for you, help you, and let you get served first at a bar :) ...although, once that same bloke has had a few too many suddenly you're getting beer showers, trodden on, pushed about, elbowed in the head...so you know, downside! >:(
Eh, overall I like being petite (and it is petite, not short!) It'd be so weird if I was tall! Try to imagine it! ...weird!!
How can I sum up how I feel at the moment...?
JNJKNDGSKLNGSDASCF MVBFAUITNKLEGndbnwfhjgtknfklnasghkl.
fdjksdfnasfmkl;wrl;mL;MFHDL;FL;MDGDJK IKGTFIH
...Yup, that's it! FML, FML, FML!!
Why fml? because FUCK MY FUCKING LIFE. Seriously, so sick of it. Year in year out same shit, clearly just a horrible person in general. Why do I fucking bother?
"You're a cunt, no one likes you" ...sad thing is that's true! Still, wasn't called for. Oh well. One less person to bother keeping in contact with after uni! :D
Is it counted as running away from your problems when you're considering leaving Liverpool for good (with exception of a day for my exam)? Nothing good has come of Liverpool. Sure I got a degree and met 7 or 8 people I will keep in contact with post uni...but once again, people don't like me. People don't think I'm worth the time of day...brilliant! Recurring theme for my life there. If I could go back in time and tell 17 year old Tabs not to bother fighting and just give up, I would. FML.
Plan for the rest of my time in Liverpool? Sit about in pajamas, crying and watching films where people are happy and loathe every last happy person on this god damn planet....while my ferrets run amock in my room...sounds like a plan, I give up - clearly was never meant to be happy anyway.
URGHHHHHHHHHHHHH so fed up.
The facebook journey...
When I look back on old facebook pictures of myself, I’m always amazed how much I’ve changed in a matter of years! I don’t look like myself back then, or now…I don’t know it’s confusing!! In that time I’ve grown from someone I hated, to someone I disliked, to someone I’d put up with, to now…someone I’m quite pleased to be (a good proportion of the time!). The odd thing is, using facebook I can actually watch myself change over the years! I've noticed myself become girlier as I become more comfortable with myself and as I feel prettier...
We start with youngster Tabs, the little blonde haired, blue eyed outgoing yet spacey child who loved to make people laugh…(and who was literally dropped on the head as a baby, as it turns out...THANKS MUM!!)
We skip past any in between as this is the Tabs I hate the most, to this day. I don’t believe many pictures of me in this time frame exist. (GOOD.) -.-
Now we jump to 2008/2009! The last year of college. Red haired and just coming to accept myself for me.
To 2009/2010, the first year of university. Thrown into a world where people think I’m pretty (GOOD GOD, WHAT STRANGE FANGLED CONCEPT IS THIS?!).
Now, 2010/2011! Second year of uni and, again, still not used to the concept that people would actually find me attractive. This Tabs comes with new and improved brown hair!
Modern day, 2011/2012. Third and final year of uni. Fresh blonde hair to rival my younger self, now am able to look at pictures of myself and not think “holy crap my face is so god damn awful”. This is the “me” I’ve always felt like, I don’t feel uncomfortable as this me. So looking back at other versions of me…the betas (I guess, if you wanted to be nerdy about it) it feels bizarre. They don’t seem like me because I can’t imagine looking like them now…if that makes sense. Yet I'm still the same Tabs, spacey, lacking in common sense, likes to laugh...etc. just maybe, girlier? (get that? Good, because I don't!)
I guess it’s been one big journey these last four years. The end story is thank you to all my friends who helped me become a happier person. Thank you to all the fellas out there who have chatted me up on nights out or in general, that’s certainly something I’ve never been used to. Oh, and fuck you to everyone who made me think I was ugly and worthless because those comments will always haunt me no matter how I feel about myself.
Think before you call someone ugly, it’s something that stays with you and it becomes a massive struggle to attempt to become attractive…that’s a fight I’ve always fought and to this day I’m very uncomfortable with my natural appearance. I guess the other message I'd like to get across is, if you're not happy with who you are...you don't have to sit about and mope because you think that's "who you'll always be". I believe I'm living proof that you can change your appearance and personality into something you want to be and someone you feel happy being. Most of the pictures of me on facebook now, I have a mahoosive grin on my face because overall I am happy. (at least happier than I was between the ages of 12 - 18).
(I also love the fact in all 4 of those pictures in the past 4 years, I had been drinking in all of them! ...totally not an alcoholic!!) :)
Turns out my name makes people respond in predictable ways...(these are all genuine things I've heard)
"Tabatha? That's a very unusual name!"
"Tabatha? That's a very pretty name!"
"Tabatha, so what do people call you? Tabs? Tabby?"
"Tabatha? Tabatha...? Well it's nice to meet you Tabatha!"
"I had a cat called Tabatha...it was male"
"My friend had a cat called Tabatha...It was male"
"Tabatha, how do you spell that, Tabatha?"
"No it's not, what's your name? ...Is that really your name?"
Then there are your unusual responses:
"Tabatha, it's very pretty, did you know it means "gazelle" in Arabic?"
"Oh i used to know someone called Tabatha!"
Then, oh dear god the spelling variations!
"Tabitha"
"Tabetha"
"Tabbitha" (personally my favourite!)
"Tabather"
"Taberther"
Not even most of my family spell my name right!! French people pronounce my name as "Taba-ta". Add in the crap middle name, mothers maiden name and surname that people on the phone need you to spell out...and my main bit of advice here:
DON'T TRY TO BE A SMART ARSE WHILE NAMING YOUR CHILD!!
What's wrong with me?
Sneezeway to heaven...?
So, this was going to be a nice musical gift to everyone because I missed my keyboard and am enjoying having it back…So I decided to play one of my favourite songs. Then I sneezed part way through it (and ruined it), and it made me laugh a fair amount (not that that’s hard to do) so I give you the sneezeway to heaven…?!
Sincere apologies for my voice cracking in places, my drive home from Liverpool consists of me shouting away to music for 4 hours…so obv my throat was hurting a tad!
BAM!
http://youtu.be/zxT8ownZKPM
Weakness is an odd thing. Dictionary.com defines weakness as "the state or quality of being weak; lack of strength, firmness, vigor, or the like; feebleness". It can be physical from an illness, or simply emotional. I guess the definition of emotional weakness ranges from person to person, what one person finds weak another may find normal.
To me the definition of emotional weakness is crying infront of people (not others crying infront of me, just me crying infront of them). To some people I am an emotionless zombie, I just get on with things, that's fine I don't mind people thinking that of me, that's just how I deal. Others mistake me for being "strong", there's where I have a problem. I am anything but a strong person! My best friend (who has seen me at my weakest a hell of a lot over the past 8, or so, years) would (probably) tell you in an instant there is nothing strong about my personality, stubborn maybe, but strong? No.
It's funny how people mistake someone's reaction to a situation as strength. When my aunt died, everyone told me how brave and strong I was being about the entire situation...really I was dying inside. But I knew my mum was having a rough time and needed someone to help her, not someone who was falling apart. That's not strength, that's my constant urge to help people I care about taking priority over my own sadness.
It drives me insane when someone won't ask me for help when they clearly need help from someone. I understand that it links back to feelings of weakness, but it does people good to talk about things, otherwise you bottle emotions up and end up with a big fireball of emotions you have held in. Not enough of my friends understand that by bottling up their emotions they make the entire situation worse (I can think of at least 10, off the bat, that do this). I know I can't talk, I do the same thing a good percent of the time, but that's me. I care more about the welfare of my friends than my own so I'm allowed to be a hypocrite. - NERR!!
I guess if there's one message I can try to get out to anyone who might read this, it's don't be afraid to ask for help when you actually need help.
After a fair bit of thinking during a very boring day, I’ve just realised that I’m the type of girl who… (This is going to be pretty personal so just bear with me…or you know, just fuck off and don’t bother reading ^_^)
Gets on with guys a lot better than girls, they’re funnier and more understanding and accepting than girls.
Likes gaming a bit too much, you should see my library of games, it’s pretty damn impressive. I love games so much I’m even happy to sit and watch others play my games, in fact I actively encourage it…I love sharing my games! :D
Is a massive geek, I love computers, games, comics, anime, manga, and the internet….the list goes on too!
Can seem pretty laid back about most things to most people, but inside I can be freaking out about everything; I’ve got used to and pretty good at putting up a front. There are only a few people I’d ever trust to show my totally neurotic side to. (If that’s you, feel honoured ‘cause it means I love you!)
Takes insults to heart, not all the time but certain comments can reduce me to tears. Mainly the ones about my appearance/personality also sometimes the ones about me being stupid, that may seem overly sensitive to others but to me the comments aren’t jokes, they’re facts and it’s pretty upsetting hearing someone confirm what you already hate about yourself. I often wonder if/how anyone actually likes me.
Doesn’t have a religion, but who doesn’t care if others do. My mum is a Christian and I do get my “nice” factor from Christianity (being understanding, polite, friendly, and helpful, treating others how I’d want to be treated). This is simply because I honestly think they are good traits to have, the world would certainly be nicer if more people acted like that!
Has a serious passion for other cultures, I love travelling and I wish I got to travel more. I love seeing other cultures and learning other languages! I love flying too; it makes me pretty sad I don’t get to do a lot of it.
Loves music, I have a wide range of music taste and I’m always happy to be introduced to new things. I work more on a song basis than an artist basis, which confuses a few people when they ask who my favourite artists are. I’m very good with remembering lyrics, not so good at remembering band names and song titles, often I think I haven’t heard a band/song and later realise I have, which gets pretty difficult when people ask me if I’ve heard a certain song...
Always gets mistaken for being smart. Then people get to know me and hear the stupid things I come out with randomly…pretty soon everyone realises I’m pretty damn blonde at the best of times!
Loves pictures, I always have a camera on my person. I have a huge amount of professional equipment and there is nothing I love more than putting my walking boots on, throwing everything into a bag, driving to Thorndon Country Park and getting lost in the woods. Maybe not the safest thing ever, but whatever, I haven’t died yet!
Doesn’t see the point in marriage I can understand some people do, but personally I have never wanted to have a day where I wear a stupidly overpriced dress to a stupidly overpriced event, with a bunch of people looking at me and all for government approval of my relationship with someone. That’s more my idea of a nightmare, I have never been able to see myself getting married but maybe I think like that because of how my parents went about it all. Several of my relationships have gone pear shaped because guys apparently see me as “wife material", which scares the pants off me!
Loves children (not in a pervy way, before you start!), I am the oldest sibling/cousin in my family and essentially helped raise a little brother and 4 younger cousins. I volunteered at a church youth club for ages 3 – 5 for a few years and have had two work experiences at two nursery schools. It’s always baffled me how people can be afraid of children, they’re hilarious and adorable! …Though I can get freaked out fairly easily when anyone mentions me having children at some point in the future, especially if I’m in a “serious” relationship with someone at the time.
Is pretty immature, when you think about it! I mean, look above… afraid of commitment, afraid of the future, likes gaming and cartoons, easily amused, has a habit of staring into space, short attention span… How does anyone ever find me attractive?! Those are all terrible traits to have as a 22 year old! I’m basically a fully grown four year old!!
…Yup! This is what I’ve been thinking about all today, what boils down to how immature I am. I can’t stop thinking things, my brain is in overdrive and it’s driving me insane. I actually feel a lot better having spammed my thoughts because now they aren’t circling in my head anymore, time to sleep now maybe! :D
Bored doesn't cover it. Haven't "drawn" in a while. "Drew" a cat and a hamster (?).
VOILA. Now, back to being bored! :)