My honest chinese girlfriend

@HonestChineseGF

[myhonestchinesegirlfriend]

Me: Does this shirt look ok on me?

Wife: It's ok now. You are married.

[myhonestchinesegirlfriend]

I'm very passionate about my work. I know my shit. I like it. Do you know your shit?

[myhonestchinesegirlfriend]

Why don't you update the blog? I'm still funny. And you're still fat.

[myhonestchinesegirlfriend]

*At a dinner event with 10 people on the table*

GF: Are you full?

Me: No

GF: You look full.

[myhonestchinesegirlfriend]

We have to go back to the optimist this weekend to pickup your new glasses.

[myhonestchinesegirlfriend]

"Yes"

[myhonestchinesegirlfriend]

Waiter brings the check and 8 small mint candies for me and my GF. Me: He gave me 6 mints. Wtf? GF: You look like you love sugar, it's your fault.

[myhonestchinesegirlfriend]

It looks like you ate a lot in London.

After coming back from a week-long business trip.

[myhonestchinesegirlfriend]

I bought a beanbag with the colors of my country. World cup stuff. Sadly, it looked like shit.

Me: Look at it! Damn This is the ugliest thing in the room.

GF: You are the ugliest thing in this room. In all rooms.

[myhonestchinesegirlfriend]

I was into handsome boys before.

Talking about her life before meeting me.

[myhonestchinesegirlfriend]

*eating at a very nice restaurant, one of my favorites* Chef, standing next to our table: This is a roasted portobello mushroom served with buttered rice and crispy parma ham, and with a bit of white truff-

*GF tries* GF: This tastes like microwave food.

[myhonestchinesegirlfriend]

*Invited my boss over, for dinner at my home* Me: The next quarter is gonna be very interesting. Many positive changes are lined up. Boss: Absolutely. GF (bored): My period was late 2 months ago. Boss: ? Me: *wtf face*

GF: I thought that was interesting.

[myhonestchinesegirlfriend]

*on exchanging money on the sidewalk* GF: I think that is muffin business. Me: What? GF: Chinese Muffin. Me: You mean... Mafia? GF: Yes. That.

[myhonestchinesegirlfriend]

GF: This Friday night is my friend's birthday. Me: Ah. Umm, is it ok if I stay home? GF: Of course. You are not invited. They don't like you.

[myhonestchinesegirlfriend]

*watching the Oscars ceremony* GF: Wow, those actors look so beautiful. So perfect. It's almost like they are fake. Me: What about me. GF: You are VERY real.

[myhonestchinesegirlfriend]

A visit to my Honest Chinese Girlfriend's hometown.

Hello readers. :) Recently we took some time off and went back to my girlfriend's hometown. Here is a post I wrote on Medium, in case you're wondering what our real life is like: Chinese traditions: Meeting your girlfriend's family

Thanks to everyone for your support and love in this space. More posts to come soon. -M

[myhonestchinesegirlfriend]

*at her hometown during the Spring Festival* Me: Babe, what is this? GF: Meatballs Me: They forgot the meat GF: Oh. Then Riceballs