I wook up in da bedroll de next day. Scar waz gone. I got up and puto n a blak tight sexah jckt that was all ripped at da end. There wuz red stuff going up da fornt and da bak and it came up 2 my knew.
There wuz a slit in my suit lik I had been attacked by mutantz. I pot on dirty gloves and blak combat bo-ots. Suddenly… … Vormin cocked on da borken door. I hopened it.
“Hi Shtelrok.” he said. “Gezz wut u have 2 cum 2 Unkle Yard’s place.”
“Ok.” I said in a deprezzd voice. I had wanted to fuk Scar or maybe lessen to hardbass. I came anyway.
“So what the fuck happened 2 Termo and Lookash?” I asked Vromin flirtily.
“I fucking tortured them.” he answered in a statistic way. “They r in Pripyat now, lol.”
I laughed evilly.
“Where r Scare and Bloodsucre?” I muttered.
“Dey are xcused from stalking 2day.” Vermin moaned sexily. “Rite now they are watching Cheburashka.”
We went into da office. Unkle Yarf was there. He was wearing a goffik blak suit that was all ripped all over it, kinda lik mine. He wuz snorting anabiotics. He took out the Svarog detector.
“Streloke, you will have to do anozzer session now. Also I need u to get me da cure 4 being adikited.” he said sadly. “Good luck. Fangz!”
And then… … I jumped into the Anomly again. Suddenly I looked around… … … I was in da Rokie Village eating bred. It was mourning. I was sitting next to Slutan. On a campfire was a tall gottik man wif short blak hair, pail skin and dark eyes wering a Sunrise suit and blak miltry bootes. He looked just like zombified stalker. I noticed… … he was drinking a vodka.
“Whose he!11” I asked.
“Oh, datz Wolfe.” Slutan said. “He’s da Rokies teacher… Selok?”
“Yah?” I asked.
“Did u know dat Firelake is playing in The 100 Rads tonight? And they r showing The Exercise in da tv b4 dat.”
“Yah?”
“Well……. want 2 go 2 da contort and watch da movie wif me?”
“oh my fuking god!1” I shooted sadly. “Shud we get u to Doc, bitch?”
“Hel no!” he said. “Lizzen Stretlok, I need ur help. Nex tim u go bak in tim, do u fink u kod ask Mitka Dynamite 4 sum help?”
“Sure I said sadly. I went outside the door. Scar was there!111 He wuz wearing a big blak stolker suit which wuz his trench coat.
“Hey Sexxy.” I said.
“How’d it go Stelok?” he asked in his voice was so sexy and low kinda like a snork’s growl when they attack.
“Fine.” I reponded. We stared 2 go bak in2 da bar.
“How far did u go wif Slutan?” Scar asked jealously.
“Not 2 far, lol.” I borked.
“Will you hav to do it with him?” Scar asked angstily.
“I hop not 2 far!111” I shouted angrily. Den I felt bad 4 shooting at him. I said sorry. We frenched.
“What happened to Termo?” I growled.
“U will see.” Scar giggled mistressly. He opened a door… … Termo and Loocash werz there!11 Vermin waz pokering dem by staging dem wif a blak nife.
“NOOOO PLZ!111” Lookaz bagged as Vornin started 2 suk his blood. I laffed statistically. I tok some photons of him and Termo bing torqued. (ok I no dis iz men but fink abot it ppl dey r pervs nd Termo trid 2 rap dem and newat sadiztz rok haz any 1 seen srhak arak 3 lolz). We took sum of Temro’s blod den Scare and I went bak 2 our warehouz. We sato n my goffik blak bedroll. My cloves were kinda drity so I poto n a blak leather outfit fingie like da 1 bnadits use (if u haven’t herd of it den FUK U!111). I puto n some blak combat bootz. Skar put on “squat party” by Gopnik McBlyat. Den… … … we storted 2 take of each otherz clozez. I tok of his shit nd he had a six-pak, lolz. We started 2 mak out lik always. He pot his wetness in my u-know-what sexily. I gut an orgy.
“Oh Scar!11111!1 Oh mi fuking gud Scar!111” I screemed passively as he gota n eructation.
“I luv u SteTretlok.” he whispred sexily and den we fel aspleep lol.
“Hi.” I said flirtily. “Im Strelok Mark’ed One da new rookie.” I shok my pale handz wif their blak noil polish wif him.
“Da name’s Sultan.” he said. “But u kan call me Slutan. Datz ma nam”
We shok hands. “Well come on don’t stand there.” Slutan said. I followed him. “Hey Slutan… do u happen to be a fan of Kino?” (sinz Hard Bass School and Gopnik McBlyat dont exist yet den) I asked.
“Oh my fucking god, how did u know?” Sultan gasped. “actually I like them a lot.”
“omg me too!” I replied happily.
“guess what they have a concert in The 100 Reds.” slutan whispered.
“100 Reds?” I asked.
“yeah that’s what they used to call it in these time before it bécame The 100 Rad in 2011.” he told me sekrtivly. “and theres a really cool vendor called-“
“Mitka Dynamite!” I finished, happy again.
He froned confusedly. “noo hes called Beard.” He smiled skrtvli again “then in 2012 his associate Mitka went his own way.” he moaned.
“ohh.” now everything was making sense for me. “so is sidorobitch around?” I shouted.
“uh-huh.” he looked at his black nails. “im a loner”
“OMfF SHME TOO!” I SHRIEDKED.
“u go to this vilege?” he asked.
“yah that’s why im here im NEW.” I SMELLED HAPPili.
Suddenly Sedorobix ran by and started shredding at us angrily. “NO TALKING IN FRON OF MY BUNKER!” he had short blonde hair and was wearing an Adidas tracksuit. “STUPID GOFFS!”
sultan rolled his eyes. “his so mean to us goffs just becose we’re not gopnik enoff for hom.”
I turned around angriy. “actually I fink mebe its becos ur da bangit lord.”
“wtf?” he asked angrily.
“oh nuffin.” I said sweetly.
then suddenlyn… … … the floor opened. “OMFG NO I SCEAMED AS I FEEL DOWN. everyone looked At ME weirdly.”
“hey where r u goin?” sultan asked as I fell.
I got out of the hole n it was bak in the abandoned house where Unkle Yard was. sedorbitch wuz dere. “Sidoroditch I think I just met u.” I said.
Umple Yar came in. “hey dis my place wait wtf stelrok what da hell r u doing?”
”um.” I looked at him.
“oh yeaH I forgot bout that.”
“wth how?” I screamed forgetting he was from another faction for a second. but hes a goff so its ok.
unkle yard looked sad. “um I was taking anabiotics.” he started to cry black tears of depression. sedorobitch didn’t know about them.
“hey r u crying tears of blood?” he asked curiously, tuching a tear.
“fuck off!” we both said and sedorobitch took his hand away.
unkle yard started crying again while squatting, sobbing limpid tears. “omfg strlok… …. I think im addicted to anabiotics.”
“I always knew u were on Slutan’s side, you sun of a bitca (bufy rox!111)-“ Vormin said 2 Termo.
“No I’m not I was teaching them somefing!1” Tremo clamed.
“Oh fucking yeah?” I took some blak Monolithserum out of my poket and gave it to Termo. He made Tremo dirnk it. He did angrily. The Levedreg took out a tape recorder and started playing it while he yelled curses to Tremo. Then Unkle Yar and Lebedec made us get out wif them whie Tremor told his secrets. Levebed took Boldsucker and Scare to Doc after thanking me a million times. Uncle Yard took me to an abandoned warehouse. Now I wuz going to go back in time to sedouce Slutna. Old caution signals were all over. Ghost, Fang and Strider came too. G’host gave me a blak bag from Mitka Dynamite’s wares.
“Whatz in da bag?” I asked Unkle Yarr.
“U will c.” he said. I opened thee bag. In it was a sexy tite low-smut black protection suite. It had red korset stuff and there was a slit up da leg. I put it on. My frendz helped me puto n the black sphere helmet Fang had chosen. Strider and Fang helped me puto n black eyeliner and red face paint.
“You look fucking kawaii, bitch.” G’host said.
“Fangs.” I said.
“Ok now you’re going to go back in tim.” said Unkle Yarr. “U will have to do it in a few sessionz.” He gave me a blak gun. I put it in my belt. Then he gave me a black Svarog defector. “After an hour use the detector to go back here.” Unncle Yard said. Then he and G’host stood aside to reveal an anomly in front of me. Every1 went around it.
“Good luk!1” Everryone shooted. Fang and Strider sat in a proper slav squat. Then… I jumped sexily in2 da Anomaly.
Suddenly I was in front of teh Swamp. In front of me wuz one of da sexiest goth gopniks I had ever seen. He was wering blak hair, kinda like Gorbachev only black. He had dark eyes like a mutant and pale whit skin. He wuz wearing a blak ripped trench coat wif military boots. It was… … … Stulna!111
PS: We’re going into this fucking time travel mess! If any of you have suggestions or ideas, please, please, send me a message or something!
“No!11” we screamed sadly. Tremo stated loafing meanly. He took out a kamera anvilly. Then… … … he came tords Skare!1! He took sum artefacts out of his pocket. He put da artefacts around Scar and lit a candle.
“What the fuck r u doing!” I shooted arngrily. Termo laughed meanly. He polled down his pants. I gasped- there was a stalker mark on his you-know-wut!11!
He searched in his jacked and a nife came out. He gave da knife 2 me.
“U must stab Broodsucker.” he said to me. “If u don’t then I’ll rap Scar!1”
“No you fucking bastrad!1”I yielded.
But den Scar looked at me sadly with his evil goffik-gopnik red eyes dat looked so depressant and sexy. He looked exactly like a pentragram (lol geddit koz im goffic) between an irridiated man and a bnadit. But then I looked at Bloodsucker and he looked so smexy too wif his goffik black hair. I thought of da time when we screwed and the time I did it with Scar and Sidorobitch came and the tame where Scar almost commited suicide and Bloodsucker wuz so sportive.
Temor laughed angrily. He started top rey to Slutan. He started to an incapacitation around the arteefacs whipping Scar and Bloodsucker. Suddenly an idea I had. I clozd my eyes and using my vampire powers I sent a telapthetic message to Sker and Bloodsuker so they would destruct Termo.
“Sidhorobitch wil get u!” Scar shooted.
“Yah just wait ubtil da Evologits find out!11” Bloodscuker yelled. Meanwhile I took out my gun.
“You ridiculus dondderhed!111” Termo yielded. He took off all of Skir’s clothes. Just as he was about to rape him… … …
“Urod!” I shited pointing my wound. Teemo scremed and started running around da room screming. Meanwhile I grabed my blak PDA and sent a txt 2 Boromir. I stopped yelling urod.
“You dunderhed!111 Im going to kill-“ shooted Tremor but suddenly Voronin came.
Termo put he whip behind his bak. “Oh hello Vor I wuz just showing them sumthing.” he lied. But suddenly Levedes and Unkle Yarp came in2 da room and they and Voromin took the whip from Termo. The Inkle Yar said “Come on Strelok let’s go.”
“Oh my satan!!” we screamed as we jumped out of da bedrool. Termo and Guide started to shoot at us angrily.
“CUM NOW!1!” Gayde yielded. We did guiltily. We left the place putting on our clothes. Termo garbed the caramel and put it in his pocket.
“Hey what the fuck!111” Bloodsucker shooted angrily.
“Yeah buster what the fuck are u going to do with the fucking camera?” Scar demonded all protective, looking at me Longle with his gothic red eyes. “Look, Sidhorovik noes your little secret and if u do dis again, then u will go to Pirpayat. So give back da camera!1111”
Hahahaha the Ergologists thinks he is crazy there is no way dey wil believe him. Termo laughed meanly.
“Yes so shut your mputh you inlosent fools!” yelled Guid. He made us cum into a weird bunker with a metal fence all around it. There were all these werid tolos in it. Scar started to cry all sexy and sexitive (geddit koz hes a sexbom lol).
I started to cry tearz of blood (it hapnz when ur too irratiated ok so fok u!1). Bloodsucker took out a black honkerchief and started to wipe my red eyes.
And then…. …. he and Termo both took out guns like they were using magic. They started to shoot each other angrily. Non of the ballots gut on eachodder yet. I took out my own gun.
“Pizdec!” I shouted. Termo stated 2 scram he dropd da gun. But it was too late. Both of them had runo ut of ballets. I STOPPED DA BALLOT. Guidee screamed for every1 to stop. He took out a box of tolos. Den he said “OK Termo I’m going 2 go now.” He left. Tremo started to laugh evilly. Bloodsuckre started to cry.
“It’s ok Stelrok.” said Scar. “Evergreen will be all right. Remember the cideo u took of Termo.”
Temo laughed again. And then… … … he took out some whips!1!1111
We went into da blak house. The wallz were charred blak with remains of ashes and heads of mutants hung in the wallz.
A big burning barrel was in the middle. I was sorrounded by boar pelts. There were three chairs made of bones with real skullz in dem. I wuz wearing a blak suit wif purple stuff on it, broken sucks and a black leather thong underneath.
I sat down one of da chairs dispersedly. So did Skare and Bloodsucker.
“Are you okay?” Blodsuckr asled potting his albastard han don mine. He was wearing black nail polish. I was wearing blak nail polish with droplets of blood over it.
“Yah I guess.” I said sadly. Skare also pot his hand on mine sexily. I smiled sadly. “The problema is… …. I have to seduce Slutan. Ill have 2 go bak in time.”
Scar started to cry sadly. Bloodsucker hugged him.
“Itz oka Srelok.” he said finally. “But what about me? Ur not gonna brake up or anyfing, are you?”
“Of coarse not!” I gasped.
“Really?” he asked.
“Sure.” I said.
We frenched sexily. Bloodsucker looked at us longingly.
Then… … … I took off Scar’s shrif and seductvely took of his pants. He was hung lik a stallone. He had replaced the Bloodsucker tattoo that said Stelrok on it. Black roses were around it. I gasped. He lookd exactly lik he wuz irradiated. Bloodsucker took a vido camera (I had sed it wuz ok b4).
I took of my clothes den we were in 4 da rid of r lif.
We started frenching as we climbed into the pelts. He put his spock in my you-know-what and passively we did it.
“I love you Sretlok. Oh let me feel u I need 2 feel u.” he screamed as we gota n orgasm. We watched Bloodsicker filmed everything perfectly. Suddenly… … … …
Every1 in the room stated to cry happly- I had saved them. Skare, Levedeg, Vornin bond Bloodsucker all came to hug me. Doc started to give them medicine.
“Cum on Strelok.” said Unxle Yarb. He was wearing a gothic blak leader jacked with real vampir blood on it and fucking black platinum boots. “I have to tell you the fucking perdition.”
I locked at Vromin, Ledebek, Skars and Bloodsucker. They nodded.
I smelled happily and went into a dark room. I had changed Uncle Yat took out some black files. He started to look into a black crucible PDA. He said… “Selok, I see drak times are near.” He said badly. He peered into da scream. “You see, you must go back in time.” He took out a Svarog detector like Bloodsuker had. “When Slutan was in the Zone before he became a powerful bnadit he gut his hearth borken. Now do you fink he would still become Stulan if he was in love?” I shook my head. “U must go back in time and sedouce him. It is the only way. If he is still evil then you must kill him. You can come to my place tomorrow and you can do it.”
“Okay.” I said sadly. We did militery salut. I went outside again sadly.
“What fucking happened?” asked Scar and Bloodsucker.
“Yeah what happened?” asked Burer, Fang and G’host?
I was about to tell them butt every1 was there. They were celebrating Vornin and Lebedes being fond. Everyone was proud of me butt I jut wonted 2 talk 2 Scar. They were cheesing my name and some nosy stalker were there trying to interview Sedorobitch. A banner was put up. Lotz of fucking rookies were there oviously tring 2 b goffik wering the Monolith signo n their handz- despitre them not having akshelly seen it. Even Lassie looked happy. A blak and red cake had been brought out.
I puto n my Ghillie coke with Bloodsucker and Scar and we sneaked outside 2gether.
A few mutates later Bloodsucker came 2 da tree. He was wearing a blak leather jackson, tactical pants and a gasmask.
“Hi Bloodsucker.” I said flirtily as I started to sob. Scare hugged me sexily tryont to comfort me. I started to cry tears of blood and then told them what happened.
“Oh fuck it!” Bloodsucker shouted angrily. He4 started to cry sadly. “What fucking dick did that!”
“I don’t know.” I said. “Now come on we have 2 tell Sidorbitch.”
We ran out of the tree and in2 da rookie village. Sedorobich was sitting in his office.
“Sire are leaders have been shot!” Scar said while we wipped sum tears from his white face. “Strelok had a vision in a dreem.”
Sidorodick started to cockle. “Hahahaha! And How due u aspect me to know Strelok’s not divisional?”
I glared at Sidorovich.
“Look motherfucker.” he said angrily as Sidorovish gasped (c is dat toot of crakter). “U know very well that I’m not decisional. Now get some fucking ppl out ther to look for Vornonim and Lebadef- pornto!”
“Okay.” he said in a intimated voice. “Were are they?”
I fought about it. Then all of a sudden... ... “Miltary Worehouses.” I said. I told him which part. He went and called some people and did some stuff. After a few mistunes he came back and said people were going out looking for them. After a while someone called him again. He said that they had been found. Scar, Bloodsucker and I all left the bunker together. I went with Scar to wait at the bar while Bloodsucker went to slit his wrists in one of the abandoned buildings. We looked at each other’s gothic, depressed eyes. Then, we kissed. Suddenly Vronin and Levebek came in on stretchers... .... ... and Uncle Yard was behind them!1
I was so excited. I fellowed Scar wandering if we where going 2 do it again. We went outside and then we went into Scar’s old lada.
“Strelok what the fuck did Uncle Yarg say.” whispered Scar potting his gothic whit hand with bvlak nail polish on mine.
“He said he would tell me what the visions meant tomorrow.” I grumbled in a sexy voice. He took out a heroin cabaret and spiked it, and gave it to me to spork. He started to drive the car into a tree. We went under is shadow. Scar put on some Hardbass School.
“Секс, квас, хардбас
Купчага - Парнас,
Долби хб Москва” the song went on sexily. We started tiling of each other’s cloves fervently. He took of my blak thing and my black leather bar. I took of his black boxers. Then... he put his trobbing you-know-what in my tool sexily.
“OMFG Scar Scar!” I screamed having an orgism. We stated frenching passively. Suddenly... I fell asleep. I started having a dream. In it a black guy was shooting two goffik men with balding black hair.
“No! Please don’t fucking kill us!1” they pleaded but he just kept shooting them. He ran away in a rusted car.
“No! Oh my fucking god!11” I shouted in a scared voice.
“Streloke what’s wrong?” Scar asked me as I woke up opening my icy dark eyes.
I started to cry and tears of blood went down my face. I told Scar to call Bloodsucker. He did it with his blak PDA. Butt the worst thing was who the ppl who were shot in the dream where... Lebedav and Voronim!111
Real talk guys: I have the next chapter ready to post except for a “tiny” detail I need help with, ok? Because we’re nearing the fucking time travel plotline (generous of me to call it that, I know :v) and I need ideas of who to put in the following roles:
- Lucian / Luscious
- Serious / Series
- Jamez / Samaro
- Hedwig (yes, at some point Hedwig is a person instead of a bird and has a fling with Satan… I still want to say Owl is Hedwig just to be pun-y X’D)
FOR THE LOVE OF FUCK GIVE ME IDEAS I BEG YOU! Be as outlandish as you want, this project is weird and silly enough that it will only be a good suggestion, really :’D
Ok, after some deliberation, I picked Ganja the stoner, Lebedev, and Father Valerian for the roles of Serious, Lucian and Jamez. IF ANYONE HAS OTHER SUGGESTIONS PLEASE SPEAK UP, I live for additional ideas!!
Real talk guys: I have the next chapter ready to post except for a “tiny” detail I need help with, ok? Because we’re nearing the fucking time travel plotline (generous of me to call it that, I know :v) and I need ideas of who to put in the following roles:
- Lucian / Luscious
- Serious / Series
- Jamez / Samaro
- Hedwig (yes, at some point Hedwig is a person instead of a bird and has a fling with Satan... I still want to say Owl is Hedwig just to be pun-y X’D)
FOR THE LOVE OF FUCK GIVE ME IDEAS I BEG YOU! Be as outlandish as you want, this project is weird and silly enough that it will only be a good suggestion, really :’D
Well we arrived at Freedom next so I got to ask Unkle Yard about the visions.
“Konnichiwa everybody come in.” said Unkle Yashot in Japanese. He smiled at me with his gothic black face paint. He’s the coolest veteran stalker ever. he had short dead black hair with blood red tips and red eyes. (hs mom woz a vampire. He’s also half Japanese so he speaks it and everyfing. he n g’host get along grate). He’s not very young anymore but sitll cool. 2day he was wearing a black leather jacket with red accents and a hole ripped Wing of Fredom suit. We went inside the black room with pastors of Cheburashka. I raced my hand. I was wearing some naie Polish with glitter on it.
“What it is Strelok?” he asked. “Hey I love ur nail polish where’d u get it, Mitka Dynamite?”
“Yeah.” I answered. All the rookies who didn’t know who MD was gave me weird looks. I gave them the middle finger. “Well I have to talk to you about some fings. When do you want to due it?”
“Ho about now?” he asked.
“OK.” I asid.
“OK newbies fucking dismissed every1.” Uncle Yard said and he waited for every1 go. “Except for you Hawaiian.” he pointed at Hawaiian and sum of his friends. “Please do some exorcize (geddit) and bring me vodka.”
“OK I’m having lotz of visions.” I said in a worried voice. I’m so worried is Scar gong 2 die.
Well he gave me a black PDA to lock in. I looked at it.
“What do you c?” he asked.
“I said I see a black gothic skull and a Monolith.”
Suddenly there was a knock at the door. I looked at it. It was Scar. He was looking really sexy wearing a black leather facet, a black gothic protection suite and black Congress boots.
“Okay you can go now, see ya cunt.” said Uncle Yashot.
“Bye bitch.” I said waving.
I went to Scar and Bloodsucker was sitting next to him. We both followed Scare together and I was so exhibited.
The door opened and Proffesor Zuckharov and Skool stomped out angrily. The Sidorbich and School sawed us.
“MR. WAY WHAT THE BEEP ARE YOU DOING!” Skool shouted angrily. Sidorovich blared at him.
“Oops he made a mistake!” he corrupted him. “He mean hi everybody cum in!”
Well we all came in angrily. So did all the other stalkers. I sat between Nimble and Scar and opposite to G’host. Cold and Novikov started 2 make some morbid jokes. They both looked so goffic. I eight some stale bread and drank som blood from a cup. Then I herd someone shooting angrily. I looked behind me it was… … Bloodsucker! He and Scar were shooting at each other.
“Bloodsuker, Scare WTF?” I asked.
“You fucking bustard!” Yelled Scar at Bloodsucker. “I want to shit next to him!1”
“No I do!” shouted.
“No he doesn’t fucking like u, you son of a bitch!” yelled Scar.
“No fuck you motherfucker he laves me not you!” shouted Bloodsucker. And then….. he jumped on Scar! (no not in dat way u perv) They started to fught and beat up each other.
Sidorobitch yelled at them but they didn’t stop. All of a sudden… …. a terrible man with red eyes and no hair came running on his feet. He had no hair and was wearing a tan trench coat. All the glass in window he jumped thu didn’t fall apart cause there was no glass. Hawaiian that fucking prep started to cry. Bloodsucker and Scar stopped fighting… I shopped eating… Everyone gasped. Da room fell silent… …. …. Slutna!
“Stelrok… Selok…” Darth Valer sed evilly in his raspy voice. “Thou havfe failed ur mission. Now I shall kill thou and I shall kill Bloodsucker as well. If thou does not kill him before then I shall kill Scar too!”
“Plz don’t make me kill him plz!” I begged.
“No!” he laughed crudely. “Kill him, or I shall kill him anyway!” Then he ran away cackling.
I bust tinto tears. Scar and Bloodsucker came to contort mer. Suddenly my eyes rolled up so they looked all cool and gothic. I had a visión were I saw some lightning flash and then Stulna coming to kill Scar while Scar slit his wrists in a depressed way.
“No!” I screamed sexily. Suddenly I locked up and stopped having the vision.
“Strelok Strelok aure you alright?” asked Scar in a worried voice.
“Yeah yeah.” I said sadly as I got up.
“Everifing’s all right Sretlok.” Said Bloodsucker all sensitive.
“No it’s not!” I shouted angrily. Tearz of blood went down my face. “OMFG what if I’m getting possessed like in Da Ring 2!”
“Its ok dud.” said G’host. “Maybe u should ask Ungle Yard about what the visions mean though.”
All day everyone talked about the Ecology. Well anyway, I woke up next day. I was in my bedroll so I shimmied out. I was wearing black patchy leather suit. Then I gasped.
Standing in front of me where... ... ... Ghost, Bloodsucker, Burer, Scar, Fang and Strider!
I opened my crimson eyes. Fang was wearing a tight black exosuit with bloody splashes all over it. Under that he wart black torn pants and black gothic boots attached to the top. Bloodsucker was wearing a simple stalker jersey and black pants and Vans. Scar was wearing a black HBS t-shirt and blak jeans and a leather trench coat. He looked just likee death incarnate, and almost as fucking sexy. G’host was wearing a tight black loose shirt that he had ripped so it showed of all his clearage with a dirty jacket that said ‘blyat’ on the back. Poltergeist (who is Nimble) was there too. He was wearing a ripped gothic white jacket with ripped stuff all over it and a black sweater thing and black pointy boots. So wereCold and Novikov. It turns out Clear Sky’s faction leader was a vampire. He committed suicide by slitting his wrists with a razor after angering the Monolith. They all got so depressed that they became goffik gopniks and converted to Stanism.
“OMFG” I yielded as I jumped up. “Why the fuck are u all here?”
“Setrlok something is really fucked up.” Scar said.
“OK but I need to put my fucking clothes on first.” I shouted angrily.
“It’s all right. We have to go now and you look kawaii anyway. Your so fucking beautiful. “ Scar said in a sexy voice.
“Oh all right.” I said smiling. “But you have to tell me why your being all erective.”
“I will I will.” he said.
So I just put on some black eyeliner, black and red facepaint. Then I came. We all went outside the Rocky Village and looked from behind the fence. A fucking prept called Hawaiian from Freedoom was standing next to us. He was wearing a weed print shirt and military pants so we put our middle fingers at him. Inside the bunker hole we could see Sidorvik. Sukharov was there shouting at Sidorovich. Skull was there too.
“THIS CANNOT BE!” he shouted angtily. “THE VILLAGE MUST BE CLOSED!”
“THE BANG-IT LORD IS PLANNING TO KILL THE ROOKIES!” yelled Smutarov.
“YOU ARE NOT FIT TO BE LEADING THIS ANY LONGER!” yelled Skul. “YOU ARE TOO OLD AND YOUR ALZHEIMERS IS DANGEROUS! YOU MUST RETRY OR SLUTAN WILL KILL ALL THE ROOKIES!”
“Very well.” Sidorobic said angrily. “Butt we cannot do this. We can’t close the village. There is only one person who is capable of killing Slutan and he is in the village, And his name is... ... ... Strelok Mark’ed One Shorty Way.”
Scar, Cold, Novikov, Nimble, Fang, Bloodsucker and G’host looked at each other… I gasped.
Normal chapter update coming soon! But in the meantime, @grogulec hinted that Semen Connoisseur would fit well in the Call of Enoby verse, and I immediately thought: I gotta write this! XDD
Slutsky & Friends
Major Degtyarev, better known as Bloodsucker lately, had a secret he was keeping from his friends Strelok and Scar. He knew they had their reasons to dislike military preps, but he regularly met up with Private Slutsky when Stelok and Scare were busy doing-u-know-what.
Anyway, it saddened him when he found Slutsky in the company of another guy. He was tall, wearing a baklava that covered part of his face (basically like bnadits in da game) and a long tan trench coat but it was obvious he wasn’t a stalker. It was... ... one of Slutan’s men!
“Slutsky! What are u doing with this idiot?” He asked worriedly for his friend’s safety.
“EXCUSE ME!” said the bandit. “I’m nut a idiot, I’m a Semen Connoisseur.”
“He’s my friend ok? We’re starting a club.” Slutsky said concertedly.
“A club? what for?” Degtyrev was intrigued about what could unit a bnadit and a soldier.
“If ur friend Stelrok can has his stupid goffik posse, we’re gunna be the Thirsty Whores club.”
“Is it because of the jokes you get for being named Private Slutsky (Experienced)?” Digityarev asked curiously.
“Yeah,” said Slutsky in a sexah way. “But they’re right.” he giggled.
“And your first choice was him?” Deg-Degtyarev said hurt, pointing at the bandit. He had a good idea abut how he got his name, but he was jealous.
“You’re running with Selok’s gang, I thought you didn’t lik me anymore.” Slutsky cried. “Besides, you changed your nickname.”
“What was your name?” Semen Connoisseur asked him.
“I used to be known as Ballsucker, not Bloodsuker,” Degtyarev confessed.
“Why?” Semen Connoisseur exclaimed.
“Because I love sucking on balls.” he giggled.
Slutsky and Semen exchanged a pleased look and nodded.
“You can join the club too if you want,” Slutsky said wisely. “We’ll meet every Friday night on the Shevchenko.”
Degtyarev accepted, because if his friend insisted 2 keep the company of a bandit, he might as well join to make sure he was safe, yes. And meeting in an abandoned ship sounded cool. It was time to let a new power trio to be born: Slutsky, Ballsucker and Semen Connoisseur.
Later we all went in the village. Scar was crying in da campfire. “Scar are u okay?” I asked in a gothic voice.
“No I’m not u fuking bitch!”” he shouted angrily. He stated to run out of the place in a suicidal way. I stated to cry cuz I was afraid he would commit suicide.
“It’s ok Stelrok.” said Bloodsucker comfortly. “I’ll make him feel better.”
“U mean you’ll go fuck him won’t you!” I shouted angrily. The I ran 2 get Scar. Bloodsucker came too.
“Scar please come!” he began to cry. Tears of blood came down his pail face. I wuz so turned on cuz I love sensitive bi guyz. (if ur a homophone den fuk of!)
And then... ... ... ... we herd sum footsteps! Bloodsucker got out his blak ghillie cloak. We both gut under it. We saw the guy patrolling the perimeter Lassie, shouting angrily with a flashlight in his hand.
“WHOSE THERE!” he shouted angrily. We saw Noah come. He went unda da ghillie cloke and started to bark loudly.
“IS ANY1 THERE!” yelled Lassie.
“No fuck u you preppy poser sun of a fucking bich!” Bloodsucker said under his breast in a disgusted way.
“EXCUS ME! EXCUS ME WHO SED DAT!” yelled Lassie. Den he heard Noah bark. “Noah is der any1 unda da cloak!” he asked. Noah nodded. And then... ... Bloosuckr frenched me! He did it jus as... ... . Lassie was taking of da cloak!1
“WHAT DA-“ he yelled but it was 2 late cuz now we were ruining away frum him. And den we saw Scar crying and bustin in2 tearz and slitting his rists outside of da village.
“Scar!” I cried. “R u okay?”
“I guess though.” Scar weeped. We went back to our bedrolls frenching each other. Scar and I decided to read some notes we found from ded stalkers in our PDAs (c isn’t da deprezzin) on the gothic red bedroll together. As I wuz about 2 load the text, my eyes rolled up and suddenly I had a vision of something that was happening now. There was a shout in the night and Sakharope and da Ecology walked into the village!1
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