Drew this for a friend, I can’t believe I’ve never drawn them out before 💔🥹
Aqua Utopia|海の底で記憶を紡ぐ
cherry valley forever

tannertan36
Keni
Misplaced Lens Cap

Love Begins

Andulka

#extradirty
No title available
Sade Olutola
Stranger Things

Product Placement
taylor price
Lint Roller? I Barely Know Her
Cosimo Galluzzi
Show & Tell
The Stonewall Inn
No title available

ellievsbear
YOU ARE THE REASON
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@myjellyfishmiko
Drew this for a friend, I can’t believe I’ve never drawn them out before 💔🥹
Still cooking. Love how the fabric of Y/N's nightgown came out~
Hikaru 💙
just thinking about how being Simon's wife would fix us all.
he's patient and gentle. only firm with you when you're in over your head and being a stubborn little shit. he knows trauma and what it does to people, especially himself, so he swears to never be an ounce of what his parents were.
he makes enough money for you to live a life of leisure. you'll never need to work again unless it's something you really want to do. vacations are scarce, but always private and intimate. usually, a cabin or island where he knows you two are hidden from the public.
aaand he's a total softie on the inside—sometimes the outside, but he'd have to kill you if you told anyone. he has little routines with you, small gestures or micro expressions reserved for just you. always gives your hand squeezes in public that mean different things (or under the desk when he's uniformed).
also, the big dick on the regular but that's obvious, i fear
I MISSED YOU KÖNIG
this is inspired by @machveil ‘s writing. please check out their blog, they have SUCH detailed writing and amazing work. they are so talented, please go follow them!!
warnings : really fluffy
- husband!könig cones home from a sudden deployment, tired and stressed. you take care of him (not nsfw)
Meet the Parents
König's parents are super straightforward, so Austrian.
The two of you had been in a relationship for some time now and so you decided, it was finally time for you to meet the parents.
You're on a short sabbatical, staying over at their place in the summer time and you must say it is lovely. Austria is so scenic, the food is good, the weather delightful, all in all you thought this was going to be a lovely trip.
It was your third day there when you came down for breakfast, his mother looking up from her paper.
"So, you are trying for a baby?"
You eyes widen as you stutter out a response.
"W-what, no... umm, nein, sorry?"
"Ah, I only ask because you have ze sex many times during the days, the evenings... the mornings."
You bring your hands to your face, feeling it burning up.
As if just on time, König walks in, he looks at you, "hm?" he practically grunts as he towels off his hair.
You can't bring yourself to say words, only a squeak, you want to curl up in a hole and die.
König's father looks totally unbothered, sipping his coffee, leaning on the breakfast bar, typically a man of few words himself.
"You know, we thought he was a homosexual ever since ze incident..." You tune out the words as König's father adds his own two cents.
Well, isn't this just... lovely.
"She'll be right here in my arms so in love"
I was listening to Right Here In My Arms by HIM and drew this cause it was getting on my nerves
He's a man who loves spoiling and lifting you, you're his Schatz, aren't you?
Have a good week if you're reading this ^^
Goblin Mode Daddy König
I’m gonna be honest folks, König doesn’t stop being a goblin when he has kids. He’s a good dad, don’t get me wrong, but he’s a bit of a nightmare.
Art from This Post
Thankfully, König is a good father and husband. He’ll clean up after the little ones, he’ll take shifts when caring for them (especially in the first year), he’ll go so far as to take a weekend to be with the kids so you can rest. He does expect you to pull your weight, kids are a choice and a lifestyle when you have them. He wants you to care for them as a good parent would.
However, there are times where König is a little… Curious with children. Not in a bad way, in more a ‘Bro you’re kinduva dick’ sort of way. Not malicious to a point of harming a child, no never. But he’s a dick.
So, when König goes on walks with his kids he’ll put them up on his shoulders if they get tired. He really wants them to love nature as much as he does, of course! He wants them to love the woods and forests and to embrace the world around them. This also means he takes them tent camping and when they complain about not having anything to do he’ll tell them to find ways to entertain themselves. He won’t keep them busy all the time; they need to learn what to do with themselves when they have freetime. This also means that when they come up asking him to entertain them when he’s napping, he’ll wake up, grunt, then turn over and go back to bed. They’ll learn that bothering dad when napping typically doesn’t go well.
The other delight of König is when he’s playing games with them. He’s determined to teach them self defense. It’s very important! What he doesn’t expect is for his kids to get in trouble at school for using some of these techniques on their bullies. He’s not mad, just a bit sheepish when he’s called in and has to explain that no, they didn’t do it out of nowhere, actually he has been the one teaching them self defense so, you know, sorry about that.
König is great when watching kids. It’s just that he does it in his own way. He’ll actively involve them in what he’s doing. This means that his kids watch horror movies wayyyyy too early. They also learn to curse far too early for your liking. At least he teaches them to be responsible with it, but still. C’mon man. He at least does turn it off and care for them if it’s too scary. He’s not a monster, just sometimes a bit oblivious.
He’s also very intent on ensuring a good education. His children fear not the sandal, but the pen and paper as he forces them to write paragraphs about why kicking their dad is a bad idea. He’ll lecture them too, of course, but he does take delight in pushing education into every avenue in life. Yes, this means that you’ll sometimes stop on a trail and get a half hour lecture on how to use a flower in stews and herbal remedies. His children are begging him to stop but he’s insisting that they learn.
Unfortunately, this leads to smart kids, and smart kids know how to be sneaky and how to mouth off. Unfortunately for them, König is better in both areas. He can be downright snarky with his kids. He’s blunt and straightforward and also determined to remind that no, they cannot say whatever they like whenever, they need to learn their manners first.
Now, the true goblin nature of König comes out with food. He’s a nightmare with food. He was before having kids, he will be after. It’s just now he has new targets.
When his kids get cookies, they will inevitably make the horrible mistake of offering a bite to their father. Just a little one, but they want to share! Sharing is good! Sharing is not so good when your father devours your entire cookie with a smile. He just eats the whole thing. There is no sharing food with daddy König. He’s König the Devourer and his children aren’t immune to his ways.
Sometimes, one of his kids will offer him a lick of icecream. He proceeds to take the cone and then refuses to give it back until there’s naught but a napkin left. His children learn the meaning of the word ‘betrayal’ at a terribly early age. Perfidy will haunt their every memory involving their father and food.
I cannot stress the shock on König’s face when he steals his toddler’s cookie and then gets slapped.
This leads to playfighting. König is surprisingly gentle and good with playfighting. He’s good at falling in such a way where he doesn’t hit the kid behind him in the process. He’s actually quite good at avoiding accidents entirely. Part of it is being hyper-vigilant as a colonel, part of it is just that König really cares about his kids. This said, he won’t always stop an accident if he thinks it’s a good learning opportunity. If his kid runs into a sliding glass door, that’s a great learning opportunity. Again, he’s a bit of a dick.
He’s especially a dick when being introduced to his kid’s friends. König is a big, big man. Being five and meeting your friend’s dad is always scary, but when said friend’s dad is König? Oh good lord it’s terrifying. König used to try to ease kids into his presence but now he just accepts they’ll be terrified of him.
Now before I go into the next antic, I want to make something clear. König is a very quiet man. Extremely quiet. However, when his children make a mess, he doesn’t always want to go upstairs and knock on their door. Being in the military and having a big body gives him a nice big voice, and he’s more than happy to shout for his kids to come downstairs for something. Sometimes, he’ll yell about something but he’s not actually that mad about it. As I’ve said before, König would never yell at his kids with all his energy. He might raise his voice when he’s particularly strained, but he avoids yelling (in anger) as much as possible.
However, when yelling for his kid to come pick up their toys, imagine his horror when his son comes down and then another kid comes following behind. Oh König has so much explaining to do. He didn’t realize the play date was today, not now at least. He’s mortified that he just yelled at the top of his lungs and nearly made a child soil their pants. He has to get down low and really help calm the kid down with cookies and milk to make sure the kid won’t pass out. He has so much explaining to do when the kid’s mom comes to pick him up. It’s a genuine nightmare for König. He probably tried to ask you to deal with it for him but sometimes you gotta face the consequences of your own actions. König learns this the hard way.
König is good with other kids, but sometimes when he slams a door too hard or yells when he stubs his toe, visiting friends can get the willies spooked out of them. He always tries to apologize, but there’s so much you can do to calm someone down when you’re big and covered in scars (or worse, wearing a hood).
König isn’t a perfect father by any means, but the thing that matters most is that he always loves his kids. He always emphasizes how much he cares about them to you and to them in particular. He’s good at keeping his cool when things get heated and he’s great at getting to them on their level. He really does love his children above all else. His family is the most important thing in the world to him. He’s determined to shower them with love and affection. He’s strict about education and helping them get ahead in school, and he’s insistent that they are good kids and not spoiled brats, but he won’t ever hit his kids. He’ll never scream at them and call them names. He might grunt and make sarcastic comments, but he won’t ever hurt his child.
Or at least you say that until he accidentally sits on one and they both scream.
Konig Dump
Headcanons
i hate to be that girl but simon would NOT want sex after coming home from deployment. (reader x simon riley)
he would want SLEEP. i know for a fact this man doesn’t even care enough to shower most nights. so you know to hold off on changing them until the day after he comes home. he doesn’t care if the sheets are dirty. besides, your scent helps him sleep better.
he comes home and no matter the time of day, he strips off his clothes down to his boxer briefs.
side note:
price wears briefs
johnny wore briefs until he accidentally wore simon’s underwear and realized boxer briefs are far comfier
kyle wears boxer shorts, definitely has designs on them. beneath his exterior, brother is whimsical asf
he grabs you by the waist and moves you by pushing on you with his entire body weight, essentially forcing you into bed.
on typical nights, he’s a back sleeper. almost vampire like. learned habit.
on nights coming back from work? he collapses onto his stomach. face in pillow. out like a light. one arm draped over your stomach, pulling you closer. he definitely ends up with shoulder pain after. though he doesn’t really care.
in the late afternoon when he wakes up, he finally takes a shower. during his shower you change the sheets.
i imagine earlier in the day you would’ve washed his gear. out of the kindness of your heart. simon insists you don’t have to. he doesn’t need you to do it. he’s capable.
but he appreciates the gesture all the same. half the time he does it he forgets to take the chapstick out of his pocket and ends with oily gear. you always remember.
maybe after a day or two of just sleeping and eating he finds the energy. and it’s always soft. you do most of the work. his bones are tired, muscles weak. half the time he’s injured aswell.
but you like it all the same. you love this routine you have.
Simon Riley who surprises you with your very own knife set during your celebratory birthday month.
And no, it’s not a set of kitchen knives.
You’re confused but nonetheless nervously laughing as you look down at the black and polished set of deadly objects, because Simon Riley does have a habit of spoiling you. Getting you exactly what you want even without saying anything. But these were a shock to you, you didn’t even look like a knife user of some sort outside of the kitchen or opening packages. What would you, an ordinary civilian, be using these for?
“You’ll use it one day.”
“What?”
“Will be useful swee’art. Trust me.”
And then he’s taking you to a private knife throwing range in the hills, because he wholeheartedly believes his soon to be wife (not proposed yet but he knows it’ll happen) will use it one day. Even if it’s a catch a damn apple.
Simon thinks you’d look so damn adorable yet so damn hot throwing one of the knifes that have yours plus his initials in them :)
Simon is right behind, your ass pressed against him, straightening your back, fixing your form when you need it. And giving you an example of what it should look like (and he looks too hot for his own good as one of his knives hit the target). And dare I say, it’s romantic.
You two take a lunch break, and hes got a whole picnic set up for you. Flowers, a picnic blanket, sparkling cider (because ‘you shouldn’t drink and throw luvie’ ;) words from the man himself), a hand packed lunch with your favorite dessert. It’s too good to be true for what the date actually is.
And by the end of your first session, he’s praising you in kisses. Telling you how you were a ‘good girl’ and how “perfect” you did as you two looked at your final, botched target of the day together.
a/n: sorry for the random ending, I didn’t know hoe to finish this, but I think this is cute :)
most recent masterlist
I bet they're pink 😼
Simon’s sweet wife
seen other people talk about the task force finding out about Simon’s bird at first in subtle ways so I made this
It started with the lunches.
At first, no one thought much of it. Simon had brought the occasional sandwich before, nothing out of the ordinary. But then it changed. Out went the basic bread and meat, and in came proper meals. Lasagna. Curry. A neatly packed container of something warm and homemade, tucked right beside a little folded note Simon was far too quick to snatch out of sight when Johnny leaned over, grinning.
I absolutely NEED more oh konig and hyper reader. It’s SO FREAKING CUTE AHHHHHH I need to see date three and more of them😝<3
Hold My Hand or I Will Fall (On Purpose)
Pairing: König x Hyper!Reader
Warnings: Fluff overload, suggestive banter, König being dangerously close to combusting, reader is a menace with a smile, roller skating shenanigans, mild swearing, blushing, accidental lap sitting, emotional tension, König overthinking everything, reader having zero chill
Author's Note: König has no defenses against a hyper!Reader in love, and this poor man is just trying his best while you’re busy spinning right into his heart (and lap).
Summary: It’s Date Three, and you take König roller skating. He’s nervous. You’re pure chaos. But in the before and after, something a little deeper starts to bloom—and neither of you are ready for just how real this is getting.
Masterlist
MDNI18+MDNI18+MDNI18+MDNI18+MDNI18+
——
König sat on the edge of his bed, staring blankly at the open drawer in front of him like it had personally offended him.
He had no idea what to wear.
How does one dress for roller skating with the sun incarnate?
You had texted him 47 emojis and a single line:
Sugar Rush 🍫💕: Be ready at 7. Bring knee pads or a will. LOVE YOU BYEEEEEE
Love you.
You said love you.
You probably meant it casually. Of course you did.
Right?
He was sweating.
Eventually, he settled on black joggers, a hoodie, and prayed to every deity known to man that he wouldn’t fall flat on his face and lose the only person who made his heart beat like a war drum.
He opened the front door at 7 sharp.
You were already bouncing on your toes in the driveway, skates in hand.
Wearing a crop top with a sparkly cartoon frog on it and the biggest grin he’d ever seen.
“I’m gonna break your kneecaps with affection,” you said brightly.
König blushed. “Please don’t.”
“No promises.”
——
König had seen war.
He had jumped out of helicopters, kicked in doors, and stared death in the face.
But nothing—nothing—prepared him for the words you just said:
“We’re going roller skating!”
He blinked. “…We’re doing what?”
You spun in your seat in the car, holding up a pair of glittery pink socks. “Roller. Skating. You said you’d go wherever I wanted for Date Three. And I want neon lights, 80s music, and to watch your giant tactical body try to stay upright on four wheels.”
He stared at you in disbelief.
You batted your lashes. “Don’t worry. If you fall, I’ll catch you.”
“…You are half my size.”
“Emotionally? I’m stronger.”
You winked. He covered his face with one hand and groaned softly.
At the rink, you were already lacing up your skates, bouncing like you were powered by caffeine and sugar alone. König sat next to you, still visibly regretting every decision that had led to this moment.
“You’re scared,” you teased.
“I am a sniper,” he muttered. “And this… this is terrifying.”
“You’re being dramatic.”
“I am nearly seven feet tall.”
“So if you fall, you’ll make a cool THUD.”
He gave you a slow, side-eye glare. “That’s not comforting.”
You stood up on your skates and nearly slipped before catching yourself. “Okay, okay—first rule of skating with me: hold my hand at all times.”
“That is not a rule.”
“It is if you want me to stop fake falling just to land in your arms.”
His ears turned red. “…That is evil.”
You held out your hand with a dazzling grin. “Come on, gentle giant. Let’s skate.”
He took your hand like it was made of glass. Slowly. Carefully. Like you were the one who needed saving.
But it was him who was doomed.
You dragged him out onto the rink, your glitter socks poking out of your skates, your laughter echoing off the walls. You skated backward in front of him, holding both his hands, grinning up at him like he hung the damn moon.
“You’re doing so good!” you beamed.
“I am going to die,” he said through gritted teeth.
“You’re just mad because I’m cuter on wheels than you.”
He looked down at you, eyes crinkling behind his mask. “…You are very cute.”
You promptly skated into a wall.
König gasped and grabbed you before you could fall. “Are you okay?!”
You looked up at him with big eyes and an even bigger grin. “You just said I’m very cute.”
His entire face turned red. “I—I did not—”
“You did. It’s okay. I’m adorable, I know.”
You leaned in, nose brushing his chest, hand still in his. He was stiff as a board, like he didn’t know whether to run or melt into the floor.
You tugged his arm. “Come on. You haven’t even tried the spin yet.”
He blinked. “The what.”
You didn’t answer.
You just grabbed both his hands, leaned back, and started spinning in the center of the rink, laughing as he tried to keep up. The momentum pulled you in a dizzy circle, your skates a blur, your hands gripped in his like he was the only anchor in the world.
Then you tripped.
And landed squarely in his lap.
Right in the middle of the rink.
Dead center.
König’s mask was pushed halfway up from the fall, exposing flushed cheeks and parted lips.
You, ever the menace, smirked. “Well. This escalated quickly.”
He made a noise that might’ve been a whimper.
You leaned closer. “I could kiss you right now.”
He stared at you like a man on the verge of cardiac arrest. “…You shouldn’t say things like that.”
“Why?”
“…Because I want you to.”
You beamed.
So you kissed him. Right there. On the rink floor, in your glitter socks and skates, while the speakers blasted Madonna and the disco ball spun overhead.
And when you pulled back, he whispered, “You are going to be the death of me.”
You patted his cheek. “Not before Date Four, babe.”
Later, when he walked you back to your door, his hands hovering like he wanted to touch you but didn’t know how, you turned and pulled him down by the collar.
“I had fun,” you whispered.
“…Even when you fell on me?”
“Especially when I fell on you.”
He grinned, boyish and shy. “I am… planning the next one.”
Your eyes sparkled. “Really?”
He nodded. “Something quiet. For us.”
Your heart melted.
You leaned up and kissed his cheek. “Better be ready, big guy. Because if there’s not snacks, I riot.”
He laughed.
You grabbed him my his arm and dragged him inside.
——
You were sitting on your couch in mismatched pajamas, face still flushed from laughter, hair wild from your helmet, feet in König’s lap as he rubbed your sore ankles like it was instinct.
He’d taken off his hoodie. (You ended up stealing it as a keep sake to wear)
You were doing everything in your power not to crawl into his lap like a sleepy cat and purr.
“I can’t believe you actually spun with me,” you murmured, toes wiggling against his thigh.
“I thought I was going to die,” he admitted.
“You didn’t.”
“You landed in my lap.”
“You’re welcome.”
He glanced at you then, gaze soft but weighted. “I’ve never met anyone like you.”
You grinned. “What, because I’m cute and a menace?”
“Because you make everything feel…” He hesitated. “Less scary.”
Your smile faltered for just a second—but in the most melty way. “König.”
He cleared his throat. “Sorry. That was—”
“No. No, it wasn’t too much.” You sat up, scooted close, your legs draped over his lap. “You know what I think?”
He shook his head slowly.
You poked his chest. “I think you’re secretly the bravest person I know. And you’re letting me in. That means more than you think.”
His ears went bright red.
You leaned in. “Also, you’re definitely falling in love with me.”
His mouth parted—then closed.
You kissed his cheek.
“…I might be,” he whispered.
You smiled. “Good. Because I’m definitely already there.”
He pulled you into his lap without another word, arms wrapped tight, face tucked into your shoulder like he’d finally found the safest place on Earth.
You both fell asleep like that.
The frog on your shirt smiled too.
Hope you enjoyed! Please consider liking and reposting! -Midnight💜
Just taking 15 chief
Calm Down 😮💨
One of the worst phrases you can ever tell a raging woman is to calm down.
König learned this the hard way after listening to you chew him out. He looked at you like you would a feral cat. And in a way, you were. Compared to him anyway. Luckily, he learned from his mistakes and adapted.
He pulled up to curb, unlocking his doors.
“I told you to be here an hour ago!” you say, climbing into the car.
“Mhm.” He says as if he wouldn’t make you late. As if he hadn’t had you stressing during the entire hour you waited.
Before you could get another word out, you were holding a hot container of food from your favorite Mexican restaurant.
“You know, time is just a social construct.” You start, watching as he set your favorite drink from said restaurant in the cup holder.
He nods along as you speak, more than amused.
“Us humans, we live on borrowed time, you know? How can we appreciate the beauty of things if we’re always rushing?” You continue, letting him put a neck pillow behind you before covering you with a blanket and starting up the car.
more! | mlist ✎ᝰ.ᐟ
Just thinking about Ghost having a shy, quiet wife. The glaring opposite of Ghost, painted in black and blood while you’re adorned in lace and frills. Smooth skin and delicate flesh, warm eyes and a bashful smile. Soft-spoken and so fucking sweet.
No one else knows about you, or that he’s married, not from lack of wanting people to know he has such a pretty dove waiting for him at home, but because he knows all the men on base would eat you alive.
But one day, he forgets the lunch you made him. It takes everything in you to refrain yourself from driving to base to make sure he has something to eat— you know he doesn’t have the healthiest eating habits.
You choose to message him, something he usually responds fairly quickly to. Always at your beck and call just in case his sweet girl needs him, but he doesn’t answer. Your lips are pinched raw with worry by the time you decide to get in your car.
So, imagine everyone’s surprise when a sergeant interrupts the meeting Ghost’s in— ‘Lieutenant, um, Mrs. Riley is waiting outside for you.’
Ghost is on his feet in an instant, it must be some emergency if you’re there. He rushes to the hallway, everyone else in the room stumbling behind to snoop through the thin crack of the door, see who their big bad Lieutenant is married to.
And there you are, Tupperware container in your manicured hands, white dress covering your frame with matching ribbons and bows in your hair. The look on your face is anxious, right up until you see Ghost, your eyes softening as he approaches you with wide strides despite the fact that he’s twice your size, hulking and threatening.
“Sweet’art, everything okay? You’re not hurt, are you?” He asks, brows furrowing as he does a once over your figure, checking for injury.
You exhale a quiet laugh, “No, baby. You just forgot your lunch, and you didn’t answer your phone so I got worried you would go the whole day without eating.”
He cups your jaw, a smile breaking out on his face. His sergeants are baffled for several reasons— they did not expect their Lieutenant to be married to such a sweet thing, nor had they ever heard their Lieutenant speak in such a soft, hushed tone, never seen him touch something with such care, like you were so fragile in the palms of his hands.
They would’ve thought it was all a joke if it wasn’t for the massive diamond ring on your finger, or the way you pushed deeper into his touch.
“Sorry, dove, just been in a meetin’ all day.”
He stamps a kiss against your lips, lets himself linger just a little longer than he should because he knows the whole room is watching from behind the door.
“Sweetest little wife, aren’t you?”
Simon Riley who never gets mad at his wife. No matter how angry he is. CW : None. Pure fluff
Simon was practically fuming. First he'd been ordered by Price to train a group of new recruits, then, the young recruits decided to be a colossal pain in the ass, and to top it off, he'd missed his lunch break where he would normally have some respite by calling you.
So now, he was shouting at the recruits. More than usual. The recruits all looked dead on their feet. But Simon didn't care, they decided to be annoying little pricks. They needed discipline or they'd never make it in the military.
"For fucks sake, you mongrel! Run ten laps!" Simon roared at a recruit, the others looking nervous. Not wanting to be the next one to face Simon.
"Uh, sir?" One of the recruits squeak.
"What?!" Simon roared, the recruit pointing behind Simon.
Simon turned with a low growl, clearly not in the mood for anymore antics, only for him to look down and see you. His wife, in a pretty little sundress and holding a Tupperware container full of something. It didn't matter what was inside, his stomach was growling at the thought of your cooking.
"Swee'heart" Simon sighed in relief, his shoulders visibly relaxing and his arms wrapping around your waist. He relished in the squeak that came from you as he lifted you up and buried his face in the crook of your neck.
"You alright, big guy?" you giggle. Simon grumbling in agreement. Making you laugh again.
Simon set you down, barking at the recruits to find Price and that he'll be taking over the training, before walking behind you with his hands on your waist to guide you to his office.
"Si, if you're busy I can go" you offer, and Simon can barely handle how fucking sweet you are to him.
Simon shook his head, taking off his balaclava and sitting in his office chair. Pulling you to sit on his lap.
"Made you some cottage pie" you grin, opening the container in your hands and handing it to Simon. God it was still warm. "I thought you were gonna yell at me with how mad you were at the recruits"
"Would never yell at you, princess" Simon said, rubbing your hips as you fed him a forkful of the cottage pie. He groaned at the taste, making you giggle.
"good?"
"so fucking good, lovie. Needed your cooking after how shit today has been" Simon smiled, bringing your left hand to his lips and kissing your wedding ring gently.
⛧°. ⋆𓌹♰𓌺⋆. °⛧
btw guys I pulled white lily cookie and dark cacao cookie while writing this :p
simon would definitely have a clumsy girlfriend. the type of girlfriend where you'd almost always find a way to have a bruise or cut on you anytime you went out.
"where did ya get this?" "hit against the desk at work."
"love, that's a pretty bad scratch." "i was trying to pet that stray cat near the ravine, i think she has kittens."
"what do you mean you got chased by a swan on the way home?" "it looked like it was injured, i was trying to get a photo for the wildlife people! you're the one telling me that the queen owns every swan!"
simon sometimes felt the need to swaddle you up in bubble wrap just to keep you safe. but as you looked at him with pleading eyes and a frown, he only ruffled your hair and went in for a soft kiss - he could never be mad at you.
you expected that you'd be taking care of his injuries from the armed forces, not him wrapping hello kitty banded bandages across your fingers because somehow you got seven paper cuts in one day!
one time you went to the park and when you went to feed the ducks some of the frozen peas you brought in a cup (never bread!), you leaned a little too forward and almost fell right into the pond. thankfully simon's reflexes were faster and wrapped a strong arm around your middle and pulled you back up, "alright, lamb. let's feed the ducks a little further away." and you looked up at him, near tears, and nodded.
it wasn't your fault, some folks were just more clumsy than ever. when he came back from missions, he would spend hours examining every part of you to check for any new cuts, bruises, or scars - then make sure to kiss them all and ask what exactly you did.
he kissed you on the forehead and asked, "now tell me, love, how does a trolley attack you?"