worth-telling, world-telling

Most people dream of happy endings in love. I do too. I started my quest for love when I was 13. Summer of 2002, I attended a True Love Waits camp and I heard a couple testify about how God wrote their love story. To a young girl full of hopes and...

[myjourneyofwaiting]

To the man who always makes me laugh this hard even when all I want to do is cry, this is for you: "I saw you with tears in your eyes, I saw you with laughter in your heart, and I LOVED YOU ALL THE MORE BECAUSE OF WHO YOU ARE. Just as I love the you that is cloaked in the beauty of the day and the you that is covered in the unknowns of the night, I LOVE YOU WITH ALL THAT IS IN ME. I love not a thought, I love you, and all the things that make you, you. Time will make strangers of us all, but I know that WE SHALL BE TOGETHER, remembering the warmth that comes with our smiles and the reassurance that WE ARE WALKING HAND IN HAND TOWARD SOMETHING LASTING AND GOOD." Even when I have a lot of fears sometimes, please know that I will always be thankful to God that I am walking this road with you. I love you babe! Happy anniversary! ❤ #TBLaBerge #TeamSwarew #July9

[myjourneyofwaiting]

So 5 years ago, I created this blog because I wanted to write. I was brokenhearted at that time and I thought that the best way to help myself to move forward was to write about all the joy and the pain I have in my heart. I thought that there’s no better way to make use of all the lessons learned but to share it to others. So I did. I laughed and cried. I wrote. People read. People got encouraged. I found hope. Many days and months and years of this cycle and then I found myself demotivated to write. Maybe because my broken season has ended, or because I am now in a different season of my life. I am still waiting, but in a different way now. So how do I write about the same thing I wrote about many years ago? It was then that I realize that if you only write, or maybe even sing, dance and cook for one reason, or because of something you feel at that current season, as soon as the seasons of life change, you lose the motivation to keep doing what you are doing. When this happens, you limit the world of the beauty they could have seen through your life. 

So here I am again, still writing. But this time, instead of writing just about my journey of waiting on love, I choose to write about my journey of waiting in this life. I am 27 tomorrow and I realize that life is a never-ending journey of waiting---waiting for dreams to come true, waiting for love to happen, waiting for answered prayers, waiting for the right time to say and do something, waiting for the hope of the coming King, Jesus Christ our Lord. My life is a journey of waiting and arriving, of waiting and finally experiencing, of waiting and finally knowing. My life is a journey of waiting, and it is not just love I am waiting for but life itself. And in my waiting, I know I can move, write, sing and dance because I am waiting for things that are to come because of the hope I have in Christ. 

[myjourneyofwaiting]

"I've been waiting for so long for something to arrive, for love to come along.. Now our dreams are coming true.. Through the good times and the bad, I'll be standing there by you.." ❤ #june9

[myjourneyofwaiting]

sixth: butterflies in my stomach and lessons in my heart

It’s been 185 days since the day I said yes, 4435 hours since the hour I chose to love again, 266,160 minutes since the minute I received my answered prayer and 15,969,600 seconds since the second I knew that in his arms is where I wanted to stay. Six months after that beautiful night and all I can see is love growing stronger and deeper each day. 

The past six months had not been easy. I never expected it to be. I knew that the moment I decide to walk with him in this journey is the beginning of a new season in my life that will not only bring about butterflies in my stomach but also lessons in my heart. Six months of trying to patch up differences, facing and overcoming different struggles, believing even at the face of doubt, giving grace during hard days, loving even in the midst of discomfort and pain, and trusting that God is at work even in the dark---I can say that we both grew with the relationship. The Lord, in His mercy and grace, has used what we have to write a story in our individual lives about His unfailing and overwhelming love for man. We love only because He first loved us, and in our love, Christ is seen. Every moment of learning from Jesus together brought us closer to one another and deeper in love with each other.

We do not have a very uncommon and extraordinary story and I cannot say that ours is the best love story anyone could ever read. But with Christ at the center, we have a meaningful story to tell. I guess this is the central thing the Lord changed in me. All these years of waiting, I have longed for a love story that is worth-telling and world-telling. I wanted the world to listen to the beauty of a love story I waited for and prepared for. I wanted the world to give ears and attention to a story that is overwhelmingly beautiful and inspiring. I wanted the world to care so I worked hard to achieve it. I waited for years. I protected myself and my purity. I prepared. I wanted everything to be perfect because I wanted to have something to tell the world, something to present to God. But through this relationship, the Lord changed my perspective about love and the love story He is writing for me or rather, the one I was desperately trying to write for myself. I realized that the beauty of a love story lies not in the main characters but in the One writing and directing the whole thing. I realized that no matter what I do, the story still depends on the Author and the Director. He writes. He decides. He makes everything beautiful. I have seen that in the past six months. All my efforts to make the story beautiful the way I want it to actually failed but there is still a different kind of beauty that shines from the ashes---the beauty that only the hands of Jesus can create.

So I thank the Lord for writing for us a story of two people who found each other and basked in God’s mercy and grace together. Ours is a story of the hope that is only found in Christ Jesus. Our story is His story, and we will be forever amazed.

[myjourneyofwaiting]

I am four days away from the exact sixth month after God surprised me big time when He brought back this beautiful man in my life. The Lord made love happen to me at a time I least expected and six months after, I am still harvesting the fruits I did nothing to receive. God planted. He watered. He made it grow. All so that I can bask in the beauty of a story He has beautifully written with His own magnificent hands. I will forever be grateful. <3

[myjourneyofwaiting]

Then and again, my Disney-charged childhood taught me something about life and love in general that I believe everyone needs to know or be reminded of:

LOVE CHANGES YOU. IF IT DOES NOT, IT IS NOT LOVE. <3

♫♫ Tale as old as time, Tune as old as song.. Bitter sweet and strange..  Finding you can change, Learning you were wrong.. ♫♫

[myjourneyofwaiting]

Finding love in Japan

"I wish I had the wisdom to make her see that while answers are scarce to her desperate prayers of finding love again, nobody could ever make her stop from believing that her turn will someday come; that there will be that bracing season of answered prayers; and that one day, someone will choose her, watch her soar as she reaches for her dreams and be in love with her just the same." - Avic Tatlonghari

[myjourneyofwaiting]

Glory to God for giving me the honor of speaking to the young people about lessons I have learned about purity and His will for His children. I am never perfect in this area but God is always good and ready to save. He called us for purity because He wants to spend eternity with us. What a great and ultra loving God! He made sure that there will be a way for His beloved to enjoy life with Him when He gave the life of His Son up on the Cross to pay for our sin and cleanse us from within. The call for purity is God's gift for all who desires to be with Him. This is His perfect will for us, to be pure and holy, set apart for His glory as He is eternally pure and holy. Thank You Lord for another breakthrough for Your glory! What a joy it is to live for You alone! :) #opendoors #wordfortheworldpulanglupa #foreveramazed

[myjourneyofwaiting]

so this is love

For two years in a row, I have written about February and how it changed me. Today, on the first day of this beautiful month, I write again.

February always gives me chills from inside my heart. Whether single or in a relationship, the celebration aura of this month never fails to remind me of love and all the memories and dreams I have built around it. Next to the long list of memories and dreams is the even longer list of lessons learned that I took with me ever since I started threading this journey.

If asked today, I believe that the greatest lesson I have learned about love is that love is a gift and loving will always involve giving---of yourself and of everything asked of you. True love will always bring you to the point of giving up your comfort, your pride, your desires and wants, your dreams and plans, all because you have chosen to think of what is best not just for yourself, but for the one you love. True love will naturally drive you to be selfless, thinking of the interest of others above your own. True love is doing the very thing that Jesus Christ, the Greatest Lover of all, did on the Cross of Calvary---laid down His life for the ones He love. 

Looking back, I can say that the Lord has taught me to love like that. And after a million teaching times, I can proudly say that by His grace, I am learning. Being single for six years, in a relationship for one beautiful year, and now being single again, I know that the Lord has changed my heart and made it like His own. My February story may not be exactly like how it was last year but it will always be like how it was ever since. It will still be about Jesus Christ and how much He has sacrificed His life to show me that I am deeply loved. His love is my anchor and will forever be my definition of what it is to really fall in love. <3

1 Corinthians 13:5 "It (love) is not self-seeking."

"So this is love. Now I understand better, dear Lord."

[acelvanommen-blog]

I remember the very first time I met Maricar Reyes (Mars). It was the 1st quarter of 2010 when Caress Caballero ( one of the staff of Cornestone Talent Mgmt) went to our house with her. I heard that she was an actress and a commercial model, but I didn’t realize how famous she was until...

[myjourneyofwaiting]

We really can't imagine what God can do and how sweet He can work when His children wait upon Him and obey His will. Maricar and Richard's story is a powerful testimony of God's grace and love at work in the life of two people who chose to humble themselves down, die to their own desires and follow Christ.

[myjourneyofwaiting]

AGAPE by Redeemed Band

Heard this song last Monday and I simply couldn't get enough of it until today. It literally brought me back to those moments in my life when this song would fit best for my theme song. Indeed, sometimes you just have to let go of someone you love because you love God more.

God's love for me taught me to love Him, and the love I now have for Him helps me to love the person I have long been waiting for. He's here now, and all I can say is that even in the pain of my past, I know God was at work. He knows what I need to know and who I need to be, and that's the reason for all the tears I cried out. It was for this moment, so that I may glorify Him in my relationship with my answered prayer. :)

My God has truly blessed that broken road that led me straight to him. And I could not ask for more. <3

[myjourneyofwaiting]

letting go

Out of all the possible zones a person can get into when it comes to love, I think this is probably the zone I can call my own. My story is always under the "Right Love At The Wrong Time" zone. I meet a man. I convince myself that he is the perfect guy for me. I fall in love with him. I go crazy about him. I dream to be with him forever. I plan my life with him. And then I wake up. I wake up and I realize that the timing is not right so I just have to let go. It's always like that in my love story book. It always ends with goodbye. If there are two words in the whole English dictionary that I have mastered the art of, it's LETTING GO. I don't know how many times have I told my heart to let go of my feelings for someone or to really let go of someone just because it wasn't right at the moment. I couldn't count all the times I cried while the song Somewhere Down The Road or Love Will Lead You Back was playing in the background. It was painful to let go of someone at the time when all I wanted was to love him and be loved in return. This is my kind of pain, and for a moment there, it made me doubt the good promises of God for the love story I gave Him to write. Little did I know that He was just teaching me something beautiful about the real meaning of letting go.

So through the years that God was teaching me about my favorite subject matter, I have come to understand that what I know about letting go is less than what it really is. Letting go is more than just throwing my feelings out of the window or leaving the person I wanted so much to be with outside the door. It's more than just picking up the pieces of my broken heart and trying my best to put it back together. Letting go is more than the first step to moving forward after I wave my hands and say goodbye. Rather, letting go is about letting myself go... Letting myself go to where God wants me to be and letting myself go in order to become who God wants me to be. 

Looking back at all the moments I stayed in that zone and chose to let go, I have now come to realize what God was actually writing down for me. I now see clearly what He was doing when He asked me to let go over and over and over again. I now understand what it was all for. I had to be in that zone.. I had to learn to let go.. Because if I haven't been there, I wouldn't be here now. God blessed the broken road that led me to my answered prayer. All of God's NOs and WAITs led me to His YES. This was where He wanted me to be, and who I am now is who He wants me to be now. This is the purpose of spending years in that zone. This is the purpose of learning to LET GO.

[myjourneyofwaiting]

The right time for love does not depend on reaching a certain age or a certain status in life. Being 18 or graduating from college or having a job doesn't mean you've already got the license to be in a relationship. It does not even depend on whether you think you're ready for love or love is ready for you. Only God knows when the right time for love is. Only He knows when you will be able to meet that special person, look at him/her in the eyes and just know in your heart that it is time. The Lord has already planned it ahead. He already knows the ending, and He made sure that it will be beautiful for you. In fact, it is the best. So stop trying to determine when the right time is. Trust in the Lord. Wait on Him and wait for Him to peacefully tell your heart that the right time has already come. God's desire for you is to be happy right now as you wait. You are single right now because God has called you to be single. And when He sees fit for you to be in a relationship because you are ready for it, He will surely make it happen for you. In the meantime, focus on Jesus while you are waiting. Fix your eyes on Him and prepare yourself for what is ahead by surrendering your heart and life to the One who knows it all. Obey Him.. Serve Him.. Worship Him.. Love Him while you are in that journey of waiting. And you'll be surprised to realize just how much His love is going to overwhelm your heart. ♥

[myjourneyofwaiting]

my february 2013 story

A few hours from now and it's going to be the first day of February. I remember this time last year, I decided to write about the month of February not merely being a month where red roses, chocolates and serenades happen in every corner but rather a month that has and will always remind me that falling in love with Jesus is my February story. I wrote that last year with hope that in the coming year, I will once again be able to celebrate this month of love with my Savior as I have always done for the past seven years. And today, the Lord allowed me to realize that what I have hoped for is once again coming true.

It's the eve of February, and I can't help but remember all the beautiful (both happy and sad) February memories that I will always take with me. Being single for six Februaries has been an experience that molded me to become the woman that I am right now. It has taught me the reality that true love will never be satisfied by having someone to hold hands with or someone to kiss you goodnight. This is because true love is only satisfied in Jesus Christ first. The Bible tells us in 1 John 4:19 that "We love because He first loved us." Without Jesus' love in our hearts, we will never be satisfied by any kind of human love nor be able to satisfy anybody with the kind of love we can give. That season of singleness also taught me to love others better than myself. I did not know before that the purpose of waiting for true love is to prepare me for what I am waiting for. Focusing on God and on the needs of other people around me by serving in the ministry helped me understand that I am too small to think that the world should revolve around me. There are far more important things than what I desire and what I want. Learning to be selfless, I believe, is important to really be able to love the person especially prepared for me. To love God and to love others better than myself, is the greatest lesson I had learned during my single life that I am now taking with me as I enter this new stage. 

So yeah, I celebrate February 2013, the first after my long years of waiting, with joy in my heart because I know that though I have already met the person I am praying to be with for the rest of my life, nothing has changed. Falling in love with Jesus is STILL my February story. Only this time, as I fall deeper in love with Him, I know that I will also be able to fall deeper in love with the bonus, miracle and answered prayer that He has finally given me.

[myjourneyofwaiting]

I could write a million songs about the way you say my name.

I could live my lifetime with you and then do it all again.

But like I can't force the sun to shine, or hasten summer's start,

Neither should I rush my way into your heart.

Ever since I can remember, I have been hearing people tell each other to follow their hearts. It's as if the heart is the only thing in the world who knows what's best and that the way you feel now is the most important thing in life. It doesn't matter anymore what happens tomorrow or what consequences it may bring. If it feels right, then you know it's love and you better grab it now or lose your chance forever.

I have been through situations in my life when I was so close to believing that I should follow my heart. I can still remember that moment when all I wanted to do was to jump in and make myself feel the love everybody was talking about. It just felt so right. I wanted the idea of loving someone, and my heart told me then that I should take it now or leave it forever. I wanted to, believe me I really do but when I heard this song, something inside me told me that jumping into what I feel just might ruin the beautiful love story God has been writing for me.

Love is something deeper than most of us can ever understand and comprehend in a lifetime. Only Jesus Christ was able to perfectly define it. Indeed, it is something that we cannot actually fathom. So to jump into love easily because you feel like it's the right thing to do doesn't really make sense at all. I don't know about you but I dream of love to last forever. And because I do, I choose to let it take its time.

In God's perfect and beautiful time, I know that there will be no more need for rushing or jumping into love because it will be that day. It will be our day. February 14 wouldn't mean anything anymore because all the days of our lives together will be all about nothing else but the very love that we patiently waited for.

I'll give it time, I'll give it space and be still for a spell.

When it's time to walk that way, we wanna walk it well.

[myjourneyofwaiting]

follow me ate swan :))

I already did dear. Thanks! Ü

[hosannainthehighest-blog]

[myjourneyofwaiting]

I came across a really inspiring message from a book entitled "Emotional Purity" by Heather Arnel Paulsen. It really is a great book. It opened my eyes to realities that I often overlook when it comes to romantic love and relationships. On chapter 12, she talks about following God's plan for us during our inevitable season of singleness. Look at what she says.

Joy in Singleness

  We need to become friends with our singleness. The number one goal during this time is to fix ourselves on loving God with all our heart, soul, mind and strength. When you grow in your love for Him, you will desire to conform yourself to Him. You will put aside your own wishes and start living for His. Being single will then be easier. It may not come overnight, but with prayer and much reading of His holy and pure Word, you will see that His ways are best for you.

  This may be one of the biggest mental battles you will have. It takes perseverance. You can't give up. You have to fight the good fight of faith. Repent of thinking that marriage will solve your problems. Learn to fall in love with God. Trust Him for everything. He cares about the details of your life.

  God wants you to have joy in your singleness, and He wants you to know He's not going to keep you single a day longer than He plans. 

Indeed, being single is not a waiting station. We are not here to just wait until we reach our happy ending. That's not what God meant when He told us to wait. When He said "Wait, My child" what He meant was, "Fall in love with me first, darling. I am already taking care of everything." Our waiting time is God's loving way of preparing us for what is in store. This is our preparation stage. Here, God teaches us to be selfless by giving us desires to serve Him, live for Him and love others. He helps us to not focus on ourselves as we choose to focus on Him. And as we are learning to be selfless, we learn to be ready for the best version of ourselves that marriage requires --- the "not-me-myself-and-I-but-you" version.

Singleness is not a waiting station. It is our rehearsal. It is God's beautiful way of molding and preparing us for the love story that will definitely amaze and rock the world. :)