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Sex on the nhs consultants contract

This is a song About how long It takes a psychiatrist to Pounce upon A tiniest mouse His issues clear as glass He clearly has no class You see he cannot keep it in, Where it was designed to be His penis, Meant for dates with girls But at his disposal He has a ward full of women To dip in and out of While they doze Drug them into a stupour, To make them sour. Who needs to pay for dinner, When the nhs can gurantee you a free shag?

Ultimate bully ultimate tory toff!

Tory measure of success "what proud parents you must be, you brought up a sex abuser and pedophile - oh darling, thats amazing! We must buy him a disguise suit, claps hands exclaims "just think of all the damage he can do! Squeel squeel! " puff out chest proudly! Those school fees were definitely worth it. And guess what darling there's still money in the pot for bribery too..... then we can really pull the sheets over their eyes! Those toys we bought him really were an investment too, he can now fiddle anything! Just make sure he goes to church- no-one will suspect a thing.

Help in the name of health!

adults, having a BMI of 18.5 to 24.9 means you're considered to be a healthy weight. A person with a BMI of 25 to 29.9 is considered to be overweight, and someone with a BMI over 30 is considered to be obese. While BMI is a useful measurement for most people, it's not accurate for everyone. For example, the normal BMI scores may not be accurate if you're very muscular because muscle can add extra pounds, resulting in a high BMI when you're not an unhealthy weight. In such cases, your waist circumference may be a better guide (see below). What's considered a healthy BMI is also influenced by your ethnic background. The scores mentioned above generally apply to people with a white Caucasian background. If you have an ethnic minority background, the threshold for being considered overweight or obese may be lower. BMI shouldn't be used to work out whether a child is a healthy weight, because their bodies are still developing. Speak to your GP if you want to find out whether your child is overweight.

Summer sea swimming

A small shoal of brilliant green fish Weave and wander amongst, The forest of waving seaweed Of bright greens, browns and red kelps, A stray sea-bass captures my stagnant pose floating in awe above the carpet below, Whilst I glare at its size, And shocked I caught a glimpse, Of this shy stranger, Snails and limpets cast their tight grip On the rounded rocks shaped by the ebb and flow of this swaying sea, Intervals of silvery sand Display crabs slowly crawling characteristically sideways, Against the blue sky, oystercatchers fly by, And a lone cormorant sits gently, On his mirror bed of water, Surprised by this strange swimmer, Amongst his sea, The water is cool and refreshing, I become invigorated by nature, I stand on a rock and take a dolphin jump Into the sea and imagine mermaids, And wonder whether a dolphin Will join this glorious sea cacophony Set in the scene of summer sun and striking blue skies. What a gift the world bestowed to us.

How to make vegan eggy banana custard - without the egg and milk of course!

Ingredients 1 mug soya milk 1 teaspoon turmeric 1 banana 1 tablespoon stevia sweetner

Heat milk in microwave/pan. Roughly break up a banana and add to milk, add turmeric and sweetner and blend. Leave for 5 minutes. Should set! Hey presto animal cruelty free banana custard. Can I get a whoop whoop!

#kitchenchemistry #cuisinescience #experimentingwithingredients #comfortfoodwithhealthyconsequences

Shit chess

Expecting perfection, But giving rejection, All the while making noise of hate, And anger and bitterness, Lying your face off, But expecting ironed perfection, In behaviour And attitude, It is me under the microscope, With all multitude of war games, Being pushed and pulled and ferried about, Like a pawn, Between all sides, Back and forth for confusion amusement, Fun and games. Not for me.

The lesbian tryst

That little brattish Tiny voice, Which spit and sputters Of hatred and mutters Talking such nonsense That anyone ever heard Her arguments illogical Quite literally Iliteral And with me it has been for years Spitting and spatting In a torment of weird Finding enemies To push and to pull Of games to play to keep her anger Brim full. Accht!

The Suzy floozy

There is floozy Called Suzy, Whose name is heard frequently, I hear of her all the time, But she won't even speak to me, Is she the dominatrix torturess, Who built her own fortress, Who wants to kill, With a few pills, What is her reasoning? Hatred I think, Because she whizzes around, Before I can blink, Its the planet I came from, The table I ate from, The people I came from, The hair I was given, For that I won't be forgiven.

Michelle!

You were right your sister is totally irresponsible!

Slander

A psycho killer friend actually needs to have killed someone to be a killer!

Speakers in my cupboard

#noiseallthetime #medicalfraud #someonewantsmeoutoftgeway

Drugs

#itsachoicenotacompulsion

How do I stop an invisible knocking out stalker

Keep getting knocked out help?

Cannot cope

The noise going on in the street outside is driving me bonkers, it's serious sleep deprivation torture I really wish it would stop.

Death

When I die Bethan Elin Lowe was the murderer.

The Suzy lesbian

There is a Suzy lesbian Hanging outside my window Plotting away In a very nasty way

Cyfiawder i fi

Ali wali Byw mewn carchar Ironig I feddwl Fod on class A drug dealer Knockio Merched allan A gwneud trais Cymryd y piss Allan o'r system really Does dim Cyfiawnder Yn llygadau'r gyfraith. Y mwya o drais ti'n gwneud Gora oll.

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A losers diary