sum. a reality check followed by a derealization episode
tags. 18+, minors at your own discretion. explicit content, a little headcanon, yearning, angst, slow-burn, character death, cussing, smut, suggestive content, violence. you have violet eyes for lore reasons. may spoil the comics.
chapter IV here.
Mark watched you head inside your house with a frown, his hands tightening around the steering wheel for a brief second before he let out a slow breath. He’d been trying to make this better, in any way he could.
But he understood the root of the problem, and it wasn’t what it’d look like from the surface to anyone else. Like two best friends who had some stupid disagreement and forgot how to talk to each other.
This wasn’t about pride anymore. It wasn’t even about the argument. It was about two hearts that had spent years feeling things neither of them would say out loud. It was taboo, okay.
You guys shouldn’t have had sex together, period. It crossed a fatal line that ruined everything, and it did— and despite knowing the only way he’d ever fix this was by sitting down with you and talking about the one thing you’d both been avoiding…
Except… no.
He wouldn’t.
It felt problematic. Unnecessary.
He was already dealing with enough shit, and opening that conversation would only make things ten times worse— even if it meant mending things with you and having you smile at him again, call him Bean again.
With another sigh, Mark pushed himself off the hood of his car and took to the sky, deciding it’d probably be easier to bury himself in literally anything else than think about you for another second.
“…what’re you doing here?”
William looked up from his laptop with a puzzled frown as Mark awkwardly climbed through the narrow dorm window, muttering a quiet apology after nearly knocking over the tiny fan sitting on the desk.
“…to visit?” Mark offered with an awkward shrug, brushing invisible dust off the sleeves of his sweater as though that somehow made his entrance any less ridiculous.
William only stared at him for a second before slowly shutting his laptop.
“…oooookaaay…” he dragged out, squinting. “what’s with everyone looking at me like i grew a second fucking head today?”
Mark scoffed, dropping his backpack onto the floor before stuffing both hands into his pockets.
“What is it with everyone lately? I’m trying to be around and you all just—”
“Mark.” William cut him off, leaning forward until his forearms rested on his knees. “You pulled away a long fucking time ago. And I’m not talking about the ten months you were gone.” He added quietly, “and i know… i know you’re dealing with so fucking much, i know, but you’ve basically gone off rails.”
Mark opened his mouth almost immediately.
“No, I’m n—”
“Yes.” William interrupted without missing a beat, shaking his head once. “Yeah, you did.”
The room fell quiet. Mark’s brows slowly pinched together as he rubbed the back of his neck, rocking slightly on his heels before his shoulders sagged.
“…Did I?”
William’s expression softened just enough to be noticeable.
“…Yeah.”
Mark stood there for another second before giving up entirely, sliding down the side of William’s bed until he was sitting on the floor, forearms resting over his knees as he dragged both hands over his face.
“I can’t help but feel like my life’s getting fucking worse.” His voice came out quieter than he’d expected. “And I don’t mean on the space nazi side.”
A small laugh escaped William’s nose despite himself.
“…that’s honestly insane that i know exactly what you mean by that.”
Mark smiled for barely a second before it disappeared again. His fingers absentmindedly picked at the loose thread hanging from the cuff of his sweater, his knee bouncing restlessly against the floor.
“…Has…” He hesitated, eyes lingering somewhere between the carpet and the wall. “…Has Pea said anything?”
William frowned. “…About what?”
“I don’t know.” Mark muttered, frustrated with himself already. “Has she been… acting different?”
William thought for a moment, lips pursing as he searched his memory before giving a slow shrug.
“…Not really.”
Mark finally looked up. “What d’you mean, not really?”
“I mean…” William scratched the side of his jaw. “She’s been normal. Quiet, I guess. But that’s kinda… her lately.”
Mark’s gaze dropped back to the floor almost instantly. “huh.” Mark blows out a heavy breath. “…i guess— i dunno, i took her to B.C. where our moms went for like.. a summer getaway, we skipped rocks and what not, she didn’t seem to be in it.” He gestured.
“…no shit.” william replied, shrugging. “reminds her of her mom.”
“yeah I know that but, im trying.” Mark says quietly.
William watches him for a moment, “have you ever thought of something easier, than, y’know, all this?” he gestured with his hands. “maybe, like, hashing it out?”
“fuck no.” Mark breathes out immediately, closing his eyes. “im not ready for that can of worms.”
“well then fuck you man.” william replied, clapping his hands together. “i dunno what to tell you.”
somewhere else, you were looking at Mark, right outside an abandoned school you liked to hang out in with your cousin— something about these places brought you a sense of being grounded, especially looking at carvings on old desks, or the names of students on the walls.
“which one are you?” you ask, gesturing at him with your lollipop, green apple flavored.
“pardon?” Mark says, tilting his head. “Im the ‘fake’ one, if that helps you distinguish between us.” He muttered, his fingers air quoting.
“ah— should you be out?” you replied, a hint of concern in your voice.
He only smiles and sits down on a desk, the creak of metal filling the silence. “honestly? no, but, Cecil thinks being nice to me will keep me on the hook.” he replied, shrugging.
you skeptically watch him before sitting down yourself. “why’re you here?”
“to see you.” he replied immediately, not a thought processed. “duh.”
“why?”
“thought we established that, pea.” He rolled his eyes softly, “i lost my pea and theres one, alive and healthy, roaming around, i can’t help but want to watch.”
“ooh, alive yes, healthy, i doubt it.” you replied quietly, fiddling with the ends of your hair. ‘Mark’ just stared at you and blinked, waiting for you to elaborate.
“the head injury,” you gestured to your head, “i bleed every now and then and i lost my powers, and my irises lost pigment.”
“i noticed.” he nodded, worrying his lip. “violet’s an odd color, but it suits you.” his lips quirked up into a smile, “would’ve liked to see her with those irises.”
“they come with hemorrhaging, and lots of dependency.” you reply with a dry snort.
“do you see me complaining.” he countered, leaning forward, which makes you lean back. something about this version of Mark had you unable to think. unable to press your finger on what is so different about him when he looks… the same.
its a certain gleam in his brown eyes and how easily a smile comes to his face, almost like he had no—
“what’s your life like?” you ask, tilting your head.
“im flattered you’re interested in me.” he laughed softly, shaking his head and reaching out to twirl a lock of your hair around his fingers. “what else besides conquer, kill, occupy, and run the empire, hm?”
“horrible.” you reply.
“only ‘cause you’re brainwashed to think we’re bad, im trying to save everyone.” he murmured.
“by dictating?” you raise your brows.
“sometimes you have to do things to bring order to chaos, humans… they’re.. tsk.” He tutted, shaking his head. “does my face concern you?”
“what?” you breathe, and shake your head. “No.”
“so.. why can’t you look at me. im not him y’know.” he murmured, which makes you grind your molars against each other as you force out the awaited answer, “you’re identical.”
“bingo,” he laughed, low and steady. “im curious, tell me.”
you close your eyes for a moment to think, where would you start? the book is long, and unfinished, and unorganized. if anything, you don’t know which problem started what ‘cause even after the chicago incident, it brought you two closer.
“its… just a case of drifting.” you reply quietly, a mumble. “i can’t even place my finger on it.”
“yes you can.” ‘mark’ replied, his brown eyes memorizing the slope of your nose, your face’s shape, how many lashes sat on your waterline— “s’just me ‘n you.” He murmured.
“…if im being honest,” you mumbled, “maybe around.. a little over a year ago.” You sigh, “when Eve became a permanent figure around us.”
‘Mark’ stayed quiet for a beat, elbows resting against his knees as he watched you stare somewhere past him. There wasn’t any judgment on his face, if anything, there was too much understanding. It almost pissed you off.
“…mm.” He hummed softly, rubbing his thumb against his jaw. “jealous?”
Your brows pinched together almost immediately.
“…no.” You replied.
He only looked at you.
“…okay maybe a little.” You scoffed under your breath, rolling the lollipop around your mouth before pulling it out with an irritated sigh. “not of her. i don’t know her enough to hate her.” You gestured vaguely with the stick between your fingers. “i was jealous of…” You frowned. “…fuck, i dunno.”
“his time?” he offered quietly.
You looked away. “…mm.” You nodded.
“his attention?” he continued, his head tilting ever so slightly.
Another nod escaped you. “…his…” You laughed bitterly, shaking your head. “…everything.”
The corners of his mouth twitched.
“that’s more honest.” He murmured.
“Lets not.” You muttered almost immediately.
“What?” He asked, genuinely puzzled.
“You keep looking at me like you’re him.”
“I know.” He replied without missing a beat. “I know because you’re looking at me the exact same way she used to.”
Your head snapped toward him. “…what?” You breathed.
“My Pea.” He shrugged carelessly. “she’d stare when she was trying to figure me out.” His smile softened, though there was something almost mournful behind it. “…used to think i couldn’t tell.”
huh.
“You do the same shit.” He added with the faintest smile.
Silence settled between the two of you again, broken only by the wind slipping through the shattered classroom windows. Somewhere down the hall a loose door creaked lazily against its hinges.
“…does it bother you?” You asked quietly after a while.
“What?” He looked at you.
“looking at me.”
He frowned like the question itself was stupid. “Why would it?”
“‘cause i’m not her.”
“No.” He nodded once. “…you’re not.”
Another pause settled between the two of you.
“…but you’re close enough that my chest still does that weird fucking thing every time i look at you.” He admitted, almost absentmindedly.
You blinked.
“…what weird fucking thing?” You asked, unable to stop yourself.
He looked down at his hands for the first time since you’d met him, flexing his fingers once before letting out a quiet laugh through his nose.
“…beats.” He murmured.
Your lips parted, unsure whether to laugh or tell him to fuck off.
The silence stretched between the two of you again, surprisingly comfortable this time. You absentmindedly kicked your feet against the old classroom floor while he looked around the abandoned room, eyes catching on faded math equations still scribbled across the whiteboard and the dozens of carved initials scattered over the desks.
“…humans leave a lot behind.” He murmured, dragging two fingers over a carved heart in the wood before snorting softly. “shit handwriting, too.”
You laughed through your nose. “…yeah.”
“…you miss him.” It wasn’t a question, more like a teeny weeny observation from him. makes sense, he knew how you were programmed, albeit— weirdly? this whole situation blew your mind, as your smile disappeared almost as quickly as it’d come when you processed what he said.
“…every fucking day.” You admitted quietly, peeling the wrapper off your lollipop a little more just to keep your hands busy. “…i think that’s the worst part.”
“What is?” He looked over.
“…missing someone who’s still alive.” you look at your shoes.
His expression didn’t change, If anything, it softened. “…mm.”
A quiet crackle echoed from somewhere beneath the collar of his suit. ‘Mark’s’ eyes rolled so hard you were half convinced they’d disappear into the back of his skull.
“…there goes my parole.” He sighed dramatically, pushing himself off the desk with both hands before dusting imaginary dirt off his suit. “can’t even skip class without the old man’s tracking me. he forgets i can kill him sometimes.”
A laugh escaped you before you could stop it. “…you’re unbelievable.”
“I’ve been told.” He flashed you one last grin before taking a few steps backward toward the shattered classroom window. Halfway there he stopped, turning back just enough to glance over his shoulder. “…hey.”
you looked up.
“…don’t disappear on me, yeah?” He tilted his head.
Your brows pinched together. “…what?”
He only shrugged. “…mm. forget it.” Then he shot off, a strong gust of wind blowing your hair back, knocking a chair over, and every ounce of dust on the floor flew at you as you shut your eyes.
The room felt strangely empty after that. You stared at the poor chair for another second before looking down at the half-finished lollipop in your hand.
“…weird fucking guy.”
Mark landed a little too hard, the concrete beneath his boots cracking with a dull crunch that made him grimace almost immediately. William’s little talk gave him a reality check his ego wasn’t prepared for so he left, like the fucking idiot he was. “…shit.”
He rubbed a hand down his face, brows pinching together as he stared blankly at the mess he’d made before letting out a slow breath through his nose. His fingers lingered over his mouth for a second, thumb absentmindedly running across his bottom lip.
His phone buzzed. Mark barely looked at it before pulling it out of his pocket.
Eve.
“…yeah?” He answered quietly, rubbing the back of his neck.
“Hey.” Eve’s voice came through the speaker. “Everything okay?”
Mark raised a brow to himself, glancing off toward nothing in particular before giving a small shrug she couldn’t even see. “…mm. yeah.”
“You sure?”
He scratched absentmindedly at the side of his jaw, jaw flexing once before he nodded to himself. “…just tired.”
“You still coming?” She murmured, “my folks left the house so… i think for once we could have a normal night without my dad terrorizing you.”
Mark looked down at his phone, lips pressing together for the briefest second. “…yeah.” He murmured. “…be there in a minute.” The call ended.
His thumb hovered over the screen instead, drifting almost automatically until your contact filled it.
Mark stared. Raised his brows. Scoffed quietly at himself. “…c’mon, pussy.” he muttered to himself.
His fingers typed before his brain caught up.
did you see the new seance dog teaser?
He read it once, his expression tightening almost instantly before he sucked the inside of his cheek and held backspace until the message disappeared.
“…fuck.” idiot, idiot, idiot. bringing up both of yours’ favourite show to start a conversation?
what happened to when he just COULD converse without a prompt.
Mark squeezed the phone once, hard enough for his knuckles to pale, before shoving it back into his pocket with another tired sigh. He stood there for another second, eyes lingering somewhere over the city skyline, then shook his head once and pushed himself back into the air.
Mark pushed the bedroom window open with the heel of his hand, climbing inside with the same ease he’d done a hundred times before. Except this time there wasn’t the usual crooked grin, or some dumb comment before his feet even touched the floor. His shoulders looked heavier somehow, hoodie hanging off him in a way that made him seem smaller than six foot two had any right to. Eve looked up from her bed, the smile she’d been wearing disappearing almost as quickly as it’d appeared.
“…Mark?” she called, watching him stand there.
He didn’t answer right away, his eyes wandered around the room instead, catching on everything and absolutely fucking nothing. The bookshelf. The lamp. The jacket thrown over her chair. The family photo on her dresser. His brows pinched together almost instinctively before relaxing again, his jaw flexing once as he rubbed at the back of his neck. It was like watching someone search for a thought they knew they had five seconds ago.
“…Mark.” Eve tried again, quieter this time.
“…mm?” His head turned slowly, almost lazily, like she’d pulled him back from somewhere he hadn’t realized he’d drifted into, but his brown eyes remained away, elsewhere.
She frowned. “You’ve been standing there for like…” she glanced toward the window before looking back at him. “…a minute.”
“…have i?” his question came out genuine, as he rubbed his neck slowly. that was the part that unsettled her, how oozy doozy he looked.
Mark looked around the room again, almost embarrassed, rubbing both hands over his face before dragging one through his hair hard enough to leave half of it sticking up. He let out a tired breath through his nose, shoulders rising with it before falling just as heavily. “…sorry.”
Eve climbed off the bed slowly, stopping a couple feet away from him. She didn’t touch him. Didn’t think she should. Something about the look on his face told her he was wound too tight, like one wrong movement would send him somewhere else entirely.
“…what happened?” she asked carefully.
Mark opened his mouth. Nothing. Everything. Fuck off. His eyes drifted toward the window behind him. Then the floor. Then somewhere over her shoulder. Anywhere but her.
“…i dunno.” He shrugged. His voice barely carried, he frowned almost immediately afterward, annoyed with himself, rubbing hard at his forehead before letting his hand slide down over his mouth. “…fuck.”
Silence swallowed the room, Eve watched him chew the inside of his cheek, his fingers refusing to stay still for more than a second. They kept tugging at the cuff of his sleeve, then rubbing against his thumb, then disappearing into the pocket of his hoodie before coming back out again. Even standing still, he couldn’t seem to settle into his own body.
“…did something happen with…” She hesitated just long enough to regret asking. “…with her?”
Mark lazily hummed and only stared at the floorboards between his feet, lips parting ever so slightly before pressing together again. His throat bobbed once.
Eve shut her eyes for a brief second, letting out a quiet breath through her nose before looking back at him. “…Jesus Christ, Mark.”
He finally looked up, confuzzled, almost offended if anything, “…what?”
“i asked you a question,” Eve said, raising a ginger brow at him. “Are you—”
“what movie are we watching?” Mark cut her off, toeing his shoes off with the heel of the other one, missing entirely and sending it into the side of her dresser with a dull thud. “woops— sorry,”
Eve’s eyes twitched a little bit, “okay can you tell me whats going on with you?”
“Nothing!” He snapped, rubbing his face. “Just noth-nothing, okay, im having a bad day, y’know, ptsd or whatever, can we just watch the fuck-awful movie?” He gestured to her laptop as he climbed onto her bed and flopped down.
Eve blew out an exasperated breath and nodded, setting up the movie from an illegal website and lying down beside him.
and no, if you thought Mark was paying attention, no.
“…where do you think they’re gonna go?” She gestured to the protagonists of the movie, her nails scratching his forearm lightly.
“Violet.” Mark mumbled mindlessly.
Eve lifted her head and furrowed her brows drastically at him, “what?” She muttered, confused.
“Huh?” Mark blinked. “Sorry, i-i meant Canada.” He replied, nodding mindlessly.
“Huh?” Eve narrowed her eyes. “…Mark we’re watching the hunger games.”
twins at the carousel thoughts….has there/will there be a moment where reader attempts to move on or is asked out by someone who isn’t mark?? Would mark find out?
Mark done pmo I want his heart to BURRRNN and the only cure to be reader
gets a similar taste of his own medicine fr fr
or would he find out about other mark and other mark yaps to him and calls him a dumbass?? Hmmmm
-🫧🎠 (idk if some1 is using that)
i cant reveal much since i don’t wanna spoil anything since tatc is just a small series, which explains my compact writing and all, but the ending isn’t what you expect at all thats all im gonna say
